Lies (Rewrite)

Title: Lies
Rating: T
Fandom: Detective Conan
Summary: "I want you to stay! I love you, Detective Freak!" Ran's words stung Shinichi. But he knew he had to keep her safe, even if it meant breaking her heart.

Edogawa Conan stood in the bathroom, staring at the red and white pill in his palm. "This is it," Tears pricked at his eyes and he clenched a fist. The conversation from a few minutes ago echoed in his mind.

"You've been taking too many prototype antidotes," Haibara told him

"Eh? What's that supposed to mean?" Conan asked.

"It means that your body's practically immune to it now," Haibara informed.

"Y-You mean that it won't work anymore?" Professor Agasa questioned her. "Shinichi won't be able to use it anymore?"

"No!" Conan shouted. "I can't be that immune to it!"

Haibara held up the temporary antidote. "If you take it right now, you'll only have minutes as Kudo Shinichi. At most, you'll have one hour if you're lucky,"

Conan placed the pill in his mouth and swallowed it. A few minutes later, Kudo Shinichi ran out of the professor's house and towards Mouri Detective Agency. 'Ran…' He reached his destination and knocked on the door.

Ran answered it and was surprised. "Sh-Shinichi?"

"Ran~" Sonoko said in a sing-song voice from her position on the couch. "You're husband's back!"

"I'm not her husband," Shinichi said in a cold tone. He hated how Sonoko was there; he only had a small time frame and he didn't want her to interrupt his conversation with Ran. "Ran's not my wife,"

"Oh, do you want to come in?" Ran ignored the coldness of Shinichi's tone and opened the door wider, shifting to the side to allow him entry. "I'll make some tea,"

"Ran…" He had to tell her. 'Please stop talking!'

"We can catch up,"

"Ran…" 'Don't bring your hopes up, please! It'll only make this harder!'

"You can tell me all about this case. It must've been a hard one if it took you so long,"

"Ran!" Shinichi shouted. "I'm not here to stay nor will I ever be!"

It was silent for a few seconds, a few precious seconds to Shinichi.

'Please say something, anything!' Shinichi begged mentally. 'Don't stay quiet!'

To Shinichi's anger, it was Sonoko who broke the silence. "What do you mean you're never going to be staying!? Aren't you going to be here for your wife!?"

Shinichi glared at her with all the frustration and anger he had. "I don't love Ran!" Those words felt like venom and his chest was hurting, not from the temporary antidote but from heartache.

"You…don't love me?" Tears stung Ran's eyes.

"Hey! How can you say something like that!?" Sonoko demanded. "You and Ran have known each other through so many years! You've always been by her side! What do you mean you don't love her!?"

It took all of Shinichi's strength to stop himself from hitting her. "I only see her as a friend, a sister at most. You've been through so much with her too, Suzuki. Hell, you've known her longer than me. Going by your stupid reasoning, why don't you date her then?"

"I—"

Shinichi didn't give Sonoko any time to respond. "This isn't some kind of ****ing fairytale! You don't grow up, fall in love, and marry your childhood friend! Wake up Suzuki! This is reality!"

"There's someone else…isn't there?" Ran wiped the tears away but they still kept on falling.

Shinichi glanced at his watch. "I gotta get going. Goodbye Ran," He ran off, not turning back. If he did turn back, he feared that the truth would leave his mouth. As he left, silent tears fell from his own eyes. He let one word disappear as a whisper in the wind. 'Sorry…'

XXX

Conan sat on his—no, it wasn't his bed anymore and it will never be. It was Shinichi's bed. He was and forever will be Edogawa Conan. Kudo Shinichi was gone forever, lost in the streams of time. The lies were eating him up and he vomited into a nearby trash can, disgusted at himself.

"I'm working on a case,"

"I'll come back someday, Ran,"

"I don't love you,"

That last one was the worst one. He had lied that he didn't love her romantically, that he had only loved her as a friend all these years. His chest was hurting, hurting worse than any of the seizures from the temporary antidote, hurting worse than any bullet fired from a gun. He hated how he kept telling her that he'd return for good one day, how he'd gotten her hopes up. He hated how she had kept on believing him and kept on waiting for his return.

"I'm so stupid!" Conan yelled, slamming his fist against the wall. "If only I hadn't taken all those temporary antidotes, then I could've had more time! I'd have more time until a complete antidote is made!"

He shouldn't have taken an antidote when he went to London. Sure, he loved Sherlock Holmes and had always dreamed of going to England, but now that he looked back, it wasn't worth shortening the time limit on the temporary antidotes nor was it worth risking his status as living to any potential organization members that could've seen him. The same could be applied to when he took a temporary antidote to go on the field trip to Kyoto.

"Even if it breaks your heart, Ran, I want you to stay safe," Conan whispered through sobs. "Hate me all you want…destroy all memories of my existence…as long as you're safe, I'll be fine,"

That was another lie. Even if she was safe, seeing her in the form of Conan everyday was killing him. He kept telling himself that he'll be fine as long as Ran wasn't targeted by the organization. That was a lie, not to Ran, but a lie to himself. One day, it would all come crashing down on him. She'd shed more tears and would be screaming at him for all these lies.

After all, one truth will prevail.

It has always bothered me how Conan took a temporary antidote to go to London with Ran and Kogoro. I was also frustrated how he took the antidote just so he could go on his school's field trip to Kyoto. I understand that he wanted to visit Holmes' homeland and that he wanted to spend time with Ran, but those are stupid reasons to take temporary antidotes when its duration shortens each time! Also you're trying to keep a low fricking profile! A crime syndicate is after your life and will kill everyone you love!