A/N: Happy 4th of July to my fellow Americans!
Disclaimer: I own nothing Bones related except my imagination.
Booth sat at the kitchen counter pretending to read the newspaper and studied the small bronze disc in his hands, slowly rubbing it between his fingers and letting the feel of it seep into his system. He'd just received it the night before. It was really quite small as far as trophies go – maybe just a little more than 1-1/4 inch diameter, less than 1/8 inch thick, but it was huge in terms of what it meant to him. The Serenity Prayer was written on the back side: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. The front depicted a banner along the top containing the words Gamblers Anonymous which, coupled with the phrase One Day at a Time along the bottom, wrapped around the raised center that in this case depicted 0.5 - the number of years that had passed since his last bet.
0.5.
Six months.
It was a major achievement and it felt wonderful to hit this milestone. Bones came with him last night to the GA meeting where he was awarded for his success and afterward, when they got home, she made sweet love to him with a tenderness and devotion that left no room for doubts about her love for him and her pride in his accomplishment.
But, he also knew it was just a baby step on the path ahead of him. He had a 10-year medallion tucked away in the back of his sock drawer that he had earned shortly before he fell off the wagon so he truly understood this time around that his addiction was something he'd have to be vigilant about for the rest of his life. It would never fully go away.
That's not to say things hadn't gotten better, easier. As he'd told Bones once, when he was actively gambling, he'd bet on about anything. But, his real weakness this last go around had been sporting events and it had taken a while for the siren's call to fade away enough for him to even enjoy watching an event without his mind constantly calculating odds and being distracted by potential payoffs.
Bones had banned watching any sort of sporting event on TV or the computer in the house for the first four months, only recently relenting and allowing one or two events a week.
Instead, she had surprised him with last minute tickets to a handful of collegiate sporting events where he'd not known who the star players were or any team stats so he'd not been tempted to make bets. They took Christine and the baby with them and he found himself just enjoying the games for the good entertainment they provided, loving the opportunity to teach his little girl about the sports he followed. He thought that had been pure genius on Bone's part, and told her so, as it helped refocus his attention of the love of sport and away from the thrill of the gamble.
He still heard the devil on his shoulder whispering into his ear with suggestions, taunting him, but it was a softer whisper now and so far, he'd been able to tune it out or shush it by focusing on other voices, like his wife's, reminding him that the stakes were too high, and he'd lose too much, even if he won.
He and Aubrey had inadvertently stumbled into a poker night a few weeks back when pursuing a lead for a case they were working. It was at a private residence and they'd walked in to the house to find about a half dozen tables set up with various poker games going on. Aubrey had spoken quietly into his ear, telling him to focus on the people, not the games, reminding him softly over and over what they were there to look for. When Booth did that, he was mildly surprised and slightly repelled by what he saw. There were at least two dozen people in the house whose attentions were concentrated intently on the cards and the majority of them were losing and simply looked sad. He'd always carried a mental picture in his head of card games being somewhere he could be winning and happy, but the evidence in front of him clearly refuted that. After interviewing the person they'd come to find, he and Aubrey left and Booth found himself surprisingly happy to go, not at all enticed to stay and join in as the overall atmosphere of loss and despair or desperation had given him a fresh perspective on what the game was really about.
Six whole months.
Things were almost back to where they used to be.
Bones no longer questioned him about every phone call that came in, studying him with a look that clearly indicated she was trying to determine whether he'd been speaking code to a bookie.
She didn't quiz him as intensely about his whereabouts every time he was out of the house as she'd done for a while there right after the whole Jimmy Kosinski ordeal.
Bones was still cautious about giving him access to large sums of money. She'd moved most of their ready cash out of their joint account while he'd been in Iraq with Cam, and she'd deliberately kept the balance on that account low since then so he couldn't withdraw more than a couple thousand dollars without her knowledge or permission. She told him the money was still theirs and if he needed or wanted it for some purpose other than gambling, she'd make it available to him. She wasn't trying to punish him. But, she didn't trust his addiction and thought it best to remove temptation. Booth understood. Even agreed with her. It was the broken trust that was harder to swallow and something he acknowledged would still take some more time before it was healthy and whole again.
Looking across the open expanse of their living space, he could see her now, sitting on the couch, breastfeeding their always hungry four-and-a-half month old son while Christine sat at her feet playing with her dolls. She looked so natural there . . . a natural Madonna, their son tucked snuggly to her chest while she patiently answered questions and offered comments to Christine.
His family. He loved them all more than words could say, but the beautiful woman at the center was his touchstone. He thanked God every day for letting her be in his life and for her ability to forgive and give him another chance.
He took one gamble too many a few months earlier when he put their future at risk and he was determined to ensure it never happened again. One day at a time.
A/N: This is obviously the end of this little story folks. Time for me to focus on some others I've left hanging too long. Thanks for all the support you provided along the way with reviews, favorites, and follows. I appreciated it all. Any final comments are welcome.
