Sawada Nana's death was unexpected. A hit-and-run, especially in a sweet little town like Nanimori, was very rare. Regardless, it had happened. And Sawada Tsunayoshi couldn't take it back.

He knew it wasn't his fault. If it had been, it would have destroyed him. But as it was, Tsuna had been broken in a different way. He was nine years old, and had grown up with only his loving mother for a friend. The other children often bullied him for his somewhat feminine looks and clumsy habits, and the insecure boy was always excluded from games. He relished the time he spent with his kaasan. She was the one who hugged him when he felt lonely, or bandaged his knee when he tripped. She was the one who smiled at him and squealed 'Kawaii!' at random times. She was the one he trusted and loved with all his heart.

And then she had died.

It wasn't his fault, he knew, because it was his otosan to blame. He was the one Mama had been so hyped up to meet. Mama had put on her favourite dress, and the expensive necklace his supposedly poor papa had gifted her with. When Tsuna commented that she might get cold, his kaasan had pulled on her husband's old jacket, and pecked him on the forehead for being so considerate. She'd given him her routine tight embrace, and ruffled his hair. Tsuna had nervously asked what his kaasan would do if otosan was late, or didn't show up, as he often did, but his mama laughed the idea off. She was an optimist, unlike him, and tended to see the best in people. She had told him that she and otosan were just going on a date in a lovely restaurant, and that they'd be back by 9. She giggled then, and commented on the fact that her cute Tsu-chan would be going on dates soon enough, and Tsuna had blushed. Pessimism tickling him, Tsuna gave his kaasan one last hug, before watching her skip out the door.

It had been 7pm then. Only half-an-hour later, as Tsuna was struggling through his homework, the phone rang. It was a cheerful tune, about the brilliant sakura blossoms falling in the dull rain. Tsuna had slouched into the hallway, discouraged by his failure in math. Reaching up on his tippy-toes, he swiped at the phone in an attempt to reach it. Clumsily, he shoved it off the tall counter and it fell to the ground. Sheepishly, he picked it up, looking around as though someone could have seen his mistake. "Kaasan needs to put the phone somewhere I can reach," he whined, embarrassed. He put the device to his ear, answering the call.

Minutes later, the phone clattered to the ground. "Tsunayoshi? Please, Tsunayoshi, pick up the phone. Are you alright? Sawada Tsunayoshi?" His neighbour's voice crackled through the phone, but Tsuna made no move to pick it up.

"Kaa…san…" He whispered, dropping to his knees. "W-why?" His neighbour had gasped, fallen silent, and hung up. "It can't be… it can't… she can't…" He sobbed, hugging his legs to his chest. "Mama…"

The phone rang again, and shakily, Tsuna picked it up.

"H-h-hello?" He hiccupped.

"Tsu-chan! It's your otosan! Tell Nana-chan that I'm sorry I couldn't come today… Tsu-chan? Tsu?"

Tsuna had hung up.

It was probably the most painful night of his life. Nobody had come to take him away, and Tsuna had never felt lonelier. He trudged out of the kitchen, and tripped up the stairs. He gave a cursory knock on Nana's door, and winced. He slipped into the room, and drowned himself in the soft blankets, sniffing and weeping with only the intimate scent of kaasan's perfume for comfort.

The next morning felt even worse, and Tsuna stumbled around in autopilot. He made himself a light, simple breakfast, and ate it mechanically. It tasted of nothing, and slopped down his throat in a grotesque manner. He prepared himself for school, throwing disarray books and uncompleted homework into his bags. Upon leaving the house, he heard his neighbours gossiping about the death of someone on their street. Tsuna's head whipped up when he realized they weren't talking about his kaasan, but rather the kind man who had been considerate enough as to call him to tell him about the misfortune. In fact, no one mentioned his kaasan. It hadn't been that Nana was unpopular, she was rather a friendly shadow on the street. But to dismiss her death (his own kaasan's death…) so hurriedly was disgusting. Tsuna wiped a stray tear from his head and scowled, telling himself not to care. He'd be sure not to talk to them again.

