Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter etc, please don't sue me!

Thanks to Ultimate Slytherin 2001, my awesome beta reader!

Don't forget to check the warnings in the summary.

Happy reading! And if you get the chances, shoot me a review :D

Hermione settled herself into a desk chair at the front of the classroom and pulled out her quill to copy down the name of the charm that Professor Flitwick had placed on the board for them to learn during today's lesson.

Her quill paused as she read the name. Immediately, she started jiggling her leg up and down.

Professor Flitwick enthusiastically launched into his lecture on the complex charm. But she didn't hear, her attention was focused solely on the magical Latin name.

Neville glanced over from his seat beside her where he was trying to copy down Professor Flitwick's lecture.

'Err, Hermione, you're making the table shake,' he whispered.

Hermione jumped at his comment. 'Huh?' she asked.

'Your leg. It's bumping the table on every move,' Neville answered quietly, pointing at her still bouncing leg under the table with his quill.

Hermione glanced down, watching her leg with evident surprise. It stopped moving. 'Sorry, Neville. I didn't realise what I was doing.'

The boy offered a weak smile and turned back to his parchment, hastily scribbling down what the professor was saying.

Hermione cast a sideways glance to the person in a seat at the back right corner of the room, her secret boyfriend, Draco Malfoy. She caught his attention and he raised a questioning eyebrow. She glanced at the board and then back at her boyfriend. She watched him follow her glance and shrug.

How can he be so calm! Everyone is about to find out our secret! And Ron and Harry... oh Merlin! she thought.

Hermione started to chew her lip and tap her quill feather on the table as she focused back on the tiny professor at the front of the classroom. He was going through his usual spiel about how the class would need to practise the complex spell.

The tiny professor paused when Lavender Brown brought her hand high into the air.

'Yes, Miss Brown, did you have a question?' Professor Flitwick enquired.

'I'm confused, what exactly does this spell show?' she asked.

Hermione rolled her eyes and tuned out the dim-witted girl and her professor. It's really not hard to understand. The spell scans the subject's body and identifies the last person they've kissed. It's usual used by Aurors or untrusting partners/spouses. Simple. Stupid Lavender Brown, I can't believe this class doesn't have an advanced stream so we don't have to listen to this idiocy. That said, the longer she talks the less chance everyone will have to cast the spell during class. Maybe I won't have to be subject to the spell—

Neville's voice interrupted Hermione's thoughts once more. 'Umm, Hermione, can you stop tapping your quill against the desk? It's really distracting.'

Hermione let out a slow breath and forced a smile. 'Sorry, Neville.'

Hermione placed her quill on the desk and rested her hands on the tabletop.

When Lavender asked, 'But isn't this spell, like, a total ovation of privacy?'

Hermione snorted. You mean invasion, dear dim-witted Lavender.

Professor Flitwick furrowed his brow as he looked at the student who asked the question. The girl was looking back at him with a serious expression. 'Ah… oh. Oh! You mean invasion. No, not at all, I doubt any of you young things have anything to hide,' Professor Flitwick responded.

Coughing erupted around the class and the professor looked at them all with bewilderment, muttering to himself, 'Why does this always happen?' Louder, he added, 'Don't worry, if you've never kissed anyone the spell will simply write "no information" above your head.'

Hermione didn't know if Professor Flitwick was so old he had forgotten what teenagers were like, or if he was in supreme denial as to what occurred in Hogwarts outside of class.

Hermione chanced another glance back at Draco who looked at her with amusement. He was clearly thinking along the same lines: although from the appreciative look he was now starting to use, he had probably jumped to what the pair of them had specifically done in this particular classroom one evening a month ago. Hermione blushed lightly in response and he grinned wolfishly.

Lavender was still trying to argue it was an invasion of privacy - thankfully now with the correct word - as Hermione started to drum her fingers on the hard wood of the tabletop; she missed the exasperated glare that Neville shot at her.

Eventually Blaise Zabini interrupted Lavender's arguments. 'Calm down, Brown: it's not like we don't all know you're snogging Weasley like your life depends on it to keep him from sniffing around Granger's shirt.' Eww… Ron is like a brother these days! That's just…eww!

Sniggering erupted as Lavender's cheeks flamed and she sunk down in her chair.

'Oi!' Ron Weasley shouted back after a moment of delay.

Hermione ignored the heads turning towards her, lifting her chin slightly while keeping her eyes firmly on the blank parchment in front of her.

'Okay, okay, settle down folks,' Flitwick called as he tapped his wand on his desk.

A few chuckles continued as the class slowly settled down, until everyone heard Ron mutter, 'It's not like that's gonna happen anyway, since Mione turned me down.' Immediately the cat calls started and everyone began laughing again.

