Okay judge me all you want, but I have been watching lot of TLC lately, and there's this program that a woman sells houses to naked people. The nude community. So I am basically going to force our two lovely main characters from OUAT to try it out. Let's see how this will turn out!

Enjoy! – Sorry for any typo.

Chapter 1: Nude community?!

Nude Community – Hotel

"I can't believe you brought me to a nude community, Swan!" Regina shouted through her clenched teeth as she also managed to keep it an angry whisper.

"I am sorry, ok! How the hell was I supposed to know it was a nude community? The hotel seemed pretty fancy and so did the rest." Emma also replayed through her clenched teeth and kept it as a desperate whisper.

But why were the two whispering like that? Well they had the doorman of the hotel naked right in front of them, and they were helping the two of them out with their bags into the elevator and let's say they were both trying to not be disgusted whenever the man decided to bent down to put the bags on the ground.

Let's go back and see how they got themselves into this mess…

Way back in Storybrooke

"You know you could convince mom to come with us." Henry said to Emma, as the fourteen year old boy was playing ps3 with his other mother, Emma.

Emma perked up an eyebrow and looked at her son for an instant before look back at the TV screen. "I don't know, little man. Your mother has terrible mood swings towards me and I doubt she wants to spend an entire week out of Storybrooke." Emma and Regina still had their terrible annoying moments, let's just say Emma is super skilled on annoying Regina or breaking her stuff; and as much as the blonde tries to create some kind of friendship with the brunette, things always go wrong and sometimes Emma believes Regina only keeps her around because of Henry.

"Oh come on, she isn't that bad. After you started telling her where you take me when we spend time together, she has been more calm." Henry said as at the end of his words he won against his mother and that made him grin and whisper a big yes before place the remote over the table and turn his head at Emma. "Plus the barrier isn't around us anymore, so she can totally leave and come back whenever she wants to. I think it's gonna be pretty epic."

Emma looked up at the ceiling and shrugged before fold her arms and look back at Henry. "You think so, buddy? Maybe she will accept it. But I will need your help to prepare this, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. No problem, mom!" Henry jumped slightly on his seat over the couch as he showed a big smile.

Emma simple chuckled and ruffled his hair.

…

Later on that day, Emma dropped Henry at the Granny's and went to buy some grocery, since Henry didn't want to do that boring stuff and would rather stay at Grannys, being around Ruby and drinking his hot chocolate.

So Henry was at one of the seats by the balcony as he watched Ruby cleaning it. "So Ruby, the Operation NC is ready to go, I convinced Emma to talk to my mom about the week vacation. Did you found any place for it?"

Ruby looked up at the boy and smirked. "Of course, there's a community not far from here and has a great and not that expensive Hotel."

"Great! Now we have to think about a great excuse for me not being able to go with them." Henry looked down at his hot chocolate as he began to rub his chin while thinking.

"Hmn…" Ruby also got herself into the work to find an excuse for Henry.

The Operation NC, is basically the Operation Nude Community, but nobody needs to know about that name so Henry made that up. Henry really wants his two mothers together, not only as friends but also as lovers, because he just wants to be a family with them and he also has one friend at school that has two mothers and she told him lots of funny stuff she has with her mothers and he wants to witness the same with his two mothers.

"Oh! What if you already had planned going camping with a friend?" Ruby quickly suggested as she looked at Henry.

Henry pressed his lips together and looked up at Ruby. "Hmn, mom would probably force me to cancel it to go with her, or cancel the vacations."

"Yeah, you right…hmn."

"Oh! What if I am camping with YOU! And then you tell my mom you will drop me at that hotel on the next day or something?" Henry's eyes were basically sparkling as he looked at Ruby.

"Yo, Henry boy. I don't think your mother trusts me enough to have you camping with me and then go in a trip with you. You should ask your grandparents for that." Ruby told Henry as she went prepare a coffee.

"That's it, Ruby! You are a genius! Snow and David can stay with me, and even if my mom doesn't like that much, they are my grandparents and it has been awhile since we've spent some time alone." Henry picked up his hot chocolate and drank it all, leaving his upper lip dirty.

