Hi Everyone :)

I am so sorry for not updating like I promised but like every writer out there, life and mainly school got in the way of my story updating. And I have to admit, with so much going on in my life, I felt really low on motivation for this story. But, the other day I was listening to Ellie Goulding's - All I Want song and inspiration shook my very being that it entranced me to finish this piece.

The song was so emotional and mesmerising that it convinced me not to give up on this story. So I recommend all readers to download and listen to this song while reading this chapter. I promise you, you won't regret it.

I also want to thank 'Failed To De-anon' for proof reading this angsty story. She is an amazing writer of Elia Martell. Check out her stories if you haven't already.

0000

I was sitting in my husband's solar; it has been unused by him for many moons now. Rhaenys, my sweet three year old daughter, was sitting next to Viserys, drawing.

Aegon, my adorable baby boy, was lying in his bassinet, sucking on his small fist while making soft gurgling sounds.

My ladies were sitting around me, sewing and lightly chatting to each other.

Ashara Dayne, my closest and dearest friend, was sitting beside me. Her face was the most familiar and friendly amongst the strangers who have surrounded me. She, too, was sewing though she refused to speak with the other ladies besides me, muttering how they were all a bunch of ninnies.

I softly laughed at that.

Though she seemed rather engrossed in her work, I knew her focus wasn't on the stitching she had in her hands.

No, it was on Brandon Stark.

The man came barreling into King's Landing; angry and foolish, demanding for Rhaegar to come out and die. Apparently, from the gossip and confirmation from my ladies, Rhaegar, my husband, 'kidnapped' the Stark girl and has altogether disappeared. The last time I saw my husband was the night we were...together.

That was three weeks before the wild wolf's unexpected visit.

Five moons later, Brandon Stark is still sitting in the black cells, awaiting his punishment for threatening the heir of the Iron Throne.

Poor man.

I wonder what my good-father, the Mad King, has planned for the unfortunate Stark, I mused sadly.

My husband is a fool.

Now, because of his selfish actions, the Stark family will lose their eldest son and Ashara, her lover.

I set my stitching aside and laid my hands on my large stomach. It had been unexpected when I found out I was with child.

Maester Pycelle, who declared me unfit to have any more children, confirmed it with me and suggested that I take a special 'concoction' to rid me of my child. He told me to consider what happened in the last pregnancy, when I almost died giving birth to Aegon.

I was appalled by his mere suggestion. I told him that even if it kills me, I will not end the life of an innocent child, my child.

The old man tried to make me reconsider; but, I stood firm. This unborn baby of mines will live. If I have to pay the price with my life to make it so, then it shall be done.

When news of my pregnancy reached the Queen; who was also pregnant, she immediately sent a letter to Maester Aemon, requesting his assistance and guidance for my unborn child. The queen did not want Maester Pycelle anywhere near me or the child when I told her of his 'concoction' despite his claim of the best intentions. Maester Aemon came as soon as the letter reached him and has been by my side ever since.

The man was very strict and watchful of my health, despite him being blind and very old. He has me, to my dismay, eating red meat, in every meal as well as some fruits and vegetables on some occasions, saying I needed to gain some weight.

After four moons, gone was the thinness of my arms and thighs. Though I still looked frail, my body seemed to have a healthy glow to it.

Having Maester Aemon here with me was a grand idea. It made me feel safe and unworried.

Maybe this time, things will be different.

Maybe, if the gods are merciful, I will live long enough to see my unborn child's first name day.

The sound of metal clanging and footsteps heading this way, caused everyone; including me, to look up.

Rhaegar.

He was walking towards us with two Kingsgaurd flanking him: Ser Arthur Dayne and Ser Lewyn Martell, my uncle. Rhaenys' little form shot up, "Papa!"

She squealed as she ran into his arms. Rhaegar smiled as he lifted the little girl up and swung her in the air, causing her to giggle. He hugged her when Rhaenys said that she missed him. Saying he missed her too, he gave her a kiss on the forehead. When Rhaegar moved his searching, dark eyes along my ladies, it fell quiet.

