For the Demonic Cat, because if I didn't finish this at some point she was probably going to rip my eyes out. Have a virtual cookie for your patience (::)
This is in no way related to the first Klarion fic. You have been warned. When it comes to Klarion and Teekl I'm as inconsistent as…Klarion and Teekl I guess.
Klarion had a problem. Okay, he had a lot of problems, but one in particular was affecting him right now.
He'd gone crazy. Well, crazier than usual.
Eh, semantics.
Klarion didn't usually skip, in public anyway. He was super serious about...well, nothing actually, but skipping didn't exactly inspire fear into the hearts of mortals. Ooh, fear, fun! But Chaos was even better.
Just thinking about Chaos sent a shower of red sparks showering through his addled brain. Klarion's shredded consciousness decided that had tickled and shrieked with laughter, the ear-splitting sound echoing off the dirty buildings around him.
Teekl was missing. The thought blew into his brain like a piece of floating ash but disintegrated before he could catch ahold of it. Not a second later even the memory of the thought was gone, replaced by another shower of red sparks. The shower quickly built up into a deluge, and then a flood roared forth and exploded from Klarion's left hand in a roiling, screaming wave of pure chaotic magic.
His mind cleared slightly, some of the red fire receding. The dirt, grime and lack of stupidly gawping civilians told him that he was in Gotham (everyone in Gotham had an overdeveloped sense of self-preservation), he was pretty sure he was supposed to be in a meeting with the Light (bah, screw that, those meetings contained way too much order and logic for his taste) and...and...the red magic crept back, eating away at any thought that was even approaching rational until any semblance of what made up Klarion was gone, replaced only with directionless Chaos. Which he liked, but he liked him being him more. Him existing? Existence in general? Oh who even cared, existentialism was so two centuries ago.
Something large slipped silently into the other end of the alley and Klarion turned to face it with a snarl. The small traffic light held up its hands. "It's okay Klarion, we just want to help you."
Klarion snarled again in response, a guttural, inhuman sound, an animal noise that ripped out of his throat and echoed around the alleyway.
A glowing gold figure floated down next to the talking traffic light, burning stars into Klarion's fire-filled red eyes. He winced and let out a pained hiss. Order magic, nasty. The sorceress's powers -for the magic definitely had the dangerous air of a woman- was neither large nor refined enough to pose him an actual threat, but it still hurt, like someone spitting on a fire. It wouldn't put out the flames, but even a small amount of water makes a fire hiss.
The pain of Order, however small, was enough to knock a little sense back into his mind. Not a lot of sense mind you, but Klarion had never had much in the first place. It was just enough sense to recognise that the traffic light and the sorceress were heroes. No, baby heroes, which was even worse, because if he killed them he'd wind up double dead. Which probably wouldn't be a fun thing.
"Alright Klarion, stay calm, your cat brought us to help you."
The golden girl looked at the traffic light expectantly, who just shrugged. "KF's supposed to be bringing it but he's always late as it is, never mind when he's got a demonic cat with personality issues on board. And we think the cat was trying to get us to help, it could've just been constipated for all we actually understood it."
Demonic cat. Something about that rang faintly familiar to Klarion. Was he a cat? He looked down at himself inquisitively. Well, he was pretty sure that cats didn't wear suits, so there was that. Not being a cat was pretty disappointing, but something about that phrase still niggled at him.
The red was encroaching again, sneaking in from all corners of his mind like he wouldn't notice. He did notice, obviously, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. Every spell he tried only added to the twitching mass, until all that remained of his consciousness was a tiny speck in a sea of red.
If there was one thing Klarion hated more than Order, it was being practically irrelevant. And between the tights talking about him and this cat without explaining anything, and this stupid red mass that he was going to kill the second he worked out how, he was feeling pretty damn irrelevant.
