Under New York City

IV. For Old Time's Sake

(She thought this was home, but there's nothing here for her but heartbreak and exhaustion.)

The day she comes back, she spends her entire plane ride trying to control her breathing. Sure, her transfer student college experience was great, but she's missed her friends. She misses how Lucas would leave her food when he didn't have time to wait for her to wake up, and she'd missed how Riley would always set up a mattress of pillows for when Maya would inevitably roll off her bed in the middle of the night.

She gets off the airplane, exhausted, and looks around. Her mom's not there, not that she expected her to be. Still, it would've been nice to see a familiar face.

"Maya!"

She smiles, turning around. There's her familiar face.

"Hey, Riles." She takes a few small steps forward before Riley wraps her arms around her in a crushing hug.

"Air, honey." She chuckles. "I need air."

"Sorry!" Riley takes a few steps back, looking her up and down. "Wow."

"What?"

"You got so tall!"

Maya rolls her eyes. "Don't mock me."

"No, really!" Riley continues. "What are you now, 5'2"?"

Maya scoffs. "I wish. Is anyone else here?"

Is Lucas here?

"Don't worry, Maya, your boyfriend will be here." Riley teases. Maya rolls her eyes.

Still, she can't help but beam when he shows up.

.

.

Riley's car is full of fast food wrappers and loose change, same as it was before Maya left. She slides into the passenger seat while Lucas lifts her bags into the trunk.

"I can't believe you're finally back!" Riley leans over to Maya for another hug. "We missed you so much, Peaches, there's so much we need to tell you!"

"Riley, you're choking her."

"She's fine!"

Maya chuckles and settles into her seat as the car starts. Riley launches into her first story, something about hiding Missy's new cat from the campus police. Every few seconds she glances back over, as if she's making sure Maya's still there.

"And then Lucas—" Riley glances at Lucas through the rear view mirror. "Do you want to tell her or should I tell her? No, nevermind, you tell her."

"What am I telling her?"

"Forget it, I'll tell her." Riley brings her eyes back to the road. "So Lucas wanted to help out, y'know? So he took his pocket knife and opened the air duct and we put the cat up there…"

Maya snorts. "Good ol' Huckleberry, always prepared to help a pretty girl's cat."

Lucas rolls his eyes. "You know me."

Riley glances back and forth between them for a few seconds. "Was that a euphemism?"

(Maya snorts again, then breaks out into laughter. Lucas's face burns as he shakes his head and tells Riley that no, it was not a euphemism, Maya's just being a dork.)

.

.

It takes a while for Maya to settle back into her dorm.

According to Riley, her replacement roommate hadn't been half as good as Maya.

"She was always using all the milk and putting the empty container back into the fridge." Riley complains. "And she actually threatened to throw away my ketchup if I kept putting it on my mac n' cheese."

"She sounds awful." Maya grins. "But I'm still never forgiving you for doing that."

.

.

The next morning, she wakes up three hours late and has to sprint to her third class.

(Stupid fucking time difference.)

.

.

She doesn't really talk to Lucas.

It feels wrong, somehow, to be here and not be with him. But he seems busier than when she left.

He's changed a lot more than she thought he would. He's taller, duh, but also more confident. More outspoken, willing to challenge people like he wouldn't have before.

She probably should have known. You can't expect everyone to be the same as they were a year ago, she tells herself. And yet, she didn't expect this.

Lucas walking around campus with his new friends. Swinging his arm over Missy Bradford's shoulder. Coming to their dorm at night with different lipsticks on his neck and chin.

It's hard not to love him, and she doesn't want to be jealous. But she is, and this sucks, and she misses California and her Lucas-free life.

Who cares, anyway? Who cares if he's got new friends? He came to the airport, didn't he? Just for her. He's gotta remember how close they were. He's probably just… busy.

.

.

"You should talk to him." Riley tells her. "He's been mopey lately."