His eyes betrayed no emotion when his indigo orbs met my yellow ones. When they landed on my big stomach, something flickered in his eyes.

It was anger. He's angry? Why would he be angry?? I should be the one angry not him.

He looked cold and disappointed, his chest was heaving as he was breathing hard.

"So, it's true" he said, not caring that there were people, besides us both, in the solar.

"Is what true?" I asked, pretending to be confused.

"You being with child" he replied, putting a smiling Rhaenys down. I noticed he still held on to our daughter's small hand.

With my face devoid of any emotion, I said a single word: "Yes".

His dark eyes hardened, "Leave us".

At first, everyone remained quiet and afraid. The two Kingsgaurd stood rigid and unmoved.

"Now", he commanded, not moving his eyes away from mine.

Ashara sneaked a look at me and I nodded for her to listen. My ladies quickly got up and took the children outside. Ser Arthur Dayne followed behind Ashara. My Uncle, Ser Lewyn, who still had yet to move, looked concernedly between me and Rhaegar.

I smiled reassuringly at him and nodded for him to follow the others.

When we were left alone, Rhaegar approached me, his steps slow. I kept my gaze on his; not wanting to lose to whatever game he was playing at.

"Why have I not heard of this sooner??" He growled.

I frowned at him. "I had thought you wouldn't care, considering your infatuation with the wolf girl".

"Of course I care Elia. How could you think that???!" He roared, making me flinch. It made me angrier, as well; but, before I could respond, Rhaegar continued. "I had the right to know Elia!! I'm the father of the child, am I not!?"

My eyes hardened at the clear indication and I slowly stood up from my chair; the weight of my stomach slowing my movements. Rhaegar saw this and moved to help me up but I held my hand up to stop him.

"Of course you are! How could you say otherwise?! This baby is as much as yours as it is mine!" I yelled, heat rising up to my cheeks. "The only man that has ever graced my bed was you and only you. I have never sought paramours nor have I ever betrayed our vows, not like you with the Stark girl!"

Too angry to look at him any more, I turned away from him and leaned against the window of the solar. I repeated the words of my house in my head; Unbent, Unbowed and Unbroken and took deep breaths to calm myself down.

A pair of strong arms wrapped around me and sighed, "I apologize. I had not meant for you to be angry. I was just upset that you didn't send news of you being with child to me sooner".

"Oh? And pray tell where would I send the raven to if no one knew where you were? Lest I remind you, Husband, you and the girl disappeared without a trace or a word of goodbye, leaving me and our children so you could go play prophesies with her", I seethed, trying to move away from his embrace.

He kept his arms around me and whispered. "Words of apology cannot make up for what I d—".

"Please spare me your false words of sympathy, Rhaegar", I scoffed. "I grow tired of it".

"Eli—".

"What did you and the girl do during the time you were away?" I asked, interrupting him, my gaze still on the horizon.

My question was answered with silence. I felt my heart start to ache in pain as a tear rolled down my cheek. He gently turned me around and wiped it away. "Please understand Elia. It had to be done. I needed a third h—"

"Is she with child?" I interrupted, staring into his eyes.

Sadness and shame graced his beautiful face, the wind gently blowing his silver hair about. "Yes".

Oh.

"How wonderful it must be for you. Not only will you get a third head, you will get a fourth one as well." I replied sarcastically.

He grimaced. "Elia, I'm so—"

"Did you meet with your father?" I asked sharply, as I turned away from him to once again lean against the window. I rested my hands on the window sill.

He hesitated. "Yes. He didn't take it too well when I plead mercy for Brandon Stark, but he agreed to let him go on the condition that the Stark heir be returned to Winterfell and never set foot in King's Landing unless summoned by him".

Closing my eyes, I released a shaky breath I didn't realize I was holding. Ashara will be pleased with this news. I felt Rhaegar's hands upon my shoulders. "D-Do you love her?"

The room fell silent as soon as the words left my lips. I frowned and turned towards him. I stared at him, "Rhaegar?"

He turned his back to me, "I would be lying to you if I said I didn't feel anything but fondness for her………."

