Dear Diary: Open your Eyes

Disclaimer: I do not own Blue Exorcist or any of its characters. I do, however, own Erika Miyamoto and the creepy pond lady. Cheers.

'Dear Diary,

I think this whole thing is stupid, really. My psychologist recommended (and when I say 'recommended' I mean, 'forced') me to get this book thing, because apparently it'll hope me cope with my mother's death. Which is stupid, because, as of yet, I haven't been able to remember barely anything of it – or her. Stupid psychological mechanisms. If I hadn't, apparently, 'built up this wall', I'd be home free. But nooooo! Of course, something must be wrong. I must be grieving. But how do you grieve for someone you never knew?

As always, your shitty Erika'

Walking into a place you don't know is hard – eyes are always on you, judging you, waiting for you to make a wrong move. Or so it seems anyway. The school itself was most intimidating. It rose into the sky like a mountain of buildings – a concrete, semi-urban jungle-like mass of glorious buildings. Stone bridges connected the sturdy, yet elegant, looking structures – each like a castle of their own. The place looked like a small city! But it was only a school; an academy for the rich and intellect.

Erika paused in her train of thought – Did that make her smart? She never considered herself to be rich. But then again, her legal guardian, a strict old man named Tyrel, had paid for her tuition – so maybe he had more cash than he was letting on. She nodded to herself, absently.

The shaking and cluttering of the train seemed to increase as it rode into a tunnel. Almost there… Erika just wanted to get it over and done with. She didn't want to attend True Cross Academy. It seemed too flamboyant for her tastes – the dress-code screamed 'prep', and the overly grand nature of the school just didn't suit her. Although she herself could be very… Queer herself; she had seen pictures of the Headmaster, and that had been enough.

The vehicle began to slow, wheels screeching against the rails, and finally, reached a halt. Erika heard excited chatter between the girls, who were jumping up from their seats and grabbing their bags. She heard playful banter between the boys, and silly debates over what pizza topping was the best (obviously ham and pineapple, who were they kidding?). While it was all good and merry, Erika still didn't feel right. Something felt… Off.

Then again, everything had been off since her 'mother' had died. Not that she was going to mention it to the therapist that she had just managed to avoid. She would never admit that she had been… Seeing things.

It hadn't been anything much. Nothing scary. Just strange little… Things. Black, empty looking things. Their eyes were dark green, and they seemed to gaze through you. They unnerved Erika.

She had to get off the train.

When Erika walked into the school, she felt the same type of fear and anticipation that she had had when she was told that her apparent mother was dead. It was silly, really; here she was, comparing a school, that would probably only house her until she decided to drop out, to the most life-changing events in her life. Strange, wasn't it?

She felt disembodied, like she was walking in a dream. She aimlessly followed the crowd of students. She heard a speech – but she wasn't really listening anymore. Erika felt as though there was something tugging at her, so loosely and calmly that she felt like falling asleep right there. She suddenly felt weary. She began walking to nowhere in particular – the tug was still there. It felt like it was whispering 'Come to me' with every step she took. The soft, even clicking of her shoes on the concrete was like a slow rhythmic beat that filled her mind and her ears, and her soul. The day had gone by without her even noticing it, yet she didn't even care. So she wandered.

She walked on and on, absently noting the location of a few important places – like the place that was supposed to be her homeroom. She felt the sun fading below the horizon, and watched as the shadows danced and engulfed the world in a hazy shade of black and grey. Trees ate the sky, towering over her like friendly giants of the night. Her mind was muffled – was that a cricket she heard? Erika felt lulled; the daydream state was overwhelming.

And then suddenly, it was gone.

Everything was sharp, and clear, and frightfully real. Senses overloaded her brain, and she became tense. Where was she? What had happened? Had she entered a lapse? She had no idea. It looked like it was in a garden of sorts, with a small pool of water in the middle. It seemed lonely – overgrown and abandoned. She realized that the clearing was lined with a thick wall of trees; she must be in the forest, she thought. She was frightened, to say the least. She didn't know how to get out, and everything felt so big and scary – it was like she was a kid again. Yet the pond shone in the moonlight, in an ethereal manner. It drew Erika in. Closer… Closer… The dream almost pulled her in again. But she was aware this time; she felt it.

