Thank you for your patience on getting the first chapter of the sequel to Made to Lie up. This is it. It's all told from Castiel's point of view (and after the ending to M2L I'm sure you can guess why).

If you're just tucking into this one, I suggest you read the first story first. It will fill in some of the gaps for this one. While there will be flashbacks with Castiel's POV of various moments from the first story, the other one still has everything that was going on through Dean's mind.

I really hope you enjoy this story. As some people reviewed as guests in the last chapter, I don't feel like I brought in a shock ending that made people feel they were wasting their time reading. There were subtle clues throughout that something was going to happen to Dean. I'll also say that I like to write based on real life, and sometimes events happen when we least expect it to happen. It can make things seem unfinished and uncertain, and that's what I was going for with the last chapter. If you don't like that type of ending, you're not likely to like much of my writing because that's what I aim for-realism. But thank you for your reviews. I do keep them in mind, but it doesn't mean I'm going to change my writing style. As this is not for profit and much of it is for my own pleasure, I will stick to that way of writing. That doesn't mean everything will end with sadness (because again that's not real). There are even times that I have alternate endings.

Chapter 1

Castiel thanked Jo as she dropped him off back at Dean's house. She had been a great friend to him tonight, even though she didn't really have to be. Jo was just one of those people who would welcome those she trusted in and help them out when necessary.

"He'll be okay, Cas," Jo smiled, tilting her head to one side as he climbed out of her small car. He looked down at her before shutting the door, "Just give him some time. Remember what Sam and I told you. Dean has a lot of darkness around him that he's trying to fight again. I think you're the light he's needed."

"Thank you, Jo," Castiel nodded his head, "I'm not giving up on him. Go home and put some ice on that eye."

Closing the door, he gave her a small wave, before turning around to face the house. It seemed strange going in without Dean. While he'd spent a few hours in the house with just Dean's parents and siblings, he hadn't actually walked into the property alone. Not when he'd just been out with Dean.

A light was still on, but Castiel checked his watch. It was almost four in the morning, surely nobody was still going to be up right now. Surely everyone would have gone to bed. Dean had told them not to wait up—and it seemed perfectly normal for him to be out until all hours.

When he let himself into the house, with the key that Dean had given him earlier, he looked around. The whole house was quiet. There was definitely nobody up right now. But Castiel didn't really want to go to sleep. Not seeing the Impala in the driveway made it clear that Dean wasn't home yet. And Cas didn't feel right going into his boyfriend's bedroom to sleep when his boyfriend was clearly dealing with a lot going on in his head.

Jo had been right about Dean not having it easy. There was a darkness in him, and Castiel could sense that from the first day he met him. When they were talking with the whole group, there were times that Castiel had watched Dean's green eyes turn darker. And Castiel definitely couldn't forget those nights as Dean was slowly coming to terms with his bisexuality.

"I said you're a typical jock." Castiel looked up at Dean. It was a stupid argument that they were getting into, really. Dean had just stopped a fight from breaking out in one of the classrooms, all because Castiel and his friends were using it. He couldn't help but wonder what trouble Dean would get into with his football friends for doing that. Why had he done it?

They'd shared a kiss a while ago. Well, it wasn't really shared. Castiel had kissed Dean. He'd read some signals wrong and went for it. Dean had panicked. Of course he had. Dean Winchester wasn't gay. Castiel knew that, but it didn't stop him from trying.

But all it had done was lead them here. And now Castiel was insulting Dean.

"Whoa! No I'm not a typical jock," Dean shook his head, a hurt in his beautiful jade green eyes for even the thought that he could be a typical job. No, Dean wasn't a typical jock, but he'd been acting like one at that moment in time, "If I was, I'd have let those two knuckleheads have their way with you and your friends. I didn't. I stopped them."

"Some stopping them," Castiel now stood up from the bed, locking eyes with Dean. God, those green eyes were pulling him in. They were sexy, but Castiel could see the darkness in them coming back. He was angry, and Castiel wasn't sure how far he'd be able to push him, "You didn't exactly stand up for me, did you? You were a typical jock, just one not looking for a fight."

"So not a typical jock then, huh?" Dean shouted at his roommate, "Trust me, I can act like one if you want. You want me to let you get the crap beaten outta ya?"