As if responding to his anger a howling dragon-shaped storm of red shot out of his left hand like a bullet from a gun, making Klarion jump as much as the heroes. The dragon roared its freedom, red eyes malicious and sharp teeth gleaming as it barrelled down the alleyway towards the two kids. A spurt of golden magic from a shaky spell rose up to meet the beast, but it was quickly devoured and the beast thundered on towards the two wide-eyed figures, ready to swallow them both whole. Klarion wasn't quite sure why his giggle split the air but-
The dragon vanished in a poof of smoke, and a smug looking ginger cat appeared in the middle of the alleyway, padding forward on silent paws with gleaming red eyes almost lighting up the darkness in front of it.
A yellow blur whooshed into view, coalescing into a visibly panicking Kid Flash. "GuysI'mreallysorrybutIlostthecatIthinkitmight've...teleported." Green eyes fixed on the cat and the speedster visibly relaxed in relief. "Oh, there it is. Never mind."
Klarion barely even registered Kid Flash's rambling, too busy staring at the cat in the alleyway.
Hello Klarion.
"Hello voice in my head. Can you leave, I'm trying to stare at this cat."
I am the cat, Klarion. My name is Teekl, and I'm your familiar.
"Well for a familiar you're not very familiar." Klarion cackled at his own joke, but his laughter tailed off after the cat -Teekl- fixed him with an unimpressed look. He had no idea why, but one look from this Teekl left him feeling chastised and slightly ashamed of himself. A spark of recognition flared, but it only illuminated the fact that the red mass was filling up his brain again, reducing his chances of making a proper connection with every second that passed. He was getting seriously angry with this red stuff.
You're feeling confused because some mortal got hold of some Bane metal and clapped it around your right wrist. Teekl used the word mortal with enough venom that it sounded like a synonym for idiotic bastard. But because you're a Lord of Chaos, you're far too powerful for it to simply shut down your magic like it's supposed to. Instead, it's turned your magic back on you and into your head.
That probably made sense...maybe. If he squinted. The red mass -no, the Chaos magic was sneaking back again, making Klarion clench his teeth in frustration. For the sake of the Creation Spark, could it just quit it already!
"So Teekl...Teekl, tickle, tickle Teekl, tick-"
Teekl yowled loudly enough that the heroes all winced and covered their ears, but she succeeded in knocking Klarion out of it. He concentrated on not noticing the archer on a nearby rooftop who was pointing a pathetic little arrow at him, or the stupid floaty invisible ship concealing another three heroes above his head, and tried to focus his remaining thoughts. "Bane metal, right. Do you by any chance mean the band that is burning a hole in my arm?!" Klarion held up in right hand and thrust it into a beam of dimp lamplight. Everyone present winced in sympathy, whether they wanted to or not.
His suit up to his elbow was gone, eaten through by something that left the fabric scorched and tattered, and the visible skin this revealed was covered in silvery scars. The closer they looked to the gleaming black band around Klarion's wrist, the more the heroes and the cat felt like vomiting. Bloody red furrows had been scraped into his forearm as he'd reflexively tried to tear the blasted thing off with his fingernails, and as he held up his hand ruby droplets coalesced to dribble down his arm and over patches of grotesquely bubbling flesh. The skin directly either side of the metal band was charred black and blistered, and overall Klarion's arm the appearance of being dragged through a fire which -ropes and stakes and rising flames and chanting villagers and his own mother in the front row smiling happily- wasn't something he really wanted to think about.
Yes, that's exactly what I mean Klarion, don't be dense. Klarion could swear he saw that cat roll her eyes as she cautiously padded towards him and curled around his feet.
He pouted at her lack of sympathy. "But it hurts!"
So does listening to you whine, Teekl snapped. Stop being such a wuss, we've had far worse.
"I don't think it counts if I don't remember it." Klarion was finding his attempts at repelling the Chaos wave a little less futile while talking to Teekl, and he was desperate to keep the conversation going.
Unfortunately for Klarion, the heroes were getting impatient, and it looked like Teekl was too, though for entirely different reasons. The heroes wanted to avert the danger that an even-more-out-of-control Klarion posed to Gotham, and Teekl wanted her partner in crime back to his usual self. Well, usual was a relative term when dealing with Klarion and his violent moodswings, but that was her Klarion dammit, the articulate, crazy sorcerer with his wicked sense of humour and humongous superiority complex, not this painfully woebegone, whiny little wimp. She wanted her Kitten back, even if her Klarion would dump a water bucket on her head for daring to call him that.
