Claire found herself awake before the rest. Alex had come to her room in the night, curled up at her side, and proceeded to hog all of the blankets. Claire took comfort in her proximity, but sleep was elusive. She slipped free of Alex's limbs and moved off to the window. The night had hints of dawn in it. Before they had gone to sleep, Jody had poked her head in to tell them that she had bargained an extra hour of sleep for them all.

She pushed the window open quietly and slipped out onto the roof to watch the stars slowly fade into the new morning sky. She settled into the spot alongside her window and wasn't even startled by the flap of wings that brought Gadreel down to her side. "You're up early," he said.

"Couldn't sleep. Too much on my mind, I guess." She looked at him. Although, still a bird, he looked like he had healed from his somewhat broken appearance before.

He edged up closer to her and nuzzled his head against her knee. "I need to tell you thank you, Claire, and I don't know where to begin."

She reached out to him and lightly trailed her fingers over his back. "You don't need to thank me. You got hurt saving us. I think maybe I should be thanking you."

He looked up at her and said, "It's different. You cared about me and my well-being when no one did, when no one should have. I keep thinking that I can finally throw myself in front of others, do something to redeem myself to the world, then you come along and save me. I don't deserve saving, and I don't know what to do now that it has happened yet again."

"You could maybe live. You could maybe stop looking for new and more creative ways to die." Claire let her hand fall away from him and he hopped forward a bit, turned around, and faced her.

He cocked his head to the side in a move that seemed contemplative. "I'll try."

"You seem to have gotten your wings working again." Claire cast a glance up at the sky.

"Yeah, good thing too, since it looks like I'll be playing the part of annoying crow creature for the foreseeable future." He added a caw to the end and Claire laughed.

"Are you going to follow us to Lebanon?"

"Gabriel told me a bit about the plan among other things, and I'm not sure I'd be of use. I have no desire to be a burden to anyone." He turned his head to the window at the far end of the house. "Looks like all of you are finding this roof appealing." Charlie was making her way down to Claire.

"Hey compadre." Charlie sat next to her and gave a nod to Gadreel. "You too."

Gadreel turned to Claire and said, "I'm going to take to the air for a bit, think about your question. Lebanon could prove interesting at least."

"I hope you'll go with me."

"Like I said, I'll think about it." He launched himself up into the sky then and circled far above them.

Claire turned her attention to Charlie. "What brings you out here?"

"Fresh air and conversation." Charlie drummed at the roof on either side of her legs.

"Are you doing okay? Been worried about you." Claire reached out to touch her arm and saw her stiffen a little. She withdrew her hand and looked off at the far horizon. The sky was growing pink and brighter.

"I'm not going with you to Lebanon." Her voice was small and sounded a little broken. Claire reached for her again and rested her hand on Charlie's arm.

"No, you have to go with us."

"No, I don't. I need to take care of some things for me."

Claire saw something in Charlie's eyes then, that she couldn't quite read, something almost like anger. "Charlie, are you okay?"

"No, I'm not. I was just holding it together before, when Rowena brought me here, but then she cast her spell. I feel…" Charlie stopped and slumped forward a little. "I feel broken and angry. I'm doing all I can to contain it, but I won't be successful for long."

"What do you mean? Let us help you." Claire squeezed her arm a little to make her point.

"I can't. You already have a mission, save Cas, save Dean. A third mission would make the burden too heavy. Plus, I can take care of this on my own." Charlie reached out to Claire and rested her hand on Claire's knee. "I just wanted you to know, so you didn't worry, and so you could keep the others from worrying. You care a great deal about broken things." She cast her eyes up at the sky where Gadreel still circled.

"You're not broken Charlie, and if you are, let us help you with the fixing. You matter to us all."

"And yet they left me behind." She paused and let her words sink into silence. "I know it's not fair of me to think it, but I do. Maybe it's the anger that her spell unleashed in me. That's a good word for it unleashed. It was like I was a dog held at bay, and then the spell happened and I lost the little bit of something that was holding me in check. Now I just want to hurt something or be hurt. I'm not going to be able to be around you all and be like this."

"You're not hurting me. You seem to be in control."

"I'm giving all of my focus to the anger, to keeping it locked up tight. If I have to hear Sam say again how important it is that we get Cas and Dean back from the great beyond or wherever they are, my resentment will turn to rage. I won't be able to contain it. If they'd have only looked for me instead of providing the hunter's funeral with a cie la vie. You and I wouldn't have been dealing with Rowena opening up Oz at least."

"I'm sure Sam would have looked for you if for even one minute he thought that you were somewhere that he could go. You're important to both Sam and Dean. Dean had even said once that you were like a sister to him."