"They've tried in the past." Castiel shrugged his shoulders, "It's not like I need a knight in shining armor, Dean." Of course, it didn't mean Cas had liked the beatings. This last year had been the hardest though. It was like Zach and the rest of the team wanted to make the most of their senior year. And Cain was clearly looking to take the big man's spot next year.

"Well, you want me to do the beating? Because I can do," Dean warned the 17-year-old, "I would beat you so hard, you'd be flying into next week."

"You think you're so tough because you've gotten into fights in the past, don't ya?" Castiel asked, chuckling at the remark, "I'd like to see you try."

"The last fight I got into, I put the guy in the hospital," Dean glared at his roommate. They were closer now with Castiel invading Dean's personal space yet again. Castiel was really pushing him right now, "I can easily do it again. Or maybe you wanna end up in the morgue."

"Is that a threat, Winchester?" Castiel narrowed his eyes. It certainly sounded like one, and right now Castiel had a death wish. But there was just something about Dean that meant he couldn't back away. There was this tension—this chemistry—that made Castiel want more.

"Take it how you want, Novak." Dean fired back and waited. He waited to see what Castiel would say next. The problem was he didn't say anything next. Castiel looked down at Dean's lips, the tension drawing him in. Before he knew it, he was pulling Dean towards him, grabbing his head to stop Dean from pulling away. They locked lips, and Castiel pulled the taller boy in closer.

Dean never did reciprocate the kiss. Instead, he pushed Castiel away, clearly realizing what was going on. Maybe Castiel was pushing this too hard, but he knew the tension and attraction he was feeling between the two of them.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Dean shook his head, wiping his mouth. There was clear disgust in those gorgeous green eyes, but mixed with something else. Something that had Castiel even more certain that Dean enjoyed that.

"You're telling me that you don't want it?" Castiel asked, "I've seen the way you look at me."

Dean didn't say anything. The usual cocky, sarcastic man was just a little boy, questioning everything. It made Castiel feel amazing. He'd actually just shut his roommate up. Glaring right into those eyes, he continued, "If you don't want it, tell me to walk away right now."

They hadn't been able to take it any further that night. They'd been interrupted due to the headcount that happened every night and by the time that finished the tension had left. Dean put his guard back up and went to bed, threatening Castiel with a trip to the morgue. Not that Castiel was going to take that seriously. He'd heard some of the phone conversations Dean had with his parents and his little brother. Dean was trying to turn over a new leaf.

He was trying to get rid of that darkness, but his past kept pulling him back. It wasn't even a recent past. One thing that Castiel hadn't realized was that Dean had come from an abusive home. It was a long time ago, but for Dean it was often just like yesterday.

That was something Jo and Sam had explained. It had been while Dean was with Lisa, trying to work out their plan for when the baby came. Castiel wanted to learn more about his boyfriend, and was snooping in his bedroom. It felt wrong but so right at the same time. This was the only way he was going to learn more.

Sam had come up to see what Castiel was up to, tagging Jo along who'd come over to keep Castiel entertained. Sometimes he wondered whether he came across as a small kid who couldn't look after himself. But he wasn't going to complain. It felt good to get to know the people in Dean's life; the people that Dean stood up for and protected with everything he had.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked, a smirk in his voice. Castiel looked like a deer caught in headlights, but softened when he realized that Dean's little brother was just messing around with him, "If you're looking for his diary, you'll be disappointed. Dean Winchester doesn't do diaries."

"Haha! Dean Winchester doesn't do chick flick moments." Jo pointed out, dropping onto her best friend's bed. She quickly held her hand up and then ruffled through one of his drawers, pulling out a little black book and then throwing it at Castiel.

"What's this?" Castiel asked, not really sure whether he wanted to look through it.

Jo didn't say anything, just motioned for Castiel to take a look. When he did, he was shocked to see the words written across the pages. They weren't names and numbers like he was expecting—nothing to do with Dean's notches on his bed posts. They were lyrics. The man had written down his thoughts in the form of song.

As Castiel looked through them, he realized that a lot of the lyrics were about abuse and alcohol. They were about his childhood, well the first four years.

