A/N: So, back in 2009, I wrote a Devil Wears Prada/Harry Potter crossover-but-not-really where I applied HP rules to an American setting – the basic idea is that wizards are real, but the Harry Potter novels are censored for Muggles. So wizards are all irritatingly self-referential and all the trappings of modern culture are retained (like, wizards know about the Internet and stuff). I'm borrowing that universe here, because I was always fond of it. And girls with wands are aca-hot.

Summary: Beca Mitchell plans to rule the wizarding music scene, but her stupid Muggle dad is insisting that she go to college. Well, at least Barden University has a halfway decent Defense Against the Dark Arts program. It also has the world's most annoying-but-compelling redhead, and Beca's not entirely sure how she feels about that. Not so much an HP crossover as an HP infusion.

Rating: This story contains bad language, clear misuse of Harry Potter references, and allusions to sexy funtimes between the ladies. Rate accordingly.

Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize is mine.

I Put a Spell on You
by: Hayseed

Chapter One

"This is gonna be so cool, Becs," Jesse said excitedly, strumming an air guitar as he thrashed around in his seat like an epileptic.

"You're a weirdo, and I'm ashamed to be seen with you in any public setting," Beca replied in her flattest deadpan.

He grinned, completely unfazed by her harsh words. "Come on, Sparks, it's the first day of the rest of our lives! You can't tell me you're not a little excited."

Frowning, she crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not a little excited. My excitement exists purely on a negative scale."

Jesse rolled his eyes. "Look, Beca," he said, finally (finally!) serious, "I know your dad is basically acting like a dick—"

"Jesse!" his mother reprimanded from the front seat. "Watch your language!"

"Well, he is," Jesse protested. Beca permitted herself a small smile but remained silent. "Anyway, Sparks, I know you want to be out in L.A., tearing it up with, like, the Weird Sisters and Two Kneazles, but I'm just so glad that you're gonna be my college buddy."

With a groan, she buried her face in her hands. "Swanson, even when you're trying to be cool, you're the lamest dude in the effing multiverse! The Weird Sisters? They haven't had a hit in, like, twenty years."

"Neither has the Beastie Boys," he pointed out reasonably, "and they're still awesome, yeah?"

Beca looked up at him with a narrowed gaze. "You're skating on thin ice, but I'll allow it."

"That's my Sparks!" he cried, punching her shoulder for good measure. "We're totally going to rule the school, you know."

"Right," she said, unconvinced.

"So…" Beca said awkwardly, slinging her laptop bag over her shoulder. "Thanks for letting me ride with you guys. You know how my mom is about cars."

Jesse's dad offered her a fond smile. "Any time, Beca. Do you need help with your bags?"

She picked up her duffle and gave it a shake. "This is it. My grandma gave me a Bottomless Bag for graduation. It's handy, once you get the hang of the charm. I'm okay on my own."

"Well, have fun, dear," Jesse's mom told her, leaning down to give her a brief hug. "And keep our boy out of trouble, do you hear?"

Beca and Jesse exchanged grins. "I'll try, Mrs. Swanson, but he's kind of a selective listener, you know? I mean, the superglue thing last year—"

"Wasn't my fault," Jesse interrupted. "That was all you. Now the thing with the cat in our sophomore year…"

She nodded. "That was totally you, dude."

His smile was beatific. "It earned me my first make-out session with the very, very sexy Paige Carlin. The detention was worth it. And the cat wasn't hurt at all."

Both of his parents looked uncomfortable enough that Beca decided now was the perfect time to take her leave. "Thanks again, Mr. and Mrs. Swanson," she said. "Drive safe."

"Baker Hall," she told the green-shirted girl, hating the nerves in her voice.

Why hadn't she stayed with Jesse's family? Jesse was in the same dorm, for Christ sake.

But Jesse deserved his own college experience, and it wasn't fair for Beca's pissy attitude to spoil it. He'd been a good sport this entire summer as she and her father had gone back and forth over the whole Barden Issue (it totally deserved capital letters, after all the shouting she'd done about it), and she wasn't going to keep dragging him down.

The girl raised an eyebrow. "Baker, huh? Well, in that case, all you need is your official BU rape whistle. Baker girls get red ones," she said with a wink and a smile, handing her a shiny silver whistle on a red lanyard.

The tingle of magic in Beca's hand the instant she grabbed it told her she was holding a Portkey and she returned the girl's smile. "Thanks," she said neutrally.

"Head to the left, please," the girl replied. "There's a wooded area for transportation. I hope you didn't eat a big lunch."

"What?" Beca asked, alarmed.

The girl's smile was wide and mischievous. "You'll see."

She'd never crossed wards by Portkey before and was sufficiently taken back by the experience that she dropped her duffel and staggered a few steps before she could recover her cool. But once she opened her eyes, she saw that she wasn't the only one. A couple of kids were sprawled on the floor, and one tall girl was standing red-cheeked beside a puddle of puke.

