A/N: You guys are really adorable :D

I'm so glad there have been so many PMs and requests for me to update! Thank you for reviewing, it makes my day Here's the chapter you guys waited for. Guray Fullubusteru.

"Ice-u Make-u Lance-u!"

I cry, right fist closed on my opened left palm. The light boy switches on a fan right under my ass and my hair flies all over the place.

"Guraay!" I hear Mashima literally coo. "Stttrip!"

Insert shudder.

Yeesh. Hello there, I'm Gray Fullbuster. More like Gray Stripbuster. Or Gray Fullstripper.

God-fuckin-dammit.

Why exactly, just why did I ever sign up for this tv show? Well I didn't, to be honest. Let me tell you a story.

Do you know the man who ran down a street naked one day screaming "Eureka!" when he invented ice cubes?

Or do you know the naked bozo who burst into a café one time and asked for a hot dog, looked down and said: "Wait, just the bread part"?

Or the woman who climbed up Mount Everest wearing a two-piece bikini?

Don't know them? Well. There's my great grandfather, uncle and mother.

You seriously fell for that, didn't you? That's what everyone thinks. That I'm this crazy man who loves showing his goods to the entire universe and those who bother to watch (and with my goods, it's hard not to bother. Just saying).

Here's how Mashima picked me up. Literally.

Before Fairy Tail happened, I was a model for artists. Yes, I stood stark naked in the middle of a room of bug-eyed artists, who I'm sure pretended to scribble on their canvases when they were actually ogling.

So once this crazy looking Japanese man walked right in, hoisted me over his shoulder, and walked away with me trashing in tow. Now I'm pretty strong, but Mashima is just crazy.

That, my friends, was how I ended up on Fairy Tail. I had to give an audition, which comprised a lot of stripping and dancing (I have NO idea why). With all this clothes-shedding, I have lost my identity and self-respect completely because I'm the only one on the sets who has to prance around in his undies.

Wait. Why is that pink-haired bastard staring at me?

"Whaddya want, sissy?" I call out.

"Tell your goods to stop waving at me, stripper." Natsu smirks.

"Tell your gay hair to stop winking at me, faggot." I reiterate.

My goods DO NOT wave at other men. Mostly not. It can't help it with all this air-conditioning okay?!

"My hair is NOT gay!" he yells from across the room.

"And I'm the queen of Sheba," I roll my eyes at him.

"Wanna go, Princess Penis?!" he yells.

"I ain't going anywhere with you, Princess Pinkedoodle!"

Me (Ms. KClare) : Guys T-T Please stop fighting and give me my interview! D:

SHUT IT, stalker!

Me: I…I'm a stalker? *puppy dog eyes*

Okay fine, you're not. Where was I? So yeah, I'm gay and…

Me: Wait, what?!

What? I said I'm Gray!

Me: You said gay, Gray!

I am NOT gay, woman.

Me: But what about all those stories on Fanfiction. Net?

Everybody is crazy.

Me: I think people will get annoyed with this format of interview, Gray. And I'm paying you, can you at least make your interview a little funny? The genre for this is Humour, dammit!

I AM funny okay? It's not my fault!

Me: So anywayyyy~ You said dancing? You dance? *le flirtatious wink*

Well yeah.

Me: Can you show us some moves?

*sounds of attack and molestation*

A/N: Ahem, sorry… I couldn't contain myself. ANYBODY would jump a dancing Gray :P

Guys, I'm super sorry for the delay. The fact is that I couldn't find anything to write for Gray D: Can you imagine that? T-T

So anyway, thanks for reading and I'm sorry if this chapter's not up to the mark. I'm looking for a co-author for this story. Anybody interested? PM me right away!

Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review!

KClare.