Dear Ryuunosuke Chiba,

This is goodbye. Actually Lovro-san told me I should leave without a trace but it didn't feel right not saying something to you. You must think I'm crazy because leaving at all shouldn't feel right.

And you're correct.

It feels awful. It feels horrible that I made this decision without telling you. I should've told you but I didn't want to know your response if I told you. I didn't want you to change because of something I'd decided.

What am I even writing… I'm just making excuses. I didn't want you to change my mind. I know this is probably a huge surprise and even I'm shocked at how it's come to this. I hope you can forget me after this… we probably won't ever see each other again.

I want you to know that what we had… whatever it was… I treasure every moment of it and I'll always wonder what it would've been like to call you by your name. Or see your eyes. Or kiss you.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Hayami Rinka

Cold. Heartless. Cruel. None of these words were on the paper but they practically flew from the page. This white page that was filled with words written and crossed out over and over again. Chiba refused to acknowledge the tears that stained the page, both fresh and old, smudging the ink. He tore it up and dumped it in the bin, hoping this was all only a dream.

He desperately wished these past two days were nothing but a terrible, terrible dream. He wanted to wake up tomorrow, go to school, see Hayami's shy smile, hear her call him by his first name for the first time and forget that Bitch-sensei even handed him the horrible letter that was a mess in his trash. He wanted to forget the pitiful look Bitch-sensei had given him when she passed him the envelope. She'd known all along.

She'd known and didn't stop Hayami. Anyone in their right mind would've stopped her. If it was him, he would've locked her away, talked and screamed at her until she understood not to go away. In all her maturity and forward thinking why couldn't she see what a stupid idea this was? Why did she have to go and make this decision all by herself? Why couldn't she say something to him? Why couldn't she let him give her a voice of reason?

Before he went to bed that night, Chiba fished out the letter, taped it back together and filed it away for safe keeping.

Hayami wouldn't look him in the eyes. They were sitting across from each other on her spacious queen sized bed, (the assassin job really must pay well because her hotel room was huge) simply holding hands in a comfortable silence. Hayami had actually wanted to remain in their cozy position against the headboard but Chiba protested, saying he would rather look her straight in the face.

He had spent his whole life hiding his eyes. Now that he was unguarded and exposed, eyes revealed for the whole world to see, he wanted to face her properly. As she took her turn to open up, to tell him the proper truth, he didn't want her to hide. They needed to do this the right way, facing each other and whatever the future had in store.

In the continued quiet, Chiba saw Hayami take several deep breaths, opening her mouth to say something before quickly deciding against it and biting her lip in frustration. She squeezed his hands, impatient at herself for being so cowardly. She at least owed him this.

How many times had she practiced this explanation before she went to bed? How many times had she fantasised about a reunion like this? He was right here, open ears and all hers. Yet she couldn't find the words at all.

"Take your time." Chiba soothed, rubbing soft circles on the back of her hands with his thumbs, hoping it'd calm her at least a bit. He saw her shoulders tense before relaxing once again, as if Hayami was trying to expel the nervousness forcefully. His voice was gentle and warm, an actual embodiment of hot chocolate on a freezing day. She would drown herself in it all day if she could. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

Intertwining their fingers, Hayami arranged the muddled mess of words that swam around in her head. Where did she start? What if it came out all wrong? How could she explain what had been going through her reckless, distraught fifteen year old brain? She'd been miserable, her mind had hardly been very logical. How could she possibly phrase it in a way that he would understand without thinking she was crazy and thoughtless?

All those questions flew out of her mind the second she lifted her head to look him in the eyes. On his face was the kindest smile she'd ever seen. It was tender, not pushing her or cajoling her. It did more than calm her down.

Coupled with the way his eyes, his beautiful mellow red eyes, softened, it made her feel as if her whole body was melting. She'd always wondered what colour his eyes would be – whether they'd be a deep chocolate brown or a bright blue. She'd never thought they'd be such a soft red, almost pink, striking yet gentle in their own way. They made her feel like she was the most important thing in the world, the only person that would be reflected so clearly in them. It was as if no matter what she said, he would understand.

