DQ One-Shot: Lily Part 2

Mal felt a cool sensation on her face as she woke up from a deep slumber. Trying to take in the world around her, she noticed that she was in Regina's bed and panicked for a moment. She had forgotten how she got there for just a while until it all hit her. Her Lily was dead, it wasn't a bad dream after all; still she would give anything to wake up from this nightmare that reality was causing her. A clap of thunder startled her as she was still trying to wake up, flashes of lightning following shortly after. There were no storms in the forecast that afternoon and it was far too strange that it would storm when it was this brisk out, but when it rained it poured. As she came closer to her senses, she noticed Regina sitting beside her, holding a cool rag on her forehead and squeezing her hand. It truly was like old times, only she had never needed her so badly. Maleficent wasn't the one who had ever needed help or consolation; she was always the one giving it. After she had lost her daughter the first time, her emotions had shut themselves down. She went decades without crying. Without feeling. When Regina found her one night, blind with the need for revenge and fiery with passion, it started becoming harder for her to keep up the walls she had built around herself. This woman had the power to tear anyone down with her beauty, to make them fall to pieces under her touch.

Nothing would ever heal the pain of losing her child, even if she had never had the chance to know her. The countless number of dreams she had no longer meant a thing; nothing meant a thing anymore. The only remembrance she had of Lily was the egg that once sat graciously before her, filling her with anticipation of meeting her. She remembered it like it was only hours ago; picking out names, reading old books on motherhood and even designing a nursery for her. She remembered the first thing she bought in anticipation for her arrival, the rattle that she still couldn't let go of. Although she had not carried Lily in her body, she still felt the physical symptoms of pregnancy, whether or not that was all in her head still seemed to be a mystery. Conception while in dragon form wasn't something people knew much about, so she really didn't have a need to define her answers. She had spent the course of months sleeping for half of the day, having no energy and constantly craving the worst foods. Her body was constantly aching and nauseated and she had grown twice as emotional as she had before. Magic was a funny thing so nothing was impossible; still she wondered if it felt the same to go through a pregnancy that was one-hundred percent physical. Through all of the ailments her body had put her through, she put them aside and replaced them with thoughts of holding her child for the first time. She had felt an attachment to Lily from the moment she found out she was a mother-to-be, the feeling was electric. It held her together.

She wondered what Lily was like when she took her first breath in this world; who got to experience that moment that was so suddenly ripped away from her? What color were her eyes? Did she look like her? Who comforted her when she cried and who rocked her every night? It was probably so easy for them, soothing her child while making comments about how sorry they were for her lack of parents. Telling all of their friends about the daughter they had that no one wanted, the one who had a deadbeat mother and a father that walked out. She wondered what Lily was like as she got older. Did she have someone to braid her hair or cook her breakfast in the morning? Did they help her with her schoolwork and teach her how to act like a lady? It didn't matter what they did now, all that mattered is that the opportunities were taken from her. Nothing would ever change the fact that she was her daughter and no one else's; she loved her first. It still hadn't occurred to her to question what caused Lily's sudden death, especially at a young age. The time for those questions would come, but the fact that she was gone was all she needed to know to tear her apart. As much as she wanted to blame Emma, she couldn't. She believed her. It would have been so much easier if she had someone to lay all of the guilt onto, but the fact remained that Snow and Charming were still the guiltiest of them all. If it hadn't been for them, her daughter would have never gotten lost in that world. She would still be with her.

She felt Regina running fingertips lightly down her side as she came out of her own self-induced hysteria, forcing herself to stay grounded with her surroundings. Her eyes were still crying somehow, even though she figured she would have no tears left at this time. Her stomach churned and made her feel ill as the cycling thoughts of despair hit her in waves. She didn't want to talk. She didn't want comfort, there was no use. There never would be.

"How are you feeling dear?", Regina asked with concerned eyes. It was hard not to snap at her for asking the obvious, but she knew that she was only trying to help. It was more than anyone else would ever do, she should try to find some respect in that.

"I don't know why I'm up here. What time is it?"

"You passed out. You woke up for a few minutes before falling asleep, but I figured I'd let you get some rest and not wake you up. It's four-thirty and you look terrible, do you want something to eat?" Mal shook her head no and sighed. Her appetite would probably never return, just the way her happiness wouldn't. Her eyes were constantly locking on to all of the photos in Regina's home, she had so many that it was hard to keep away from them. On the nightstand beside her bed was a picture of her and Henry. He was just a young boy in the photo, wrapped tight in Regina's arms as they sat on a park bench together. They had probably shared that day with smiles and laughter without the fear of being torn from one another. Her hand tensed as the glass in the frame cracked, Mal feeling guilty for accidentally destroying half of the things in Regina's home. She had never experienced her powers becoming so unstable and uncontrollable, but love makes you do crazy things. Neither woman said a word and Regina said nothing of the damages that she was inflicting to her property, instead continuing to try to soothe her in every way she knew how. She wanted to wrap her arms around her but was afraid of her intentions being misjudged, she would never take advantage of Maleficent's weakness.

