Hi everyone... Sorry is where I should begin - I know what it's like to find and read a story you love and the feelings you have when it never gets finished... I hate those feelings and I don't want my readers to also have those.

Next, I can't believe it's been almost 3 years since I've last updated (I swore it was a year and a half / 2 max... which sheds some light on how fast time has passed)... this chapter was started over 2 years ago and I'm not even sure where I'm going with this, so bear with me.

Thirdly, I hope everyone is staying safe during the virus and taking the necessary precautions to be safe and healthy. Like many, I'm working from home and have a lot more free time as everything is closed down... thus I turned back to FF and realized I used to be one of those writers and I should finish some of my stories that I still recieve wonderful messages and reviews about.

I know a lot of you have been wanting an ending to this story and I'm going to finish it... I promise, starting with this chapter.

Lastly, before I begin, I cannot start this chapter without thanking each and every one of my readers and reviewers. You all are truly incredible and very loyal. Your continuous reviews over the past 3 years has kept me going. Without you, I would not be finishing this story. So thank you:

DoesItMatter77, Guest, Guest, Guest, Guest, Reminicing101, Iamfalcondude82, Muri, Guest, Guest, Reads, Ash813, Muri(who reviewed twice to encourage me to finish this- so I love you is warranted), Lasting Violet, , MadamoiselleEtincelle, Guest, (who also reviewed twice - I love you too), xxxMusarockz, Smilez014, and styleiscoming.

As promised in the last chapter, there is a time jump with this story (a year and half).

Chapter XVIII

To say a lot had changed over the past year and a half was a sole understatement. Musa had went from the lowest, self-cataclystic, point of her life to a rejuvenated, mindfull, free soul. Three weeks following Christmas and the Harrington snafu, she quickly (so she wouldn't think too much into it and change her mind and lets be honest, she was feeling a bit spiteful) exchanged the plane ticket Riven gifted her as a Christmas present to come visit him to a one-way (no looking back - ha, take that Riven) first-class ticket to Northern Europe, where she started a soul-searching mission. It was her modern rendition of Eat, Pray, Love. If it worked for Julia Robert's character, then it certainly could work for her, right?

She had taken Stella's literal advice and discovered that time away from Gardenia was exactly what she needed. If she hadn't taken the advice literally, she would have spent months of solitude in her apartment moping around, wasting away her valuable time and energy, and wondering the inescapable "what if." Surprising everyone, including herself, she spent a year and a half traveling around the world: filling her days by cooking with the locals in Italy and sipping on glasses of exclusive Barlo made from the Nebblio grapes; hiking mountains in Iceland and relaxing in hot lagoons to heal her sore muscles; playing classical music in Paris and touring the Louvre; and drinking wheat beers with both locals and travelers in Germany.

The more she stepped outside of her comfort zone, the more she found herself to be healing from the pent up heartache and frustrations from the past few years... in ways she never even imagined possible. Despite the plights she had worked so hard to absolve or even bypass, she couldn't rid herself of the small, nagging, creeping thought that something felt missing... it was familiar ache in her chest; an ache that would arise when she would think of him.

The airline attendant's voice echoed across the plane, drawing Musa from her recollecting thoughts and reflections. "Thank you again for flying with our Air France Family and we hope to have you on board with us again soon."

Figures shuffled around Musa, grabbing their belongings, stretching their tired and cramp limbs, while slowly pushing themselves out of their seats. The passenger's journeys were either beginning or ending, and for Musa, she wasn't sure if hers was beginning or ending. She couldn't shake the uncertainty that filled her stomach and fueled her anxieties.

Following in suit, Musa grabbed her satchel beneath the seat, gathered her thoughts, and smoothed out the bottom of her cotton shirt before exiting the aircraft. She weaved her way through the airport, traversing through immigration and customs (not without answering a ton of questions being fired at her and her whereabouts), and found herself exiting security. Her eyes glanced through the crowds of people, largely families welcoming each other back with hugs, kisses, and some tears.

The most touching of all was her favorite family waiting for her at the foot of the escalators.

