It's been three years since that fateful day. Three years since Arata confessed to me. Three years since Taichi stopped being my friend and stopped playing karuta.

Three years, and I haven't answered either of their confessions yet.

It's not that I didn't have a chance. I had a lot of opportunities to decline or accept, but if I learned anything in the past three years, it's that I'm the biggest coward I've ever known.

I didn't want anything to change. And yet, change just seemed to follow me wherever I go.

Taichi never came back to the club. We won consecutive championships without him, all thanks to our kouhais, but it never felt right. It didn't feel as good as the first time. Even with Arata there.

Arata. He had started his own club, too. Made a few more friends for himself. Whenever I looked at him, he seemed happy. So unlike the gloom-filled boy we saw the first time we came to Fukui. His happiness rubbed off of me and I could only feel my heart thumping louder each time he smiled.

He won the individual competition for Class A. I didn't get to fight him. His team reached the finals too, a surprising feat given that most of them were beginners who seemed to me were struggling to catch wind of each word read. Still, they did good. Arata was great.

Our team matched up for the finals. We won against everyone but Arata.

The next year was the same. We improved, they improved but we still lost to Arata. We won the team competition by the number of wins, but we couldn't win against Arata.

I was in awe of him, as I've always been.

True to his word, he came to Tokyo for college. Unfortunately, we didn't go to the same school. I couldn't get in Tokyo University. He and Taichi reunited there, and they seemed to be good friends still.

Taichi ignored me religiously.

I couldn't understand why it didn't hurt as much as Arata leaving all those years ago.

I didn't want to think about it.

I felt bad, but I kept it off my mind.

Arata kept trying for Meijin, and once he actually faced against Suo-san. He lost, and he made sure Suo-san wouldn't retire just yet. Suo-san seemed amused with him, so he kept on waiting for him, year after year.

This time, he won.

I really admired him. And I thought he deserved it for all his hard work. The image of his play did things to my heart I couldn't explain. But looking at him, in all his glory, being hailed as the new Meijin, the youngest yet…

I couldn't understand why I wasn't happy.

And then Taichi talked to me for the first time in years.

And I understood.

For the first time, I had words for the emotions I've been feeling for years.

I could finally say it.

But instead of words, only tears came out from me.

Taichi's eyes told me he understood. He knew, and he accepted it. His hand held mine and squeezed, all the while knowing deep inside I'd be wishing he was someone else.

I wrote a long time ago. Around last year, I think? That was the time I was so into Chihayafuru my feels just couldn't keep up. It had to be written down. It was just the one chapter though, and I never thought to write some more. But when I read the reviews (it shocked me that someone else read, and actually thought to say something about it, but thank you) I started to consider making a few more chapters. I've forgotten about it, really, so I re-read, and I nearly cried because damn, Arata is just… Ok. Anyway, this just came out.

I hope you like it, and please let me know if you do.

Much appreciated, Chirinah.

P.S. Of course Chihayafuru and none of the characters are mine, if they were, Arata and Chihaya would already be married with two kids (twins) and Taichi would be head over heels in love with Hanano. (Okay, was it Hanano? I can't remember most of them anymore XD)