Title: After Effects

Rating: T

Pairing: Garrus/FemShep

Note: Just finished Priority: Thessia and skipped to Omega before reading my Private Messages. After reading fucking Kai Leng's fucking cowardly message for the hundredth time, I decided to write a fic about how I wish Shepard would have reacted—or at least how I would have reacted. Enjoy.

Shepard pulled the chest piece of her armor apart as Cortez flew them back to the Normandy. She had just finished helping Aria retake Omega, she needed that after her loss on Thessia. Cerberus blood and Mech oil covered her armor. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't enjoyed the mission—she only wished Nyreen had made it. But, she couldn't dwell on it. For now, her anger as been sated and now it was off to Sanctuary...after she took a shower and cleaned off her armor.

"I hope things weren't too bad while I was gone." Shepard commented after taking off the rest of her armor. She pulled on her N7 jacket over her tank and grabbed her pants.

"Nah," Steve c shrugged, hitting a couple of the holo buttons, "Joker was worried, Major Alenko as well, but they knew you could handle it. They just didn't trust Aria—none of us do, making you leave your team behind."

Shepard grunted, pulling her pants up, "I wasn't happy about it either but I got what I needed. More eezo, troops, and Aria. She doesn't know what to make of me, said I was both dangerous and unreadable. Guess that's a good sign."

"Think she'll keep her word?"

"She better." Shepard moved up to the front of the Kodiak, her boots in her hand. She sat down in the seat next to Cortez and started to put her boots on, "She doesn't want to mess with someone whose dangerous and unreadable...I think I remind her of herself, she's worried about me becoming a threat."

"You?" Steve chuckled, "I don't think you're anything like Aria, Commander."

"Thank you for that, Steve." Shepard smiled, leaning back in her chair, "A lot of people would kick my ass if I became another her."

"I think they would be disappointed, ma'am." Steve shrugged, "You're better than Aria...Approaching the Normandy."

Shepard stretched her arms out in front of herself, "Finally, ugh...can't wait to relax."

"Think you'll be alright for Sanctuary?" Steve landed the Kodiak in the shuttle bay, the hanger doors closing behind them.

"Yeah." Shepard stood up, "Just need a little R'N'R...I'll be back for my armor in an hour."

"Okay, Commander." Steve nodded to Shepard as she left. Samantha was the first to welcome Shepard back on the ship, along with a few private message's she had forgotten to read before heading off to Omega.

"I'll read them in my cabin." Shepard cracked her neck, "EDI?"

"Welcome back, Shepard. Is there something I can do for you?" EDI's voice sounded from the intercom.

"Thanks, EDI. Will you just let my crew know I made it back safe? Oh, and set a course for Sanctuary. I want to be there by tomorrow." Shepard headed back to the elevator.

"Very well, Shepard."

"Thank you!" Shepard chirped before walking into the elevator. She punched the button for her cabin and the doors shut.

"Ah," Shepard rolled her shoulder, hissing as it popped out of place. An old injury that never properly healed during her N7 training. She stretched her arm over her head, using her other hand to guide her shoulder back in place. The elevator door's opened, walking out after she successfully popped her shoulder back in. She opened her cabin door and walked over to her Private Terminal.

"Let's see what I've missed." Shepard leaned down and opened her messages.

"Some reports on Reaper activity...new upgrades, talk to Glyph...blah, blah blah, yadda, yadda, yadda...wait, what's this? Evacuating Thessia from asari military command...oh, no."

From: Asari Military Command

Good. You opened this message. This isn't actually asari military command. They're busy tending to what's left of their planet.

So you survived our fight on Thessia. You're not as weak as I thought. But never forget that your best wasn't good enough to stop me. Now an entire planet is dying because you lacked the strength to win. The legend of Shepard needs to be re-written. I hope I'm here for the last chapter. It ends with your death.

-KL

All the anger Shepard had worked off the last two days came back in a wave. Her body sending out a biotic pulse before a scream erupted from her lips. Shepard slammed her fist through her private terminal, her body pulsing with biotic rage, panting. The terminal sent out small bolts of electricity, shocking her arm. The glass that surrounded her ship models shattered, some of the models breaking as they shot out across the room. The fish tank's glass cracked but did not break, no water fell from the cracks. Shepard shook with rage, another yelled escaped from her as she slammed her fist through the terminal and on to the desk, breaking through it.

The lights in the ship flickered, EDI's voice coming over the intercom in the main battery.

"Garrus," EDI's voice was panicked, "Something is wrong with Shepard, she—" Garrus was running out of the main battery before EDI could finish her sentence. Pressing on the elevator button over and over before hoping in, he slammed his fist on Shepard's cabin button. Shifting his weight from foot to foot as the elevator took it's sweet time getting to the top floor. Garrus ran out of the elevator and opened Shepard's cabin door, ducking as her desk chair flew over him. Garrus hissed and rubbed his forehead as an old report log was thrown, successfully, at his head. Shepard was standing in the middle of the room facing Garrus. Her right arm had scorch marks and fresh blood dripping out of her cuts. Shattered glass was everywhere, the broken ship models were barely recognizable. The bed was turned over and the couch was leaned up against the wall. Her room was a mess, even the armor interface was static.

"What happened?" Garrus was cautions, to say the least, at Shepard's sudden emotions. He's never seen her this worked up before and he didn't even know why, "Shep—"

"Don't, Garrus." Shepard's body still glowed with biotic's, her shoulders shaking from rage, "Nothing you say could possibly make me feel less like a failure."