"That's clever, Henry. Good luck with that!" Ruby shouted over her shoulder because Henry was already off his seat and leaving the store to go find Snow and Charming.

…

Back at Regina's office, Emma stood in front of the door, just taking a deep breath and fixing her leather red jacket as she thought over and over what to say to Regina to quickly convince her on coming with her and Henry to a week vacation; well if she spoke about spending time with Henry maybe that'd buy Regina, let's just hope it will.

"Regina." Emma quickly said as she open the door, her eyes got the sight of the brunette, writing on some papers and wearing some dark glasses; and as much as Emma tried to block her mind from admiring Regina's beauty, she couldn't at this moment, because the woman looked way too desirable to ignore.

So while Emma was basically drooling all over the beautiful sight, Regina frowned and looked up at Emma as her glasses were lowered over the tip of her nose. "Miss Swan, you need to stop with that horrible habit of stepping in without knocking."

Emma closed her mouth and blinked twice, quickly snapping out of her daydream. "Hmn, sorry. I wanted to talk to you about something."

Regina finished writing her sentence and then took a deep breath as she lowered the pen and removed her glasses. "I am listening." She straightened up her back and placed her both hands over the table.

Emma couldn't help but feel kind of disappointed that Regina had removed her glasses. "Well you see…I am going to take Henry for an entire week vacation on the beginning of this summer vacations…and huh…he wants you to come too."

Regina frowned slightly and eyed Emma. "Why you seem so uncomfortable about this?"

"Me? Uncomfortable? No, no, no! God no…it's just I thought by now you had thrown me across the room or something." Emma laughed nervously at the end of her words.

Regina wrinkled her nose as she tilted her head to the side. "Right, if I wanted to do that I'd already done it on the very moment you stepped in without knocking."

Emma rolled her eyes and sighed out. "Yeah, okay, got it. Sorry about that mom, I will knock next time."

"Please do not call me mom again, that automatically makes me think about Snow, and gods forbid me to be Snow." Regina moved her hand like she was swatting the thought away.

"Oh please, Regina. You don't even believe in gods."

"Miss Swan are you here to discuss about my atheist life?"

"No, I am here to talk to you about the vacation thing. Will you come or not?"

"I am afraid I won't be able to." Regina picked up her glasses and put them back on as she picked up the pen as well and kept on writing.

Emma frowned slightly. "Why not?"

"Because I will be busy working."

"Come on, you work all the time. Don't you have vacations?"

"I do, but I don't plan on spending them with you."

"Hey! I am not a bad company."

"No, Miss Swan. You are more an annoying, out-standing company." Regina looked up at Emma once again.

"Oh, I like that out-standing part." Emma grinned.

"I don't mean it on a good way." Regina's view went back to the papers.

Emma huffed out and felt like just throwing her arms around to see if she could push the frustration away. "Come on, Regina. Henry wants to spend time with his mother."

"He will be spending time with you."

"His other mother."

"I will spend time with him, but only me and him."

"You really don't want me in the plans do you?" Emma folded her arms as she frowned slightly, feeling a bit offended and upset right now.

Regina closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she leaned back on her chair and folded her arms as well. "It's not that I don't want you in my plans, Miss Swan. It's just that you have the skill to always ruin something that is going extremely well; so excuse me if I want happy, relaxing vacations."

"I promise I will be a good girl."

"I wish that'd be true."

"It is! Believe me, I won't mess anything; everything will be perfect just like you want it, Henry will help me out too, and then in the end you can check everything to see if it's alright, okay?"

Regina looked down at her lap as she gave one last thought before look back up at Emma. "Fine, I will go, as long as you keep your promise and be a 'good' girl."

Emma bit her lower lip and smiled as she felt like a yelp of happiness would escape her lips. "Yes! Thank you so much, Regina. I promise you, you won't regret this." Emma said as she was already leaving the office.

When the door closed, Regina leaned back front to the table and continued her work. "I hope not."

…

"Grandpa! Grandma!" Henry shouted out as he rushed into the apartment of his grandparents and mother. He threw his arms at David and gave him a strong hug, before doing the same with Snow.

