I

"Lee, wake up." Jacob's voice grumbled, permeating her subconscious and effectively ruining the good dream she was having. She feels his huge foot poke her side.

Her eyes snap open, instantly on guard, but her body is slow to respond. She stares up at the pale light filtering through the trees of the woods they had slept in, it couldn't have been more than five in the morning. "Ugh…what?" She groans, throwing an arm over her eyes. All she wanted to do was go back to bed. If you could call a pile of dry leaves and twigs a bed, but that's just semantics.

She vaguely hears Jacob's chuckle. "Well good morning to you too, sunshine," he teases. "It's your turn to patrol."

She exaggerated a sigh and reluctantly removed her arm to peer up at her Alpha standing over her. His hair was effectively windblown, the way only running at inhumane speeds through the forest on four legs will do for you. She glanced at his face and could read the evident exhaustion.

Begrudgingly she sat up, popping her sore neck, and stretching out her tired limbs. I need to invest in a pillow. She snorted at the thought of trying to lug a pillow along with her when she's phased. Her nose curls as she catches a whiff of leech from the button down shirt he seemed to have borrowed from the Bloodsuckers. She looked over to see Jacob's massive form collapse onto the ground, too close for Leah's liking. "Gosh, Jacob you stink," she growls. She narrowed her eyes at him, but he was already out like a light.

She cursed under her breath and stood up, stepping over her brother Seth's sleeping form a few feet away and made her way away from the two boys to undress. Once she was a safe distance away, she lifted her tattered tank top and shorts off her body and haphazardly tied them to the cord around her ankle. She yawns and pulls the heat from within her core and begins her long strides. Two feet turn into four paws and she sets off.

She runs for a while, thinking of trivial things before her mind inevitably drifts back to what it always seems to be on these days. Jacob.

There's no doubt in Leah's mind that she's been happier ever since she joined his pack. She was finally away from her asshole ex-boyfriend, Sam. Her heart constricts the smallest bit as she thinks of his face. Dick. Having to take orders from someone who had ripped out her heart in every sense of the word, and then having to witness his deepest thoughts and innermost fantasies about the woman he had left her for, her cousin Emily, was excruciating to say the least. The imprinted mind was one that Leah wouldn't wish her mortal enemy to have to endure. So, when Jake had broken away from Sam's pack and claimed his birthright as Alpha, Leah all but jumped at the chance to get away from Sam and his minions. She went under the pretense of protecting her brother Seth, who had of course followed Jacob, but it was plain as day to everyone that getting away from Sam was an opportunity Leah was not willing to pass up.

Hell, she would have even followed Paul, the biggest douche of them all, if he was the one who had broken away. She was honestly that desperate.

In the beginning, it wasn't exactly easy, as Jacob never took a strong liking to her. Well, none of them, save for Seth, had. But in the short amount of time that had passed, an understanding had come to pass between Jacob and her and he made her his Beta.

She was fucked up by Sam, he was fucked up by that insufferable Bella Swan. They understood each other's pain.

It wasn't an unconditional friendship. Hell, it wasn't even conventional. But, she figures if anyone has any clue of what she goes through, it's him.

She begins to feel a burning in her legs, and slows her pace just fractionally. The new pack was great and all, but having a smaller pack also meant having fewer available bodies for patrol, and it was taxing on all of them.

She feels irritation flare up as she gains sight of vamp territory and reluctantly continues her route, taking mindful steps so as to run her duty as she is supposed to, but not venture too far onto leech land. Her mind drifts to Bella once again, and she feels her blood boil with animosity. If it weren't for her and her demon spawn, Leah wouldn't have to be forced to be around the bloodsuckers.

But then again, if it weren't for Bella and her hybrid fetus, Jake wouldn't have felt the need to break away from Sam and protect her… and it, a small voice reminds her.

Dammit.

Just because her Alpha foolishly devoted his life to thinking the sun shined out of that whiny bitch's ass, doesn't mean Leah is supposed to. And the worst part is, she let him. It wasn't enough that Bella strung Jacob along for over a year, but she continued to tell him she didn't love him as much as she loved her bloodsucker boyfriend Edward, and Jacob just stayed and took it. That bitch had the best of both worlds, two men that would die for her. Well, her creepy husband was already dead, but still.