"Musa, hey," Stella's familiar, yet naturally warm voice shouted over the masses of people, proudly holding up a sign that read "WELCOME HOME MUSA PENNINGTON" in large block letters.

Fervently, Musa grinned and started running down the escalator stairs, pushing through people while mumbling her not-so-apologies. Normally she'd be empathetic, but today she did not care... especially when her habits had been tailored around the European hustle and bustle. So many times she had to shove through people to make the trams and no one batted an eye for they understood the woes of travel.

"Hey you," Musa smiled, feeling Stella's arms engulf her. They hugged onto each other, laughing and smiling, mumbling "I missed you so much" to each other over and over again. It really was a dream to be with her closest friend again.

"Oh my gosh, your hair," Stella grabbed the ends of it, examining it as she twirled the strands around her fingers. "It's so long and healthy, I love it."

Musa grabbed ahold of her friend's forearm, nearly spinning her around in excitement. "No look at you-I love your bayalage. You look wonderful and well-rested for having a baby not too long ago." Crouching down, she saw a one year old. "And who might this cutie be."

"This is your new goddaughter, Summer, Alynn " Stella and Brandon shared equal grins and watched Musa's face transform into shock.

"No way? Me? Are you sure? God, I love her so much already," Musa shouted, not sure if she had heard them correctly.

"It was only fit you know; she has your temper and indecisiveness. You're just a little late in meeting her," Stella playfully scowled.

Musa swatted her hands at Stella, staring into the baby's eyes longer and holding her finger. "Hi, my sweet goddaughter. She's got your eyes, Brandon. And she's got your hair, Stel. Oh, what a cutie. I'm just so excited to finally meet you in person. I've heard so much about you and seen so many photos."

Summer reached out her hands and grabbed Musa's finger and slowly, a small smile formed on her face. "I think my heart just melted and I think I died," Musa referenced to the small human.

"Amazing how they manage to do that." Brandon smiled, still in awe of how he and Stella created that tiny human together.

"Here let me get that," Brandon snatched Musa's suitcase out of her hands as Stella swung her arm over Musa's shoulder. "So, you have a lot to tell us! I haven't seen you since that night you frantically showed up at my house, mumbling you were terminating your lease, throwing all of your things into storage, and leaving two days later on a one-way flight and didn't know you were going to return."

"Oh yeah," Musa laughed nervously and then frowned... she hated thinking about how she felt that night: scared, anxious, and weirdly, a bit excited. "That was so long ago. I almost don't even recognize those moments in my life. Well, maybe I don't want to remember, I'm not sure"

"Well you can tell us over breakfast, because we are starved," Brandon patted his stomach as it growled. "And it's all your fault."

"Well... that's quite rude," Musa raised her eyebrows at Brandon.

"I told him he wasn't allowed to eat breakfast this morning since we were meeting you and going out for breakfast."

"And because of you, I'm starved," Brandon playfull scowled while ushering everyone along towards the car.

"Smart decision. Because after that red-eye flight I am STARVED!"

"But first, before you dive into the depths of your internal despair and demise, you must tell us about how your trip went because that's more exciting and relevant. AND WE EAT before Brandon over here collapses." Stella laughed on cue along with both Musa and Brandon.

...

Digging at her hashbrowns, Musa finished her story with how she rekindled her love for music as she played music in a piano bar short of the Eiffel Tower. "The owner offered me 200 Euros if I could play for two hours. Fortunate for me and unfortunate for their pianist-he got last minute food poisoning. I forgot how much I had loved playing and how good I actually am at the Piano. Those lessons growing up really paid off."

"What... spend... euros..." Brandon asked, mouth full of eggs, ignoring the look of disgust his wife was throwing him.

Translating the garble, Musa replied, "Oh, I don't know. I'm sure I bought cocktails and cheese, honestly. Maybe used it to dance my way through a club or two."

"Money well spent!" Her counterpart echoed.

...