Erika turned to run away – anywhere, really – but she felt something cold hold her back. It was a hand, but it wasn't. It was the wind, but it was far too solid. Something was holding her shoulder in such a gentle manner, she was almost tempted to stay. But the freezing sensation that was running around in circles through her body was more than enough to know that something was terribly wrong.

'You're lonely…'

Erika froze up. It spoke. She had no idea what 'it' was, but apparently it had sentience, and could speak.

"That's all a matter of perspective, really." Erika replied flippantly, "You can talk and still say nothing – be together, but alone."

'Quaint… But you long for company, don't you, Green Eyes?'

Erika closed her eyes, and felt herself tensing by reflex. She was so scared. She was worried what she would find if she just turned around. Turn around. Turn around!

She rigidly began to turn her head around, eyes focused at the corner of her vision. But what she saw was unexpected.

A kind face – motherly, almost. It was sweet and beautiful. The woman was pale, with dark hair that flowed down her back in a silky braid. Her eyes were an almost glowing blue – and she was smiling.

'We are the same, Green Eyes… I'll be your friend… We can stay together… Forever… Just step into my pond…'

A friend? A companion? Erika felt a pang in her heart. Maybe she was a little lonely. After her mother's body was found, nothing was ever the same. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't even picture her face. She hadn't even seen the body.

She was so alone. It was a cold and hollow feeling. Maybe it would be easier to go along with the magical lady. Forever was a long time, with comfort.

Forever was a long time.

Suddenly Erika realized how stupid this was. She had just been lured out into a forest by some unknown lady, and here she was, actually considering to comply with her! How completely and utterly stupid.

"Thanks, but no thanks." Erika responded, finally. She felt as though a brick wall had been built around her mind, and it was now that Erika knew that the Witch's spell couldn't affect her any longer. She swept the hand away, and began walking away as fast as she could.

'No!' the creature hissed. Erika turned around just in time to see the woman's face convulse from a sweet maiden, to an ugly, horrifying one. Her eyes shrunk to black beady dots, and her face wrinkled. Her nose became beak-like, and her teeth turned sharp.

Run. Fear. Run.

Erika bolted out of the small clearing and into the forest. She heard the crunching of footsteps on leaves behind her, and she knew it was chasing her. She swerved around the trees, trying to lose it, but failed. Faster, faster! Her blood was pumping. Her eyes stung dry.

'Come back!'

She didn't know how long she ran. She had no idea where she was - it all looked the same. She didn't know when she lost the horrid thing. But when the trees became sparse, she almost cried.

Almost out. Almost back to the school.

Erika hit the pavement.

She remembered that she woke up earlier than she should when she was faced with the ceiling of the school infirmary. Really, if she had hit the ground that hard, she should have sustained far more damage to her skull – it was almost a miracle that she didn't bleed out on the pavement. Scalp injuries were seriously bad, after all. The vague notion that she may have missed school also occurred, but she quickly dismissed it. Erika sort-of remembered someone saying – at one stage or another – that all first-years had a week to settle in before school started.

Suddenly, a curst looking woman in white strut over to her, heels clicking impatiently against the floor. She wore pointed glasses, and her hair was held back in a tight bun. She held up a clipboard, and tapped her pen open.

"So, Miss Miyamoto, would you like to explain why you were out in the forest after curfew?" the nurse inquired, with a sour look on her face, "One o'clock in the morning isn't a good time for a jog."

Erika averted her gaze and chewed on the inside of her mouth, "Ah, actually, I was walking at three. But I got lost and I couldn't find my way out. I heard strange noises and panicked – that's why I look a bit worse for wear – I'm fine really! I just need sleep. Lots of sleep."

She didn't even believe herself anymore.

It had to be a hallucination – of course! She had been getting very absent lately. It was all perfectly explainable – the sleep deprivation made her see things, and her psychological mindset created the Pond Woman. That's all it was, and illusion. It had to be – if it wasn't then that meant that it was real. Erika couldn't accept that. No, she was just going mad!

Really, the situation went both ways.

"Mhm." The nurse hummed, rolling her eyes and mumbling, "Ah, I wouldn't say that it'd be the first time a ditz got lost at night…"

Erika froze. Other people had gone into the woods? She felt a cold sweat coming on as she remembered the woman's kind face, beckoning her to come forwards, closer… Closer…

"Oh? O-Other people?" Erika stammered, trying to remain calm.