"Guess brother's get retrieved from heaven, purgatory, hell, and any other dimension, while sisters get bupkis." Charlie's words were practically spit out.

"I suppose that's how it is with them. The world throws darkness at them at every turn, and they can only seem to focus on one big thing at a time and each other. Anything else and they likely would fall apart. I know what you're feeling though. Cas took my father from me, which consequently took my mother too. If that wasn't bad enough, no one, not any of them gave me a second thought."

"They never do."

"I know. So believe me when I say, that despite all of that, I know that they love us. Cas gave me his last words before diving away with Dean. He maintained a connection with me that even now is spanning time and space. I wonder sometimes if when they forget us it is merely because they can't live with the remembering. They feel the failures with us far more than anything, and it kills them a little."

"The worst part right now is that I wish that was true, but I don't believe it. I think that they just don't love us the way that we love them. We're expendable. Well, at least I was." Charlie got up and started to leave. "I'll keep in touch with you, Claire, just you. I don't want to have to explain myself to the others, hear the excuses."

"Where will you go?" Claire started to get up, but Charlie held out a hand, encouraging her to stay put.

"I'm gonna go back to the Styne place and get what they took from me. I'm gonna fix this." She waved her hands in front of herself to signify her whole self.

"You promise to keep in touch?"

"I promise so long as you keep my secret until I'm gone." Charlie moved another step away.

Claire got up then and moved to her side. "I promise. Promise you'll be careful."

Charlie gave her a little salute in response, and Claire returned it. Charlie made her way back to her window. Claire settled back down to watch the rest of the sunrise. Twenty minutes later and she saw Charlie making her way off across the yard with her duffle bag slung over her shoulder. She didn't look back or acknowledge Claire as she went.

There was a small noise at her window. Alex poked her head out, her hair a wild mess around her pillow creased face. "You should not be awake."

"Neither should you," Claire snipped back with a grin.

"You left the blankets pulled back. It got cold." Alex eased out onto the roof and sat next to her. Charlie was still visible in the distance. Alex looked off at her. "Is that Charlie?"

"Yeah, shh," Claire said.

Alex pressed up close to her side. She was cold. Claire looked over at her then took her hand. She threaded their fingers together. "Why?" Claire didn't know if the question was for her hand holding move or for Charlie going.

"Sometimes a person can get to feeling so broken. Sometimes a person just has to do something, anything to not feel like that anymore. Sometimes people make you feel broken." She squeezed Alex's hand. "And sometimes they make you feel whole."

Gabriel felt broken, fragmented as he sat on the front porch. He had been tired and yet sleep was not something he truly craved or even understood. He had spoken with Gadreel, briefly. He still found him distasteful as a being, but that feeling had been dulled by the end of the conversation. Now he was left with a feeling of modest kinship. Here they were, two angels with nothing of their former selves lingering in their forms.

Gabriel cast about for a hint of his old grace. It had been well and thoroughly used up by the opening of the portal. His eyes fell shut and he thought that what he was experiencing must surely be a dream. There was a bright light spiralling out around him. He felt the air pulling him down, down, down. He heard water, rushing by with gentle slaps to a rocky shore. The light grew brighter and then left in a pop.

The new vision filled his mind. Cas was there, lying on the cold hard ground. Gabriel tried to focus, but his vision shook and became unclear. When he relaxed again, the vision cleared up. He was lying still in a grassy place. There was a stream or something in the distance. He could hear it again. Cas wasn't moving. He tried to look at his back more closely, but that concentrated effort made him lose his focus. In the distance there was a clothesline. On it he saw some dresses and a crisp white blanket.

He noted that the clothes looked like the kinds of things pioneer women wore. Gabriel formed a mental timeline of women's fashion choices. He tried to find items in his memories that were similar to what he was seeing. Mid-1800s, he guessed. He gave himself a mental pat on the back. He had been aiming for somewhere in that vicinity. He turned his focus again to Cas. Come on buddy, wake up. He hoped that somehow he was actually getting through to him. Across time and everything, he managed to have a little hope that this was working. Wake up, wake up. He noted movement then. Cas was stirring. He tried to cast about his vision, but all he could see was Cas, then the vision faded and shut down like an old picture tube going out in an ancient television set.

Gabriel opened his eyes and looked off at the yard in front of him. "Well, shit," he muttered to no one in particular. "Now we just gotta figure out a little more and we should be able to do this thing." He could hear the early morning stirrings of people milling about in the house.

The screen door to his right opened and Sam emerged. He let it close behind him with a slap. "You're up early." Sam looked like he was going to retreat back into the house.