"So that day you came to my apartment looking for me," Musa twiddled her thumbs nervously, recalling where she was, what she was doing, and her conversations. "I was in a really low place. I just needed some clarity and I wasn't going to find that laying in bed, watching rom-coms for three weeks straight. Mind you, I did notice there were some common tropes between those films and could predict every plot line and ending, which of course didn't make me feel better."

Interrupting, Brandon dramatically exclaimed, "Seriously! I tell Stella this all the time. In every romantic comedy, the women isn't sure about having a relationship... either she's been hurt before from an ex or some past relationship... not to mention one of her parents are usually dead and she carries that sadness with her through her everyday life... And she is probably looking for a job or change in career while juggling a new relationship or potential old flame. And the biggest barrier of all IS HERSELF!"

Both Musa and Stella shot him quizzical looks. "What?" Brandon shrugged his shoulders, slightly embarrassed of his investment and response regarding the subject.

"Did you just describe my life as a rom-com?" Musa questioned, furrowing her brows, and crossing her arms over her chest.

The wheels turned in his head, realization dawning upon him."Oh my god, your life is a literal rom-com. When this is over, I could make a movie after you."

"Owe, what was that for?" Brandon frowned at the red mark on his from from where Stella had smacked him.

"Musa just returned home, don't make her leave again!"

"Rude," Brandon frowned, but continued to press the conversation. "Let me ask you this, are you now going to pursue music as a career since you rekindled your passion in Europe for it?" Brandon didn't need to say anything more, the flustered look on Musa's face confirmed his question. Before Brandon could smile and say he knew it, he grasped at his shin in pain from the deserved kick he received.

"Okay, I'm done. You two are abusive," He frowned, holding his hands in the air defeated, not before muttering under his breath, "You're the epitome of a tragic romantic comedy, need I say more?"

Grinning at Brandon's defeat, Musa continued. "Anyway, as I was saying before someone rudely interrupted me, I went to the one person whom I weirdly trusted without a doubt."

"And that was Andy, yes?" Stella clarified.

"Correct," Musa nodded her head in affirmation.

"I told you that's who she went to see," Stella shot Brandon a winning look. "I know my bestfriend."

"Hey I know her too and she's equally my best friend as she is yours," came Brandon, nestled into the bench next to Musa with a large plate full of hot pancakes and bacon. "Round two," he excitedly pointed at his food.

"It's disturbing how much food he still eats," Stella wrinkled her nose.

"Perplexing... wait til that goes to your thighs and hips," Musa teased, grinning as Brandon placed his fork down in annoyance.

Cupping her hands, Stella mouthed, "He thought you went to see 'you know who.'"

"Very funny, you can say his name y'know. He's not Lord Voldemort... he's not trying to take over the wizarding world and destroy non-pure magical beings."

"He pretty much is," Stella fired back. "His 'fiance' would be the one to drink a Unicorn's blood. She's absolutely vile."

"They're actually not together anymore," Musa affirmed, anxiously shifting in her seat.

"WHAT?" Stella squirmed in her details."DETAILS!"

"I'll get to that," Musa laughed.

"So what happened next?" Brandon tore his gaze away from his food to look at Musa. "You can't leave us hanging here," he gestured to him and a very sleepy Summer.

"It's an interesting story at best," She sighed, uncoiling the past.

Must stood in the cold, frantically knocking on the door. She raised her hand to knock again, fist beating against hardwood, while swearing to herself, "Open the fucking door." Her legs shook from the fear, the anticipation, and quite possibly, (the least impacting factor) the negative degree weather.

The door swung open, and a voice murmured, "Oh, hi, here I thought you were the pizza guy."

"I'm not," She blinked, cursing under her breath. "Sorry to disappoint."

"Clearly," Andy raised his eyebrow and smiled wryly.

They stood there for a few seconds, staring at each other fervently and taking in the awkward, unanticipated visit.

Andy gave a cough and nervously ran his hand through the mess of his hair. "Sooo, can I help you?"

"Yes, no..." Musa bit her lip, wrinkling her eyebrows before questioning, "who orders pizza at 10:45 in the morning?"