My heart felt like it was drowning in the deepest and darkest depths of the ocean as the walls built around my love began to crumble. Struggling to breathe, I leaned back against the window and tried to calm my erratic breathing.

He. Loves. Her.

Not me.

Her.

Feeling a little light-headed, I gracefully walked to the chair and, with some difficulty, slowly lowered myself down on it. Closing my eyes, I rested my hand on my stomach and the other to my temple, to gently rub the slight ache away.

"But that does not mean I don't feel the same way about you. I love you, Elia", he says, his tone meaning it. I felt a painful sting against my chest when he said those words.

I love you.

Oh how I wanted those words to be true whenever I hear them from his mouth.

Now. Now they seem meaningless.

Nothing but empty words.

Empty promises.

When was the last time that that those words felt real? A tear slipped from under my lashes.

I truly can't remember.

I didn't hear him move nor did I feel the shift in the air but my hands were removed from their places and into warmer ones.

In to his hands. The hands of the Dragon.

I opened my eyes to see him bent down in front of me. His beautiful indigo eyes raging with passion and certainty. "There are many things that I know I shouldn't have done", he said, his voice raw with guilt.

With his eyes still on mines, he entwined our hands together. Too tired to pull away or argue, I just sat there and watched him.

"And it's something I must live with everyday, for the rest of my life, knowing that my selfish and wrong doings had caused you great pain." He lifted our joined hands and placed a warm kiss on my hand. "I am so sorry-"

"Your Grace?" A voice that sounded young and firm but relief to my ears, interrupted Rhaegar from his apology. With his eyes still on mine, Rhaegar replied in a hard and angry tone, "What is it?".

"Your mother, her majesty: Queen Rhaella, would like to see you immediately, your Grace". At the mention of his mother's name, we both looked up to see that it was Ser Jamie who came to retrieve him. I looked back at Rhaegar to see him contemplating whether to go or not.

I , however, took the chance to dismiss him. "Go and see your mother Rhaegar. I know she misses you too." I gently urged, wanting anything but for him to continue his heart-felt sorry.

Hurt visible in his expression, Rhaegar nodded and straightened up to his full height and turned to walk towards the entrance of the solar. I kept my eyes on his retreating form to see him stop in front of Ser Jaime. Without looking at the young man, Rhaegar asks in a soft voice, "Ser Jaime, would you please escort my wife back to her chambers. I fear the day seems to be taking a toll on her."

I narrowed my eyes at him and before I could retort a reply at my husband, Ser Jaime spoke up and bowed his head. "Of course, your grace."

With that, Rhaegar took his leave but not before sneaking a glance at me.

Relieved that he left, I was content with the silence that had fallen around me. Sighing, I slowly pulled myself up from the chair, with Ser Jaime helping. My arms wrapped around his as he slowly lead the way to my chambers. Through our walk there, we spoke in a comfortable chat about things that were shared amongst friends.

During the time Rhaegar was away, taking Ser Arthur and Ser Gerold with him, Ser Jaime was tasked with take post at my chambers as sentry. With no one other than Ashara and Rhaella to talk to, I would sometimes strike up conversations with him. We have something of a friendship now. It was easy conversing with him, as it always is with Rhaella and Ashara.

I was so drawn in to the conversation, giggling here and there to his japes; that I didn't realise we had reached the doors to my chambers.

"Here we are Princess, safely back at your quarters", Ser Jaime said as he beamed at me with that dashing smirk of his. He was so handsome, one would think that he wasn't eight and ten but older.

I couldn't help but smile back at him, his smile too infectious to resist. But before I could utter a word, Ser Jaime frowned, "Your grace, I pray that I'm not too forward but I could not help but notice that you seem to be under the weather, would you like for me to summon Maester Aemon?"

Surprised by his question and clear concern in his voice, I cleared my throat before answering him. "No, no, that won't be necessary, I'm quite alright. Besides, Maester Aemon is in conference with the King. It would be rude to interrupt their little talk."

Understanding all to well, Ser Jaime nodded, "Then, may I suggest that you partake in some water before retiring? It would help to dispel whatever's ailing you. It works for me whenever I seem to find myself not feeling up to it or unwell".