"You said be ready by six then Jody said seven. Figured I'd better go with somewhere in between." Gabriel had his legs propped up on the porch railing. Sam moved toward his legs like he wanted to pass to the other side. Gabriel obliged by putting his legs down. Sam made his way to one of the wicker chairs that lined the wall and took a seat.

"I'm sorry about punching you." It was a barely there apology. Gabriel heard it though and gave him a fully shocked eyebrow raise. "Don't make me repeat it. I know you heard me."

"Wouldn't dream of it. You feeling less punchy now or something?" Gabriel propped his legs back up onto the railing as Sam hunched over a little, arms propped up on his knees, chin cradled there as well.

"I'm done hitting you. Don't make me change my mind."

"So what spawned this rare bit of goodwill where I'm concerned?" Gabriel waited for a bit too long for an answer, but he was patient.

Sam finally dragged out some words. "I slept on it all, or better yet, I tried to sleep on it all. In the end, I get that you were helping them, helping all of us. You were doing what Dean wanted you to do, Cas too."

"I was. Not sure I should tell you this, but I may have discovered a new skill while I was sitting out here." Gabriel was grinning as he thought about his little vision.

Sam looked a little concerned. "Uh, please don't tell me anything porny."

"Oh, you just pretend it bothers you." Gabriel laughed. "Not like I do that, by the way. I mean I only sent you all that message in a porno that one time, and now it's like Gabe only does porn. Dean was going on about it a few days ago."

"Do you even have a point?" Sam asked with a sigh of exasperation.

"Yes, I'm tied to Cas."

"What?"

"I am tied to Cas. I was able to see him. It came in a short vision, but it was totally him." Gabriel grinned over at him. "Well, tell me you're impressed."

"Explain."

Apparently Sam's communication skills had devolved greatly. "I was able to, with great effort, focus on where my grace went. I was able to follow it like a river to where it ended. It ended with Cas. It looked like my aim was pretty good. There was a clothesline that I could see too. It had some clothing that appeared to be the kind that one would find on women in the mid-1800s. I can't pinpoint an exact day or even year, but he's alive."

"And Dean?" Sam was sitting up straighter now.

"Couldn't see him." Gabriel took in the look of worry that passed over Sam's face. "Doesn't mean he wasn't there though. I had a really limited field of vision. Regardless, if Cas is there and alive, then Dean is going to be fine. My brother is singularly focused where your brother is concerned."

"I'd feel better if you had seen him. Can you try looking again?" Sam leaned toward him a little. Gabriel could smell him. He smelled like the vanilla body wash from the hall bathroom and pine. Gabriel wondered about the pine scent. Had he been back to the site?

Gabriel concentrated, even closing his eyes to send out his thoughts on the path of the grace. Nothing happened though. He didn't open his eyes right away. "Hmm, nothing happening now."

"Do you think it was a one time thing?"

"No. I just can't seem to find the thread. Maybe I need to be in the right state of mind or something. I'm a bit more awake now, a bit more present in this moment." Gabriel leveled his gaze on Sam. "Sorry."

"Well, we'll just have to make sure that you have ample opportunity to keep trying." Sam got up. "You ready to get going?"

"Yeah." Gabriel got up too and asked, "Did you go back to the site this morning?"

Sam looked away for a moment and seemed like he wasn't going to answer. "Yeah. I just needed to be there again, just to look at it."

"What were you looking for?"

"I was…" Sam wasn't looking at him. He seemed intent on looking away into the middle distance. "I was saying goodbye. You know, just in case."

Gabriel settled a hand on Sam's arm. "I know I discouraged you before, even said you couldn't get them back, but I was wrong."

Sam finally looked at him. "Maybe, maybe not."

"No maybes about it, Sam. I was wrong. Dean was a little wrong too. We'll bring them back home. Now all we have to do is look through some of the bunker's history books for signs of Dean and Cas in the old west." Sam gave him a look that seemed to say, Oh so that's all. Gabriel responded to the look by saying, "Yeah, Sam. We got this. You've pulled off tasks that were way more difficult before. Now you've got an archangel on your team. Two kinda if you count birdbrains up there." He shrugged and added, "I mean I wouldn't count him. He's not much to write home about, but hey what do I know."

That made Sam laugh a bit. "Well, he might not even want to go with us anyway."

"Like he could watch that girl go off without him. He cares for her."

"Claire?" Sam moved past him and stood on the edge of the steps.

"Of course, Claire. We angels tend to form rather unique bonds with our human charges. Claire is something special though. She has that connection with both Castiel and Gadreel. Although, I suspect that Gadreel feels connected to her because she is one of the rare creatures in this universe that has shown any bit of kindness to him. Imagine knowing deep in your core that everyone, absolutely hated you. I mean, not one being felt even one good thing for him."