"Me," He slowly responds, trying to understand the situation. "Why does it matter when I order pizza?"

"Are you busy?" She asked nervously, trying to read the indifferent look on his face. Before waiting for him to respond, the words poured from her mouth in a nervous frenzy. She prayed he didn't have that girl over; she wasn't sure she could handle that. "Because if you are, I can leave and come back another day? Or not if you don't want me to? You know what, this was a terrible idea. I really should go," Musa rambled before turning around on the porch steps.

"No, wait. It's good to see you," Andy hesitantly placed his arm on her shoulder. "Why don't you come in" he paused, looking around the kitchen. "For some coffee?" He nudged towards the kitchen nook. The same nook that they used to spend Saturdays snuggled up, reading and drinking coffee... Laughing and playing guitars and singing... Complaining about their coworkers and friends... everything happened in this nook. Both the good and bad.

"I know you can't refuse some coffee. I'm pretty sure your blood is made of it," Andy convinced her while opening the door for her, extending the invitation.

Nodding slowly, Musa entered the archway. In some ways the townhome had never changed (the positioning of the television, the couch with lopsided armrest, the coffee table with too many bills and unopened mail piled on top of it) but it drastically had changed. There was something missing... and maybe that something was her... maybe it was him... or maybe it was them... the lost, unspoken history between them.

Anxiously, she sat at the table and awaited for him to bring her some coffee.

"Thank you," Musa took the coffee and brought it to her lips. "Dark Roast with cream... just how I like it." It was painful, yet touching, he remembered how she drank her coffee.

"Scone?" Andy held out the box of baked treats from her favorite bakery, Pistacia Vera. It was almost as if he was expecting her, anticipating her every move.

"Sure, thank you," She took one, nibbling on the corner.

"So you got my phone call then? Stella was quite worried about you."

Remembering his phone call, "Hey Muse, Stella called me. She sounded concerned and thought maybe I should reach out to you. Call me back, love you always."

"Yeah I got your call," She breathed. "I uhhh... obviously didn't call you back. I'm sorry... that's why I am partially here. But, nonetheless, thank you for reaching out to me. I was at a really low, unexplainable, place these past few days."

"Anytime." He frowned slightly. He didn't like seeing her this unsure and anxious.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, nibbling on scones and sipping on coffee while casually throwing soft glances at each other.

"You sure you're okay, M?" He used her old name, the one that made her heart slam into her chest.

With Andy she couldn't force the smile to her lips. While her and Riven had went through their tumults, she and Andy experienced something beyond what Riven and she had. Instead, she shrugged her shoulders and said, "I guess so."

Grabbing a fist of his hair, Andy breathed, leading the conversation: "Well, you came here for a reason didn't you? I'm here if you want to talk."

Twiddling her thumbs together, an anxious habit of hers, she responded, "I'm trying. Words are difficult to express right now."

"I'm sorry how things ended between us," Andy blurted. Unexpectedly, he reached across the table and placed her hand in his. "I should have been there for you."

Musa nodded, understanding in a weird way. She paused, thinking of something thoughtful to say while still expressing her hesitation for this closing conversation.

"I think I always knew deep down your heart belonged to someone else and it made me resentful. I wanted so badly to be your someone, despite knowing I couldn't fully be. I thought I could never compete or compare and because of those thoughts, I kept pushing you away until it was too late. And when I should have been there helping you cope and overcome something that deeply hurt me too, I couldn't be there for you. Instead, I chose to protect myself first and the only way I could do that was to run."

He grew anxious when Musa remained silence, still staring at their hands entwined. Giving a small squeeze, he continued, "I know you think that I didn't care about you or the loss of our baby, but I really, truly did. I swear it killed me too, I just didn't show it the same. The day we found out you were pregnant, that was the happiest day of my life and I'm not sure anything will ever compare. I wanted that so badly with you and I know I messed it up deeply. I also know because of how I acted, nothing will happen between us again... but I need you to know that I care so much about you and I'll never stop."

