Linctavia Appreciation Week – Day 7: Free Choice

Octavia pants loudly as she rolls her hips into his. Their lips are fused together, and his hands will leave bruises on her waist.

Neither of them cares. Before last night, it had been atleast a week since they last made love. After the war ended, they waited for their battle wounds to heal.

Lincoln tries to focus on lasting long enough so that she can finish before him, but the way her walls clench him makes it nearly impossible. He slips his hand in between them, and she's coming minutes later with him following her.

She stays in his lap, and he presses sweet kisses to her face. He pulls back for a moment to stare into her eyes, but her mind is a million miles away.

"Octavia." His voice is soft and caring, but she doesn't want that. She kisses him with bruising force, battling his tongue and she starts to ride him again.

He groans, but not in pleasure. He holds her down to prevent her from moving. Forcing himself away from her lips, he pushes back her wet hair behind her ears.

"I need a moment," he explains, and she looks displeased. But she moves off him and lays next to him. He's still sitting up in confusion. He looks over to her and sees that her back is to him.

"Octavia," he says more firmly, but she doesn't respond. "We need to talk about this."

"No, we don't." She's stubborn as always, but this isn't an endearing moment. He's scared for her. She's shutting him out, not unlike what he did to her after he came back from being a Reaper.

"So we can fuck, but we can't talk?" he asks. He's been patient, but she's withdrawing from everyone. She hasn't even talked to Bellamy in a few days.

"You had no problem with that a few weeks ago." It's a low blow, and one he deserves. Instead of getting angry, he lays down next to her.

"I get it. I really do. I remember everything I did when I was a Reaper, and I don't want to. I wake up every morning fearing that I hurt you in my sleep. But when I wake up, I see you thrashing around because of your own nightmares. I get that you want to fuck the pain away, and I am more than happy to help you with that. You did it for me, but eventually we need to discuss this."

She can hear that he's talking from the heart, and this might be the most he's ever said at one time to her. They're not exactly a talkative couple. They don't need words to explain how they feel about each other.

"I see their faces. All of them. My brother helped slaughter an entire people. Jasper's broken, and I keep seeing Maya die whenever I close my eyes. I'm scared, Lincoln." She reaches out for his hand, and he takes it immediately and presses a kiss against her skin.

"They did what they had to. The math doesn't add up, but it came down to the people they loved or the people that put them in the situation to begin with. We had allies inside the mountain, but they already gave up their lives. Without us, they would have all died eventually. They were dead the moment they agreed to help us, and they knew that."

His logic makes sense, but it doesn't stop the ache inside her.

"There were children, Lincoln. I saw them. I heard them." Tears slip past her eyes, and her body wracks with sobs.

Lincoln brings her into his arms and cradles. "Hey, it's okay. You feel something. That means you're alive."

His full lips press against her neck with the intention of comforting her. Instead, it reignites the fire in her, and she reaches for him. He's hard in her hands, but she waits.

"I love you," Lincoln whispers before entering her from behind. She bites back a moan as he builds up a rhythm.

Baby steps, he thinks to himself.