"He doesn't seem mopey." Maya drops a straw into her soda. "Besides, I've got Josh."

"I know you do." Riley says. "I was just suggesting it. You need to make an effort if you want to keep your old friends."

"He's the one who needs to make an effort." Maya argues stubbornly.

Still, she texts Lucas and gets him to hang out in her dorm for an hour before her afternoon classes begin.

(For old time's sake.)

.

.

Disappointingly, Riley still refuses to let Maya keep alcohol in their room.

"C'mon, Riles." Maya protests, but Riley shuts her down.

"If we had beer you'd be getting drunk 24/7." She says. "We can have fun without it, can't we?"

"Whatever." Maya huffs. "Let's go out, then. We haven't gone out since I've been back. It can be like a celebration."

Riley hums undecidedly. "Okay, fine. But no vodka tonight. I really don't feel like cleaning up your puke again, even if it's been a year."

Maya nods. "Promise."

.

.

She feels like shit.

Riley buzzes nervously around the dorm, full of agitated energy. Her presence isn't as soothing as Maya had hoped it would be.

"Riles, calm down." She whispers. "Everything's okay."

"How is everything okay, Maya?" Riley flops into a desk chair. "Nothing is okay. I don't know what to do."

"Thanks for the pep talk, babe." Maya grunts. "You don't have to do anything. Just stay here with me."

Riley sighs heavily. She spins the chair around a few times before joining Maya on the bed.

"I just wish I could do something." She murmurs.

Maya shakes her head. "Family shouldn't fight family. And I don't want you fighting anyone. Please, Riles."

The pillowcase rustles as Riley nods. "I love you, Peaches."

"Love you too."

.

.

Oh god.

Oh god oh god.

She should've known he would do this.

"What were you thinking?" Riley shrieks.

"What was I thinking?" Lucas asks incredulously. "You were the one who told me to do something!"

"You did what?" Maya turns to Riley. "Why would you do that?"

"I didn't tell him to do this!" Riley defends. "I just said he should do… I don't know! Something!"

"Everyone calm down!" Zay waves his hands frantically. "Okay? Okay."

Lucas rolls his eyes. "Yeah, thanks Zay. Who the hell are you, John Green?"

Zay narrows his eyes, but says nothing.

"Look, yeah, I beat Josh up." Lucas says, quieter. "He said some stuff… And I got mad. I didn't mean to, but I don't regret it."

Maya shakes her head, eyes blazing. "Of course you don't."

She shakes her head again.

Then she hugs him.

.

.

Paint paint paint.

Everywhere. Everything.

She tears through canvases like a hurricane, crazed and unstoppable. She's inspired. It's exhilarating.

Lucas sits behind her as she works.

.

.

"Missy dumped Lucas!"

Maya spins lazily in her desk chair. "Sorry?"

Riley bounces in place, too excited to hold still. "Missy Bradford dumped Lucas for Lucy Shields!"

Maya blinks. "Is he okay?"

"Oh he's fine." Riley crosses the room in two strides, seating herself on Maya's lap. "Happy, probably."

"You're crushing me."

"You're not listening, Maya! Lucas is available."

"Oh." Maya is silent for a moment. "Oh. Riley, no way. He's not going out with me, he's never going out with me."

"But why?!" Riley shifts around to face Maya. "He's clearly into you, and you obviously like him."

"I do not." Maya argues.

"Yes you do, don't even pretend." Riley sighs. "Just think about it, okay?"

Maya doesn't say yes.

(She doesn't say no, either.)

.

.

She thinks about it.

She thinks about it a lot.

.

.

She gets a D on her English paper.

The paper she'd worked on for weeks. The paper she'd been so sure would save her grade. The paper she'd checked and double checked until she was sure it was good enough.

And it wasn't good enough.

"It's just one paper, Maya." Lucas tells her. "There will be others."

She shrugs. "Whatever, Huckleberry, I don't really care. Grades are dumb, anyway."