'Granger, you've gone up in my esteem, clearly you have better taste than I thought,' Theo Nott commented. 'Unless you are holding out for Crabbe or Goyle here.'

'Hey!' Crabbe and Goyle replied.

'I'll tell you what, how about I take you out this weekend to Hogsmeade?' Theo added with a leer.

'No thank you, Nott,' Hermione's clipped voice replied.

'What about me? I can take you out,' Blaise offered.

'No thank you, Zabini,' Hermione replied with a roll of her eyes. Blaise was actually the only person to know that she and Draco were, in fact, a couple. So, she really didn't appreciated his intentional stirring and mischief-making.

The class laughed at her succinct responses to the Slytherins, until Ron put his foot in it once more when he sneered, 'As if Mione would date a Slytherin.'

Hermione could see Blaise's eyes light up from where he was sitting across the room.

'You sure about that Weasley?' he taunted.

'Of course, she'd only date a Gryffindor,' he replied confidently.

Hermione sent Ron an affronted look that a few people caught. Well, if he is going to make me seem like a bias bitch, then I will let Blaise have his fun. She sent Blaise a barely noticeable smile and nod, which the boy obviously caught when he grinned maliciously and turned to face Ron directly.

'Alright then, if you are so confident you know your friend so well, I bet you Granger would date a Slytherin.'

The Slytherins in the class stilled as they looked at Blaise. All of them knew that the young man never bet unless he was sure he would win. Their curious eyes slid to Hermione who was once more steadfastly looking at the blank notes in front of her.

'You're on, when is this bet supposed to finish?' Ron replied.

'How about the end of today,' Blaise answered with a shrug.

Ron laughed. 'Ha, you're going down, Zabini! If I win, you have to give me your new broom.'

Blaise just smiled. 'And if I win, and Granger here is dating a Slytherin at dinner tonight, you have to do a nudie run across the Quidditch Pitch during the next match.'

Harry started to frantically tug on Ron's sleeve with a worried look. Ron might have been oblivious to Blaise's confidence, but Harry wasn't: nor was he ignorant of the speculative looks the Slytherins were sending at Hermione or the look she had sent at Ron when he proclaimed she would only date a Gryffindor.

'Stop it, Harry,' Ron said, shaking his sleeve free from his best friend's grip. 'Deal, Zabini,' Ron said.

Blaise's malicious grin stayed in place as he settled back in his seat, turning his attention to the professor at the front of the room who was still tapping his wand to get everyone's attention.

Following Blaise's lead, the other Slytherins also turned their attention to the professor. Everyone else soon copied and Professor Flitwick continued with his lecture.

Hermione was brought out of her musings for a final time by Neville, again. 'Hermione, you can stop drumming on the table, it is time for the practical portion of the class.'

Hermione glanced at Neville and then at her hand, that was paused with two fingers up and two on the smooth wood, before looking back at Neville with an apologetic smile.

'Yeah, I know, you're sorry,' he replied. 'Is something wrong? If it is Ron, I'm sure he didn't mean what he said. Or are you upset he is snogging Lavender? Because—'

'I'm fine, Neville. And Ron will get what's coming to him,' Hermione replied.

'You're—You're not going to date a Slytherin just to make him lose the bet are you!?' Neville gasped.

'Of course not, I have no intention of changing my relationship status today,' Hermione replied.

Neville nodded in relief. While he thought Ron was out-of-order and didn't really know his idealist friend very well, he didn't want to witness his roommate running across the Quidditch Pitch stark naked.

Professor Flitwick was calling the students to the front in pairs to perform the spell in front of the whole class; as they always did for complex spells.

'Mr Weasley and Mr Potter, if you would please make the first attempts,' Professor Flitwick summoned.

Ron stood up and moved to the front of the class while Harry hesitated, eyes flicking to the classroom door and then back to Ron.

Hermione stifled a giggle, clearly she wasn't the only one with a secret. At least Harry won't be able to take the high ground after my secret is revealed.

Harry trudged to the front of the class and faced Ron.

'Mr Potter, you first.'

Harry flicked his wand and the name which appeared above Ron's head was that of his girlfriend, Lavender Brown.

'One point to Gryffindor, well done, Mr Potter.'

Ron cast his spell next. Nothing happened.

'More of a flick, Mr Weasley,' Flitwick guided.

Ron gripped his wand tighter and repeated the spell.

The force threw Harry against the cushioned wall with a soft thud, however the name still began to form.

'One point from Gryffindor, softer grip next time, Mr Weasley.'

Ron hissed. 'What are you doing kissing my baby sister!?'

The name above Harry's head identified his last kiss as being from Ginny.

'Wearedating,' Harry quickly replied, lifting his arms in defence.

'How nice for you, Mr Potter. Mr Weasley, please help up your partner from the floor. We now need two new volunteers. Mr Nott and Mr Zabini.'

