A Man Like Him…

We are settled into bed, my favorite time of the evening. He lies down, and I settle beside him, using him for my pillow as we both de-stress form our long day. I press close to him, feeling his warmth sooth the aches I gathered throughout my day.

When his arms encircle me tenderly, I wonder how I ever did without this… why I denied myself— and him— this for so long. I am truly home whenever my husband holds me.

As I watch his chest rise and fall in the steady rhythm of his breaths, I smile; listening to his heart beat its own pace. I breathe in his scent, letting his musk fill my senses until I am satisfied. I love the smell of him: hot and sweaty after a workout, his skin glistening with perspiration… or fresh and showered, smelling of the simple soaps he prefers.

His skin, rough and calloused in places, is nevertheless smooth and warm, something I love. His torso— stars, his entire body— defined and toned to perfection as only a Jedi Master's could be, is not excessively broad or tapered… but just right. His muscles are not for show.

My eyes drift upward to his face, and I trace the contours of his visage, from that adorable cleft in his chin to the scars left behind from his time on Hoth. I decide that on any other man, the scars would be defacing. But on my husband, they only add to his character… they make him appear more mature, an outward sign of just one of the many hardships he has faced.

My favorite feature of my husband's face is his beautiful baby blues, framed by locks of sand-colored hair. Those eyes of his, they are the windows to his soul… the one place I can truly read him without the Force. Those eyes have captivated entire crowds, and can go from tender and loving to fierce and dangerous in a heartbeat. Many an enemy has cowered beneath that gaze.

My husband smiles at me when he catches me watching him, and my heart soars. His smile is such an indicator of that good heart I always thought my husband should have. He is a kind, loving soul who would lay down his life for a total stranger… or for me.

I smile back, shifting so I can kiss him. As our lips meet, I relish in the taste of him. I love his kisses; they make my heart flutter, even after two years of marriage.

And when he makes sweet love to me, I have absolutely no doubts that I am the only focus in his mind. He cherishes me, as I recall wanting my 'ideal husband' to. Only, he takes it a step further.

He does not just love me in body and mind… but in spirit. He and I share a connection, so deep and intimate that at times it's hard to tell where the one of us begins, and the other ends. But when I contemplate it further, I am completely okay with that, because it means that we are truly one.

My husband has a witty sense of humor to help him withstand the trials life throws his way in great abundance. Being a Jedi Master requires that of him: the strength of will and character to stay true to oneself no matter what. He also takes my often irreverent humor in stride, but not just that: he runs with it and then he chuckles with me.

His laugh is music to my ears. He has many types of laughs, but it's the one he uses when it's just him and me that I cherish above all others.

When I settle back down, closing my eyes, I recall with a pang that my beloved Jade's Fire is no longer with me. As such, that empty seat at my table forever remained empty. But that's okay, I know, because the table on my new ship— the Jade's Sabre—is never empty… not really.

My husband has filled my heart with light as no one has before, and I wonder if that radiance will ever dim. I hope not. I count on if, far more than I would have admitted in the past.

I know he is not a perfect human being, but he is the perfect husband, in every sense of the word.

A smile graces my lips as I also recall wanting my future husband to be a listener. Well, he has said that he loves our talks, and there have been times when we've stolen moonlight or sunrise walks among the jungles of Yavin IV. Sometimes we don't talk, and don't need to, but others we fill the silence with what some would call meaningless chitchat.

But to us, it is anything but meaningless.

I sigh contentedly, feeling my husband's arms tighten around me in response. My beloved has made me feel loved, wanted and important in a way no one else has ever come close to achieving. He treasures me as he would a rare Kaminoian king oyster's prized pearl. He keeps my confidence without question, and he stands steadfastly by me, even when he knows I am wrong.

He is so proud and happy to call me his wife, and he rarely hides anything from me. Honesty is one of the foundations to our marriage, one we both steadfastly adhere to.

My husband puts me first, and I am above all else in his mind, his life. He would give up his position as the head of the Jedi Order if I asked him to. But I would never. It would change him… break him. And that I would never wish for.

I love him with all my heart, mind and soul: and I know he feels the same. He never hesitates to tell or to show me, whether it be in small or large ways.

If I could go back to that moment in the past and take that survey anew, I know without a shadow of a doubt what my answer would be.

My 'ideal husband' would be Luke Skywalker.

I would settle for nothing less.