"Look towards the back." Jo now said, glancing over at Sam. The younger boy had a worried look in his brown eyes. He clearly wasn't sure whether letting Castiel see this was a good idea, but Jo just shrugged her shoulders. The silent conversation between the two friends made it clear they'd known each other for many years.

Castiel flipped to the back and saw that some of the lyrics were about run-ins with the law, time behind bars and a man. The man was never given a name, but Castiel could guess who it was. That was going to be Dean and Sam's biological dad.

"Dean doesn't do chick flick moments, but he has to get his thoughts out somehow," Sam sighed, as Castiel gave the book back to Jo, "He doesn't know we know about it, so you can't tell him you've looked at it."

"He doesn't want people to know that side of him?" Castiel asked with a frown.

Jo laughed at the question, "Have you met Dean Winchester?"

Castiel sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed, as Sam pulled up the desk chair. Castiel realized that Dean was becoming more of an enigma. In fact, he was an enigma wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in a Sudoku puzzle. It was very confusing for the 18-year-old boy.

"Dean's issues with our dad go a lot deeper than mine do," Sam explained, "I was too young to remember any of it and I definitely don't remember witnessing anything. I don't even know how much Dean witnessed, but I remember him getting counselling for years. Not that it helped—I doubt he talked to anyone actually about it."

"He can be scary when he lashes out," Jo sighed, "I don't know if you've seen it yet, but there's this darkness in his eyes. It's as if he becomes a completely different person—or forgets who he really is. The last two years have been...intense."

"Is this the 'you need to be careful around him' speech?" Castiel asked, looking between Sam and Jo, and both of them shrugged. Yes, there was an element of that, but it was also a 'we're trying to help you get to know him better' speech.

Castiel sighed, as he sat down on the couch. He couldn't help but look up at the various family photos around the walls again. There were some of the three brothers as babies and toddlers. The ones of Charlie started from when she was about four, but Dean had said that she'd only recently been adopted.

If Mary and John had such love to adopt a young daughter after raising three boys, and clearly going through hell with her ex, it was clear that Dean could be a loving and kind man. He just needed to stop putting up the front.

The sound of the phone ringing pulled Castiel out of his thoughts. Looking at his watch, he realized an hour had passed already. No wonder Castiel was starting to feel tired. But where was Dean? Why wasn't he back yet? Had he decided not to come home after all?

Sound of banging pulled Castiel from his thoughts again, and then there was muffled panicked voices. Someone was rushing across the hallway and down the stairs. Castiel looked across to the stairs to see John running in sweats and a t-shirt.

"Oh, Castiel!" John looked at his son's boyfriend, shocked and panicked eyes, "What are you...you're here...I thought..."

"I'm here. Jo dropped me home and..."

Mary and Sam were the next two to come down the stairs. Both stopped in shock to see Castiel on the couch.

"You weren't with Dean?" Mary sighed with visible relief, but then panicked again. She looked over at John, "No, that means...he was alone."

Castiel frowned, watching the interaction between the two parents. Mary's eyes started tearing up. She had clearly thrown the first set of clothes that she could find, and both parents were trying to leave in a hurry. What had happened? Who was alone?

"Mom, Dad, just go," Sam pushed his parents out of the door, "Find out...Find out how Dean is and call me, okay? He needs you both right now."

"Look after Adam and Charlie," Mary kissed the top of Sam's head, before she was pulled out of the house by John. He heard the car screech out of the driveway and then down the street. It was now time for Castiel to find out what had happened. Looking at Sam, no words needed to be spoken.

"It was the hospital," Sam's eyes were filling with tears, "Dean's there and...and...I don't know how bad he is, Cas."

Cas couldn't explain the fear that went right through him upon hearing those words. He stood, frozen to the spot, just staring at the tears streaming down Sam's face.

This is going to have a bit of a slow start. I didn't just want to jump straight to Castiel finding out about Dean. I want to show some of the flashbacks. The idea of Dean jotting down song lyrics seems like something he would have done. After all, Dean in Supernatural wanted to be a rock star at one point ;) It's something I used to do to get my thoughts out rather than keep a diary, and I know plenty of other people who did it too (especially guys).

Anyway, I'd love to know what you thought about the first chapter. Please do R&R.