Ron was distracted from berating Harry by the thought of watching the Slytherins. He was confident that Hermione wouldn't date a Slytherin, but, on reflection, Zabini had been very confident in making the bet. When he glanced at Hermione she seemed to be uninterested in the two Slytherins who had just asked her out, finding the back corner of the room more interesting. Ah, of course, he thought, there is that healer recruitment poster on the wall back there.

'Mr Zabini, if you please,' Professor Flitwick said with a gestured towards Theo.

A name quickly formed over Theo's head: Daphne Greengrass, his girlfriend.

'One point to Slytherin. Mr Nott, your turn.'

A name formed over Blaise's head and everyone gasped. Hermione glanced up and took in the name and chuckled, sending an amused look at her boyfriend who looked appalled.

'You kissed Malfoy! You're both gay!?' Dean Thomas yelped.

The majority of the class turned to look at Draco Malfoy sitting in the back corner non-chalantly, Draco stared back at everyone challengingly with a raised eyebrow.

Nott soon broke in, 'Blaise, you seriously haven't kissed anyone in three months!?'

Blaise shrugged, 'Why would I want to kiss anyone but Draco,' he replied, batting his eyelashes outrageously at Draco, who rolled his eyes at his friend's antics.

'Maybe because you have been chasing after a Ravenclaw since that dare: I would have thought you'd have her convinced to kiss you by now!' Theo answered.

Blaise shrugged, 'She's illusive.'

'Huh? Are you gay or not?' Dean demanded.

'Bi actually, why are you interested?' Blaise asked.

'Hell yes!' Dean answered to the surprise of most of the room.

Blaise shrugged. 'Like he said,' with a gesture to Nott, 'I'm interested in someone else.'

Dean pouted in reply, and then grinned and looked towards Draco. 'How about you?' he asked the blond.

Draco looked at him and replied, 'I'm straight. Like Blaise said, it was a dare.'

'I could persuade you otherwise,' Dean replied suggestively. Hermione bristled slightly as Dean propositioned her boyfriend.

'No thank you, Thomas,' Draco replied, mimicking Hermione's earlier rejections.

Dean slumped into his chair and sulked.

'Thank you for volunteering, Mr Thomas: you and Miss Brown are next.'

Lavender dragged the back of her hand to her head and said, 'Professor, I'm not feeling well. Can I go to the hospital wing?'

'The spell will only take moment, then you may go and see Madam Pomfrey,' Professor Flitwick answered. 'You first, Miss Brown. Hold the wand a little lighter, there you go. You may attempt the charm.'

Lavender flicked her wand and words formed over Dean's head: no information.

A few eyebrows shot up at that.

'Didn't he date Ginny Weasley?' Theo asked quietly.

'Well, it's hardly surprising he didn't kiss her if he is gay,' Blaise replied.

Professor Flitwick called over the muttering group, 'One point to Gryffindor. Mr Thomas, please cast the charm on Miss Brown.'

Lavender buried her face in her hands, fingers tightly gripping her hair.

Nothing happened.

'Hmm, this time greater emphasis on the first letter,' Professor Flitwick said.

Still nothing.

'The first letter is a "v" not a "t", Mr Thomas,' Professor Flitwick clarified.

Dean attempted the charm again. A name began to form over Lavender's head: Vincent Crabbe.

'What the hell is that!' Ron shouted.

'Ron, I can explain,' Lavender begged.

'Explain!? Explain!? First, Harry is shoving his tongue down my baby sister's throat and now you, my girlfriend, are cheating on me! How could you do this to me!?' Ron shouted.

'I'm sorry, Ron, it's just that, Vince and Greg offered me a threesome and—'

'You had a threesome with Crabbe and Goyle!? While you were dating me!'

Lavender looked startled for a moment, like she didn't realise just she had said in her rush to obtain forgiveness. 'Sod it,' she muttered. Squaring her shoulders, she continued on louder, 'Fine, yes, I did. And you know what? It was aaamaazing.'

With that she flounced away from a gobsmacked Ron and nestled herself between Crabbe and Goyle. The two boys wrapped their arms around Lavender and sent a menacing look at Ron.

'But—but—I don't get it. Them!?' Ron stuttered.

Harry pattered his friend on the back consolingly.

Ron jumped away from him. 'I'm still angry at you for defiling my baby sister,' Ron snapped at Harry.

Harry lifted his hands, palms facing Ron, and shuffled his chair away from his unhinged friend.

An awkward chuckle came from the front of the room. The tiny professor looked most uncomfortable. 'Well, things have certainly changed from my day. Err, given all the…surprises…we have time for just one quick pair.'

Merlin, please not me, please not me, please not me, Hermione prayed.

'Miss Granger and Miss Padma Patil. I trust you two will be able to do the spell without much instruction.'