Also, if we don't hurry up and do something about that Bane metal, we're both going to die. For real.
"Ooh, I'm going to die. Well that sucks," Klarion pouted only semi-sarcastically.
"If he's just going to die, shouldn't we just leave? I mean you can't say the world wouldn't be better without him in it," Flash Boy whispered to his teammates.
Klarion didn't like whispering when it was about him, because it was rude. Unless he was doing the aforementioned whispering. He was just hypocritical like that.
All three heroes in the alleyway with the sorcerer took an instinctive step back as Klarion turned from having a seemingly one-sided conversation with his cat to smiling at them with a maniac's murderous smile and crazy eyes that burned like coals. "Oh dear, I wonder what happened to 'heroes save everyone'? But you might want to help me despite your concerns, because I'm a Lord of Chaos," Klarion and Teekl narrowed their eyes in malicious synchronisation, "and if I go down, this world is coming down with me."
There was a beat of silence.
"Well then," Robin said, pointedly glaring at his best friend, "what can we do to help?"
Klarion shrugged, Teekl taking the opportunity to jump up onto his shoulder and perch there like an overgrown furry parrot. "Don't ask me, I'm-" Klarion hissed as Teekl siphoned off some of the red and converted it into a ball of glowing red yarn, "-pathologically insane. Quit that you stupid cat, I'm trying to be imposing here."
Klarion knew he was screwed. He'd been a front row witness to Morgana Le Fey using Bane metal to force Merlin -the world's most powerful sorcerer in all of history- to commit himself to eternal slumber in order to stop himself and his Order magic from going nuclear. Klarion refused to be that guy; self-sacrifice didn't belong in his dictionary.
Well, since we know overloading it with Chaos magic won't work, because what do you think Klarion immediately tried when he realised what had been clapped onto his wrist, you could try combining your Chaos with… Order.
"Well it's not like Fate's gonna…" Klarion realised where's Teekl's attention was focused, and blanched. "You cannot be serious."
I'm totally serious. And I can't continue channelling your magic into blowing up monuments around Gotham forever, so make your decision. Quickly.
Klarion sighed in almost immediate defeat. As much as he truly despised Order, dying did sound worse. Marginally. And Teekl was right, he could feel his mental functions deteriorating with every minute that passed and the fiery pain in his arm was starting to spread again; if this was going to happen, it had to happen now. "Babymagic, give me your hand."
Each of the heroes visibly paled, the two boys stepping in front of the sorceress protectively and all the other 'hidden' goody two shoes pointed their weapons square at Teekl's chest. Klarion lazily batted away a mental attack from the Martian and crossed his arms impatiently, rocking back one one leg and tapping his other foot. The heroes' decision was inevitable, the only question was just how long they were going to insist on arguing about it.
"She's not coming anywhere near you," Robin snarled, expression heavy with distrust as he brandished various weapons in the chaotic duo's direction.
Klarion rolled his eyes -young love was so obnoxious. Blatantly ignoring the Bird, Klarion focused his gaze on Babymagic, red eyes meeting cautious blue ones, and raised one questioning eyebrow.
Zatanna frowned in thought. "Okay, but why?
Flash Boy rounded on the sorceress with wide, disbelieving eyes, while Robin kept his fierce gaze fixed squarely on the Witch-Boy.
"What?! You aren't seriously suggesting that you're gonna do anything Freak Voodoo suggests?"
The girl and the immortal continued watching each other carefully, but neither said anything.
The redhead threw up his hands. "C'mon Zee, he's a freaking supervillain with a demonic cat, he's almost definitely got some evil scheme going that requires your magic and a human sacrifice or something."
