Gathering human data

Explorer's log, Earth date 8th of June 2011

Nineteenth entry

Subject: Wonderful news!

I have spoken too soon. Grey sent roses to the apartment I have to myself since Kate has gone away with Elliot. Today, Grey emailed me to offer me a ride to an exhibit from someone named José. I have no idea who that is and, at first, neither did my vessel. Eventually, she remembered that this José person is a friend of hers. A close friend, Ana insists, though I find that a dubious statement considering she forgot about his very existence until she was reminded of it.

In lieu of bothering with that, I have embarked on a second round of job interviews, carefully keeping to my not-too-honest behaviour. I admit that I would feel bad if the time came to leave this planet and I left Ana without any future prospects. My witless vessel is perfectly capable of ruining her life herself.

Wonderful news!

My evil overlords have reviewed the information I have provided so far and they have reached a decision. To protect the human race, I must prevent Christian Grey from procreating. After ascertaining that this was a real directive and not again a muddled message from Bob, I am overjoyed about this mission.

I think command expects me to sterilise him, but they have authorised me to achieve the target objective in whatever way I see fit. Therefore, I plan to kill Grey. He has too much money and is too convinced of his own superiority to be sure that sterility will stop him from finding a method to somehow beget children.