Hermione groaned as she pushed herself up and walked to the front of the room. She looked at Blaise and saw he was grinning smugly.

Poor Ron, today has been a rough day for him and it's about to get that bit worse, she thought.

'Miss Granger, you first please.'

Hermione cast the charm and a name formed over Padma's head: Pansy Parkinson.

Gasps swarmed the room.

'Hot!' Blaise cheered.

'Was it a dare?' Theo asked Pansy, who shook her head in denial. 'No, Padma and I are in love.'

Padma blushed lightly as Professor Flitwick quickly called the class to order.

'One point to Gryffindor. Miss Patil, the spell please.'

Hermione looked at Padma with resignation: knowing the other girl would perform the spell without any problem.

The name began to form over her head.

'Bloody Krum,' she heard Ron mutter. Nope, sorry Ron, it's not going to be Viktor's name.

'Malfoy!' startled voices sounded through the room.

She glanced at her smirking boyfriend.

'How dare you attack Mione and kiss her!' Ron bellowed.

'Oh, I didn't attack her,' Draco replied smugly.

'When someone says no and you proceed, it's an attack,' Ron snarled back, moving towards the blond and raising his fist.

'I agree, that would be an attack of the vilest kind. However, while I am sure many say no to you, Weasley, my girlfriend has never said no to me. In fact, if I recall correctly, if anyone was doing the attacking on our last kiss, it would have been Hermione: after all, it was her who yanked me into a deserted corridor on the way to class today,' Draco replied, smirk still firmly in place.

'Liar!' Ron accused.

'He isn't lying, Ron,' Hermione broke in as he neared her boyfriend, clearly intent of violence. 'I have been dating Draco for six months.'

Ron paused, looking bewildered for a moment, mouth opening and closing. However he was soon weaving through the desks towards the blond again. 'You cheated on Mione with Zabini, you bastard!'

Hermione flicked her wand and created a barrier around the still seated Draco, Ron scrambled around its edge to try and reach her boyfriend.

'It was a dare, Ron. And I okayed it before it took place: kind of hot if you think about it… not that I plan on sharing, Blaise,' Hermione added with a pointed look at the declared bisexual Slytherin. 'That kiss was a one off.'

Blaise winked at Hermione and she rolled her eyes in response. Her head snapping back to face her boyfriend when she heard a loud crash.

Draco was still cocooned safely within the barrier, sniggering at his would-be attacker. Ron, however, was tangled in a knocked over desk on the floor.

'Ron, what are you doing,' Hermione asked in exasperation.

'He tried going over the barrier,' Draco clarified.

'Ron, really,' Hermione huffed, 'how stupid do you think I am: of course the barrier is complete and I really doubt you can break through my magic.'

Ron frowned at Hermione and whined, 'But, I wanted to date you.'

'I have told you before, Ron, you are like a brother to me. I love Draco and am not going to break up with him just because you want me to. Now, I think Professor Flitwick is trying to get your attention for attempting to attack another student in his class.'

Ron looked horrified for a moment, realising he had done this in front of a professor who could punish him. The class bell rang as Ron turned to Professor Flitwick.

Draco left the barrier to join the class exodus from the room. The students were all mingling as they left: after so many secrets had been revealed, they were now on more common ground, and obviously all more accepting of other houses than openly assumed before the class began.

'So you and Granger, hey,' Theo said as he nudged Draco's side.

'Indeed,' Draco replied, wrapping his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders.

'Blaise, you totally knew, didn't you!' Theo asked.

'Yep, caught these two in Snape's classroom when I had prefect rounds one night,' Blaise replied.

'I didn't think you would have made a bet if you didn't have something on Granger here,' Theo commented.

Blaise smiled. 'Speaking of bets, how long do you think it will be before Weasley recalls the terms he agreed to?'

Harry piped up at this moment, 'I'm guessing while he is eating lunch – at the moment he will be stewing on the shock he received during class.'

'What – the masses of detention he is probably receiving from Professor Flitwick right now?' Padma suggested.

'Or that you're kissing his sister behind his back?' Theo asked.

'Or that the girl he is dating is involved with two Slytherins?' Blaise added.

'Or that I'm dating the girl he drools after and she is off the market for good?' Draco laughed.

'All of the above,' Harry replied ruefully. 'On the upside, it takes some of the heat off me and Ginny,' Harry added with a grin.

'Divide and conquer,' Theo said as he nodded sagely.

Everyone laughed as they made their way towards the Great Hall for lunch.

'So, off the market for good?' Hermione murmured to Draco.

'You better believe it,' Draco whispered in her ear. 'I love you and have no intentions of losing you. I'll fight for you as long as you love me, and I hope that is for a very long time.'

A satisfied smile spread over Hermione's lips as she replied, 'I think I can live with that.'

THE END

A/N: So what did you think?