Blushing, I nodded and smiled, "Thank you, Ser Jaime".

He returned the smile and opened the door for me. When I was safely in the confines of my rooms, Ser Jaime bowed his head and closed the door, leaving me alone with Ashara and the children.

Night came as soon as the sun left the sky and already the children were bathed, changed into their night clothes and put to sleep as soon as they finished their evening meal. Ashara and I remained awake, talking and giggling away about stories that we heard from the ladies at court.

Amidst the story-telling, Ashara was brushing my long dark hair as I sat in front of the mirror, a nightly ritual before going to bed. She seemed rather determined to make it soft and silky by the time she reaches the hundredth stroke. It felt wonderful with just her and me in the room, with the children asleep and no one to disturb us. It reminded me of the time I had with Ser Jamie earlier today.

But with Rhaegar it was different. Gone were the days it felt good to talk to him, to be with him. Now, I just can't stand being in the same room with him without getting angry or hurt.

"Elia?" came a soft voice beside me. I looked up to see a concerned look upon Ashara's face. "Are you ok?".

"Yes. I'm fine", I replied, giving her a reassuring smile. Not looking at all convinced, Ashara snorted in an unladylike manner, "Oh Elia, I've known you long enough to know that there is something on your mind".

With one long final brush stroke, Ashara set to plaiting my thick hair in a loose braid. "Come on-", she said as she weaved my long hair about, "tell your best friend what's bothering you".

My shoulders slumped as I released a deep breath and told her about the talk I had with Rhaegar. I told her about him confessing his feelings for the Stark girl and despite admitting that he loved the girl, his proclaiming his love for me.

As she finished plaiting my hair, Ashara looked disgusted.

"I swear, Elia, if he wasn't a Prince that was destined to overthrow his mad father of a King, I would have beaten the man into a bloody pulp, that he would end up looking like a bloody blood orange!" fumed Ashara as we made our way to the bed and laid on it, facing each other.

I chuckled at the angry expression her face had. She reminds me so much of Oberyn.

I miss my brothers.

I miss Dorne.

"Elia", murmured Ashara, her hand brushing aside a few stray hairs from my face, "I spoke to my brother."

"I trust he's in good health, yes?", I asked in a tired voice as I closed my eyes. She started caressing my face. "He is".

"That's good," I said, smiling, feeling a light feathery touch on my lips.

"Elia".

Too tired to sense the quiet seriousness in her tone, I hummed in reply, my eyes slightly opened to look at Ashara, her light amethyst eyes filled with what looked like sorrow...or was that pity? Why would her eyes have such emotion? Unless...

No more feeling drained nor tired but a little nervous at the look my friend was giving me, I frowned. "What is it?", I asked her as I took her hands in mines, squeezing them gently.

She looked at me sadly, her beautiful amethyst eyes glistening as tears filled them. "Oh Elia, meri sundar behan (My dear sweet sister), you don't deserve such a fate that has been forced upon you".

Fate? What fate? But before I could ask her what she meant by that, she blurted one word "Dorne" that made me still for a moment.

Dorne. What about Dorne?

Then I realised with sorrow in my heart that Ashara was asking if she could go back to Dorne.

After all that happened to Brandon returning to winterfell and her being pregnant with the wild wolf's child, there was nothing here in Kingslanding for Ashara but heartbreaks and more heartbreaks. At least in Dorne, her and the child will have a safe and comfortable life amongst close family and friends, an escape from more gossips that will surely follow her once she starts showing. It would be good for her and the baby.

But I will surely miss her.

Maybe...no.

I will let her go.

Let her have a life that will make her happy...oh Ashara, Main sab mere dil ke saath tumhen yaad hoga (I will miss you with all my heart).

"Arthur told me that he and the crown prince was in Dorne", Ashara spat disdainfully as she continued speaking before I could utter a word to her. But instead all I could do was blink stupidly at her, trying to grasp the meaning behind her words.

Then it dawned on to me.

"What??!", I hissed, my eyes widening in shock as I lifted my head. My husband and my most trusted friend from young was in Dorne. Dorne!