"Don't flatter me Flash Boy, if my ego gets any bigger you'll get pushed out of this alley and leave poor, defenceless Babymagic undefended against my extreme levels of evilness." Klarion siphoned off enough Chaos energy to create a nuclear bomb, and used it all to stop him rolling his eyes. "Chaos' sake kid, don't be so ridiculous, I'm not enough of a martyr to risk blowing myself up for the sake of some half-baked plan; I'm perfectly capable of organising a kidnapping if I wanted something from Blue Eyes under normal circumstances."
"How long do you...do we have?" Zatanna asked slowly, visibly weighing up saving the world with trusting Klarion even for a split second.
About five hours, Teekl informed her partner, but Gotham will be gone in three.
"Half an hour," Klarion lied flawlessly, managing to fool even the Boy Blunder just this once. Hey, a thousand years of lying his way out of tricky situations had given him a lot of practice.
"And why exactly do you need me?"
Klarion almost gouged out his eyes in frustration; who cared if Babymagic was being sensible, sensible was taking far too long! Besides, it was so unbearably lame. The Chaos was still consuming him, and holding it at bay by blowing up public monuments around the United States (Gotham's were long gone by that point) was only going to work for so long before he ran out of monuments. "Because I'm going to get your nasty Order magic," Klarion shuddered, "to chase mine into the Bane metal and then I'm going to turn tail and smash Order and Chaos together in a confined space and mimic the reaction that caused the Big Bang. And if you can't comprehend that, I haven't decided who's skull I'm going to slam through a wall first."
"'Magic' didn't kickstart the universe, science did. Magic is just science we don't understand yet."
Even Robin rolled his eyes at his best friend, while Teekl fought the urge to do something really magical. Like...oopsie, blowing up the Flash statue in Central City. Teekl let out the cat equivalent of a giggle at the happy accident.
"Kid Flash, if you don't have anything useful to say, shut up. Klarion," Zatanna closed her eyes reluctantly, "is right."
The sorcerer in question just about resisted doing a celebratory dance. Finally, they were getting somewhere.
"But," she said sharply, and there was power in her voice, a self-confidence Klarion had never heard from her before, "if you try anything, if you or your cat so much as twitch in an untoward direction, I'll summon Dr. Fate," both sorcerers winced at the name but the girl powered on, "and we can see just how nicely he deals with you in your weakened state."
"Oh, I like that threat." Klarion grinned and took a step forward, much to the concern of the other heroes. "It was quite a good threat, I'm actually impressed. For a hero, anyway." Teekl coughed in feline agreement. "So, are you going to come over here, or do I have to come and get you." The way he eyed up Robin and Kid Flash told them that he wouldn't go around them so much as through them. Both boy's settled into their respective fighting stances, bird-a-rangs at the ready and goggles being pulled down over green eyes.
"Zee, you don't have to-"
"What, and let the planet blow up? I'm a hero, Robin, and I will make my own decisions." The young woman glared at her teammates in turn until they both stepped aside, albeit reluctantly, and she walked between them with all the poise and grace of a queen.
It seemed as though Klarion was making Zatanna come to him because he thought himself superior. In reality, it was because if he stepped forward he was going to collapse to his knees, and he refused to show such a sign of weakness in front of his enemies. It was bad enough that he needed the Order Brat's help, there was no way in hell or Roanoke he was going to kneel in front of her.
"So," Zatanna murmured, quietly enough that it seemed as though she was only speaking to Klarion, "what do we do now?"
"You take my hand, and Teekl and I do the rest."
"Haha, funny." Klarion just looked at Zatanna until she realised he wasn't joking. "Really?"
"Does it seem as though I'm in a position to be joking?"
Zatanna took a deep breath, her heart thudding audibly in her chest, making feline ears twitch. Teekl rolled her eyes. Mortals, so nervous all the time. What was the point - what have nerves ever done for anyone? "I'm serious about calling Fate if you try anything."
"And I'm seriously over being threatened already." Klarion gave a perfect replication of Teekl's eyeroll. "Could you hurry up already?"
With one last glance over her shoulder at her boyfriend -ew, gross- Zatanna placed her tanned hand over Klarion's freakishly pale one, looking for all the world as though she thought it would bite her. Which it wouldn't. Probably.
