Summary: Melinda Qiaolian May has been an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. for most of her life, but all the training in the world could have never prepared her for the challenge she was facing. She had to let go, but when she looked into those soft nut brown eyes, she knew in that moment she would never let go.

Background: First One- shot. Just an idea I'd been playing around with for the past few days and then this happened. Mild Philinda cause I ship it hard. And just thought I'd say, the baby is supposed to be Skye.

Excuse any misspellings and grammar mistakes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or any of the characters used.

Updated: 1/15/17

Hey readers. If you are new to this story, then this message is for you. This story is made up of two seasons. The summary above is meant to describe season one of this story while the first summary seen is meant to describe both seasons overall. Just to clear up any confusion on that. Anyway, hope you enjoy and read through it all. Promise it's worth while.

"You're doing great Agent May."

Melinda Qiaolian May has been an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. for most of her life, but all the training in the world could have never prepared her for the challenge she was facing. For months Melinda had been dreading, but also excited about this day, the day
in which her baby was born.

"Take deep breaths, you're doing fine."

Breathing heavily, Melinda laid propped up on the bed with a cool cloth on her sweaty forehead. By her side was none other than an old friend of hers, a partner and fellow agent by the name of Phillip Coulson. Phil held her hand and she squeezed it as
hard as she possibly could without breaking his hand.

"You can do this Melinda, I know you can," Phil whispered to her.

The past nine months, Phil had been there for her, supporting her and being the friend she needed. Melinda bit her bottom lip hard trying to keep herself from screaming, but the pain was too much and she could not stop the tears blinding her vision. A
sharp contraction took her by surprise and she cried out gripping Phil's hand harder than she ever thought possible.

"Almost there," Phil told her calmly.

An ear piercing scream escaped Melinda's mouth as the tears streamed down her cheeks. For what felt like hours, lasted only a few seconds before Melinda's screams faded and a sharper, higher cry filled the room.

"Yes, beautiful," she heard the doctor say, "It's a girl May. It's a girl."

Melinda closed her eyes, she didn't want to know the gender of the baby. Before she was brought here, she had specifically told the doctors not to tell her the baby's gender. This way she would never know anything about the baby, this way she could let
go of the child without having anything to hold onto. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but knowing she had a girl made her heart ache.

"May," the doctor questioned as he positioned himself behind Phil to look at the exhausted woman.

Melinda closed her eyes and shook her head, "Don't bring the baby any closer," she growled refusing to look at the infant.

She couldn't look at the baby, she couldn't know anything else about the baby she just gave birth to.

"Melinda," Phil said gently, "You know- you know you can still change your mind."

Phil had his blue eyes trained on his partner, willing her to listen to him, willing her to look at him. He knew how difficult this was for her and all he wanted was to make her happy and show her that he was there for her. To show her that he would always
be there for her. The baby continued to cry and the sound broke Melinda's heart, the longer the baby stayed near her, the more she was tempted to hold her.

Melinda bit her bottom lip, squeezing her eyes shut she told Phil hoarsely, "No. I can't be a mother Phil." In his usual smug and calm tone he told her, "I think you can."

She opened her eyes and looked at Phil, "Take the baby out of here," she said sternly willing the tears in her eyes not to fall, "Take the baby Phil and go."

Phil made no sign he was going to do as she asked. This was his last chance to convince Melinda to keep the baby, this was his last chance to help his partner.

"I can't do that May," he told her, "Hold her. Hold her one time Melinda, if not you will regret it. You will regret not holding your baby girl once."

Melinda squeezed her eyes shut again and closing her mouth. She shook her head in response unable to find any words to say without her voice cracking or releasing the sobs threatening to escape. This was too much for her handle, it was too much for her
to take in all at once.

"Melinda, look at me," Phil said to her sternly. He needed her to hear him on this, he needed her to understand and face this,"Just one time" he said to her, "This way when you look back at this, you can say you held your baby once."

Melinda shook her head once again, "Phil," she said hoarsely, "Take the baby and leave."

Phil released May's hand, he stood up and looked at the baby who was still crying, but it was slowly fading away. Phil stared at the infant, her little bright red face as she continued to cry and for a long moment, Phil stood in his spot not willing to
move while he held the child in his arms gently. Phil tore his eyes away from the baby to look at Melinda, her eyes were open, but she was staring at the ceiling still biting her bottom lip. The world seemed none existent to Melinda, the only thing
she could focus on was the cries of her baby.

"May look at her," Phil told her gently, "Hold her one time May. If not you will never forgive yourself for not holding her, for not looking into her eyes."

Melinda felt something snap in her, she wanted to hold the baby, but knew that she couldn't. She knew if she held that baby crying in Phil's arms her world would be forever changed and that was not something she was ready for. This was not something Melinda
was sure she could handle.

"I can't," Melinda told Phil through gritted teeth.

"Tell me why," Phil demanded, "Why can't you hold her once May."

"Because I know if I hold her I won't be able to let her go," Melinda cried.

She looked at Phil with pained glossy brown eyes. She knew if she held her child, she would never be able to let the child go and she needed to let go. Melinda couldn't be a mother, she needed to do what was best for her daughter and what was best for
herself.

Phil only smiled at her, "Is that such a bad thing," he asked her taking a step closer to her bedside.

Melinda looked at Phil nervously, her eyes drifting to the child in his arms, "Phil..." she whispered, "I can't."

"Hold out your arms," Phil instructed in a gentle, but stern tone.

Melinda stared at Phil, but did as he asked and watched as he lowered the infant into her shaky arms. Once in her arms, the little girl stopped crying almost immediately and opened her little eyelids to reveal soft nut brown eyes. As soon as Phil released
the baby, Melinda pulled her daughter closer unable to look away from the little infant in her arms. Melinda stared into the baby's eyes and could no longer hold back the sobs that had been welling up in her throat. This was her baby. This was her
baby girl, her daughter.

A smile broke onto her face, she laughed as the tears fell down her cheeks. "Hello," Melinda said softly to the baby with a watery smile, "It's nice to meet you…"

Melinda's breath caught in her throat. The idea of letting this baby go and allowing someone else to take her was enough to break Melinda's heart, but now the idea seemed to destroy her. And she knew in that moment, looking down into the baby's brown
eyes she was going to keep her baby.

Melinda brought the baby closer to her face and whispered, "I will never let you go."

Phil rested his hand on Melinda's shoulder as she pressed her lips to the baby's forehead, knowing she would do anything and everything in her power to keep the baby safe and to never let go.