"Wow…" Beca muttered to herself.

One of the kids on the floor – a pudgy blonde – laughed at her. "That was amazing, wasn't it?"

Beca blinked. "Not the word I would have chosen."

"It's a good omen. I totally saw it in my star chart last night," she continued, and Beca bit back a sigh. Divination wasn't… a total waste of time. But it was close.

"Well…" Beca drawled. "Gotta find my room. See you around."

The blonde laughed again. "I'm enjoying the floor right now. I'm sure I'll see you at practice, DJ girl."

She froze and the blonde offered her a wink.

"You'll see," she said. "I'm always right. I'm the best Seer in Tasmania."

Fuck. Beca hated prophecy.

"So…" Jesse drawled, looking around her tiny dorm room with – bless him – only limited skepticism.

"Jesse," Beca said brightly, gritting her teeth, "meet my roommate. Kimmy Jin, this is Jesse. He and I went to high school together."

Because he was a genuinely friendly person, despite being friends with someone like Beca, Jesse stepped toward Kimmy Jin with an open smile and an outstretched hand. "I'm pleased to—"

"Don't," Kimmy Jin snapped, giving him a dark glare.

He shot Beca a surprised look. "Wow, Sparks. You weren't kidding."

"This is so thrilling," Jesse's roommate said, giving his cape a swirl for good measure. "I mean, look at us – we're mingling with actual Muggles!"

Beca raised an eyebrow at his antics. "I wouldn't say mingling," she told him dryly. "In fact, I'd say that people are staring at us."

And they were. It wasn't too bad yet, but the roommate's cape and suit (complete with embarrassing suspenders and spats – honest-to-God spats!) were attracting some curious looks. It was only going to get worse from here on out.

In the three hours since Jesse's parents had left, she'd managed to set up her laptop and mixing board (and stare forlornly in the bathroom mirror at what she was pretty sure was stress acne sprouting up on her chin) before Jesse interrupted her to meet her potentially-evil roommate, told her about some weird Activities Fair that he wasn't letting her skip, and dragged her away to meet his own roommate.

Who apparently had spent his entire childhood in a basement with no access to any information published after about 1937.

"It's the suit," the roommate said proudly. "Mother said I needed to wear my best one, so I could impress everyone my first day on campus. I knew people would like it."

Her mouth fell open and even easy-going Jesse smothered a laugh. "Dude, are you for real?" she asked, unable to help herself. "It's like you're an actual character from Harry Potter. You're gonna get an Obs squad called on us."

She'd never had to deal with an Obliviate Squad – government wizards who showed up whenever there were displays of inappropriate magic in front of Muggles – but if this kid got through the next twenty-four hours without needing one, it would be a minor miracle.

The roommate's expression fell. "I – am I not? Oh, no," he cried, swirling his cape around so he could use it to cover his face in the most hilariously overdramatic gesture she'd ever seen. "Father said this would happen!"

Jesse gave her a dirty look, and Beca felt immediately ashamed. "Look…" she said as gently as she could, reaching out to place a hesitant hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, okay. It's just… haven't you been around Muggles before?"

He uncovered his face, revealing eyes brimming with tears and Beca hated herself a little bit in that moment. "My parents don't believe in formal education," he said. "I've always had private tutors, as if Applebaums are too good for anything else." With a little sniffle, he swiped his cape across his nose. "I just… I'm so tired of having to pretend that wizards are better than Muggles and we shouldn't mix with them. They're so mad that I wanted to come here to Barden, but I wanted to… it's so stupid."

"Can't disagree with that," Beca said, hoping it was enough.

Clapping a hearty hand on his shoulder, Jesse shook his head. "Don't worry about it, Benji. You'll get the hang of this stuff, although can I make a small suggestion?"

The roommate – Benji, Beca told herself, his name is Benji – gave him a watery smile. "Sure."

"Let's lose the cape, at least. It's totally cool in Baker, but maybe not out here, quite yet."

"But the cape is cool…"

The corner of Jesse's mouth twitched. "It is," he agreed, ignoring Beca's look of wide-eyed incredulity, "but it might be too cool for the Activities Fair. Know what I mean?"

Benji appeared to be thinking about it. "Maybe you're right," he finally said. "I better keep my best stuff for later. That way, people will be even more impressed."

"Oh, my God, Chloe," Aubrey moaned. "I can't believe you!"

She dropped her handful of Bellas flyers and rolled her eyes. "It's not like I can help it, Bree."

"This was a brand-new phone. And look at it!"