Finally, Teekl purred, a trace of nervousness in her tone that only Klarion would ever notice, however much she tried to disguise it, let's get this over with.
Red eyes met blue ones, and Klarion, for some reason unbeknownst to him, decided to give the girl a chance of survival. "Don't forget to breathe."
"Don't forget to-?!"
The world exploded with light before she could even finish her sentence.
Rude.
(*I*I*I*)
Wow, headrush.
"You're telling me."
Klarion and Teekl were faintly smoking, whisps of grey peeling off their forms. Zatanna was smoking quite violently, her whole form almost completely obscured by grey smoke. The other groaning heroes scattered in and around the alley were slightly on fire, flames flickering here and there on their garishly coloured outfits. Downtown Gotham was definitely on fire, the whole horizon roaring with flames (though for downtown Gotham that wasn't an unusual occurrence).
Klarion rolled his joints, inhumanely loud cracks reverberating around the confined space. "Oh, that feels so much better."
Teekl sniffed at the shattered, smoldering remnants of the Bane metal cuff with utter disgust radiating off her. I'm sending this right back where it belongs. She hissed vehemently, and a howling red portal opened up in the pavement below the pieces, sucking in the deceptively harmless looking metal shards before disappearing with a 'pop'.
The Chaotic duo examined their surroundings, and a hint of a frown crossed Klarion's face as he beheld the unconscious sorceress who had helped him. Even with that, his voice held no real concern when he asked, "Is she breathing?"
Teekl nosed along Babymagic's comatose form. I think so, but I'm no expert in this mortal stuff.
"And I am?" Klarion retorted.
"What the hell did you do to her?!" The yell was so loud, so angry and so unexpected that Teekl -with her sensitive feline hearing- jumped three feet in the air, all the hair on her back standing on end. Klarion sighed, and crossed his arms. Bird Boy was on his feet, domino mask trained on his girlfriend with a combination of fury and horror marring his features. Ugh, someone should seriously needed to make a law against young love. The Gotham hero hadn't even noticed that he was on fire due to his complete focus on the sorceress (though again, for Robin being on fire wasn't an unusual occurrence).
"She's fine."
Probably.
"Maybe." Klarion shrugged, his manner blasé. "She's just magically exhausted; all the energy's been sucked out of her -literally. Give her a few days, she'll be just as useful as she always was." The Lord of Chaos smirked. "So not very."
"A few days?" Robin was aghast, but his expression quickly hardened into a bat-glare. "Fix her, now," he demanded, "she's not the only one who can call Fate down on your ass."
"Can't." Klarion began to examine his nails, already bored with the conversation. "Wouldn't if I could."
The hero drew himself up to his full height (which wasn't all that impressive), radiating righteous indignation almost as well as Superman. "Zatanna just saved your life, asshole, the very least you can do is help her recover!"
We do kind of owe her according to the Ancient Laws, Teekl reluctantly added. And even we can't argue with the Ancient Laws.
"Well Chaos just doesn't work like that," Klarion snapped, "it can only break things, not put them back together."
Teekl's red eyes gleamed with the beginnings of a perfect idea. What about giving her something she desperately wants? That should fulfill the Ancient debt. The cat pressed an image of a spell and it's consequences into her partner's head. We still have that trick we were saving for a rainy day.
Klarion's face lit up, his unhealthy delight causing the flames flickering all around them to suddenly grow brighter. "That's perfect...oh, and Nabu...Teekl, that's the best idea you've had all century!"
Teekl purred in self-satisfaction. Why thank you. Although I do maintain that my best idea was the never-empty tuna can.
"And I still maintain…" Klarion caught sight of Robin's hand twitching towards his comm and realised that, as much as he wanted to, there wasn't enough time to have this argument for the millionth time. "Nevermind, we'll continue that when we get home. The sorcerer clicked his fingers and a small piece of yellowed parchment appeared in midair and fluttered down to land on Zatanna's outstretched fingers. An uncharacteristically human expression flickered in Klarion's eyes as he stared down the Boy wonder and muttered, "Make sure she gets that."