"Haan (Yes), Elia. The Prince was secretly residing at the Tower of Joy with his she-wolf."

That-that...that Bastard!!

I was utterly furious by this new piece of information, and very much hurt that I was only hearing it now after the 'deed' was done on the golden sands of my homeland. Just by thinking about it made me even more angrier. How could he? How could he do this to me? Betray me like this?

As these thoughts wildly swirled around my head like the sand storms in Dorne, a hard knock came from my chamber door.

Knowing that I was in no mood to receive visitors much less anyone at this point, Ashara, my ever wonderful and most trusted friend, tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and with a smile that said that she understands, got up to open the door.

I didn't see who it was when she opened it nor did I care. I was still trying to understand why the God's are so cruel to have decided to punish me so in such a way.

Have I not been faithful to them?

Obeyed all their sacred commandments?

Mayhap...mayhap it's because I selfishly wanted a love that was never meant to burn for me? Whatever their reasons are, I surely did not deserve it.

"Elia", a voice that sounded - to my annoyance - very familiar, called behind me.

Sighs.

And now the Gods see fit to ruin my evening as well.

I turned around from my position on the bed to see Rhaegar. I searched the room for my friend but Ashara was no where in sight. He must have excused her. My eyes then rested on Rhaegar. He looked every bit as a Prince that he was with his black tunic trimmed in gold, and his hair; so silver like the moon, clinging to his neck - a sign that he just bathed and it looked like he didn't bother drying his hair as he pulled on his clothes and hurriedly made his way to see me.

Seeing him there, standing in front of me, erupted so many emotions within me that it entranced me to do something.

To scream at him till I was blue in the face.

To slap and punch till bruises bloomed immediately on his pale flesh.

To scratch and bite till he bleeds in pain.

Anything to show my hurt and pain at what he did to me.

To our children.

My heart clenched at the thought of them and my unborn child. Would they hate me if they knew I felt such hatred towards their father?

That I want the love that I have for him to fade away as soon as possible?

Aegon and the unborn babe will definitely be sheltered from such thoughts as they are too young to understand it but Rhaenys; my dear beautiful Rhaenys. She was quickly growing. Physically and mentally. It would be pointless in hiding anything from her.

The thought of it brought tears to my eyes.

Everything is falling apart and it is all due to the man who was moving towards me in slow but determined steps. He stopped midway though as he saw the tears roll down my cheeks. Great. Now I'm crying. This pregnancy is turning me in to such a mess.

"Elia", my husband Rhaegar said as he came towards me in a full stride, his strong arms gathering me up in an embrace that felt wonderfully warm but wrong at the same time. "My darling Elia". I sobbed even harder at the pathetic position I was in. Why am I crying? I shouldn't be crying. Especially not in his arms.

I wonder; did he hold the Stark girl the same way he was holding me? No. Theirs was more with passion and love than the one we have now.

This.

This is pity. Pity for his plain and fragile wife who is - like his she wolf - pregnant.

That made me see red. I glared at the man that was holding me. How dare he? How dare he, this pale creature of a man, hold me like he really cares for me.

"Let go of me!", I scoffed in anguish and pulled my body out of his embrace of lies and deception and with some strength, pushed him away from me—though it only made him stumble backwards to which he quickly regained his footing through his great reflexes. Though the look in his eyes made my inner self smirk in triumph at the hurt expression he has on his face.

"Elia, please", he implored, his hands reaching out for me. "Will you not forgive me?".

I stared at him as if he had gone mad like his father. "Forgive you?!", I asked half screaming; forgetting for a moment that the children were asleep. "Forgive you? Rhaegar, how could I ever??".

"I know yo—".

"You know nothing Rhaegar", I said—still angry. " Of the pain you have caused me. The love I-I-I...", I inhaled deeply to regain my composure and continued albeit shakily, "—I had to keep safe from you killing it".

He shook his head as he took a step towards me, "Elia, I would never in a million years destroy the love we have for each other, the love I have for you".

"Yes I know", I softly smiled and gazed out to the window.

The wind blowing in time with the sounds of the waves upon the shore; the watery blankets reflecting the moon's glowing sadness upon it's face as if it pained for the heartbroken princess.