Well, okay, so it was pretty bad. Aubrey's shiny new whatever-phone (Chloe paid no attention to Muggle brands) was currently a misshapen lump of silvery metal that emitted a few half-hearted sparks every now and again. "Aubrey, I'm sorry, okay?" she said in a rush. "But we totally have bigger problems to worry about. If we don't recruit some—"

"You owe me seven hundred bucks!" Aubrey shrieked in a shrill tone. Her eyes widened in rage, and Chloe was pretty sure she was about thirty seconds from puking.

Damage control, then.

"After the fair, we'll go to the store, and I'll—"

"You can't go in an electronics store," Aubrey interrupted loudly. "You'll wreck everything there, you fr—"

"Hello," a male voice said in a desperate sort of way, cutting Aubrey's raving off rather effectively.

Which was so incredibly good that Chloe almost launched herself across the table in gratitude. She was pretty sure Aubrey was about to call her a freak, which would probably lead to the same hair-pulling fight that it had the last time she'd done it when they were nine and Chloe accidentally turned Aubrey's hair neon purple.

Well. Sort-of-accidentally.

The boy was continuing to talk. "So what are the Barden Bellas?" he asked good-naturedly. "Other than stunningly attractive, of course." He tipped Aubrey a wink and her lips curled in a sneer.

"We're busy," she told him dismissively. "Chloe—"

"Way to recruit new members," a sarcastic voice piped up. "Great sales pitch."

But Chloe wasn't listening to what the voice was saying. Instead, she heard the smoothness of the tone, the rich vowels. This girl, whoever she was, was a singer. She looked up from Aubrey's still-smoldering phone to take in the messy hair and dark makeup. Not a Bella in any way, but somehow, Chloe didn't care. Like she'd told Aubrey before she'd blown out the phone, they needed singers if they wanted to win the ICCAs.

Before she could second-guess herself, her clipboard was in her hands, and she was shoving a flyer forward. "The Barden Bellas are the awesomest a capella group on campus," she said brightly.

"A capella? Like, no instruments?"

She nodded. "We make all the music with our mouths."

The boy snickered, but the girl (who also appeared to have multiple piercings in each ear, now that Chloe looked more closely at her) simply smiled. "Huh. I didn't know that was a thing."

There was a second boy, dressed for some odd reason in a suit that looked like one she'd seen in an antique shop before, and he suddenly perked up, staring across the quad. "Oh, my goodness, is that a Quidditch game over there? But why are they on the ground? Don't their broomsticks fly?"

The exasperation on the girl's face was obvious. "For Christ sake, Benji," she grumbled, rolling her eyes.

"And I don't see a Snitch anywhere," he continued. "Are they Muggles?Beca, Jesse, you didn't tell me that Muggles play Quidditch! Although they're not doing it very well. Maybe I should help them."

The girl – Beca? – offered Chloe and Aubrey a weak smile. "You know Harry Potter fans," she said with a nervous laugh, scratching at a few spots on her chin that Chloe noticed were slowly turning a bright orange. "All that… um, role-playing and stuff."

In response, Chloe just held up Aubrey's trashed phone. "It's okay," she said. "I'm a role-player, too."

Beca's eyes rounded. "Jeez, you really did a number on that one, huh?"

"Yes, she did," Aubrey said prissily, giving Chloe yet another nasty glare. "And some of us don't have fancy magic-y connections to get our electronics fixed when stupid wizards blow them out."

The boy called Jesse leaned across the table and took the phone out of Chloe's hand. "Do you want me to fix it? I can totally fix it for you, like for reals."

After a pause, Aubrey just rolled her eyes. "Whatever. It's not like I can take it back to the store to get it fixed. I don't think 'destruction by magic' is covered by the warranty."

Chloe hung her head. "Aubrey, I'm so—"

"You're being kind of a bitch," Beca interrupted, giving Aubrey a hard glare. "It's totally not her fault, dude. Do you, like, have something against magic?"

Which was a question that Chloe had often been afraid to ask Aubrey. It was delicate. She'd known Aubrey for as long as she could remember, and when Chloe had learned she was a witch, she'd been so afraid to tell Aubrey because she didn't want to lose her friend. Aubrey had appeared to take it in stride, even when Chloe went away to boarding school for her magical education, but every now and again…

"No," Aubrey said, matching Beca glare for glare. "I do have something against little goth wannabe midgets that think they can judge me after meeting me for all of two minutes, though."

"Hey, hey," Jesse said reasonably. "Let's not do… whatever it is you're doing. Look, Beca, everything's chill. There's no Obs squad in sight, Benji knows he's not supposed to talk about real Quidditch with Muggles, and I'm going to fix a beautiful girl's phone for her so that she can go back to being good friends with the ginger witch who makes music with her mouth. See what an awesome summary that is? I should totally do movie trailers, right?"

Throughout Jesse's odd speech, Chloe watched Aubrey turn bright red and Beca turn ghost pale. "I am so embarrassed that I know you right now," Beca gritted out. "What is wrong with you, Jesse?"