By the time Robin had dashed forward to stop the piece of parchment fluttering away in the nighttime breeze, Klarion and his creepy cat had vanished.
The hero stood alone in the alleyway full of his unconscious friends, the Gotham skyline smoking merrily away in the middle distance with only one thought on his mind.
What the hell was he supposed to tell Batman?
(*I*I*I*)
When Zatanna awoke from her week-long coma, she didn't even complain about the strictly enforced bedrest -she was so busy poring over that piece of parchment that she barely noticed. What the hell was it? Her first problem had been deciphering Klarion's frankly appalling handwriting, but even after that she had no idea what it was. A spell most probably, but a spell for what? Immortality? Increasing her powers? A new, improved way to order ice cream? All three options were equally viable for all Zatanna knew, and she knew to never, ever try a spell unless she was 100% sure what it did, how it worked and how to execute it without blowing up.
She scoured spellbooks, hunted through the JLA archives, interrogated Jason Blood. She tried the forbidden books in her dad's library, asked anyone and everyone versed in the mystic arts, hell, she even got desperate enough to try the Internet. Her search got to the stage where Batman and Black Canary tried to confiscate the parchment 'for her own good', and she nearly bit their heads offin reply. This was important -the way her magic thrummed through her veins when she so much as thought about the spell's wording told her that much- but Zatanna just couldn't figure out the how or the why.
It was two months before she caved. Two months of concerned looks and 'understanding' conversations and that stupid spell mocking her day and night. Two months until she called in the big guns. Two months until she summoned Dr. Fate.
The sight of the Lord of Order possessing her father's body as he floated through the door made Zatanna sick to her stomach, as it always did no matter the situation. Nabu spoke to her shortly, curtly and with a razor sharp edge of cool condescension that was a painful polar opposite to the warm, kind and understanding Giovanni Zatara that brought her up. Dr. Fate seemed far less interested in trying to help Zatanna figure out the spell than lecturing her about helping Klarion (which made her doubly sure that it had been the right thing to do). It was only as Nabu was leaving, that pretentious gold cape billowing out behind him, that the pieces clicked. Blue eyes sparkled with hope as, for the first time, Zatanna dared to speak the spell aloud.
"Asanama ti bitsala fora mi!"
She hadn't been able to make head or tail of the nonsense, gibberish spell before that moment, but as her father's blue eyes sparked with an emotion other than righteous fury under that gold helmet for the first time in nearly two years, she knew that she had guessed correctly.
"Zatanna?" Her father's voice -the voice that had sung her to sleep in lilting Italian for so many years- echoed strangely inside that gold helmet, but it was his voice, and that was all she cared about.
"Dad! Oh Dad, I've missed you so much!" Zatanna cried in emotional Italian, tears pricking at the corners of blue eyes as she flung herself across the room and wrapped her arms around him like a vice.
Dr Fate's outfit faded from the mortal realm and was replaced by Giovanni's familiar suit, the all-powerful Lord of Order's connection to his mortal host severed by a few clever words from a novice in the most secret of languages.
And as Nabu's helmet fell to the floor from fingers that were trembling in relief, and Zatanna buried her face in her dad's chest, she sent every silent blessing she had ever heard to Klarion and Teekl.
(*I*I*I*)
"Ew. That was revoltingly sentimental."
Agreed, Teekl sniffed. We could've done that ourselves with half the emotion, half the time and twice the dramatic flair.
In a personal pocket dimension about as far away from the earthly realm as was mystically possible, two immortal Chaos sorcerers watched the heartwarming reunion of father and daughter with disdainful eyes.
Ah well, at least Babymagic is grateful.
"With the old geezer momentarily out of the picture, I really don't care what Blue Eyes thinks. We've won."
Teekl let her eyes narrow in warning. Don't start getting cocky, Klarion. You know what happened last time you got cocky.
Klarion waved a hand dismissively, already plotting all the Chaos he could create in his nemesis' absence. "Ah, shuddup you stupid cat."
I'm so going to enjoy telling you 'I told you so'.
Review?