Author's notes:

I want to thank everyone who reviewed and PM'ed with support and suggestions. I wasn't really expecting any feedback, considering this is centered on a non canon pair and ER's been off the air for such a long time.

I had to write this because there isn't enough Abby/Susan fiction out there and the possibilities are huge.

(I might post later some other unfinished drabbles that I had forgotten about).

So, this is it. Last chapter. I hope it ties it all together.

Thank you for reading.

Weeks rolled into one another and the end of the year was near.

Abby had promised the boys that they would help her set up the Christmas tree and she smiled proudly at them. They had finally managed to prop the tree on the stand and Abby had dragged it closer to the window. It would look perfect with all the lights on. They rummaged through the boxes excitedly, searching for lights and tinsel and Abby snapped a picture of them and emailed it to Susan.

Mark looked confused as he took a miniature Smirnoff bottle from the bottom of the box and Abby was like a deer caught in the headlights. She'd forgotten about what she'd stashed there, so she strode across the room and took the box away from them "Huh, why don't you unroll the lights for me? I'll be right back".

Abby placed all the bottles inside the kitchen sink. She had been doing fine, some days were better than others, but seeing the evidence of her vice was like scratching a barely healed wound. She emptied the bottles in the sink and watched as the liquid swirled down the drain.

She missed the taste, the heat that radiated from her chest when she had a drink. Abby had attended a meeting a few days ago where she talked about the cravings she was having. Everyone assured her that they were normal but they terrified her nonetheless. Susan always drank red wine and since Abby's rehab she couldn't bring herself to drink in front of her. They had argued that day because Abby told her that it was okay, that she wouldn't fall off the wagon just because Susan had a drink with dinner but Susan kept saying she wasn't comfortable with the idea of savoring a glass of Merlot in front of her. She was scared too.

When she returned to the living room, the boys had surprisingly unrolled all the light sets without breaking them and Abby checked them first for burn-out bulbs. Joe clapped his little hands at all the little LEDs blinking and she nodded at him "Come here...". He helped her string the lights around the tree as Mark commanded from afar "There's a gap over there, Mommy...".

Abby would step back and mentally divide the tree into sections. She decided that they had enough strands of lights and she kneeled down next to the ornament box. She knew Susan liked the red ones better so she handed the balls to the boys and let them finish.

"Don't go too crazy, okay?", she smirked and Mark chuckled at her remark. He knew he'd have to keep an eye on his little brother who was already overdoing it.

Abby sat on the floor with her head against the arm of the couch. The force of her love for the two lively creatures in front of her always amazed her . It was incredible how quickly they had turned from babies into boys with opinions and clear personality traits. Joe nudged her shoulder and handed her a pillow "For your back".

She smiled at him "Thank you, that's so sweet of you". Mark shook his head at his brother and deadpanned "He just wants an iPhone for Christmas".

Abby chuckled at her son "An iPhone? Why do you want one? You don't need one, sweetie". The younger boy pouted "Everyone has one. I'm going to ask Santa for one ".

Mark laughed and rolled his eyes "There's no Santa...".

Abby glared at him "Mark...". The boy sighed and continued to decorate the tree.

She gestured at her youngest to sit on her lap and she smiled at him "An iPhone is not really a toy... It costs a lot of money too. With that kind of money, Santa could buy a lot of presents for a lot of children... It's not really fair to spend all that money on your present. What about the other kids?".

Abby couldn't really believe it was normal for first graders to have iPhones.

He contemplated her words and asked meekly "So if I choose something else, all the kids will have presents?".

Abby knew she wasn't exactly telling the truth but she was glad his heart was in the right place. She smiled and he nodded in defeat "Okay...".

Susan signed charts as she tucked her cell phone between her shoulder and cheek. Her mother rambled on and she tried her best to sound interested. "Your dad's on the way to O'Hare to pick up Chloe and Suzie. Don't be late!".

Seeing her niece was the only motivation behind Susan's decision to attend her parents' Christmas dinner. Cookie made sure Susan understood she was expected to come alone "Don't bring that woman".

Susan twisted the paper in her hands to avoid snapping at her mother. She replied softly "Her name is Abby...".

"We're serving dinner at seven".

Susan disconnected the call and rubbed her temple. Her mother sure had a way to make her feel like crap. Jing-Mei Chen emerged from the door, already slipping out of her lab coat "Do you want to grab a drink?".

She smiled and pursed her lips "I'm having dinner with my folks...".

Chen chuckled at the lack of enthusiasm on her face as she searched for her purse inside her locker "Have fun, then. Merry Christmas!".

Susan smiled at her but was disappointed. It was the first Christmas since she and Abby were together, but her sister came from New York and Susan missed her and wanted to see her niece.

Abby made sure she had the night shift scheduled so that Susan wouldn't feel like not going, she insisted they would have their own little celebration later.

Susan's mother had first laughed at the news that her youngest daughter was in a relationship with another woman. She'd expect something like that from Chloe, not Susan. Susan was the sensible one, the one that graduated with honors. A doctor. Cookie had spent most of her life worrying about Chloe. When she started to pay attention to her youngest daughter, she has already an adult, out of their door.