Snow and David were shocked by the young boy's action, they just stared speechless at each other; already feeling something was coming. Henry was a good boy, yes, but he wasn't this all cuddly with his grandparents, unless he wanted something.

"Hey buddy, what's up?" David asked as he folded his arms and smiled down at his grandson.

"Well you see, I wanted to spend some time with my grandparents. A grandparents and grandson bonding time!" He looked at them with a big smile.

Snow smiled and brought her palms together. "That's wonderful, Henry! I had that idea long time ago, but I was unsure of what you would think about it; and you know me and Charming don't want to bother you."

"No, no, no. You won't bother me at all. I think we should go camping for a weekend or something, don't you guys think?"

"Yeah sure, Henry. We can do that right this weekend." David shrugged.

"No! Let's do it on the first week of my summer vacations, because you know…I am busy studying and all soo…." Henry forced a smile as he tried to cover it with a lie.

David frowned and pressed his lips together, like he felt Henry was lying.

Snow was simple glad that the young boy was paying more attention to the studies and his responsibilities than his birth mother. "Sure, Henry! First worry about school then we plan everything."

"Awesome!"

…

"Mom, mom, mom! I found the perfect Hotel, come take a look!" Henry called out for his birth mother as he could already hear Emma's footsteps coming to his room.

Emma stood behind her son and lowered her front body as she began to take a look at the website of the hotel Henry was looking at. "Oh, seems very fancy. Your mother will be overjoyed with this, but won't it be a little too expensive?"

"No, mom. We request a room with two beds, it's cheaper."

Emma folded her arms and tilted her head to the side as she kept looking at the images and seeing the table prices. "Humn, you right. You can sleep with your mother and I sleep on the other bed. Good job, Henry." Emma ruffled her boy's hair and smiled down at him.

"Thanks, mom." Henry chuckled as he looked up at his mother. "Do you want me to take care of the reservation? I know how to work with this."

"Oh, will you do that for me? Thanks, I am going to be late for some horrible sheriff meeting again." Emma said as she removed her credit card and handed it to Henry.

"No problem, mom! I got this."

…

And just on the night before going to the vacations, Henry broke the news that he was going to spend the weekend camping with his grandparents but Snow and David agreed on taking Henry to the hotel on Monday.

"No." Regina quickly spoke as she stood firm on her spot and folded her arms.

"Come on, mom. You will have fun; don't cancel everything because of me." Henry pouted as he lowered his back and left his arms hanging.

"I refuse. I am not going with Miss Swan to a hotel and spend a weekend alone with her."

"Tsk, speaking like I am the worst company ever." Emma frowned as she looked at Regina then back at Henry. They were at Snow's apartment.

"No, but you can be when you want to." Regina replayed as she raised her both eyebrows and looked at Emma.

"I promised you I'd behave! I won't mess up anything, and you can spend the entire weekend alone. I will do something totally different than you, so you won't have to deal with me." Emma rolled her eyes and sighed out.

"That's very kind and logical from you, thank you; but still no."

"Moooommmm, I will be there by Monday, come on." Henry groaned.

"Don't gain the bad groaning habit of Miss Swan."

"Stop calling me Miss Swan! I thought we had moved on from this, Miss Mills."

"Not at this moment."

"What? So you have moments?"

"Yes, especially when I am upset."

"Why are you upset?!"

"Moms, moms! Listen!" Henry shouted out and they both stopped from bickering each other. "Look, I know that you don't like Emma that much, but please just try this weekend, you will have fun, and like she said, she won't be around you, so pleaaaase?" Henry basically made puppy eyes to his adoptive mother.

Regina stared down at her son with a frown but her expressions soften when she saw those puppy eyes. "Fine; but make sure you behave at camping, use sun cream and insects repellent."

"Yes, mother!"

"And I want to see you on Monday."

"Yes, ma'am!" Henry chuckled.

Back at the Hotel

And that's how it actually happen, now here was Emma and Regina on an evening Friday, watching this naked doorman taking care of their baggage.

