authorsnote: I have been so good at updating recently! I've just felt like I wanted to write and write and so I am while it lasts! Here's the next chapter, and I hope you enjoy it.

just a few things to address that I saw in reviews, to anyone who has asked questions I have PM'd you, but I can't PM guests unfortunately so I thought I'd address some general concerns here:

some people are saying that hermione is coming across as 'cold' and I agree with you, she is, its intentional. a lot of people forget that ron has been gone for over seven years, he left a lot of upset people when he went. the war had just finished and he up and left, without a proper goodbye. this had a huge effect on everyone. hermione isn't cold with draco or her friends, she's cold with ron, and thats because he broke her heart when he left (not in a relationship sense), and seeing him again bought all that back. she got over it and then he comes back into her life dredging all that stuff up again.

hermione is cold, her walls are up with ron because he's bought back everything she tried to get over. also she's a different person now, as is he, they're different people and hermione has changed, she's different and honestly doesn't consider ron a friend anymore. he missed a lot and so she can't consider him a friend anymore, hence her attitude - I hope its explained a bit better in this chapter

also to a reviewer who said 'ron clearly has PTSD', yes he does, they all have a touch of it, the war was horrific and they lost people. however, ron does not have raging PTSD. he had a good life in america, he started his own business and got married, and he was happy. it was only following his divorce that he started drinking, and decided to come back to the UK. please do not yell and tell me what is going on in my own story. ron does not have PTSD (bar as I said above they were all affected by the war), he's sad for many reasons, mainly in the forefront of his mind his divorce.

okay - I don't mean to start this chapter off on a negative note, just wanted to get this out of the way! so please enjoy this chapter - and review!

song recommendations - bang my head: sia/david guetta/fetty wap, battlefield: jordin sparks.

you might think you're dying but you won't

-x-

They had been waiting around for hours, drumming their fingers, pacing back and forth. The lot. When Hermione had fallen asleep against one of the chairs, Draco had ushered her onto the sofa at the end of the room. She hadn't been able to get back to sleep, but she had been more comfortable.

The call had come through at 2am. She'd been asleep in Draco's arms, and she had jolted up right (accidently elbowing her husband in the stomach, he had insisted he was fine though), Ginny was going into labour. Of course they had thrown on clothes, called their sitter (Luna), and had headed down to the hospital.

Since then it had just been a waiting game, it was now going on for 6am, and Ginny was still no closer to giving birth. Hermione had seen her initially, given her a hug and a kiss, and then had moved back out. It was only two people in the room at once and of course Blaise and Molly were staying for the duration.

At around 4am Ron had came through the door, hands in his pockets, eyes cast down. He had seated himself next to Fred and George and had kept to himself. That suited Hermione just fine, as long as he didn't cause any trouble then she was simply happy ignoring him.

'Are you sure you don't want to go home?' Draco spoke softly in her ear and she shook her head, cosying up closer to his chest. 'It could be hours yet'

'I know, but I don't want to miss it' She spoke in a hushed tone, the hospital wasn't as busy as it would have been on a weekend (luckily it was a wednesday night), but she still kept quiet. 'I'll be fine'

It had been 4 days since dinner at the Weasley's, and they had moved past it. They hadn't seen Ron since, but Molly had told them how upset he seemed. Hermione felt a twinge of guilt, but then remembered the slash on her husbands arm and her guilt subsided slightly.

'But it could be lord knows how long' Draco spoke again snapping her out of her thoughts, she merely raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed whilst shaking his head; she was stubborn and Draco was more than aware of that.

'I know it might be a while, don't you remember my labour with Scorpius' She unconciously placed a hand on her stomach, '16 hours all in, he just wouldn't come out!'

'Gods I remember, the nurse said that he kept falling asleep' Draco laughed again 'Then I remember you screaming the hospital down at the end – remember the poor assistant you screamd at when he came in to try and quiet you down?'

'Well I was in the throws of labour pains, do you blame me?' She too joined in her husbands laughter before something caught her eye, Ron staring at the both of them with an almost sorrowful expression on his face. As soon as she caught his gaze however, he dropped his eyes and went back to looking at the floor.

'It's fine, he's not going to start anything, and I won't either you know that' Draco too had caught Ron staring at them, and Hermione shook her head at this words.