"I'm sure they'll let you redo it. Professor Burgess is pretty lax about that kind of stuff."

"I said I don't care." Maya snaps. "It doesn't matter, it's just a stupid grade. Let's go to Please Don't Tell."

"Is now really a good time to get drunk?"

She rolls her eyes. "It's always a good time to get drunk."

.

.

PDT is packed when they get there.

It's always crowded. It's the best low-budget cocktail bar in New York City.

She leads him to the bar and orders two Koyos.

The rest of the night is a blur.

.

.

She really hates road trips.

Packed cars always make her feel cramped. They remind her of moving. Place to place, once, twice, maybe three times in a year until her and her mother had finally found a place to stay.

She hates road trips.

But maybe this one isn't so bad.

Lucas hums along to the radio as they make their way to Katy Hart's house. A box of presents for the family (mostly artwork) rattles around in the trunk. Flecks of snow collect on the windshield, white and magical, then watery and gone.

"You can stay, y'know." Maya says. "Once we get there. I know you couldn't get a flight out to see your family."

Lucas glances over at her. "You sure?"

"Sure." Maya nods. "Mom and I always get a little lonely, anyway."

Lucas thinks for a moment. "Okay. I'll stay."

Her mom is friendly when they arrive, and she easily lies and tells her mother that the Matthews took a trip to Hawaii. Lucas plays along.

(After dinner they watch Christmas classics on her mother's 16 inch TV.)

.

.

She's reading Birdsall's The Penderwicks on Gardam Street when he wakes up. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes, staring at her expectantly.

"Oh, Huckleberry. You're up." She sets her book on the bed. "I made you food."

He makes some snarky comment about how her "food" is cereal and a fruit bowl, and she rolls her eyes and gives him his present anyway. He opens it and goes off on some rant about how Canon has the best quality film cameras and blah blah blah, I'm a fucking camera geek, but it comes together at the end when he sets down the camera and gives her a thank you hug.

.

.

She takes his hand on one of their morning jogs.

If he notices, she doesn't see it. She just stares straight ahead.

(Who cares what he thinks?)

.

.

"Hart!"

She spins to find Zay smiling charmingly.

"What do you want, Babineaux?" She grunts.

"Party tonight at PDT." He hands her a flyer. "It's gonna be a rager. You should come."

"Gamma Gamma Nu?" She scoffs. "What are you, their agent?"

"Come on, Maya. It won't be the same without you. Besides, this ain't just any Gamma Gamma party." He points to the flyer again.

"Third Annual Gamma Gamma Nu End of the World party?" She shakes her head. "God, what a mouthful."

"I know, I know, but they said it's tradition. Besides, they rented out the whole bar. It's gonna be great."

Maya shrugs. "Maybe I'll show up. If I've got nothing better to do."

"Trust me, kid." Zay smirks, already backing away. "You'll be there."

.

.

"You sure you don't want to come with me?"

"Yes, Maya, I'll be fine all by my lonesome. Frat parties aren't really my thing."

"They're not mine, either, babe."

"So stay here."

"I already promised Babineaux I'd go. Besides, it might be fun."

"Sure, Maya. Be safe."

.

.

The room is spinning.

Or she's spinning.

Everything is spinning.

Brandon bounces next to her. His hair flops into his face.

Everything smells like tequila.

What is she having? She doesn't know.

Zay tells the bartender to make it a double.

Lucy doing body shots off of Missy in the corner.

They look happy.

Zay orders another round.

.

.

She wakes up and her mouth tastes like death. Someone had the brains to close the shades before the morning light blinded her. Is this what a coma feels like? Can she move? Is she moving?

"Peaches?" Riley swims into her vision. "You okay?"

"Hung." Maya states. "Over."

"Yeah, sweetie, I know." Riley smiles. The bed sinks as she sits down. Maya closes her eyes again.

"What time is it?" She asks.