"You broke your promise, Miss Swan. You already ruined everything!" Regina kept with the half whispering and half shouting, as she clearly showed her anger about this situation; hell she even launched her hand to Emma's upper arm and squeezed it tightly, pulling her quickly close. Regina brought her lips up close to Emma's ear, to basically threaten her and tell her how she was going to burn her down with her magic, but the doorman interrupted.

"Ah, finally. You two are showing some love. Don't worry our community accepts kindly homosexual people, so you two are free to kiss, snuggle, caress, or whatever you wish in public, oh but not sex!" The doorman laughed loudly at the end of his words.

Both Emma and Regina stared speechless at the doorman as Regina felt her cheeks getting hot, she was probably blushing, but she hoped nobody would notice it.

And Emma would start with her unnecessary comments. "You heard that love, let's keep the best action behind the closed doors." Emma laughed and then smirked as she looked at Regina from the corner of her eye. She wasn't sure why she was messing around with Regina, but she totally felt like it would be the most hilarious thing ever.

"That's right!" The doorman pointed at the two of them and laughed again.

"Au, au, au, au…" Emma groaned lowly in pain because Regina's nails were digging into the flesh of her upper arm.

Regina just squeezed her arm tightly and stared up into her eyes like she was about to snap her neck, and she would do it if there were to no witnesses.

"Oh, she's the boss in the relationship?" This doorman was kind, but also talking too much for Regina's liking.

"Oh you know…gotta do everything right for the lady. When you have a fiancé like this, you want to make sure she's always happy." And when Emma finished those words, she leaned to peck Regina's left side on her forehead.

Regina was about to snap again at Emma because of how she kept playing along with the all lovers story, but when she heard how much meaning simple words actually had and how the simple action of a single kiss on her forehead touched her heart so much, she just felt her knees weak.

"Oh, fiancé?! Are you for real?! Where's the ring?" The doorman excitedly asked.

And that's when Regina snapped back to reality and felt anger invading her heart again, as she kept digging her nails into Emma's arm, she couldn't wait for it to bleed. "Yes, fiancé.?" Where's the ring?" Regina looked up at Emma with a very forced smile.

And Emma looked down at Regina, still seeing in the brunette's eyes she wanted to beat her up. "Oh snap…here I am, wanting to rush things up! We have just been dating for a year almost two, soo.."

Oh for god's sake, stop with the all lying, Swan! Regina shouted in her mind as she was controlling herself so much to not hurt Emma more than she's hurting her right now.

"Hahaha, I understand you, ma'am. But remember, when you feel it's the right thing to do, just do it and don't regret it."

Emma just stared down at Regina's chocolate eyes and slowly showed her a meaningful kind smile. "Yeah, I am sure I won't regret it..."

Regina just looked up at Emma to threaten her again with her glare, but something was different with Emma's expression, so Regina's expressions become different too, it become soft, kind of clueless and shy too; since her blushing could already be seen.

"Ah, how I love seeing people in love! Get in there, you two lovebirds." The doorman stepped away from the elevator but still kept his finger on the button to keep it open.

Emma was the first one to look away, and ready to move to the elevator while Regina stayed staring at Emma's expression a little longer an only snapped out of reality when she felt her body moving to the front because she was still holding Emma's arm.

After the two got in the elevator, the doorman went last and pressed the button of the floor they were going to stay.

…

In seconds they were on their floor and the doorman was transporting their baggage with Emma too to their room door '254'. Whenever they were there, the doorman opened it with a card and stepped in to place with the bags. "Where do you want me to put this?"

"Right there seems fine." Emma said basically pointing at the hallway of the room.

When the doorman was done, he turned to face the two women and handed a card key to Regina. "The key to the boss." He grinned at her and winked, not in a flirting way though.

Regina was caught off guard but then nodded and took it. "Oh, thank you very much."

"You welcome, milady." The doorman replayed with a smile and then headed to the door, he gave them one last smile and finally closed the door.

On the very second he closed it, he quickly heard.

'OH GOD! REGINA!'

The man simple chuckled lowly and shook his head while walking away. "Ah, dem young lovebirds."

TBC

And this is it. What do you guys think? I decided to make a funny fanfic and know I am not updating every week on my other swan queen fanfic, but I promise I will do better.

Stick around! xoxoxo