It was so simple. She'd just tell him everything.

"Ever since my parents got divorced, my mother has never been very nice to me." Hayami began, gulping, averting her eyes to the ceiling so she could keep the emotions at bay. She'd never told anyone the full story of her home life and simply starting the tale felt like cracks in a dam she's had her entire life. Her emotions were dangerously threatening to overflow and flood over her. "No matter what I did I was a disappointment. She'd tell me how ashamed she was of me. How she'd invested so much time and money in me yet I only ever failed her. When I fell to Class E it only got worse. I became a disgusting stain on her life. She loved to say how much she wished I wasn't born."

Chiba took a moment to place a reassuring hand on Hayami's knee, untangling one of his hands from hers to do so. This brought Hayami out of her reverie, out of the dark reality that was the first fifteen years of her life.

Her eyes were wet and shiny, he had a feeling his were too, but he gave her knee a comforting squeeze. She wasn't there anymore. That reality didn't have its hands around her neck anymore. The scars and bruises would remain but its hold had been ripped away.

"I guess I got her hopes up with the first trimester final results… so, when I dropped out of the top fifty in the next exam she… she snapped. That's when she hit me." Hayami said slowly, pulling his remaining hand towards her, drawing him closer so their knees could touch and she could have both his hands in her lap. She played with his fingers, trying to distract herself from the painful memories. Even after three years, they still hurt to touch. Almost as much as a fresh wound would. "It only got worse from then on, especially because I ran away that night. Bitch-sensei taught me how to cover up the bruises so that's why no one knew."

He wanted to interrupt so badly. Chiba wanted to stop her right there and ask why she never told him. She could have told him and they could figure it out together. The way they always did. Whether it was math problems or assassination schemes they were a brilliant team, likeminded enough to get along but also different enough to complement each other. However, this was Hayami's turn. He would wait. He had to wait. Let her tell him her full story.

"I can tell from that look on your face that you're wondering why I didn't tell you. You're a lot easier to read when you don't have your hair covering up half your face." Hayami teased humourlessly, her little giggle empty and sombre. At the mention of his eyes, Chiba suddenly felt naked. His emotions were out in the open and she could see. Of course, Hayami, of all people, would be able to decipher his thoughts now that his fringe was out of the way.

His immediate first reaction was to hide his face, pulling his hands out of her hold to shield his eyes from her view. He would've shook his head to let his hair fall forward again but Hayami had grabbed a hair clip from her bed side earlier, pinning up his bangs and resigning them from their job as his permanent veil. He felt prying hands on his, urging them away gently so she could look him in the eyes.

Her expression was firm yet soft, making his insides do all kinds of backflips because now she was so close. Her nose was inches from his, he could feel her breath on his face and it shouldn't be so heart racing, they'd made out already for heaven's sake, but it was. It felt like his heart was at his throat, aching to jump out of his chest and into Hayami's hands. At this point he was ready to hand it to her on a silver platter.

"I didn't want you to worry. You always look so devastated whenever I'm upset. It hurts just seeing you like that. I didn't want to think how you'd feel if you'd known what was going on in my own home." Hayami said as she brought his hands back down between them, sitting back so they weren't mixing breaths anymore. Slowly, everything was falling into place and the last three years didn't hurt as much. They didn't hurt like a stab wound in the back anymore. "It sounds noble when I say it that way but I was simply being selfish. I didn't consider your feelings and in the end I hurt you much more in the end."

Absently, Chiba wondered what he looked like when he worried about her. Whenever she was troubled, he burned with a determination to eliminate whatever was making her feel that way. If he couldn't do that, at the very least, he wanted to make her forget about it. Let her have a reprieve from whatever was bothering her (which was usually her own downward spiral of anxiety). However, seeing her broken and downtrodden was physically painful. He wondered if that showed on his face even when he had a curtain to hide it from the world.