Beside her, Aubrey shifted and Chloe could tell that she'd made her mind up about something. "You can bring my phone to auditions next month," Aubrey said in a tone brooking zero argument. "After wasting our time and potentially driving off other candidates like this, the least you can do is audition. All of you. I'll use my old phone while I wait."

Beca smirked and handed the flyer she'd been holding this whole time back. "Sorry," she said nonchalantly. "I don't sing. Catch you ladies later."

Chloe swallowed down her nerves and hesitantly knocked on the door, swirling the contents of the glass bottle in an old habit she thought she'd broken years ago.

It cracked open. "What?" a surly voice asked.

"Uh," she said, clearing her throat. "I'm looking for Beca. My friend is the RA for this hall, and she said—"

The door swung all the way open to reveal a glowering Asian girl. "Beca," she spat, "you have company."

There was a shuffle of paper and fabric and the girl from the Activities Fair popped into view, surprise written all over her face. "Um, wow," she said inelegantly.

"Hey," Chloe replied nervously. "I hope I'm not bothering you."

"You are," the Asian said flatly.

Beca rolled her eyes. "I'll catch up with you later, Kimmy Jin," she said in a chirpy voice that Chloe suspected was uncharacteristic in all ways before stepping out into the hallway and closing the door. "I really think I won the roommate lottery," she told Chloe with a smirk.

Shyly, Chloe returned the smirk with a smile. "She seems—"

"Scary," Beca said, shrugging. "I think she's planning to smother me in my sleep tonight. I plan on foiling her by staying up all night and playing really loud music. We're gonna be great friends."

"I can tell," Chloe replied with a small giggle. "Anyway, I hope you don't mind me stalking you a little."

"You met the weirdos I hang out with," Beca pointed out. "A stalker is a breath of fresh air compared to a pureblooded kid who actually doesn't know what light switches are for."

"I wanted to apologize about Aubrey, earlier," she said before she lost her nerve. "She's not usually like that, and I really do appreciate your friend offering to fix her phone. It's just… I've been so worried about what's going to happen to the Bellas if we don't get some really awesome recruits. Normally I have a better grip on myself than that."

She couldn't read Beca's expression. It wasn't angry, but it wasn't what she'd call happy either. "It's okay. It's not like I've never been stressed before. We've all blown up lots of stuff, right?"

Her stomach promptly tied itself into knots. "I also wanted to give you this," she said, holding up the glass bottle.

"What is it?" Beca raised an eyebrow as she reached out to take it.

"It's… well, it doesn't have a name. It's a topical for those spots," Chloe said in a rush, horribly aware of how much she was overstepping the personal boundaries of a girl who was basically a stranger.

The expression remained absolutely unreadable.

"I don't know what they're called, but I get them too," she said. "Like, all the time, when I'm stressed. And if you put that," pointing at the bottle, "on them over night, they'll be gone in the morning. In fact…" Here, Chloe forced herself to laugh a little. "You should have seen me last night. I was practically covered in them. And they only get more orange if you don't do anything to get rid of them. In high school, I ended up in the infirmary for, like, two weeks because I looked like I'd been hit with a can of spray paint."

"I thought it was just a couple of zits," Beca admitted. "Thanks. Where do you get this stuff, then? 'Cause I'm guessing I'll need more, if they come from stress."

"I, um, I make it for myself," Chloe said quietly. "It's no big deal, really."

Beca's surprise was obvious. "That's totally a big deal, dude. I can't – thanks," she said again.

They stared at each other for a few moments, and Chloe idly wondered what it was about this girl that she found so… whatever. Like she was tongue-tied and excited all at the same time. She'd never had such an irrational urge to give someone a hug in her entire life. "What's your last name?" she heard herself asking.

Beca blinked slowly. "What?"

"I heard your friend call you Beca, but I don't know your last name. If we're going to be friends, I should know it."

She cracked a small smile. "I don't know. I don't even know your first name."

Chloe's laugh was bright and happy. "My name is Chloe. Chloe Beale, Potions student and Barden Bella co-captain. And you are…?"

"Beca Mitchell, freshman nobody," she said with another one of those smirks. "Captain of absolutely nothing."

Her (top-of-the-line with magic-shielded electronics, available at the finest wizard retailers) cell suddenly rang, ringtone loud and harsh in the relatively quiet hallway. Apologetically, she dug it out of her pocket. "It's Aubrey," she said with a sigh. "It's probably important. She normally texts."

Beca flapped a hand. "It's cool. I promised Jesse and Benji I would go listen to them practice their audition routines. Your friend was apparently terrifyingly good at convincing them to audition for your musical mouth thing. I'll see you later, Chloe Beale."

She laughed. "Count on it, Beca Mitchell."

TBC