Apology

Readers, I need to apologize to you for being such a terrible author. This is a small chapter all its own in the hopes that you will read it and (possibly, if you are feeling charitable) forgive me for my lateness and inability to keep my promises. Every time I've tried to promise an update, I failed to deliver on the date I'd given you as the update date. This is especially so in the past six months.

It was wrong of me to break my word to you.

I should have either not promised dates or I should have kept my word. I did better when I forced myself to write a chapter every Tuesday.

I can say it was my homework. That would be mostly true. I can say I was busy. That would also be partially true. Most of all, though, I was tired and I was procrastinating. I love writing Hidden Phantom but working on a story that will be twice the length of a novel by the time my coauthor and I are finished with it is extremely tiring. Before I wrote fanfiction, my longest story was 5 pages long in a lined notebook. It only finished because I got bored and killed off all the characters. This is a very different experience.

The procrastination and exhaustion I felt led me to fail to log on to for a long time. The longer I stayed off, the more I became afraid of what everyone thought of me for becoming the author who fails to update a story. I avoided looking at any reviews and didn't even read any fanfiction for well over three months.

I shouldn't have avoided the issue.

I no longer have even the faintest excuse. I just finished finals for 4 classes and only have 2 ongoing ones. One will end in about four weeks, but I will be taking up two new classes beginning approximately this week. Nonetheless, those three (total) classes shouldn't stop me from writing this summer unless I stop myself, even if I get a job.

I'm not sure how to start fixing the problem, though. There is the solution for Writer's Block (to keep writing), but I'm not sure that works when I'm tired. I'm not sure how to stop myself from being afraid of Flame Reviews for my stupid habit. I don't know how to motivate myself to find a great deal of interest in every chapter of Hidden Phantom.

I need a regular date, but it can't be weekly at this point. I think Thursdays are the best days for that kind of date, but I remember Tuesdays better. Perhaps I can attempt to put up a chapter every other week on Tuesdays or even every three weeks.

What can I do to make up for my many broken promises?

-A Very Wretched MiaulinK