Author's note: So this is officialy my first fanfiction ever! I'm putting a lot of effort into this! Hope you enjoy!

Please excuse any grammar, syntax or spelling mistakes!

Chapter One: Three words

- You think you're so great huh? You think you're better than us? But of course, how could I ever forget, it's Mr. "Perfect Leader" we're talkin about, right? Always right, alway…

- Raph...

-No, let me tell ya somethin Fearless: You do not OWN me. Ya can't be telling me what to do, what not to do, what…

- Raph.

-… WAS STUPID OF ME, and what was not…
- Raph!
-… So drop that highty mighty attitude, because it doesn't suit ya at all! Sometimes your arrogance and selfishness are so unbelievably disgusting that I want to…
- RAPH!
The red banded turtle looked surprised at his blue banded brother who was feeling the fresh pain of smacking his brother on his fists. Leonardo, then spoke:
"How dare you, YOU, of all people speak of selfishness! Do you ever think of any of us when you recklessly run into battles, just because you want to "bust some heads"? Do you ever think of how we feel, whenever you come home all beaten up, and still refuse to let us take care of your wounds? Do you ever... Oh God, you know what?" the furious now Leonardo exclaimed. "I… WE 've had enough of you! Just LEAVE already! Stop being a burden to your family! Do you have any idea how much better it would be for all of us, not having to worry about you ALL THE FREAKING TIME? JUST LEAVE! DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT ANY OF US? I HATE IT! I HATE YOU!"
Nothing, not the insults, not all he was being blamed for, not anything, had ever hurt Raphael more than the last three words out of his own brother's mouth. His eyes went wide when he heard them, but he immediately calmed down and wishpered, loudly enough however, for all of them to hear: "I'm glad you finaly express yourself freely, bro. Don't worry guys," he turned to everyone smiling, "you won't have to put up with my existance anymore. I'm so sorry…for everything." he said, as he fled.
Everyone was frozen, devastated, so noone tried to stop him.

LEO'S POV

After Raphael left, it took me a while to proccess all that had happened. The fight started with me lecturing him for being late and coming back injured, as usual. I told him it was stupid of him to stay out so late, just as usual. Had I known how it would end up I would never have... But most importantly, the last glance I was able to get from my brother had terrified me. Instead of the expected fire of anger, that he should justifiably feel, after everything I told him, what I saw in his electric green eyes was hurt and...remorse? But it was only after I turned for support to my brothers, that I realised how horrible my words had been. They stared at me, terrified, petrified, unable to believe what I, the never-failing leader, the always-there elder brother, had just done. "G…Guys?" I asked, but their looks didn't change. I felt my eyes watery, but luckily enough, Master Splinter's soothing voice was caught by my ears.

MASTER SPLINTER'S POV

I was meditating in the dojo, when I heard yelling from inside. Why again? What will it take to get my hot-headed son to control his temper? I'm tired of all this anger issues tale, as I have tried everything I could think of with him, but he stubbornely refuses to make any, even slight improvement. It is almost as if he does not want to control his anger. But I guess it's the easiest excuse for everything, my son can always shift the blame to his temper and never take full responsibility of his own actions. As I heard my elder son shouting back, I sighed. Not only does Raphael disturb the peace in the lair, but he also pushes Leonardo, the one I chose as the leader of the clan, to his limits, dragging him at his own level. Raphael has the extremely dangerous ability of being able to drive anyone crazy. Even I, sometimes find it difficult to keep myself from losing control because of him. The sudden silence took me away from my thoughts. It was almost too silent, obviously something was wrong. As I entered the room they were in, I saw the fear on my younger sons' faces and the tears my elder son was at the verge of letting go.

MIKEY'S POV

"What seems to be the problem my sons?" I heard Master Splinter's deep voice. Since none of my brothers would react, I first snapped out of my thoughts and I, yeah, me, little Mikey, took charge of the situation. "You see Master Splinter, Leo and Raph went craaaazy!" I said, obviously failing at fixing the dead-heavy atmosphere. If there is something that really can't stand it's these kind of serious-heavy atmospheres. "They started quibbling over unnecessary stuff as usual, but then Raph started insulting Leo and Leo…" I stopped, not knowing how to continue. A few moments of silence passed.
"It is all my fault Sensei." Leo suddenely said. "I lost control and said things I never meant to. I hit him, I hit Raph, my little brother! I told him he was a burden to the family, that we're better off without him and that I…that I hate him!" Leo exclaimed. "Now he's gone, probably forever and I can't do anything about it other than saying that it is my fault!" I saw the fear on Leo's eyes and felt like I had just been stabbed. My big brother, the one who has supported me numerous times before, is panicked and I can't do anything to help him!

DONNIE'S POV

I do not understand Sensei's way of thinking. This was not one of the "normal" fights between Leo and Raph. The latter was not outraged when he left, he was hurt and determined not to come back, so "waiting if he returns" is just a waste of time, let alone, every hour passing, Raph gets farther and farther away from us. And what if he runs into trouble again? At his psychological condition, he might not be able to defend himself. Who knows what could happen, what could have already happened, what could now be happening to my brother! No, I need to stop. I, at least, need to stay calm. But it has been hours, so many frustratingly long hours and my mind can't keep up with it. Apparently, neither can Leo's, who outraged, left the room and went to… wait, what does he want there?

LEO'S POV

I can't stand this anymore. It is like, 4 a.m. and we are still here! Sitting at the room, doing nothing, while it is all my fault, is killing me! I decide to go to the only place I wish my brother were right now, asleep, and that is his bedroom. I enter it and suddenly realise, how long it has been since I last were there. I feel the rage growing inside me as I wonder: What is it that took away my brother? What have I done wrong?"
"GOD DAMMIT!"
All the books fall off the bookcase, from the power of that fist. They will cause me quite a lot bruises, how am I going to explain these to Donnie? Great, just great! However, what catches my attention is a bunch of blue notebooks, which were at the back of the bookcase, as if they had been hidden. I open the last one and read:

" Tuday the gais wer plaing a new video geim. Maiki was rili good, Doni lafed and Leo was…"

I close the notebook immidiately. Raph has been keeping a diary? Well that was unexpected. And seeing the bunch of notebooks, it hadn't just been a childhood phase. Is it right for me to intrude into his privacy, to trespass a line of his life in order to learn the truth about my brother? With the previous questions still in my mind and feeling my curiosity growing, I took the notebook back, determined to see a young Raphael grow to what he has become today.

Sooooo... that's it so far! Any thoughts? Reviews would be very encouraging! Thank's a lot!