There it was again.

That feeling that I just can't articulate with any word in the English language.

"Boss!" I reach his side faster than I thought was possible. "Gonna pull you under cover…"

And so I did.

"Lost him in the crowd boss."

He didn't respond. Just stared at me with those eyes I'd come to know so well over the years. I didn't have any other words to offer so I reached for his hand and watched as the man I idolized, writhed in excruciating pain. But at least he was alive. Until his eyes begged to close…

"Boss!" I suddenly had something to say. "Hey! Boss! Stay with me…!" My decibel rose with each plea but he didn't open them. I let go of his hand as the medics arrived and that feeling came back.

Dread seemed to fit for now.

I leapt into the ambulance beside him, my eyes locked onto his. Begging them to open. I didn't cry. I wanted to. But it wasn't over. "Come on boss…please." I subtly reach between the medics and grab ahold of his limp hand. "Please."

Then they opened.

He squeezed my hand.

That feeling was gone.