Ha, husband. She literally married death. Leah chortled. But even a pathetic girl like Swan could conceive a child, albeit a hybrid monster child, but a child nonetheless. And Leah was the genetic freak of nature. The dead end. It was a cruel joke that the gods had decided to play on her. Leah was convinced that her sole purpose in life was to suffer by watching other people get what she wanted. Emily got Sam, Bella got a baby… she felt the anger propel her muscles to work even faster.

She felt her frustration color her thoughts even darker. Why was Jacob so in love with her? He didn't imprint on her, and for that she was eternally grateful because the never-ending Bella show that was Jacob's mind, and subsequently hers by pack mind, would be amplified a thousand times in that case. She was literally the plainest, most unremarkable girl in all of Washington. Leah was hard pressed to find even one single redeeming quality about this girl. Even as kids, when Bella's father Charlie would bring her along with him to the Rez to visit Leah's father and Billy Black and she had to play with Leah and Rachel and Rebecca, Jake's older twin sisters, she was a selfish brat who didn't know how to share. It seemed like nothing had changed.

Before she knew it, it was time for her patrol to end. She almost lamented the fact, as she was quite enjoying the solitude. She had half a mind to just keep running north and not stop until Canada, but her exhaustion from earlier was catching up to her, so she changed course, and headed back to the direction of her two packmates.

"Leah!" Seth's voice cut straight through the light slumber that Leah had seemingly just fallen into. She jolted awake, instantly alert, on her feet in a second to see her brother running toward her.

"What? What's wrong?" She pressed, scanning him for any visible injuries.

"Nothing! Calm down," He chuckled, removing her hands from his face.

"Why'd you wake me up then?" She snapped, stepping away from him, her irritation evident. "What is with you two idiots and waking me up today?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted some lasagna… it's the best I've ever had." He admits, innocently holding up the Tupperware container in his hands in front of her face.

She pinches her nose. "Ew, get that away from me," She could smell the sugary bleach stench radiating, stronger than the tomato sauce, cheese, and the onions. The worst smell in the world. Leech. Hunger be damned, Leah was not about to eat anything that was prepared by a bloodsucker, no matter how "delicious" Seth claimed it was. Besides, that boy would literally eat anything and say it's delicious, even before the wolf metabolism.

"C'mon, Lee. Please? It's so good! And plus you need to eat." He says, sounding more like the older brother for once.

"You were over there again?" she asks and gets a nod in response. She shakes her head in disbelief. "I'm going back to sleep. Don't wake me up." She pushes past him and returns to her spot on the forest floor, trying to find her comfortable position again. She closes her eyes and pretends not to hear her brother's disappointed sigh and retreating footsteps.

Leah woke hours later feeling only slightly refreshed after her patrol. She vaguely felt guilty for snapping at her brother earlier who was only trying to make a peace offering, but quickly pushes the feeling away. She has nothing to feel guilty for. They were the ones who were bonding with their mortal enemy. If anyone needed to atone for anything, it should be them. Jake had made another appearance, seemingly spending the whole day with Seth at the godforsaken mansion, which only served to set her nerves on fire.

"C'mon, Lee. You can't seriously be mad at me for this." Jake says, torn between looking irritated and concerned.

"Not just you, O Mighty Alpha…baby brother's in on it too," She growls.

"Why are you so worked up about this?" He sighs.

She's about to bite her tongue, because she's not really in the mood, but decides she's had enough of censoring herself. If they were going to be in a pack together, he'd need to see all sides of her. And fuck it if she didn't want to explode.

"I'm so 'worked up' because you and Seth seem to be forgetting the part where they're our mortal enemies. We're designed to tear them apart! Those leeches, right in there," she points in the general direction of the bloodsucker's lovely abode, "Are the reason we are what we are." She spits.

He interjects before she can continue. "Oh yeah? And what are we?" Stupid question, he knows, but his brain isn't functioning quite normally.