In school things were just as bad. The teachers gave out to him for not completing his homework, and his schoolmates had laughed and jeered. Somehow, Tsuna kept himself from showing how much it all hurt. He was beginning to feel very empty.

Nobody asked him about his kaasan, and he realized no one would. He also came to the conclusion that he wasn't going to be picked up by the social services. And that he was alone. So very alone.

When school end, he shuffled through the yard. Today he would walk home by himself. All the other children's parents greeted them, smiling and laughing, and Tsuna could have cried. What had they done to deserve parents? What did they do they he didn't? He wiped at his eyes fiercely, sniffling. He felt angry at himself for being so pathetic- kaasan would be ashamed. She'd want him to be happy, he understood. She'd want him to move on. And maybe he could. Just not yet. And never as the same person he had been only yesterday.

A shriek jarred him out of his thoughts, and he turned to see a group of boys from his class crowding around someone. Girls giggled from the side lines, and the teachers were turning a blind-eye. The wide-eyed redhead staring at his attackers reminded Tsuna of himself, and the boy came to a halt. He couldn't let the other child be hurt right in front of him.

As he moved forwards, his brain screamed at him to stop. He was weak- he couldn't protect the other boy! He'd be beat up in the process, no matter what the outcome was. But his legs continued towards the group, and his mind stopped resisting and allowed autopilot to take over.

"Stop that!" He ordered, his voice losing its usual squeak. The boys ignored him, and the girls sniggered. Tsuna felt his eyes narrow, and the fury that had been building up inside him exploded. "Stop!" He yelled, anger flashing in his eyes like lightning, as they flickered orange. Two flaming orbs glared at the Nanimori students, and they stared in surprise.

One child recovered quicker than the rest, and snorted derisively. "Get lost Dame-Tsuna!"

"No. Not until you leave him alone," Tsuna said, voice steady.

"No way!" Retorted one, laughing.

"As if, no-good Tsuna!"

"Go away, Baka-Tsuna!"

"Yeah, stupid-Tsuna! Get back to your mama!"

Tsuna froze, and his heart pounded in his chest. Kaasan… Once again, he moved mindlessly towards the offending boy.

"You baka..." Tsuna hissed, grabbing the startled boy's collar, and, with strength he didn't know he had, he drove his fist into the other's face. The two body parts collided with a resounding crack, and the bully fell backwards.

His eyes, now a clear orange, flicked to the rest of the gang, and they scuttled back. None of them bothered to aid their injured friend, but rather ran away. Tsuna heard himself scoff, unimpressed, and moved over to the boy on the ground.

The child blinked dazedly up at him from the ground. "You're the one they call Dame-Tsuna…"

"And?" Tsuna growled uncharacteristically. Pain demands to be felt, and though Tsuna felt a large amount of relief at opposing his bullies, his hands shook with anger.

The boy yelped, putting his hands up in surrender. "I-I didn't mean it like that," he said guiltily. "It's the only thing I know about you…"

"And who are you?" Tsuna softened his tone, knowing his kaasan wouldn't want him venting out his feelings on the innocent boy. He let his apology show through his eyes, from which the orange was fading.

"Oh, I'm Irie Shoichi," the other said shyly.

"You're the smart one," Tsuna remembered, smiling slightly. Kaasan had doted on the little prodigy every time they'd passed him and his family, and Tsuna used to feel a little jealous. No more, though, he reminded himself. Kaasan wouldn't want it. Shoichi flinched at the title.

"Y-yeah," he said uncomfortably.

"Why do you sound so embarrassed? You are smart," Tsuna said, in an as-a-matter-of-factly fashion. "Like, really smart." Shoichi stared at Tsuna and his transition, from such a frightening figure to a doe-eyed boy with awe in his voice. He looked away uncertainly.

"Ano~," Shoichi hummed, turning red. "Thank you, Sawada-kun. If you hadn't…" he paused, and shuddered, holding his stomach. Tsuna helped him to his feet, and the other gratefully thanked him again. "I owe you," he finished.

Tsuna beamed back, eyes big and chocolatey. Suddenly he had an idea. "Um, Shoichi-kun?"