The nurse groaned, "Yes, honey. Apparently a bunch of kids have been going in and coming out all frazzled. Some scary lady. Now, now – just get your sleep…"

Erika clenched her jaw, "Uh, don't you think it's a bit st-strange? Shouldn't someone look into it? A-and, isn't it just the beginning, the beginning of the year?"

"Well, nobody has lodged a complaint so far so…" the nurse droned, flicking through her clipboard, "So since you say you're fine sweetie, you can leave if you just sign here…"

Erika took the pen and the clipboard from the nurse's out stretching hands and quickly signed her name on the forms – but her mind was elsewhere. Her thoughts quickly processed, as she made a decision.

"Who can I see about this, exactly?"

The meeting with the headmaster had started with nerves begging Erika to just pretend the whole thing hadn't happened and run away before it got even worse. But the moment she had knocked on the door, she had entered some kind of grim resolution.

When she had entered the elegant room, she felt even worse, however. The man had the most bemused smirk on his face, and his green eyes pierced through her, like he was already reading her mind. But it had started, so, by her moral standard of politeness, she began to explain herself – or was that more like 'rant'?

"… I understand that sounds crazy, and I don't really mind if you refer me back to my doctors, because that just gives me a new reason not to be here, so…" Erika drawled, "Um, yeah…"

"Oh." Mephisto finally sighed, "Is that all then? I thought it would something more troublesome…"

Erika felt her eyebrow twitch. She'd just faced possible humiliation for that response? Was the man seriously that much of an idiot? He certainly looked like one, she would admit. But when she saw the hint of a smile on his lips, she knew that the moron was just playing her for a fool. As was her fate, really – it sometimes felt as it the entire world was just out to make her look like an idiot.

"I'll have someone see to it. Ah, maybe Okumura-sensei?" the headmaster drawled, "But, on more important matters, have you noticed anything else… out of the ordinary?"

He gave her a look, and with that look she knew that he knew. He knew that she had seen the evil fly-monsters. He knew that she had seen a creature that seemed far too real to be fake. But in spite of all this, he seemed almost pleased. Not disinterested as he had seemed as she spoke earlier, and certainly not pitying.

"Really, it's all a matter of what strange you're referring to." Erika blurted, impulsively, "Strange like your color palette? If that were the case I'd already be in a mental institute."

'God damnit mouth.'

Without allowing room for the 'respectable, authoritative' figure in front of her to be offended or to intervene, she continued, feeling an obvious disregard for any future she may have had.

"However, if you mean 'things-that-seem-unreal-but-real-at-the-same-time' strange, then yeah. I guess so."

Obviously, the man mustn't have understood her meaning; otherwise he wouldn't have said what he did:

"Would you like to become an Exorcist?"

"Um. What?" Erika coughed.

When he had said that, her mind instantly thought of those cliché horror movies with the chicks with ugly faces and spinning heads. But more to the point, just what the hell was he implying? Was she seeing demons? She wasn't sure if that should be comforting or concerning – really, just the thought of those silly little black creatures being nasty creatures from hell was very disheartening. She was just starting to find them cute too!

"You see, Miyamoto-san," Mephisto began, leaning backwards on his seat, "In this world, there are two different planes of existence – both rest like mirrors, reflecting each other, but denying all contact. The realm in which we reside is 'Assiah'. However, the other, 'Gehenna', is full of what you would call 'demons'. Demons make contact to Assiah by possessing objects, animals, people…"

"I'm not sure if you're being serious, or if I should start looking for the hidden cameras." Erika said bluntly.

"Oh, I'm serious!" the pompous man laughed, "I'm sure that you see them outside – 'Coal Tars'. There aren't as many inside the Academy as in the city as we have magical barriers and wards preventing any dangerous demons from getting in, but they're easily recognizable."

Erika sighed, eyeing the now not-so-cute demon creature bobbing along outside the window, "Oh great." She began, sighing in defeat, "Does this mean that they're gonna casually eat my flesh or something when I'm not looking? Excuse the stereotypes."

Mephisto pulled a humored expression, making a barely restrained giggle in the back of his throat. "No. Sorry to disappoint – Coal Tars only possess some types of fungi."

"Nah, none taken. My entire stay here has been full of disappointments." the pale girl replied, joining in on the banter, "Really, sharing a room? Gosh, how am I supposed to live it down to good old Princess Katie? Plus, pink really isn't my color – it clashes horribly with my skin tone. Oh yeah, the whole demon attack thing wasn't all roses and daisies either."