"We're beasts. Not normal, by any means. And it pisses me the fuck off to see how you're in there, just hanging out with those parasites like you're all one big gang of regular fucking happy humans, but get this, you're not normal, and they're not even fucking human! They smell rank, they suck blood for fun, and …" She trails off, catching her breath and losing her train of thought. She continues in a softer but still firm tone. "They're enemies, Jake. Natural born fuckin' enemies. Sure, they might seem closer to allies at this point, but no matter who we have to go up against alongside them, you have to remember, we'll never be on the same side as them, not completely." She finishes.

He doesn't know what to say.

He regains his voice when a thought hits him. "Is that the only reason you hate that I spend so much time over there?" He asks cautiously, knowing he could be treading on dangerous waters.

She swallows. "Yes." Lie. The other reason she hated Jacob spending his time at Leech Mansion was that bitch Bella. But she saw no point in telling him this as it would upset him and that fact bothered Leah for reasons that would upset her.

"Don't lie to me, Clearwater. I can smell it." He says in an almost harsh tone, a hint of his superiority leaking through.

"I'm not…" She tries, knowing any attempt at hiding something from him was futile. Even if she could avoid it when they were human, once they phased again he'd read it in her thoughts soon enough, even if she tried to block him out. He could always tell when he was being blocked out. Luckily, she kept the super secret thoughts stored away with the girly-personal ones and the dark, angsty, morbid ones. He didn't even want to go near those.

"Lee." He warns. He didn't want to have to command her.

She shook her head and looked away, changing course of the direction she had stalked off in, unconsciously moving closer to the Cullen house.

He stops her before she goes too far by catching up and putting a hand on her shoulder. She tenses up, spine rim-rod straight. He pulls away as she slowly turns to face him. "Don't touch me, Black." She snarls. With the look on her face right now, he'd be bursting into flames.

"Tell me." He answers, just as harsh, not backing down.

The malice evaporates from her features even though the darkness doesn't. "Fine. But, you're not gonna like it." She warns him.

"Try me."

She sighs and dives right in. "You want to know why I can't stand you going there, aside from the whole mortal enemies and horrible burning stench thing? Fine. It's because the longer you're there, the longer it will take you to get over her. You're torturing yourself for no good reason. You talk about how you want the pain to stop? Then, STOP FUCKING PUTTING HER FIRST." She bellows. She hadn't meant to lose her temper, she really hadn't. But, she could feel the telltale tremors shoot their way up her spine and her hands were vibrating like crazy.

He had no good answer to that, so she took it as her cue to continue.

"I'm so damn sick and tired of her coming before everything. Bella Swan this and Bella Swan that. I get that you love her, I really do, but there's a line, Jake. You put her first in everything. You caused the rift between the packs ultimately because you couldn't stand the thought of hurting her. You were miserable for a year and a half because of her. I could sort of understand when things were normal, I guess. But you have no chance with her now. She's married, pregnant with that freak of a spawn and yet you continue to dote on her. I also understand why you feel the need to protect the… innocent, but I mean... come on. Since when did Bella freaking Swan come before your … pack?" Her voice broke on the last word. "Would you be willing to sacrifice yourself to save her? How about Seth? Huh? Because ultimately, that's what it'll come down to. A choice. Between you and her, or us and her, or both. And I don't want to stand around and watch you ruin your life for that bitch." She's quiet as she lets him take it all in.

He got what Leah was saying. He did. Ultimately, it came down to loyalties. Where did his lie? With the girl who'd done nothing but string him along for almost two years, telling him she wanted him, she loved him, but he just wasn't enough? Or did he choose to be loyal to his new packmates, a bouncing, annoying werewolf and a scorned, broken she-wolf whom he was just beginning to understand? He knows the answer, but it just hurts him too much to say it.

"What are you saying, Leah?" He asks quietly.

"I'm tired of being a second choice. But that's all that I am. Because I know, given the opportunity, you would save her life over protecting mine." She says, and it shouldn't sting so badly to say the words she already knows are true, but it does.

"You don't know that."

"Don't I?"

"Lee—" He starts but is cut off by a shout, sounding suspiciously like Seth.

"Jake! Jake!" He sounded urgent. Leah doesn't miss the way his eyes flicker towards the house, and she knows he wants to go.

"Go." She says flatly.

"But…"

"Just. Go. She's your first priority." Her voice is cold and hollow, much like the insides of her felt at that moment.