Garrus sighed and walked further into her cabin, the doors sliding shut behind him, "You can put away the biotic's, Shepard. You know you don't scare me."

"He's taunting me—Fucking Kai Leng sent me a message, Garrus! Asari Military Command, my ass!" Shepard threw her coffee table across the room, leaving a dent into the wall. She forced herself to stop using her biotic's, the glow around her body fading, but her rage still showed as her body shook. She scoffed and shook her head as she went on, turning away from Garrus, "'You're not as weak as I thought.' Since when have I ever been weak, Garrus? Huh?"

Shepard scoffed again, shutting her eyes tight as tears pricked the corners of her eyes, "I stopped Sovereign, I took down the Collector Base, I brought the quarian's and geth together! I'm the reason the Genophage is cured—the turian's and krogan are working together because of me! I was physically and psychologically tortured on more than one occasion and not once did I break! I met Leviathan—hell, I almost died because the damn thing wanted to keep me as one of it's pets, but I convinced it to fight with us against the Reapers! I fucking died, Garrus, and look at me! I'm alive and pissed and angry, ready to fucking prove to that fucker and Cerberus that I will not be dying—not until I say so and on my own God damn terms. Kai Leng will not be re-writing my legend and he will not be there for my last chapter! I will be the one to kill him—his last chapter will be death by my hands because of all the torment he has put me, my team, my crew, my family through!"

Shepard had turned back to Garrus as she yelled, silent and angry tears streamed down her cheeks. Her eyes were blood shot, her face paler than usual. Garrus slowly moved towards her, reaching a hand out before pulling her into a hug. Shepard resisted at first, trying to push him away, but lack of strength and will made her succumb to him.

"I'm not weak." Shepard cried against Garrus' armor. "I'm not—"

"You never were, or will be, Shepard." Garrus wrapped an arm around her waist, his talon curled into her hair, "You are the strongest person I know—"

"Not strong enough!" Shepard successfully pushed away from Garrus, her eyes glowing with hatred, "I wasn't strong enough to stop Cerberus! All those accomplishments, Garrus—all the people I've saved, helped, cured—and I can't even stop one person!"

"Shepard—"

"If I can't get the data, if I can't find the Illusive Man, if I—"

"Shepard!" Garrus gripped onto her shoulders as her biotic's started to activate again, "It isn't just you anymore. It's us."

"Gar—"

"Hush." Garrus leaned down, moving into her line of sight, "Listen to me, Shepard. What happened on Thessia, what Cerberus is doing now—it isn't just to you. It's everyone now. Liara and I were there with you, on Thessia, as it fell. We were there when Kai Leng took the VI from us, almost killed us. You haven't been alone in this fight, Shepard—you never were. A few of us have been here, with you, since the beginning. We know what's at stake, we know what to do and we will get it done."

"But—"

"Did I say you could talk yet?" Shepard averted her eyes and pouted as Garrus continued, "Losing Thessia took a toll on all of us. Liara took it pretty hard, but you? You've taken it the worse. No one is coming up to you and asking how you're doing, how you're handling this war. No one is coming up here, telling you that everything will be okay. You watched Earth get taken, but it wasn't the same as watching Thessia fall."

"I could have done something, Garrus." Shepard's voice cracked, "I should have—"

"You're doing exactly what needs to be done. You're going to save the galaxy once we get that VI back from Cerberus and then we're going to live happily ever after."

"Happily ever after?" Shepard shook her head, a smile forcing itself on her lips, "Think that's possible for us?"

"Why not?" Garrus shrugged, "I'm thinking somewhere tropical. A beach, perhaps?"

Shepard laughed, "Do you see how pale I am, Vakarian? I rather not turn red every time I walk outside."

Garrus chuckled, leaning his forehead against hers, "Where then?"

"I don't know." Shepard admitted, "I've never seen myself...retired. Never thought that far ahead."

"You didn't see the Reapers either." Garrus mumbled.

"Fair point." Shepard sighed, closing her eyes, "...Maybe on the island there'll be little children running around?"

"Our next adventure?" Garrus' mandible's twitched as he heard Shepard laugh, "Could we even have children? Not that I'm saying it isn't worth a shot but..."

"I love you, Garrus." Shepard spoke after a long pause.

"You are strong, Shepard," Garrus pulled away, capturing her chin between his talon's, "Believe me, I've had my fair share of near death experiences to know that you're the only person in this damn galaxy that can kill me."

"Huh," Shepard raised an eyebrow, her fingers wrapping around the edges of Garrus' armor, "You really think I could kill you?"

"Well, maybe not. You'd at least put up a good fight. That, I know for sure." Garrus leaned down, placing a kiss on Shepard's lips.

"You're an ass." Shepard spoke once Garrus pulled away, "But thank you, Garrus. This helped."

"Will you be okay?"

"No," Shepard sighed, "Not until I—" Garrus cleared his throat, his mandible's twitched as he looked down at Shepard.

"...We have the Prothean VI back. I need to know how to end this war, Garrus...We need to save the galaxy."

"And we will, but first..." Garrus looked around the room, "You should probably clean up your cabin."

"Me?" Shepard crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow, "What happened to us?"

"Us, is when we're facing down an enemy. You, is when you need to clean your cabin."

"Vakarian!" Shepard yelled at Garrus as he scurried out of her cabin.