The principal clutched his chest in mock horror, feigning shock, "Oh no! It seems that I have failed your highness!"

"Indeed." Erika frowned, shaking her head, "I deserve some R & R after this, damnit!"

"I can't do much about the uniform, but I can arrange a private room for you to compensate any displeasure felt upon your stay? Ohh! How will I ever live this down?" Mephisto sobbed.

"Okay, this is fun and all, but if you're not serious about the whole room thing you'd best speak up now before I hold it against you." She deadpanned.

"Eh, what ever you wish your majesty." Mephisto replied flippantly.

"Sweet. Now, I believe we sidetracked from the initial conversation – what was it again? Something about Exorcists?"

"Oh right, we were talking about that weren't we?" he sighed, "You can see demons, as we have agreed, so you're left with two options: Become an exorcist, or sit back and avoid being called insane for the rest of your life."

"You know, I'm honestly starting to like you Sir. You're straight to the point; I can admire that. Do go on." Erika commented, seating herself on the puffy chair adjacent to the desk.

"Exorcists 'cleanse' demons from Assiah, either by destroying them or simply sending them back to Gehenna, of which they generally came. This can be achieved through defeat with a demon or cursed sword, blessed bullets and weapons, or the reciting of a fatal verse. Tamer's summon demons to do their bidding."

Erika feigned a painful intake of air, "Damn. How on earth am I supposed to choose between a real-life, highly dangerous, all-stakes RPG and insanity? Not to mock exorcists of course. They seem pretty solid. And here I thought religion was just an over-glorified way of earning money."

"I'm not denying that, but you do need to make a choice. Although class doesn't start until next week, cram school began yesterday afternoon." Mephisto commented.

"C… Cram school?" the girl stammered, "What – you mean there's work required? Tch."

"Yes, now stop making stupid comments and make an adult decision. What you choose could change the course of your life forever!" Mephisto announced, growing tired, "I was about to play this new video-game I bought on the weekend – based of some ninja anime I think."

Erika's 'Otaku-Radar' went on high alert, but she ignored it, "Well, it sounds fun. The prospect of facing near death experiences while also maintaining a calm façade is appealing, but school usually means work, and by work I mean exams, and by exams I mean the post-apocalypse."

"Of course, there's the highly real factor that 'death' really does mean 'death' in this case. No extra lives, just game over. Hmph. How troublesome." She continued, "However, this does save me a lifetime of trying to get a job, and if I don't do it I have to face a lifetime of seeing that crap – why can I see them anyway? I don't remember seeing them before…" Erika pursed her lips.

"Oh, that usually comes from a Temptaint – a wound or illness inflicted by a demon." The headmaster obliged, "Sometimes it's done by ritual, some of the other Exorcists in-training received a Temptaint last night, but sometimes it's due to a demon attack… Do you remember when something like that may have happened?"

It was now that Erika finally noticed what she had been feeling ever since her 'mother's death – an aching, hollow emptiness that almost made a resurge last night; a loneliness that threatened to end her. But now it all seemed madly clear. Although her mind was nothing but jumbles, a broken puzzle, she knew why her mother had died, and she had an idea on why she couldn't remember her. Oh well – there's really only one way to clarify, isn't there?

"Where do I sign up?"

'Dear Diary Journal of Bullshittery

Yeah, my life sucks, but let's face it: Whose doesn't? We're all stuck in this colossal labyrinth of mysteries, truths and lies. The only way to find out your true answer is to suck it up and find the end. I've already wasted a year hiding behind excuses and praying for it to appear in front of me – it's time to get up and start searching, damnit.

- As always, your shitty Erika'

A/N: I've decided to awkwardly pretend like I don't have a whole heap of One Piece fanfictions on standby and hide in this fandom. This stated out as really odd rambles – you can probably tell where I started caring. The whole conversation between Erika and Mephisto was hilarious to write, fyi. Also, sorry if I offended your religion. It was late and I was getting more insane as the night progressed xD I have no idea if the 'explains' I provided were accurate because I'm lazy, lemme know if somethings up so I can mend it. I may not update this very often as I suck, but I'm shockingly excited about this, so I'll try lol. Any feedback would be much appreciated!