He was really torn. He knows that if he leaves now, he would severely damage any semblance of a friendship he has or might've had with Leah Clearwater. But, if he doesn't go and something happened to Bella – her condition takes a turn for the worst or he misses her take her last breath… he just wouldn't be able to live with himself.

She sees his guilty face and she knows his decision is made. Leechlover wins again. But really, what did she expect?

She turns and strides deeper into the woods so she could phase, shredding her only outfit.

She lets her paws pound the earth extra hard just so she doesn't have to hear his retreating footsteps.

She runs a quick few circles around the perimeter of the area trying not to think, just focusing on her wolf instincts. For once she's almost glad Jacob and Seth are too caught up in the Casa del Cold Ones, that way, she has her mind to herself for a little bit again. She pushes herself to run as fast as she can, focusing on the air whooshing past her and the comforting sights and sounds of the forest. This much she liked about being a wolf, the feeling of being free when you run. It was maybe one of the few good things Leah liked about it.

The change happened too fast, that much she hated about it. It's like one day you get super pissed off beyond belief and then next thing you know you're an animal with voices in your head. All of a sudden you're forced to get a tattoo and cut your hair off and take orders from your ex-boyfriend and you have to give up simple civil liberties like showering at free will and keeping your modesty in front of a bunch of hormonal idiot boys and privacy, oh, privacy. You surrender your privacy— not just physically, which is a pain that in and of itself, but also emotionally, and definitely mentally. It's especially difficult being a part of something that no one wants you to be in, when you have no choice in the matter yourself.

So that's another reason why when Jacob decided to break away from the pack and embrace his birthright, she'd been more inclined to join him and her kid brother. She knew that she wasn't Black's favorite person in the world, but at least she could get away from the main pack and out from under the ruling thumb that was Sam whom she was forced to listen to. At least Jacob wasn't Sam, not even a little bit.

At least that's what she had thought. But it seemed like Jake was just as blinded by his supposed 'love' for Bella as Sam was by his imprint on Emily. Both was a sham, in her opinion. Imprinting was just some freaky breeding program made up by the gods, falling in love at first sight with whomever you're "destined" to be with. The way Leah saw it, Sam didn't love Emily. No, he was assigned to her. But Jake and Bella... that was almost worse. He didn't have some supernatural fate bullshit to blame it on. He was just blinded by misplaced affections. And for what, really? She was in love with someone (something) else.

She skids to a stop when she reaches the nearby river. She just looks at her wolfy reflection in the water. She really had no room to talk about the leeches; just look at her. She's a monstrous beast… who turns into a wolf. This transformation ruined her life, her brother's life, and it literally killed her father. She was never supposed to change. There were no other female wolves. Yet the wolf Gods decided to play a sick practical joke on her and make her one, at the end of the worst year of her life. She doesn't realize she phased back until she's sitting there staring at the reflection of her human face. No. The wolf didn't ruin her life. She did that all on her own. She clearly has to be the most unlovable being on the planet. Everyone she seemed to care about ends up leaving.

Sam left, her dad left, and now Jake... he might as well be as good as gone.

Water starts to run down her face and it takes her a second to realize it's not from the perpetual impending rain clouds hanging in the sky. Leah doesn't bother wiping the tears away from her face. No one would know about it.

She hated crying. She remembers the day she had to cut her hair off for the pack, and how she sobbed that night. It wasn't so much the hair, even though she had been growing it out for years and it hurt to see her beautiful dark locks just chopped away like they were nothing, but it was more of the consolidation that the whole wolf thing was real. She kept waiting for someone to jump out and say that this had been some whole elaborate prank or she was just having a nightmare and when she woke up Sam would be by her side and none of it would have ever happened.

But that didn't happen. She went home after the haircut and buried her face into her pillow and cried out every drop of water in her body until it hurt. That was the last time she remembers really crying.

Now she cried silent tears thinking about how her life had turned to complete and utter shit and she was only twenty years old. She wraps her arms around her bare knees and cries some more. She doesn't care that she has no clothes on (no way in hell will she wear the leeches') and she doesn't care she's all alone in the middle of nowhere sobbing on a riverbank. She just doesn't care.