Surprised by his honesty (which wasn't something he had given her the last half of their relationship), she swallowed and spoke, "I'm truly sorry Andy, I never knew you felt that way.

"You can't be sorry for that... I never let you know how I was feeling," Andy whispered. Musa glanced up at him, those same words echoed from the fight she and Riven had at the cabin: You never talk about your feelings. It was always a guessing game with you. The worst part was I never knew what Musa I was going to get at the end of our relationship. Maybe she and Andy were more alike than what she thought.

Tears welded in her eyes and somehow she found the courage to speak. "Andy, please stop apologizing. I can't blame you for everything that happened between us. We faced the unthinkable and unimaginable... it crushed us both... and while I was grieving, I never stopped to think of the affect it had on you and how you felt. Maybe I also did what I had to do to survive and that was to put me first, not us."

Pulling at her fingers, Musa continued. "You've been so honest with me today and I think it's time for me to do the same. Looking back, I didn't know it at the time, I was never able to fully give you my heart. There was always a small thought 'what if' Riven changes his mind and comes back to me or reaches out to me."

Andy slowly nodded his head. "Subconsciously, I was waiting for that moment to happen, careful to not let my guard down with you."

"Andy," Musa confessed, withdrawing her hand from his and placing it on his arm in comfort, "I think I was always hoping for that moment. I never got the proper closure I needed. I do love you and care for you unconditionally. We experienced something far different and out of scope than Riven and I had and those experiences were so intimate and personal and despite everything that happened, good and bad, I wouldn't want to experience that with anyone but you... not even Riven. At the beginning of our relationship, I was hesitant, untrusting for a lot of past reasons, and I was scared. Which none were any fault of yours. Everything between us happened so fast, and unbeknownst to me, I was using you as a crutch, relying on you to pick me up and carry me through each bad day I had."

Running his hand through his hair, Andy heaved. "In a way, I used and relied on you too, Musa. I wasn't ready for the whirlwind of our relationship and I let you believe I was ready... and then everything happened and I wasn't prepared to cope with it. That hurt more than anything in the world."

Choking back the tears, Muse spoke softly. "But, you are right Andy. This terrible thing happened and we didn't treat each other right and that is why we can never be together again. You get that we can never be together again?"

A loud sob echoes from his throat and Musa realizes for the first time that she's also crying. They can never be together again and no matter what they do, they cannot wipe away the memories or the loneliness and insecurities they made each other feel during their relationship.

"Can I have a hug?" Musa asked slowly in between tears, not knowing how to proceed or where their relationship stood.

Before she knew it, Andy is in front of her, crushing his body into hers, wrapping his arms around her tightly, whispering into her ear how much he loves her. There's no doubt he cares, despite their sad realizations and confessions.

...

After awhile, they settled back into their chairs at the table, piecing together conversations and histories, understanding the severity of the situation while respecting each other's feelings.

Using all of the courage Andy could find, he asked the unnerving question, "So, I need to know: what happened? You went to Riven's house for Christmas, did you two finally get back together?"

Musa breathed, unsure of the answer. It only seemed fitting to let out a half-laugh, half-cry. "Actually, no."

"No?" Andy blinked a few times, questioning if he heard her correctly.

"We talked, we resolved the past, turned our closure into companionship, and then, surprisingly to me... his fiance or ex-fiance, I'm not sure, showed up at his parent's house for Christmas. To my shock and present disgust, his fiance was the woman he left me for. And when I mean left me for, I mean he was dating her while we were still together when my mom died." Her words fell flat. It felt weird admitting that out loud, coming to terms with it.

"I'm sorry, Musa. Wow, what a dick," Andy commented, bringing a small smile to Musa's lips (funny, those were the same words Riven said about Andy).

"I'm not arguing there. It was such a bold move, I couldn't believe it. I felt as if I was in this spotlight, performing in front of other people and it was uncomfortable. When I had the chance to leave, Brandon picked me up and I spent the past few days at their house before going home.

"You know what's even more disappointing? Andy asked.

Musa curiously looked at Andy, unsure of the words that were going to come out of his mouth.

