A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the "late" update! Thanks to anybody who took the time to read, follow, and favorite my story! Really means a lot to me. Also thanks to k3lev333 who also took the time to review! Also, TBH, I was pretty discontent and disappointed with the first chapter. I felt that it was kinda short and lacking details so this chapter might be on the longer side. Anyway, enough of me rambling, here's the next chapter! Hope you enjoy it! :D
P.S Since second person isn't allowed, I'll have to switch to third person. To be fair, it might work out better. You tell me! I might go back and change the first chapter into third person but I don't really have the time right now. Here's the chapter for real now! :P
"Just go. Jesus Christ, Chloe. I need the fucking think." Beca groaned. She took a few steps towards Chloe and shoved out of her room. All the built up anger and frustration put into the door as she slammed it close. She immediately fell the floor holding her head, trying to control the thoughts that went through her mind a thousand miles an hour as her lips still tingled from the feel of the other woman's lips. She tried to focus and think of something other that the kiss but her thoughts kept on gravitating back to it. Chloe Beale. Out of all the people in the world, it had to be fucking her.
Beca rubbed her eyes, finally realizing that tears had rained down her cheeks as well. She shouldn't be crying should she? I mean she wasn't the one that made a stupid decision, right? She had a clue to why but that idea was unfeasible so she tried to shove it out her head. Her gut wrenched as she replayed the events that occurred in her mind over and over.
The movie finishing. Beca noticing that Chloe was intently staring at her. Beca returned the stare and cracked a joke. Chloe blushing and looking awkward, which was so not like her usual self. Chloe leaning in until their faces were almost touching. And then it. The kiss. It had shocked her so much, she couldn't move. She was paralyzed, unable to pull back from it. A really small part of her kinda enjoyed it, but she turned that part of her off immediately. Beca could feel Chloe lips shift from being nervous, to hesitant, and finally to curiosity as to why Beca didn't pull back.
Beca remembered that when she finally got a hold of herself, she exploded in anger. She pushed away Chloe harshly, way too harshly. Beca didn't know what got into her to create that reaction but that's what she got. She didn't even know if Chloe wanted to talk to her anymore.
Beca wanted to call Chloe to apologize, but her stubborn ego got in the way. She actually came close to texting her a few times, but every time her badass-ery would get in the way and she would just delete her message, intent on not stepping down. It wasn't her fault was it? No, Chloe was the one that kissed her. Chloe brought this on herself, right?
Beca couldn't think straight. The fantastic (fantastic? Wow, what has gotten into her?) taste of Chloe's strawberry lip gloss, still heavily embedded in her head. Deciding to give up on thinking, Beca shut off her laptop and fell onto her bed. She had enough for the day. She began to slowly drift off to sleep but a question kept on popping into her head. Do I-NO, her mind demanded firmly. Maybe I do li-NO. STOP THINKING ABOUT HER, was the last thing she thought before her mind was completely engulfed by sleep.
Beca knew her situation with Chloe was bad, but not this bad. At the Bellas' practice, Chloe's usually optimistic cloud was nothing but a dark storm cloud. Her expression completely changing from being somewhat happy to complete sadness in a matter of milliseconds as she laid her eyes on Beca. Chloe cast her a small sad smile before quickly shuffling away to her position.
When practicing choreography, Chloe never went over to give Beca a hands-on lesson, instead focusing on the other Bellas. Chloe never even gave Beca a intense stare when she thought the younger girl wasn't looking. All the chemistry and usual things Chloe and Beca did together were gone, flushed out the drain by the stupid decisions they both made.
When practice was just about wrapped up and the girls were getting ready to go, Beca was again thinking about the irrational thoughts running rampant through her mind, barely acknowledging what was going on in the real world. Beca didn't have time to move out of the way or even notice a slumped Chloe with her head down, stampeding right at her. Unfortunately, no other Bella seemed to notice or care, as Beca and Chloe slammed right into each other, falling to the ground in a heap of red and brown hair.
"Ow..." Beca groaned while rubbing her head, not knowing what happened. She tilted her head to get a better look of who she tripped on and caught a glimpse of red hair. Great. Chloe. Just when I needed her.
"You guys okay?" Asked an apparently concerned Aubrey.
"Yeah. We're fine." Chloe shot out before Beca managed to squeak anything out. Chloe gave Beca a sad glance and untangled their body parts. Beca swore she saw a wet streak down the older girl's cheek but she couldn't get a good look before Chloe got up and ran off. Usually, if this happened, and this somehow happened a lot, Chloe would just laugh and pull Beca in for a hug, sometimes even going as far as to place a kiss on the younger Bella's forhead. Usually, situations like this were cute but this one was downright sad.
"Sheesh. What's gotten into Red?" Fat Amy cooed.
"Nothing." Beca replied a little to harshly. She could notice the other Bellas wince but decided to shrug it off.
"Beca, don't act like we're deaf, blind, or stupid. We can tell if something's wrong. What happened between you and Chlo?" Stacie said with crossed arms, glaring at Beca. "Just tell us the truth."
"I can't." Beca said while gathering herself.
"Can't or won't? Or just too afraid to tell?" Stacie continued to push. God, she hated how nosy the taller brunette was sometimes.
"Just leave me alone," Beca complained, getting increasingly annoyed at how much the other Bellas were interested in her personal life. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Oh! So something did happen. Beca, spill." Stacie prodded on, a playfully annoying grin on her face.