"Do you remember that time we were studying in your room? I didn't get permission from my mother at the time, I snuck out. I needed to talk to you… it was the day after I called Lovro-sensei after all." Hayami said, bringing him back to reality. Chiba remembered that incident quite vividly, considering it was one of the most unproductive study sessions he'd ever had. They'd barely studied, just lay together, basking in the afternoon warmth while the late autumn sun was still high in the sky. For the first hour or so though, Hayami had been the most distracted he had ever seen her. "I needed to know where you stood and once I did… I couldn't tell you the truth. I didn't want to know what you'd do once you knew. The rational part of me told you'd convince me to stay with all your might. The other part though… the part that was scared to bits of my mother that hit me when I got home… she told me you might come with me."

That made sense. It made a lot more sense than whatever other reasons Chiba had made up in his mind in the darkest nights when he missed her the most. When he'd answered her with such casual conviction, the type that was so innate it came out like second nature, of course she wouldn't have the heart to tell him.

While he knew he would've tried his best to dissuade her out of her decision, he knew that following her wouldn't have been such an obscure option. It wouldn't have been his first choice of action but in the shoes of his fifteen year old self, he would've given it a decent amount of thought.

"In the end, I had to make a judgment call. Whether I liked you… or hated my mother more. I had to choose between the life I could have without her and the life I could have with you." Hayami whispered, wet eyes finally letting loose the tears they'd kept at bay. Her voice was clear, unlike when she bawled her eyes out the night before, but her fingers shook. "It was a stupid decision, I know but… but I was so scared. I was so, so scared and I couldn't handle it anymore."

And now Chiba felt like a first rate asshole. All these years, he'd faulted her for every hurt and every painful memory from their last year in middle school. He'd blamed her for the gaping hole in his chest but could he do that anymore? All she'd done was flee from the hell that awaited her every day. Realistically speaking, what could he have done for her? She'd seen an escape route and run for it like mad.

It hadn't been the only option available to her but terrified people did terrifying things. They jumped at the first viable chance at liberation from whatever they feared and didn't look back until it was much too late. That had been exactly what Hayami had done.

"Thank you." Chiba blurted out without a second thought. It had been the first thing on his mind now that the truth was out. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her close, hugging her as tight as he could. "You didn't owe me anything but you gave it to me… so, thank you."

"How can you say that? After I hurt you so much, how can you say that?" Hayami murmured into his shirt, burying her face into his shoulder, effectively wetting the material there. She clutched onto the back of his shirt like a lifeline, pressing their bodies as intimately as possible. She held on like she never wanted to let go.

"Because you came to see me. You could've avoided me your entire life and I don't care how much you tell yourself it was for your own selfish reasons. I know you did it for me too." Chiba comforted, kissing the top of her head lightly. She lifted herself from her hiding place on his shoulder, eyes wide and hopeful. She almost looked like she had regressed back to being a child, wishing with everything she had. Chiba treasured these moments where she showed her inner naiveté, the part of her that she'd ignored in favour of growing up as fast as she could. "I forgive you so please forgive yourself."

"Do you really forgive me?" Hayami asked innocently, her hands looping around his neck, her touch so light it kind of tickled. Chiba very nearly wanted to break up this moment to grab his phone to take a picture of her. It was so rare to see her like this.

Chiba gave her his answer with a long kiss.

It wasn't bordering on animalistic the way he'd greeted her earlier. It wasn't pure and magical the way it went in movies. It was filled with promises and reassurance though. It was filled with everything he felt for her – good, bad, ugly, full of affection and full of resentment. It was filled with how much he cared and how much he truly understood. It was filled with how much he forgave her.