When Susan told her it was serious, she started calling her everyday, assuring her that she was just confused. Cookie regretted being so absent in her life.

Susan approached Jerry at admit "Have you seen Abby?". He looked up from his computer "I think she's stocking the drug lock-up".

She watched quietly as Abby arranged the narcotics in alphabetical order. She jumped in surprise when she noticed Susan "I didn't see you! You heading out?".

Susan closed the door behind her "Yeah... You know I wanted you to come with me, right?". She looked into Abby's puppy brown eyes searching for reassurance. Abby nodded "I know. But Christmas is about family... go be with your family... It's okay".

Susan wanted to tell her badly that she wanted them to have a family. But it was too soon and she didn't want to freak her out.

She touched her chin and let her fingers stray on Abby's pout. She loved her mouth and couldn't get enough of her kisses. Abby was giving her a look that was all but innocent and Susan leaned to capture her lips with her own.

It was really dumb to be doing this in the drug lock-up but she couldn't resist. Her hands cupped Abby's face and disappeared behind her neck. She backed her against the shelves, her lips teasing Abby's lower lip. The bottles rattled behind them and Abby moaned.

It took all of Susan's restraint to stop herself from taking her right there.

Maybe her mother was right after all and she had lost her mind.

She broke the kiss and watched as Abby tried to regain her composure, adjusting her scrubs top and making sure her french twist was in place. It was insane how much she wanted that woman and she smiled with conspiracy in her eyes "Staying here sounds so much fun than dinner at my parents...".

Abby shook her head and shooed her away "Go...", her tone not matching the tenderness in her eyes.

When Susan left, Abby sighed with her head against the door, her fingers covering the heat radiating from her lips.

Abby parked the car and pointed to the other side of the street "I went to that school". Susan looked as she stepped out of the car "I bet you were a cute kid". Abby rolled her eyes "I had permed hair". Susan shrugged and came around the car, her arm resting on Abby's shoulder "So did I".

The last time they'd visited this place, Abby was in an almost catatonic stupor. She watched as her face tensed as they approached the cemetery and she stopped her by curling her arm around her, bringing her closer "Are you sure you're ready?".

"Yes. Thank you for being here...", Abby whispered against her lips and they walked hand in hand through the alleys. It was one of those sunny cold days Abby loved and if she wasn't replaying the saddest event of her life in her head, she could almost call it a peaceful walk.

Susan wasn't surprised that Abby remembered the exact place of Eric's grave, she was good with details, and she gauged her before tugging her hand softly "I'm going to give you a minute alone".

Abby loved that about Susan, that she always seemed to know what she wanted without her saying anything. Susan crouched and took the dead flowers, replaced them with the fresh ones they had bought earlier. She pressed a kiss to Abby's hair before leaving her alone.

Abby buried her hands deeper into her pockets, her breath drawing puffs into the cold air. She wished she had a cigarette but she'd quit a few years ago. She pressed the heel of her boot into the grass and whispered "You're such a dumbass...". She looked around, making sure no one was eavesdropping "I wish I understood why you did what you did... I wish you'd said something...", Abby felt a tear trickling down the bridge of her nose but she didn't move her hands from her pockets "I know you probably didn't want me to worry... but you know me, I always worry...".

She smiled through her tears "I miss you so much".

One of the last times they'd talked, Eric told her how much he admired the family she had with Susan.

"Your kids are fantastic, sis. They're smart and funny and they're normal! You realize most kids their age would rather sit on their ass all day staring at computer screens, than going outside and play ball? It's kind of a miracle considering how much of a sports enthusiast you are…", he teased.

She listened as he chuckled on the other side of the line "I know you. How you doubt yourself, how you think that you'll mess this up. You won't. You're an amazing parent. You were a great mother to me...".

"Thank you", she said softly.

"And Susan, she loves you. You're great together. And hot", he assured her.

Abby rolled her eyes "You were doing just fine, don't be gross. I'm your big sister".

Eric laughed heartily "I love you".

Only now in hindsight, Abby realized he was saying goodbye.

More tears flowed from her eyes as she remembered: when people asked Eric what he wanted to be when he grew up, he always smiled "I want to be an eagle".

Abby looked at the sky above her, squinting her eyes at the sun and she could almost see her brother flying, finally free, finally in peace.

She pushed the door open and froze when their eyes met. He looked pathetic in just a gown and socks and she stifled a nervous laugh "So, I just bumped into Benton in the cafeteria and he tells me you're here...", she said gently as she neared the stool close to his bed.

He smiled at her "Peter was here earlier. I had no idea he had privileges here".

Susan counterpointed "I had no idea you were here for a transplant, either".

Carter smirked as he smoothed the crinkles of his gown "You guys brag about having the best transplant team in the Midwest, after all".

Susan shook her head at him "Oh, really? Spying on the rivals, are we?". She noticed the lines around his eyes and his greying hair "Does your family know?".

Despite not being close in years, Susan knew Carter. She knew he was probably enduring this alone, so when Benton told her Carter was in pre-op, she had to come and see him. "Do you want me to call your father? Kem?".

He shook his head and she propped her elbow on his gurney "I can stay here for a while if you want".