'It didn't look like he was going to' She turned back to Draco then, her eyes meeting his; chocolate brown against blue grey. 'He looked sad'

'I don't blame him' Draco shrugged, running one hand over Hermione's hair, moving away a loose curl from in front of her face, the other hand round her back and resting on her shoulder. 'You know I said, he may be a prick, and I don't want him back in our lives, but overall I feel for him, I do' He smiled at Hermione's shocked expression 'I do, he came back hoping for you and found you unavaliable, he found his little sister married to a Slytherin, and his ex-best friend broke his nose'

'I'm not saying I agree with it because I don't, but I understand that he's upset and he lost a lot' Draco pulled Hermione forward to kiss her on the forhead 'I might have even said this to him if he hadn't tried to take my arm off, and I know that was my fault, I started it, was nasty to him; I couldn't help it, I needed to show him who was boss, and he shouldn't have made things physical, but I'm still partially to blame'

'You shouldn't have, you were both in the wrong for that fight' She bit her lip then and he nodded, admitting his wrongs. If only Ron would do the same.

'I know, and I'm just saying I feel that he's hurting, of course he is' Draco shrugged then, and laced his fingers through hers.

Hermione nodded then, she knew Ron was in pain and in part she was a little bit selfish for turning him away from her, but could she help it? Since he had come back he had insulted her Husband, started a fight with him and had acted angry and unfair the entire time. He clearly still didn't realise how much pain he had caused in leaving, how she had cried herself to sleep at night, had missed him so much.

He didn't know that, didn't understand it. Also he didn't know about Draco. When Harry had first found out that she was dating the blonde Slytherin he had been pissed but he had seen how happy he made her. Ron hadn't seen any of that, hadn't seen how much she loved Draco and how much he had changed.

He didn't understand, and though Hermione partly knew she should make him understand, try and be his friend, it was a struggle. She was a different person now, with a different life, a life she couldn't see Ron fitting into it. Not at the very least until he made some serious changes.

It was hard for everyone, hard for all of them, she didn't like being so closed off toward him, but that had happened, it had happened the second he had left them without a proper goodbye.

'I'm about to insane' She spoke up glaring at anyone who would look in her direction. She clutched her husbands hand (hard but he didn't say anything, didn't dare too), 'When will it come out?' She whined then, her voice high pitched.

The nurse looked up at her, and she glared back. She was sick of the hospital, sick of the nurses, the doctors. She wanted to have this baby and go home. She felt tired, and cranky, she knew she was being moody for no reason and yet couldn't help it.

'Gin, don't call the baby an it' Blaise said raising an eyebrow but with a smirk playing across his lips.

Ginny stuck her tongue out at him but giggled slightly. 'Well we don't know the sex, do we?' She shrugged her shoulders then, and flopped her head back on the pillow. She felt so heavy, so weighed down, she was looking forward to getting her body back.

'I don't know why you didn't just find out?' Molly spoke up from the corner looking up from her knitting needles. 'I mean its no problem of course, all of the clothes and such will be more than easy to change the colour on, just weren't you incredibly curious?'

'Of course Mum but I want the surprise, I'm excited to meet him or her' She smiled then both at her husband and her mother before a contraction took over and a deep groan ran over her. Molly was immediately at her side grasping her other hand. She squeezed hard, and heard Blaise grunt slightly, Molly made of stronger stuff didn't flinch.

'Oh god, when's it going to come?' She spoke the words loudly, a squeal leaving her lips followed by another deep groan.

Ron couldn't help but glance over at them, he couldn't stop his gaze from wondering. He didn't want them to catch him so every time they moved their gaze or shifted position then he would drop his eyes. Drop them to the floor.

It was stupid he knew but he couldn't help but look. He wanted to see what apparently everyone else already did: wanted to see what had made the relationship happen. Since the dinner at the Burrow he had been going over and over it in his head. What had made Hermione choose Draco? What had steered her toward him?

He had heard about the Slytherin's triumphs in battle. Fred had sat him down (most likely out of pity), and had talked him through Draco's secret transition to the good side. Apparently no one but Hermione, Dumbledore, Snape and Kingsley had known that Draco was a double agent, protecting his family and fighting for the Order.