"Riven is missing out on the best opportunity of his life. He not only had another chance, which he didn't deserve, but he proceeded to blow it... except this time, unforgivably so. If I seem him, I'm going to beat him up and lecture him on what a terrible decision he made because I'm always Team Musa."

Musa gave him a real smile, nodding at his words. Despite everything they had gone through, Andy was still going to bat for her. They were a team, even if they couldn't be together again.

...

Surprisingly, Musa stayed the rest of the day, ate the pizza that was finally delivered, and napped on the chaise of their old leather couch. It wasn't awkward and it wasn't sad. Neither one said it, but this was the most relief they had felt in a really long time.

In-between her napping dreams, Musa woke up abruptly, heart pounding and breath shaky. She prodded Andy awake with her toes: "Andy, wake up! I know what I have to do; I need to get out of here and travel. I'm going to cash my plane ticket it in and go to Europe."

"Europe," He questioned, rubbing his eyes.

"It's what I have to do, I need this for me," She affirmed quietly.

"I know, M." Andy whispered, falling back asleep.

Stella and Brandon sat in the booth in silence, tossing each other glances, not sure of what to say.

"Well, you're both shockingly quiet," Musa grinned.

"Actually, I am in shock. I'm surprised how well your and Andy's conversation went... I saw that turning out terrible and instead, you both came out of this stronger and together. Not together as in a romantic relationship, but a support-type together. I'm happy for you both," Stella answered truthfully.

"If only you had been honest with Andy sooner," Brandon chewed into a piece of bacon. "Maybe y'all could have avoided this and you wouldn't have ended up at Riven's for Christmas..."

"Owe," Brandon wined, rubbing his arm while glaring at his annoyed wife. This was the second time she smacked him at breakfast.

"Don't be a jerk Brandon," Stella hissed.

Musa let out a laugh, shaking her head at her favorite couple sitting across from her. "I sure did miss you two."

"It's my job to give Musa a hard time. Beneath this exteriority is tutelage," Brandon winked.

"Returning to your point, Brandon, I think even if Andy and I were honest with each other, somehow I was destined to be at Riven's and those events were supposed to occur and everything happened for a reason. I don't believe in coincidences-I feel this in my core."

"So Riven came to see you while you were in Europe," Stella mused, shifting the topic to the awaited, much needed, subject.

"He did." Musa confirmed.

"FINALLY! AND?" Brandon threw his arms in the air. "I've been waiting months to hear this story. You left us one lousy text message. What did it say again?" Brandon pulled his phone out, scrolled through his messages and read aloud:

Hi, life update: I'm alive-I miss you both so much. Orlando and I snagged some free wifi. Riven tracked me down in Europe. We chatted and had a glass of wine. He left yesterday. I will update you both soon.

"YOU LEFT US HANGING," Brandon exasperated.

"In the dark," Stella reminded her, building upon Brandon's monologue.

"FOR MONTHS!" Brandon quickly placed his hands over his mouth once Summer started stirring awake.

"You never did update us," Stella whispered to her while shooting her a pointed look.

"This was worse than waiting for a new season of a show that had the most epic cliffhanger."

"Worse than reading most of a good story and the author never finishes writing the ending," Stella raised her coffee, agreeing with her husband.

Softly laughing at the glares her friends were tossing her way, she held her hands in the air, surrendering. "You're right, that was a jerk move and I'm sorry."

Folding her hands over her lap, Musa dovetailed into the story of how Riven wandered into a coffee bar, found her sitting next a bookshelf, holding an Italian Man's hand and humming along to the piano man.

Wow, I did it. I finished this chapter-it only took me 3 years, a lot of opening this same document, writing a few sentences here and there, and closing it. I promise the next update won't be 3 years. As you can imagine, the next chapter comes in Riven's perspective.

I have hopes to read through this story and make some edits to the chapters, tighten up plot holes, further character development, and maybe add some more character dialog here and there.

Lastly, thank you for reading (if I have any readers left)... I look forward to reading your comments.