"I want to die Regina.", she whispered while staring at her. It wasn't something she had ever heard her say and she knew that there was no hint of exaggeration in her statement. The calmness and etiquette in her whisper was enough to fear for her well-being. If there was something she knew about Mal, it was that the quieter she got the worse she felt.

"I'm not letting that happen. You have too much to live for." Mal scoffed at this with a chuckle that was only supposed to show sarcasm.

"I have nothing to live for. This was all I was holding onto. This was all I had."

"I know it hurts but there are other reasons why you belong here.", she almost pleaded with her. This was the first time she had seen someone go through this type of thought process besides herself, remembering all too well what it was like to hold a sleeping curse inches away from her own finger.

"I don't understand why she's gone, I don't know what happened...", she finally said after another long moment of silence, her voice breaking as she finally started asking for answers that she really didn't want to hear.

"I don't know if now's the time for -"

"She was my daughter! I have the right to know what happened to her!", she yelled, causing Regina to wince at the loudness of her voice. For a moment Regina tried to quickly come up with a lie, knowing that the truth would only hurt her worse. She wasn't good at making up stories on the spot and digging herself into a hole wasn't in her best interest so she decided against it. "Regina you know something and I need you to tell me. Now. Please."

"Okay.", she responded under her breath. "I talked to Emma an hour or two ago. Lily developed some problems as she reached adulthood. She was in the foster care system and was considered a runaway. She hooked up with the wrong people and started developing bad habits. When her coworker went to check on her after not hearing from her for the past few days she had passed. She overdosed." The words hit Mal like a truck. There it was, like mother like daughter.

"I.. I don't.." She felt like she was going to faint again as her body broke with sobs. Her ploy to act independent no longer existed and she reached for Regina, desperate for touch. Desperate for someone to take away the pain. Every second that passed made her hurt worse and she started to question whether or not it was normal to feel this way. Did other people hurt this badly when they lost their child? Was she overreacting? Surely if she had ever seen someone acting the way she is she would have told them to suck it up. She had never had any empathy. The bottomless pit of hopelessness somehow continued to grow, almost reaching the whole way through her body. Was Lily's fate set in stone before Snow and Charming sabotaged her? Was her own bad behavior able to pass through genetics and ruin her daughter's life? If Lily had been there she would have given it up, she knew she would have. It was the next best thing to keep her together, it was an escape from reality even long before she was about to reach motherhood. Lily was gone, falling suit to the same prey that almost killed her mother every few hours. Mal sat up, her body now slumped against Regina, barely able to hold itself up due to the exhaustion the grief had caused.

Regina ran her fingers through her hair and let her cry, doing all of the things she wished someone would have done for her many times in the past. She knew what it was like to have no one and no one should have to go through this alone. "I'm going to go get you some water okay?"

"I don't want anything.", Mal said with irritation. The emotion was building strong on her and she could feel her self-control slipping. It didn't matter what anyone said, she wasn't letting herself live to see another day. Not without her happy ending. Not without Lily.

"You need to stay hydrated, trust me." With that she got up and headed downstairs, leaving Maleficent alone with her thoughts. The moment she was alone her demeanor had changed, rage and mania taking over every thought and movement inside of her. Her moods were constantly snapping between reaching out for a shoulder to cry on and wanting to break away to answer death. If she knew Regina as well as she once had, she knew exactly where to find what she wanted. She wasted no time and jumped off of the bed, finding the red box at the bottom of the closet and immediately smiling to herself. 'I knew the Evil Queen would never change, she doesn't even change her hiding spots.', she thought to herself happily. She felt her hands shake with anticipation as she opened the lock (she wasn't good at hiding the keys either), looking back at all of the shine coming from beneath her. Knives. Two daggers. Potions. It was heaven. Her breathing was hindered once again and no thoughts of the consequences of her actions took root. It didn't matter how other people felt, no one gave a shit anyways. Knowing that she didn't have much time, she picked up one of the daggers and studied it, running her finger over the smooth and sharp edge. A drop of blood fell from her finger and gave her a high that even her drugs couldn't compete with. This would be easy. This would be quick. She didn't know if there was a Heaven or an afterlife out there, but if there was a chance she could be with her Lily again that was all that mattered. How would Regina feel about this, was it important? She had Henry and Emma and those two bastards who ruined her life, she would forget about her in a mere matter of days. She held her breath and held the sharp weapon in front of her, knowing all too well how to use it.

"Here you need to - what the fuck are you doing!" Regina startled her as she dropped the glass from her hand. Great, she waited too long to act and that would most certainly be her downfall. Mal didn't put her hand down from the position it was in, looking at the younger woman as if she were about to kill her too.