"Sounds awful, but he was rather awful, so I can kind of understand the sentiment."

Gabriel let out a sigh, "He wasn't always. Before the fall of man, he was good. He just made a mistake that he couldn't escape. He paid for it though. He suffered for an eternity for one misstep. I feel sorry for him for that. Didn't before though."

"What changed your perspective?"

"Seeing him act selflessly for Claire. He's changed. We have to value redemption and atonement. He seems to be trying to redeem himself, and I for one want to let him." Gabriel moved to the yard. "So are we going or what?"

Sam turned to the house and hollered, "Let's load up and head out people."

The noises of movements inside paired with voices. In time it was all a flurry of activity as people picked their cars and loaded up their bags. They planned to take three cars. Linda, Donna, and Jody would take Donna's car. Sam, Charlie, and Gabriel would take the Impala. Claire, Alex, and Freddy would take the pick-up. Before they left Sam wandered over to Claire, Gabriel at his side. "You ready, Sam?"

"Just waiting for Charlie." Sam moved toward the house. "Maybe I should go in and hurry her up a bit."

"She's not coming." Claire watched his back stiffen as he came to an abrupt stop before turning around.

"What do you mean?" Sam came back to her.

"She talked to me about it this morning. She needs to go back to the Styne's to fix herself. She said that it was important." Claire was worried that she was breaching a trust in the moment.

"Why didn't she tell me? We could have gone together on the way back to the bunker."

"I don't know, Sam. Maybe she just felt like you didn't need another burden."

"Did she say that?"

"Not exactly."

"Claire, did she think she was a burden to me?" Sam looked rather pained as he said it.

"Maybe. I mean, she felt like she had to do this on her own."

"She's family. We take care of each other. Shit." Sam was stomping off toward the car. Before he got there he turned back. "You said she's going to the Styne place?"

"Yeah."

Sam turned away from her again. Jody was standing next to Donna's car with the others. Sam said, "Slight change of plans. We need to help Charlie out. It won't be much of a detour." He walked over to Donna and talked to her for a moment, laying out the plans for where they would go.

Gabriel stayed behind at Claire's side. They waited and Sam returned. "So, where to, boss?" Claire asked.

Sam held out his hand. "Let me see your phone, and I'll pull up the map." She handed it over and he typed in some information. He handed it back. "Keep in contact with each other. We'll try not to get separated on the road."

"Okay." Claire headed off for the truck. Alex and Freddy were already inside.

Everyone else loaded up. Sam threw himself down into the driver's seat. Gabriel was already in the passenger's seat waiting. Sam shifted about in the seat before starting the car. The seats squeaked in mild protest. Sam glanced over at Gabriel, "Ready?" It seemed like a bigger question than the word implied.

"Yep." The car roared to life and led the others out onto the street chasing the sunrise. Gabriel reached out for the stereo and turned it on, giving it plenty of volume. The noise of it fit the mood. Sam gave the car some gas and Gabriel felt the weight of his body as it was pulled back into the seat. Sam stared forward with steely eyed resolve, and the world swept by all greens and browns in the sunlight that just begged to be appreciated after so much darkness. The hopeful horizon was a canvas of pinks and blues driving away the night. Gabriel gave his mind and mood over to the song and to the distance and to the world that was flying by them. In the sky above them, he could see the distant swoop of a bird, Gadreel. He smiled and thought, 'bout time we all get a shot at redemption.

Gabriel closed his eyes then and saw the same flash of light he saw before. The world was bright and there was Cas, standing at the clothesline. He focused on him as they all would focus on this task. He could see the distant meadow, the clothesline, and lastly the lady that stood nearby, shotgun raised and pointed at Cas. Gabriel felt his own brow furrow. The vision snapped away. He opened his eyes, glanced at Sam, and decided not to share the latest vision.

They need hope. They need it more than they need truth. He focused on the roar of the engine, the sound of the tires, and the road ahead.

AN: Thank you all for reading this. This concludes this part of the story. The next part will be called Wayward in the Land of Nod. It will be structured in much the same way as this story was. We will spend some part of the story in the 1800s with Cas, Dean, Cain, and Colette among others. We will also spend more time with Claire and Alex and the others as they try to figure out how to get Kevin, Cas, and Dean back while also throwing help Charlie's way. Basically, the sequel is the book that I started writing last summer, then I realized that it needed a back story. This was the backstory. Gotta admit, it feels weird writing a story with darkness that isn't Amara, and literally no Lucifer, but there it is anyway.

Leave a comment and a fav. if you enjoyed it, and as always thanks for reading. You can find me on Tumblr as spearywritesstuff.