The other boy blinked at the familiarity in the term, and gave him a half-smile. "Yes, uh… Tsuna-sama?"

"Kun," Tsuna corrected immediately. He beamed at Shoichi. "I don't suppose you could help me with my studies…?"

"Oh," Shoichi considered it. "Of course, Tsuna-kun."

The wide grin he gained in return made it all the more worth it.

Together, they walked to their respective homes, the newly donned 'Sho-kun' disappearing down a different street to meet with his loving family while Tsuna continued straight. When he entered the house, the emptiness returned. Blankly, he did his homework as well as he could, hoping he'd be able to get some help from Shoichi the next morning. They had promised to meet outside Shoichi's apartment in the morning, where they planned to look over Tsuna's work and learn more about each other until it was time to leave for school.

But what was he to do until then? And what if Sho-kun didn't even show?

Tsuna decided he didn't want to think, and was about to retire up to his kaasan's room for the second time when the phone rang again. Hands shaking, Tsuna took it in his hands and placed it to his ear. "H-h-hello?" He said, cursing his stammering voice. He had to be brave for Nana. He just had to.

"Tsunayoshi-kun? I am an associate of your father. I regret to tell you that he has become a star and-"

Tsuna threw the phone away from him, and ran up the stairs into his kaasan's room.

Next morn' he rose early. He cleaned up the room, choking on a sob as he neatly folded his kaasan's apron and left it on her chair. He made the bed, and left his teddy, Natsu, on the pillow. He kissed Natsu's head, fondly, and took the key, locking Nana's door for the last time. He refused to cry, and laid his palm against her door, as though he and his kaasan were holding hands once more. Turning, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His eyes were cold, and no longer brown. Tsuna fell back, against the door, blinking in shock at the two slit orange organs glowering back at him.

Tsuna let out his girly scream for the last time. It took him a moment to calm down, before he simply accepted it. Kaasan would call it handsome, he chuckled monotonously.

His eyes, for such fires, were so dark.

Four years later, those eyes had yet to regain their light.

Sawada Tsunayoshi was the enigma of Nanimori Middle. He was uniquely good-looking in a way no other boy was. His eyes were a unique deep amber, low-lidded and surreptitious. He was relatively short, yet the way he held himself made him seem strong, and even threatening. He rarely spoke in class, but had immaculate marks. The only person he chose to consort with was Irie Shoichi, who was the infamous nerdy social outcast. The girls loved his mysteriousness, and the romantic melancholy that followed him.

Of course, Tsuna was completely unaware. As he had matured with only loneliness and the intelligent Shoichi for company, he had grown into a quiet and thoughtful boy. His newfound smarts gave him courage, and a feeling of pride that he felt his kaasan would share. Only after her death had he felt the need to impress her, so much so that it was almost constricting. One flaw, that he knew Nana would look down on, was his habit of holding grudges. He'd never been invited to otosan's funeral, and was unable to make peace with the man. He was somewhat bitter of a child, and never noticed the respect others held for him after he left his Dame-Tsuna years.

His eyes were clandestine, and the only explanation those around him could consider were either a use coloured contacts or a bad infection. His schoolmates and neighbours had learned to accept the odd shade, and most couldn't remember his eyes ever being another colour.

However, what was most impressive about the Sawada boy was his powerful ability to block out emotion, and simply not care. He ran on raw instinct for the most of the time, rather than relying on feelings. Though he couldn't help loving his kaasan, and perhaps his only true friend, Sho, he'd realized that Nana never would have left and been killed if she hadn't loved his otosan. Love held him back from stopping her. Love killed his kaasan.

And as Tsuna stared at her door, now thirteen years of age and sour with grief, he decides love can go to hell. He knows it would take him with it.

Dia duit mo chairde! KHR has been one of my obsessions for a while know, and I watched the first sixty episodes in a week. However, it has been months since then, and I am nearly finished the wondrous anime. I don't usually care much for anime, but KHR and Death Note are special. Seeing that I'm not all that used to writing in such a style, I hope you'll forgive me for any bad grammar or spelling when it comes to honorifics and such. Thank you, and wish me luck in my exams!