For me. "Though it hadn't stopped you from hurting me now did you?".

I continued to gaze at the tragically beautiful scenery as he chose to remain silence. Coward, I inwardly cursed as I turned my gaze to him. He looked so...conflicted.

I cleared my throat, "I know".

He looked at me in confusion. "Know what?".

I glared at him in annoyance, "I know about Dorne". I watched his expression turn from confusion to guilt which made a piece of my heart...die. Soon there will be none left.

He opened his mouth to say something but he couldn't. He was speechless. As if the words failed to come to his aid. That made me all the more upset.

"Dorne, Rhaegar?." I asked, hurt evident in my voice. "Why would you betray me like this?".

"I—It was the only place I could think of at the time. The only place I knew no one would care to look for us there", he replied, his shoulders hung in defeat.

I wiped at the tears that fell freely down my cheeks. "So, not only are you unfaithful to me but you hurt me in the most horrible way as well." I laughed, "I do not know which is worse; you being unfaithful to the love we had I thought was real or you sleeping with the girl on the very sands I grew up on?".

Truly the Gods are cruel.

He flinched at my harsh words. "I...Elia, I-" .

"Did you know I laid in tears in bed all night after you disappeared. Everyday. Till now", I looked at him tearfully, "On some nights, I wondered if you were safe and well. Or if you were dead", I swallowed down the sob that threatened to escape, "On other nights, when I was feeling at my worst, I would think that you found someone else to love. Someone that was not sickly or frail", I stared at him, his dark orbs meeting my yellow ones. "Someone that could give you what you've always wanted".

"Elia, don't. Please", he begged as he took a huge step towards me, sat beside me on the bed and embraced me once more - not caring whether I wanted it or not. "No more my love, I beg you".

"Why? You know I speak the truth", I whispered as my eyes closed, my head underneath his chin.

"I know my darling", he solemnly replied, "But you forget", he said and kissed my hair and my closed eyelids, "I still love you".

I opened my eyes and gently removed my head out from under his chin and looked at him, "You love me...just not in love with me", I stated sadly.

"Darling, I love you", he fiercely proclaimed and hugged me tightly, "Always have, always will".

Tears dripped down my chin. I gazed into his eyes, his indigo orbs meeting my yellow ones . "If you love me, then why'd you leave me?".

He seemed at a loss of words and couldn't answer the question that had been in my head for many moons now. Seeing my opportunity, I gently pushed him away hoping he would let go but he tightened his grip, "Elia, I—".

"Shhhhh", I whispered soothingly and placed a finger on his lips, "Enough, Rhaegar. I am tired. Leave me to rest", I implored, "Please".

He looked conflicted. He didn't want to leave me but seeing the look in my eyes, he conceded. He gripped my finger that was on his lips and intensely stared at me as he kissed it with his warm lips.

The old me would have blushed like a maiden but not now. Not after everything that has passed.

No, instead I smiled. And bowed my head to him. I felt his gaze linger on my head for moment till he released his hold on my finger and got up. I raised my head up and gently lowered myself down to lie down as the sound of the door closed and his footsteps fade away into nothing.

I closed my eyes.

I am Unbent, Unbowed but. . . . .I am very much broken.

And I cried into my pillow, it's softness and thickness swallowing up my tears and cries.

I'm Broken.

So Broken.

Broken.

0000

So...I hope you all are appeased with my peace offering?

Thanks to all those who reviewed before and if you are still with me, thanks again. Reviews are greatly appreciated. The next update will probably come soon. No promises though. But I will try my very best if there is a demand but otherwise, I will take my time as I have other stories to focus on.

Moce (BYE! .)

Closest Translations:

Meri sundar behan - My Dear Sweet Sister.

Main sab mere dil ke saath tumhen yaad hoga - I will miss you with all my heart.

P.S. I really hate what's happening in GoT right now. So I've sworn off of watching it anymore. Saves me from feeling any pain or emotion when it shows the unjust of it all. (I literally cried T_T)

#Rhaegar was a real jerk. Plain and Simple.

Thanks again for reading.