Carter smiled at her, raising an eyebrow "I know you're busy. Mike's a big fan, he's very impressed".

Susan grimaced a little, of course Carter was on a first name basis with the hospital administrators "He's so creepy. Keeps making passes at me and he knows Abby...".

Susan then turned silent, not really knowing if Abby was an allowed subject between them.

He just chuckled and shrugged "I think he can't help himself. Abby's doing well at the hospital", he said to signal that it was okay talking about her.

Susan sighed almost imperceptibly "She's so strong, it's a shame she doesn't always see it".

Carter nodded and thought carefully about his next words "I used to think that the only thing greater than Abby's strength was her own darkness... But now... I don't believe it's true anymore".

Carter remembered how they looked at each other a few weeks ago at Ike's, how he had envied them in that moment, how Abby now had that confidence of those who know they are loved.

Susan watched him and placed her hand on his arm "Carter... I'm sorry...". Her green eyes were filled with apologies but Carter patted her hand "There's no need...".

She continued "No, really. I won't say I regret doing what I did... back then I already knew. I was terrified about what I was feeling for her, but I just knew deep inside that she was the one that would change everything, you know? So I couldn't let her go... We should've done things differently because we didn't mean to hurt you...".

He nodded with a sad smile and a distant stare "It was a long time ago... I... thinking about it now, it doesn't really surprise me she chose you over me. I was a bit of a spoiled brat trying to force her into sobriety, into what I thought was what she wanted... we didn't really communicate".

Susan knew what he meant "Abby doesn't let a lot of people in... but when she does...". Susan turned quiet, she didn't want to sound like she was bragging.

He adjusted the IV in his arm and stroked his beard "I like to think that it was meant to be... If it wasn't for you and Abby, I might've never met Kem".

"Are you guys together or not?".

She always made him smile and he had missed her mischievous bright eyes "I guess we'll always be together, even if life makes us take separate roads...".

Susan scratched her chin as she pondered his words "You're so depressing. I liked you better when you were a clumsy med student".

"It's a shame we never acted on it", he smirked and she slapped his arm playfully "Shut up".

He sat straighter and laced his fingers behind his neck "We had some good times".

Images of a dumbfound Carter limping into the ER with a plastered leg invaded her mind. She missed those times. She missed Mark, Carol, Doug. She missed Carter too.

She took his hand, deciding that she'd fight for this friendship "You'll pull through this".

Abby looked at the chip in her hand. So much happened in the last year, it felt more like a decade. Susan mingled with the other patrons and Abby watched her from a distance as she served herself a cup of coffee.

Susan made a point to attend her meetings from time to time. Abby didn't want to admit that she loved having her around, it made everything much easier and less boring. Susan came find her and smiled "I was just talking to Josh. Did you know he owns a bakery shop on Belmont? I said we would drop by with the kids".

Over the rim of her cup, Abby smiled at her "You come here once in a while and you're already chummy with everyone...".

Susan grimaced "Is it okay?".

"That's what makes you you. My little ray of sunshine...", Abby tried to say casually, like she wasn't so smitten by her woman.

Susan took the coffee from her hands and took a generous sip, her green eyes shining under her lashes "You're such a sweet talker...".

Abby ignored everyone else around them as she took Susan's hand, kissed her knuckles "Thank you for saving me, for saving us".

Speaking at the White House, Obama said "Americans should be very proud, because small acts of courage slowly made an entire country realize that love is love."

Abby stared speechless at her TV, the White House lit up in rainbow colors in commemoration of the Supreme Court's decision to legalize same-sex marriage.

They had exchanged vows in France a couple of years ago because Susan had once slipped that as a girl, she dreamed of getting married in Paris, with the Eiffel Tower and the whole deal, but they knew it was void under the US law.

They never really talked much about it because they never thought it would pass. They had updated their wills so that they were both protected should anything happen, but Abby never thought she would see this kind of decision in her lifetime.

Her phone was now buzzing with texts and emails. Her mother, Jenny, her sponsor. Neela's name invaded the display with a simple question "Are you going to pop the question?!".

When Susan got home with the boys in tow, Abby was still staring at the TV screen. Couples kissed and waved rainbow flags and she felt relieved that they finally could take this step if they wanted to. It suddenly made so much sense.

Susan sat next to her as she kicked out her shoes "Have you heard?", she smiled at the screen.

Joe was whining about wanting to see cartoons but Susan shooed him "Not now". He seemed to sense that whatever was going on was indeed important and he entertained himself with some action figures.

Mark watched his mothers closely, how they smiled quietly at the TV, hand in hand, and he cajoled his younger brother into following him back to their room.

"This is huge", Susan nodded and Abby couldn't take her eyes away from her.

She was starting to get lines around her eyes, but she was also more refined.

She was beautiful, she was her best friend and she was hers.

She sat closer and fingered a lock of hair behind Susan's ear. Their eyes acknowledged the proximity and they melted into each other in a passionate kiss.

Abby smiled against Susan's lips because she knew she'd pop it as soon as they stopped kissing.

Susan sighed as she sank her fingers in luscious hair because she was so going to say yes.

THE END