A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews. I'm sorry it took so long to update. This takes place a few days after Caroline, Kol, and Katherine move in together. Remember, most of these will be short. Dedicated to Lynyrd Lionheart.
Enjoy!
-Angie

"Good morning, Caroline!"

"Morning," Caroline mumbled, heading straight for the coffee maker.

"How are you feeling this morning?"

Caroline stiffened. There was something much too cheerful in Kol's voice, and it did not bode well for her. "Tired."

"How has your week been?"

Caroline added some cream and sugar to her coffee, turning around as she stirred. "Fine."

"Really?" Kol asked, the look on his face almost gleeful.

"Really."

"You haven't had anything interesting happen?"

Caroline narrowed her eyes. "I don't know, I can foresee throwing coffee in your face if you don't tell me what's going on in the next thirty seconds. Does that count?"

"I suppose, but it's not as interesting as this," Kol said, pulling out an incredibly familiar notebook from his inside jacket pocket.

"Oh my god, Kol! Give it back!"

"But it's such an interesting read," Kol said, an almost sadistic smile blooming on his face as he sped across the room before opening the diary to read from it. "Dear Diary, I can't believe it, but I think I miss Klaus," he started, attempting to make his voice rise in pitch to imitate Caroline's and failing (though his accent was excellent).

"Kol!"

"I don't think I miss him in personality, but I've had at least three dreams about what happened in the woods, and it's getting incredibly annoying. Ooh, sex in the woods? How absolutely scandalous, Caroline!"

Kol shot off to the other side of the room as Caroline dropped the coffee mug, ignoring the crash as she sped at him, and he turned the page, practically cackling with glee.

"Dear Diary, I think Klaus must have gotten a witch to cast a spell or something. He told me that I'm his mate, but honestly I think he might have just done some sort of sex ritual. I've never gotten wet from him being within four yards of me-Now, Caroline, I didn't want to know that."

"Then you shouldn't be reading it," Caroline said exasperatedly, throwing her hands up in the air and flopping down on the couch, deciding that running after Kol was a waste of energy.

"Oh, or how about this one: I'm starting to think that Bonnie might not be as against dating Kol as she thinks she is. Self-awareness has never really been her strong suit, but it's starting to get ridiculous. Like, can't they just bang it out already? It's not like he's not hot. Well, thank you, Caroline. Glad to know you think that of me. I'd threaten to tell Nik, but I have a feeling it would be my heart on the ground rather than yours."

Caroline rolled her eyes. "Are you done?"

"Not even close! I hate it when Katherine leaves her shit everywhere. Can no one in this house pick up after themselves like a fucking adult? I swear I'm a fraction of their ages and they can't use a broom. Well, now, I wouldn't go that far."

"I would."

"Shall I flip a few chapters before?"

"Kol, my diary doesn't have chapters."

"I can see that," he said as he flipped back through the book, dodging Caroline's attempt to grab it again. "Dear Diary, Tyler was not happy when he found out that I slept with Klaus, even though it's really none of his business. I still care about him even though we broke up, but I feel like I've lost my need to justify the things he does that upset me. Well, that's good, Caroline. Always nice to have some self-respect."

"You're an ass."

"I know. Oh, we should skip this entry. It looks like an incredibly detailed account of the romp you and Nik had against a tree, and that is not something I wish to subject myself to. Oh, here's one. Dear Diary, Katherine is an entitled bitch. Now that's just rude, darling."

Kol let out a shout of surprise as Caroline tore a chair leg from one of their dining chairs and threw it at Kol, knowing he'd have to drop the diary to catch the stake.

He did, and she sped to pick up the diary, holding it protectively in her arms. "I swear to god, Kol, I will get Bonnie to put a spell on this so that if you touch it again your dick will fall off."

"Now, darling. Bonnie wouldn't do that. You even agreed that she might grow to like that part of my anatomy."

Caroline felt veins crop up on her cheeks, and she took a deep breath to center herself. "I know that you grew up with Klaus, and that he put you in coffins, but trust me Kol, if you touch my diary again what I will do will be so much worse."

"Well now, that's a proper threat. Welcome to the family, Caroline," Kol said cheekily, ducking the pillow Caroline threw at his head.

"And you're going to clean up the coffee spill and then come to IKEA with me to replace the chair that I had to throw."

"You dropping your swill that attempts to pass for proper coffee wasn't my fault at all. You also didn't have to throw anything. Don't blame me for your own actions."

Caroline gave him the look she used on incompetent cheerleaders, and Kol huffed. "Fine. I'll go as long as I get a say in the color scheme. I'm not cleaning the mess, though."

"There is no way you're getting a say in the color scheme, and there are towels over there on the counter."

He stayed where he was and held her gaze, his eyes narrowed, and she crossed her arms.

"Kol…"

"What? I'm traumatized from my previous cleaning failures. I'm not going to do it. Pick your battles darling, because this is one you will not win."

"Fine," Caroline snapped, practically stomping to the kitchen for the towel and easily cleaning the mess in less than a minute. She grabbed her car keys and stuffed them in the back pocket of her jeans before grabbing her jacket from the hook by the door. "Come on. Bring your wallet."

She rolled her eyes as she heard Kol grumble about having to use his "hard-earned" money to pay for furniture and checked the time on her phone. It was only nine in the fucking morning.

It was going to be a long day.

A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it. Please let me know what you thought. :) Did you have a favorite line? Anything you might want to see in future chapters? I can't guarantee that I will write them, but I'm really enjoying playing around with the situation (I have a few half-done drabbles).

You can always catch me on tumblr at thetourguidebarbie.

Hugs!
-Angie