Why do they think up stories that link my name with yours?
Why do the neighbours chatter all day, behind their doors?
I know a way to prove what they say is quite untrue.
Here is the gist, a practical list of "don'ts" for you.

People Will Say we're in Love – Oklahoma

"I had heard the most absurd thing a Mrs Goddard's tea party yesterday."

Mr Knightly raised an eyebrow at that. It was a quiet, rather pleasant afternoon at Hartfield which, of course, was spent in the stuffy parlour as Mr Woodhouse feared the bright sun would not overcome the slight breeze in the air. No that Mr Woodhouse was with them currently, he had a sudden paranoia that the nursery was not warm enough and both he and Isabella were fretting over the children which had left the Knightly brothers with Emma to entertain them.

Emma had chosen to discuss Mrs Goddard's annual summer tea party in which her students' manners were tested and some fundraising was made. It was hardly the event of the social calendar but for Emma it was probably the most exciting thing that has occurred in her life in the last few months.

"Oh?" he said. "Did one of Mrs Goddard's students ask for both honey and sugar in their tea?"

"You jest, Mr Knightly," Emma said stiffly, "but I do not. For it was the most absurd thing one could ever utter. One of Mrs Goddard's students had in fact asked me when you and I were to be wed."

"What?!" Mr Knightly choked.

"Exactly!" Emma said triumphantly. "Is it not the most absurd thing? She had been under the impression that you and I are in love with one another."

"Good grieve!" Mr Knightly exclaimed. "What on earth could have possibly have caused that misunderstanding."

"I suspect it was your ungentlemanly behaviour."

"Excuse me!" Mr Knightly cried out indignantly. "I was the perfect gentleman yesterday."

"Yes, you were, in fact you were over-gentlemanly which was what made you so ungentlemanly," Emma said nonsensically, "you were most insistent in pulling my chair out, and escorting me safely, and helping me up from my seat, that you had gave people the impression that I was your intended."

"Very well, Emma," Mr Knightly could not help but smile at this, "I shall behave towards you with nothing but the upmost rudeness if you so wish but I must point out that if people are under the impression we are in love then it is your fault as well.

"My fault?!"

"Oh yes," Mr Knightly agreed, "You see, my dear Emma, you were most attentive to my attention. You must not gaze so much with such an adoringly look in your eyes if you do not wish for people to think we are in love."

"Well Mr Knightly," Emma replied, "you would do well to not address me a 'my dear Emma' or use any form of endearment or people shall certainly think we are in love."

"Then I must insist on you to stop uttering my name with such fondness and familiarity," Mr Knightly teased, "or people will say we're in love."

"Might I suggest that you do not please my father so much then?" Emma replied. "Otherwise people shall interpret it incorrectly and declare us in love."

"Very well, I shall gladly enjoy the sunshine outside," Mr Knightly said, "but I must insist that you not laugh at my jokes so much."

Emma laughed at that. "Your jokes, Mr Knightly?" she smiled. "I think you will find I have no problem with that," she teased. "Very well then but you must not praise my charms so highly."

"Believe me, Emma," Mr Knightly said, "I shall have no difficulty from refraining to praise your charms. However I fear the problem of people saying we are in love is still very much your fault. You must not grab hold of my arm so much or keep your hand in mine, as nice as it feels, it still certainly causes the wrong impression."

"I think we have found ourselves at an agreement," Emma said formally, "no longer shall we behave as brother and sister."

"Indeed, for we shall not have people say we are in love," Mr Knightly agreed, "from now on we shall be nothing but strangers to one another."

"In that case," Emma stood up, "I should find Miss Taylor. It would be highly improper for me to sit in a room with a strange man without a chaperone."

And with that, she flounced out of the room with her eyes glittering with mischief and sheer cheek.

Mr Knightly shook his head fondly, nonsensical girl, he thought to himself.

"So," John smirked from behind his newspaper, "when are you two announcing your engagement?"