"Don't come any closer Regina. I'm done here."

"Please no. You don't need to do this Mal. Please" She tried to keep her voice calm but could feel it breaking apart. She wasn't letting her die. She wasn't letting her go. Mal was frozen with the point of the dagger an inch away from her chest, leaving Regina to wonder if she was having second thoughts. The fact that she never went back after choosing her fate was petrifying her. "Please." She was the one sobbing now, watching helplessly as one of the only people she truly cared for was about to give in to the darkness.

"You can't take this pain away. This is the only thing that will. I'm sorry Regina."

Darkness. There was only darkness. She walked around on a floor which felt like air, staring off into the black distance. She heard nothing. Seen nothing. Where was she? Is this another fucked up dream? Her body felt physically painless but her emotions still wrecked havoc on her nerves. Nothing seemed the same as it had before; her surroundings made no sense at all.

"Mom?" A small voice behind her caused her to jump and she turned around, seeing a woman in front of her. She was the only light in this dark abyss and she was beautiful. Long brown hair, a smile on her face and the complexion of an angel. She couldn't believe it. There was no way this was possible.

"…Lily?", she said with a new hope in her voice. The young woman nodded at her and walked forward, finally joining her in an embrace that should have happened twenty-eight years ago. Maleficent was afraid for a moment that she would squeeze her to death and had to keep a check on her strength. This was it. It didn't matter where she was, this was happiness.

"Mom I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything."

"Honey it's not your fault. It's mine. I did everything wrong and I lost you, but now you're here. None of that matters anymore. We can be together now."

"No. You need to go, but first I had to tell you that I loved you." Mal tilted her head a bit, confused and hurt at her daughter's wishes.

"I need to - why? I just got here. Please don't push me away."

"I know how much you love me. I can see it in your eyes and I had to see you just one time. But it's not time for us to be together yet, I promise that in the future we will be but for now you need to let go. You still have a life to live." Somehow she felt comfort in the sound of her voice. Consolation in the promise that this wouldn't be the last time she would ever see her beautiful daughter. She started feeling a heavy weight lift off of her chest as Lily grasped her hand tightly, running her fingers over the top of her hand. It almost felt like magic was pulsing through her at her touch, it was unlike anything she's ever felt.

"Please Mom, do this for me. Be strong for me, okay?" Mal said nothing but nodded, smiling and feeling complete for the first time in her life. A warmth spread over her body and in seconds she felt herself fall asleep, somehow standing up but not falling. Lily's face faded into the darkness and everything went back to the same shade of black it had been before. Yes, she had found her happiness.

"Mal, Mal please wake up.", Regina pleaded with her. "Please." She breathed for probably the first time in ten minutes as her friend's eyes opened, groggily staring up at her with wide eyes. As she tried to sit up she felt the weight of a brick sitting on her chest, sharp pain and heaviness keeping her lying where she was. "Here, let me help you." She grabbed her hand and slowly helped her up, leaning her against the bed and not letting go for a while. She knelt down besides her, tears still freely flowing down her face as she looked into her eyes.

"Regina..what..", she started to say before cutting herself off. She shouldn't be here, how was she back here? Although she was afraid to look down, she forced herself to do so anyways, shocked at the sight. Her shirt was open but there was no mark on her chest. No trace of blood. Not even a scratch. Had she literally become delirious? "How.."

"Don't. Ever. Do that to me again.", she said through gritted teeth. She sounded angry, fuming almost, but the breaking in her voice gave away the fact that that wasn't all she was feeling. She brought another hand up in front of Mal's chest, pushing a beam of purple light into it.

"Did you..did you heal me? This isn't possible. You can't bring back to dead Regina. No one can. This isn't real."

"You're wrong dear." She moved her face closer, pulling her in for a kiss on the lips. It wasn't heated nor passionate, just tender and sweet. "Did you honestly think I was going to let you go so easily? True love conquers all you know." True love? Had she heard her right? Mal herself had questioned whether or not the younger woman had loved her the same but never had found the courage to ask. She had dismissed the idea years ago, convincing herself that Regina had moved on and she had to do so as well.

"You love me?"

"I do love you. I love you and I can't live without you. So please, if you need to find something to live for, live for me." Maleficent smiled for the first time in a long time, feeling graceful and calm. All she could think about was her smiling daughter, the warmth of her embrace and the light shining in her eyes.

"I met her Regina. I met my Lily." Whether or not the lack of oxygen to her brain caused her to hallucinate or if she had actually had an encounter with her daughter didn't matter to Regina, whatever brought her peace.

"And how was she?" Mal's eyes seemed to glisten as light started shining through the window, the thunderstorm suddenly breaking and all of the clouds disappearing into thin air.

"She was beautiful. I'm living for her, and now I'm living for you too."