"It's four in the afternoon."

"Water?"

"Right here."

Riley helps her sits up. The water does nothing to wash away the taste in her mouth.

"Thanks, Riles." She says gratefully. "You're the best."

"Aww…" Riley smiles. "I know."

"What happened?" Maya asks. "I don't remember leaving."

"Zay called Lucas to get you once the party died down." Riley says. "You shouldn't have drank that much, Maya, it's dangerous."

"I know, I'm sorry." Maya groans. "Lucas picked me up?"

"Yeah. He dropped you off at at three."

"Thank him for me?"

"Do it yourself."

But Maya's already asleep.

.

.

She's confused.

Is he being weird? Is she being weird? Did something happen?

'Cause it feels a lot like he's blowing her off.

.

.

"Fuckin' hell I'm bored."

She glances up to find him pacing the room.

"What's the matter, Huckleberry?" She drawls. "Did you run out of things to take angsty pictures of?"

"Shut up, Maya." He tosses a pillow in her direction. "Zay was supposed to meet me on the diamond for a game, but he bailed."

She raises her eyebrows. "Baseball?"

"Yeah, baseball." He sighs heavily. "He was supposed to help me practice my swing."

"I could pitch to you." She says offhandedly.

"Sure, Maya." He laughs. "Like you play baseball."

"I do." She sits up, swinging her legs off the foot of the couch. "I did, anyway. In my junior year."

"For real?" Lucas seems surprised. "Were you any good?"

"Good enough." She stretches her arms over her head, standing. "Come on, Bucky, I could use some exercise."

Lucas grins and grabs a bat and a glove.

.

.

"Wow." Maya whistles. "This is a throwback."

"I thought you remembered it."

"I thought you wanted my help."

Lucas raises his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright. Let's go."

Maya treks out to the pitcher's mound. Lucas's glove is big and bulky on her hand, but she thinks she can work with it. She tosses the ball a few times before setting up.

"And here comes the windup." She says to herself. "She pitches a clean cutter straight down the middle of the field."

She can hear Lucas's commentary as the ball sails towards him.

"Friar swings the bat — the ball flies deep into left field! It's gone!"

She laughs. "Not quite gone, Friar."

"And your cutter wasn't that clean, Hart."

She shrugs. "Fair enough. Let's go again."

.

.

It's late when they get back. Lucas takes his bat and glove and saunters across the hall to his dorm — probably still proud about his rotational swing, whatever that means. Maya rolls her eyes and pushes into her dorm.

Riley's fast asleep, fully decked out in her purple pajama dress. Maya thinks Riley's probably the only college student ever who is literally twenty and six years old at the same time.

She doesn't bother changing, her muscles already starting to ache from her time on the field with Lucas. She drops onto her bed, pulls the covers halfway over her, and stares at the glowing red numbers on their alarm clock.

"Don't think about him." She whispers to herself. "Just go to sleep."

(She can't.)

.

.

She likes to think that she's not the kind of girl to pine over someone.

And she's not. Really.

Not usually.

Usually, she's able to just go for it. She's not scared — she wasn't subtle with Billy, and she sure as hell wasn't subtle with Josh. Maybe she doesn't even like Lucas.

But maybe she does.

He's such a good guy. Not at all like anyone she's ever dated before. And he's sexy, sure, but that's not news to anyone.

She just… enjoys spending time with him.

Weird.

.

.

Things slowly go back to normal between them.

She's happy, really she is. Whatever happened in the aftermath of the End of the World seems to be forgotten. But something feels wrong.

Normal doesn't feel as good as it used to.

yeah, i kind of dropped this fandom. i'm not sorry for that, but i am very sorry for not updating for so long. chapter five will be up shortly, it's already halfway written. my writing style has evolved a lot over the last few months, and though i tried to keep this as close to the original style as possible, i don't think i managed very well. whatever, this account's dead as soon as this story's over.