"Promise to stay with me and I will." Chiba added when he pulled away for air. She looked positively dazed, flooded with all Chiba had to give her and all he had to ask of her. He knew he was being unreasonable. She had a steady job, after all. Being an assassin clearly put food on the table, it was very luxurious food at that, and it wasn't like she could quit at a moment's notice. She couldn't even keep her job and stay with him. She had to move around or it'd be a danger to her but there was no other way. They wouldn't survive if she had to leave.

"I was planning to quit soon anyway." Hayami grinned, surprising him with the simplicity of her answer. He had been expecting hesitation, perhaps even negotiation. However, Hayami was the killer of expectations. She took advantage of his stupor to grab his face and pull him into a gleeful kiss. She yanked his face to hers with such force they were sent tumbling onto the bed and Hayami laughed through the whole thing. How she managed to keep his lips locked on hers while laughing into his mouth and rolling around on the bed was beyond him. It was enjoyable nonetheless and Chiba couldn't complain when he ended up on top of her, her cheeks pink from mirth. "I'm sure Lovro-sensei was half anticipating me quitting after my trip to Japan."

"You… you're really going to stay?" Chiba stuttered, disbelief pooling in stomach. Could she do that? Could she just up and quit? Shouldn't things be a bit more complicated than that? Hayami cut through his thoughts with another sharp kiss. It would be an understatement to say that when she did that with her tongue that it was hard to think. His whole head went numb and all he could think about was how amazing a kisser Hayami was.

"You'll be mine if I do, right?" Hayami asked cheekily, hooking her fingers around his neck and Chiba gulped. She was so close, her eyes playful and her voice teasing. He covered his mouth with his hand, averting his eyes in hopes of escaping the embarrassment but with the way she chuckled he knew she could see the intense blush on his tan skin. She could probably even feel the heat under her fingertips. "You're cute when you're flustered, Ryuunosuke."

And that was the last straw. She'd nonchalantly asked him out (wasn't that the guy's job?), called him cute (that was utterly mortifying in itself because a bordering six foot tall guy with an intimidating gaze shouldn't be cute) and then she'd said his name like it was nothing (he still couldn't get used to the way his name practically rolled off her tongue, sweet and smooth like honey).

Honestly, if he didn't find a hole to crawl into soon he'll spontaneously combust. There weren't any pits of eternal humiliation in the hotel room, of course because the room was immaculately maintained, so he took to collapsing on top of Hayami, burying his burning face in her hair and neck. It would have to do even if the very proximity made him blush deeper.

"You're unfair, Rinka." Chiba complained into her skin, hugging her tight around the waist. She was being so painfully suave he couldn't handle it. With all the training she'd had to have had, she'd definitely be smooth but he didn't think she'd be that smooth. She made him feel like an inexperienced, pure high school kid. Actually on second thought, wasn't that exactly what he was? He hadn't really gone past first base with his girlfriend. "I wanted to be the one to ask you to be my girlfriend."

"You can ask me out properly another time if you want." Hayami said, mock comforting him by stroking his hair. She could put on all the airs of feeling sympathy for him for stealing all the cool parts but he could practically feel her amusement rolling off her in waves. And not the gentle kind of waves that lap at the seashore. Her glee was slapping him in the face like a tidal wave. He couldn't help but pout and from the way Hayami's shoulders shook, he had a feeling she knew.

"It's fine. As long as you keep the last part of our promise, it's fine."

Ok! So this is the final chapter of the main plot but there's still one more chapter that will serve as an epilogue. It's basically the aftermath of all this but it's really just me satisfying my need for more Chibahaya fluff. It's currently riding on 5K+ and nowhere near finished so I have no idea how long it'll take to come out but I hope you'll wait for it ^^ And it's not just fluff because I'm a weirdo that has to insert at least some angst everywhere. It'll also feature more of Class E so you can anticipate more Class E antics :D (because who doesn't love the dynamics of that crazy class)

Anyway it has been a lovely 15K journey with you all~ I hope you enjoyed it!