"Seriously, shut up! Can't you shut up for a second! Jesus Christ..." Beca shouted, causing all the other girls to jump in surprise. "Sorry, didn't mean to be so harsh."
"Huh. Well, I'll let you think about it." Stacie said before turning and walking out of the auditorium, most of the other Bellas soon to follow.
"C'mon, DJ. Cheer up! I know that you want to be together with Chloe, but seriously just cheer up! Just like the time I wrestled two crocs. Almost got my arm bit off before I got my optimism back on. Managed to wrestle five after that. I was the best crocodile in all of Tasmania." Fat Amy blabbered. Beca could feel a blush slowly creep up to her cheeks at the mention of Chloe's name and the context it was used in. Did she like Chloe though? Of course she does, but everybody loves Chloe. She had Jesse, right? She loved him, she couldn't love Chloe. But could she?
"What...uh...what do you mean? Why would I want to be with Chloe?" Beca sputtered out, obviously flustered.
"Hah! I see you staring at her ass and cleavage every practice. You're not so hard to read, Beca." Fat Amy said nonchalantly.
"Uh...no I don't! I have no idea what you're talking about." Beca rambled.
"Please. I know when people have a crush and you definitely do have one on Chloe." Fat Amy laughed. "It's pretty fucking obvious."
"Don't say another word or I tell Aubrey about what you do whenever cardio training goes on. I'll love to see what she'll cook up for you!" Beca threatened, a smile forcing its way onto her face.
"No! No! Please no! I'll shut up! Ah! Vertical running! Vertical running!" Fat Amy shouted in fear as she made her way out of the auditorium. Beca chuckled before gathering her own stuff and left for her dorm room.
Beca heard the phone rang, but she made no attempt to answer it. She wanted a nap, and whenever she wanted a nap, she's going to take a nap. But when the caller, whoever that asshole was, called for like the seventeenth time, she let in and got up to answer the phone. To no surprise, it was Jesse.
"Beca, Beca?" Jesse asked frantically. "Beca? Bec-aw?"
"Yes, Jesse? I'm taking a nap here!" Beca groaned, still half asleep.
"You like you're naps too much. Probably even more than watching movies with your boyfriend." Jesse cheerfully said. Beca had no idea how Jesse managed to stay so cheerful, but she wasn't sure if she should be envious or annoyed.
"Babe, you know I hate movies." Beca said, only beginning to wake up.
"I know. That's why I'm forcing you. Now up, up, up, up, up! We're going to miss it!" Jesse commanded.
"Ugh. Fine. What movie was it again?" Beca questioned, still not completely awake.
"Despicable Me 2," Jesse explained. Beca froze, completely awake now. "I loved the first one so why not see the second?"
"..." Beca was silenced, not able to get any words out as she remembered what happened with Chloe. She felt a strange tugging sensation in her gut that she couldn't explain as she tried to respond, still no words coming out.
"You okay, Beca? Beca? Be-caw?" Jesse asked frantically. Still no words came out of Beca as emotions completely flooded her. Pain, sadness, regret, guilt, longing, love. The hell? Love? Where the fuck did that come from? No, no, wait. Love as in loved her like a sister. Beca could feel tears swelling up in her eyes and throat choked up.
"Uh...I didn't see the first one though," Beca lied, trying to force the memory out of her head. "I might not understand what's happening." Tears were real now, free-falling down her face.
"Doesn't really matter. Cartoon movies are like that, you don't really need to see the first movie to see the second. Just like Transformer Movies." Jesse said, relief pouring into his voice as his girlfriend finally responded.
"Oh. Sure, I guess." Beca responded flatly, trying to cover up the pain she felt.
"Great! Meet you at the theater in ten! Love you!" Jesse said, completely oblivious, before abruptly hanging up.
"Love you too..." Beca whispered right after the conversation had ended. She dropped her phone and fell down to the floor, head clutched in her hands. She was completely sobbing now. The pain was too much for her to handle as she let the tears roll down her face, ruining her makeup, and collecting onto the floor. Love. Love. Love. God, why is life so fucked up?
Beca heard the door creak open but didn't bother to check who it was, knowing it was probably Kimmy Jin. Her guess was correct when she finally looked up to see a curious Kimmy Jin looking down at her.
"Stop crying on the floor, you're making it dirty. Do it on your bed." Kimmy Jin joked as she handed Beca handed her a box of tissues.
"Shut up. Thanks...Thanks for the tissues, though." Beca choked out between sobs. Her roommate snorted before going back to her desk to do whatever she was working on.
As, Beca wiped her eyes and blew her nose, she couldn't help but think how much she missed Chloe, even if it was just a day. She missed Chloe's happiness, laugh, hair, optimism, everything. She needed to talk to the redhead. Sighing, she finally stopped crying and started to get ready. Love. Love. Love. Pain kept on jabbing at her heart (or brain, whatever processes these things.) with that four lettered word. Beca tried to push those thoughts and words out of her head before she got ready to go out with Jesse, but a small bit still got through.
Love.
It stung. A lot.
A/N: Thanks for reading the second chapter! Feel free to leave me reviews and share your thoughts! I'll try to change the first chapter to accommodate the rules better, but that might take a while. Hope you didn't hate this chapter too much! Thanks again!