Ron had found it hard to believe, almost impossible until Fred had told him about Draco taking down Rodolphus Lestrange, how he had been long gone when Draco had dragged his lifeless body into the hall. It did change his opinion a little bit; so Draco wasn't the pureblood, pigheaded twat he'd once been, he'd become a good guy. But still – why had Hermione chose him? If she'd wanted a war hero she would have chosen Harry. It had been Harry he'd been jealous of back then, sure he was the one turning Hermione's gaze.

But no she had chosen Draco, and he couldn't see why. It was only when Molly had taken out an old photo album to show him that it had clicked. Maybe not fully, he still had his doubts, still felt the jealousy, even he wasn't proud to admit it he still felt some hate toward the Slytherin. But that photo album had told him what no words could.

Hermione had chosen Draco because he made her happy. That much was clear.

The photo album had shown picture after picture. Their wedding day, their children, Hermione giving birth, Draco holding his son, his daughter. Hundreds of candid shots, group shots, kisses and hugs exchanged. He could see, he could see the happiness between the two of them. It was a way that Hermione had never looked at him.

He still felt jealous, of course he did, but he had acknowledged more and more that it was his fault. If he had just been here then maybe Hermione would have chosen him. He couldn't be sure but he hadn't exactly fought for her. He had been gone with Lavender.

He immediately stopped at the thought of Lavender. That was a pit of worms too complicated to delve into. He had loved Lavender, still did, but also held love for Hermione. It was too confusing and made his head hurt, made him crave some alcohol. And so any thoughts of Lavender were stopped in their tracks and dismissed. He couldn't think of her now, not with his head filled with so much.

The photo album had shown him the happiness between Hermione and Draco. His watching of them now confirmed it. The way they were twined around one another. The way Draco stroked her hair and then her belly without even realising it. The way Hermione rested her head on his chest and stroked his leg. All little indicators.

The main thing was the way they looked at one another, like they were caught in their own little bubble, fazing out the rest of the world; just the two of them. The way they seemed so caught up in one another. It was love; true love, that much was clear. He could see it now, it still hurt but at least he wasn't confused, the confusion had been the most frustrating.

He saw Hermione's and then Draco's gazes move to him and he hastily dropped his eyes. He couldn't face them right now. Not only did he still hurt, still feel jealous but he felt shame. He had no right to start a fight with Draco the way he had. He should have turned the other cheek, not lost his temper and endangered everyone at the table. It had been unforgivable. He felt guilty for it, and yet a savage part of him was glad that he had, that he had shown Hermione the way Draco had pushed him.

How he wasn't perfect.
He shook his head at his own thoughts; he had to stop thinking like that. He knew Hermione would never be his now, but he couldn't bare the idea of going back to America, moving away again, this time truly alone. He wanted to stay, and to do that he would need to repair his relationships. His family had welcomed him with open eyes. He had even (somehow), connected with Blaise when he had visited with Ginny. He just needed to fix things with Hermione (and as much as he hated it) Draco.

Of course there was always Harry but that was a whole other battlefield.

Taking a deep breath he stood to his feet. He needed to start making bridges. Sure he felt like he was owed an apology. He had been wrong in starting a fight but Draco shouldn't have made that speech. It was hard enough for him; was it necessary to rub it in the wounds?

He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and walked over to the happy couple. They didn't move as he approached, caught up in each other. He had to clear his throat as he approached, and he saw them turn in surprise. He placed his hands up in front of him to indicate he came in peace. Neither of them moved, though Draco looked annoyed and Hermione apprehensive.

'I'd like to talk to Hermione, I have some stuff I need to say to her, and you Draco, but Hermione I need to talk to you first, alone' He spoke confidently but with a flicker of fear in his eyes. 'I won't try anything, of course not, I just need to talk to you' He turned to her then, and saw her nod.

Hope and relief flared through him, he had thought he'd be rejected immediately.

'Okay' She nodded, untangling herself from Draco. He looked worried but as she nodded at him he did too. Even Ron knew that trying to stop Hermione from doing something she wanted to do was not a good idea, and pointless anyways.

'Lets talk' She spoke softly and nodded, pointing to an empty room across the hall.

'Lets talk'

so what did you think? I hope that answered questions about rons/hermiones current positions, thoughts and feelings! if you have any more write it in the reviews and I will get back to you!

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see you soon!

xoxo