Baby Mine

By Lady DeathAngel

Disclaimer: don't own 'em, don't sue me.

Warnings: Some bad language

A/N: I am sooooooo sorry that the update has taken so long, but as you'll see in the end-note rant, I'm having trouble with this story!!! Writer's block really, really, *really* sucks. Anyway, I hope you like it. As always, read and enjoy!

Hilde grabbed one of the only decent dresses she had and laid it out on her small bed, comparing it to all the other decent dresses she had. In fact, the five dresses laying next to each other were the only dresses she owned. She had a few pairs of dressy pants and nice blouses, but she wasn't at all sure that they would do for the formal days of the peace anniversary.

She sighed and stared at them. There was a short black dress with spaghetti straps and a low-cut back but she didn't like it all that much. Then there was the other black one, strapless and body hugging until mid-calf where it flared out. She liked it, but Duo always teased her when she wore it, calling her the Little Mermaid. She frowned but set it aside as a definite maybe.

She liked two of the remaining three dresses. One of them was sleeveless and red, fitted at the bust and waist but around her hips it was a wide skirt. It was extremely old fashioned, the kind of outfit one would only see in an extremely old movie playing at an extremely old cinema, but she liked the dress a lot. The other was dark blue with no sleeves, a fitted bust and a straight skirt that was also ankle length. The top and the hem were adorned with small diamonds that sparkled even in low light.

It was, by far her favorite dress. The only problem was she liked the other two as well. She sat for a few minutes debating on which two to take and finally deciding on all three. She grabbed her garment back and placed them carefully in it before taking it with her across the hall to Duo's room.

The door was open so she didn't bother knocking, although she almost wish she'd had a warning before stepping inside.

Duo wasn't what Hilde would call the cleanest roommate, but he was never really messy. He just forgot to do things, like take his dishes to the sink, sometimes. But his room . . . she could only stare aghast at what looked like wreckage from a derailed train. Clothes were everywhere, covering every inch of available space in the small room. And still more articles of clothing were flying from the direction of the closet.

"Um . . . Duo?" She said hesitantly from the doorway.

"Hey!" His voice called. "What's up?"

She stepped cautiously into the room.

"Nothing, I just brought my garment bag so that you could put your suits in it. Uh, Duo?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you aware that a tornado passed through here?"

She heard his laugh and finally caught sight of his braid. He was on his hands and knees in a corner of his closet, crawling around and throwing clothes around. He finally turned around and crawled out, a triumphant grin on his face.

"Found it." He declared, tossing something in the direction of a bag.

She followed the flight of the UFO and finally identified it as a red tie. She frowned.

"That's the cause of all this?" She asked, waving her free arm around. "A *tie*?"

He sighed.

"Not just any tie Hilde-babe." He declared. "That's my favorite tie."

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why's that?"

Duo stared at it a moment before shrugging.

"Honestly, I don't know. But I figured I'd bring it. Besides, you're bringing that red dress of yours right?"

She nodded.

"Well, we'll match."

She smiled and shook her head.

"You really are something else Duo." She said before laying the garment bag down on his clothing covered bed. "So, are you all packed yet?"

He looked around the room and smirked.

"Does it look like it to you?" He asked.

She followed his gaze and immediately wished she hadn't asked.

"Point taken." She told him with a sigh before shrugging. "Well, hurry up and get packed."

"Yes Mother." He muttered.

She slapped him lightly on the shoulder.

"Just get all this," she indicated the room. "Into a bag okay? If you aren't ready tomorrow, I'll leave without you."

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"You can't do that. They need me more than you."

"Hey," she said, pretending to be affronted. "I can stop a terrorist."

"Sure you can, Shorty."

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"You are so mean." She announced before grinning at him and walking out of the room.

She grabbed a small bag from her room and then made her way to the bathroom, packing toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, hair brushes, extra hair bands, combs, gel, shampoo and conditioner all the while cursing about the fact that Duo's hair had to be so high maintenance. Then again, it was beautiful so she didn't really mind so much.

She walked the bag to the living room and then turned, wondering if Duo would want to put anything else in it before she set it by the door.

"Hey Duo," she said loudly as she walked down the hallway. "I've got the basics, toothbrushes, paste, deodorant, brushes and stuff. Did you need anything . . . else?" She finished quietly, halting in his doorway.

He was sitting where she'd left him his head in his hands. She set the bag down and walked into his room, placing a hand wearily on the top of his head.

"Duo? What is it?"

He didn't answer so she knelt before him, but his fingers and his bangs both worked to obscure his features.

"Duo?"

"I don't want to do this." He said softly.

"I . . . I know." She said with a sigh.

"I can't handle this."

"Yes you can." She said.

He snorted in disbelief.

"It won't be so bad Duo. I'll be there if . . . if you need me."

"I know."

She brushed his bangs from his forehead the tender motion causing him to look up at her. She framed his face in her hands and stared at him intently.

"Duo, I'll be able to help even more if you tell me why you hate L-2 so much. Just help me understand so I can help you."

He blinked at her and then frowned, standing up abruptly.

"It's none of your business," he said cooly. "I've still gotta pack."

She stood slowly, her eyes on the floor.

"Do you need anything else? From the bathroom I mean?"

"Nah."

"Okay. I'll be putting my bags in the living room then. And I'll order pizza. Um, pizza's fine right?"

"Sure."

She looked up at him for a moment, noting the way he was paying barely any attention to her. She bit her lip and then left, making her way to her room and then closing the door. She sagged against it heavily, all her strength leaving her.

This was why. This was why she didn't want anything to do with him. He would only reject her, just like he had moments before. And she didn't know if her heart could take that again.

~*~

The shuttle ride from Earth to L-2 was a long one for Duo. As he gazed out at the stars he couldn't help but feel bitterness settle like a lead weight in his stomach. He wasn't supposed to be making this trip. That was why he had moved to Earth. So that he'd never have to see the colony again. And yet here he was, hauling his ass back out to his old home.

He sighed and turned his eyes away from the window. He couldn't believe that he was doing this. He didn't even know why he'd agreed to it. Out of pride maybe, or maybe it was just because he couldn't ever keep his mouth shut when it mattered. Either way, he wasn't so sure this was a good idea.

He'd been nauseous for the past three days, sick with the dread of facing L-2, wondering if he was strong enough to handle it. A funny thought coming from the man who'd once been able to call himself Shinigami so arrogantly. And yet, it made sense. Duo hadn't been able to divulge himself of the nightmares or the heavy trappings of fear and anger and confusion he wore beneath his ever-present smiles and corny jokes. That being the case, of course he wasn't strong enough. He couldn't even handle a few bad dreams.

Sometimes he made himself sick he was so pathetic.

"We're almost there." A soft voice said.

He looked down into Hilde's blue eyes and she squeezed his hand.

"It'll be okay." She said encouragingly before looking away.

He smiled weakly, despite himself. He didn't deserve a girl like Hilde. She was too good for the likes of him. Too innocent, too perfect. He'd have thought she'd be unable to stand him after he'd been such a jerk the day before. He hadn't even thought his apology would work. Instead she had said it was all right and now she was sitting next to him on the shuttle, supporting him the same way she had been for the past four years.

Over the intercom the pilot announced that they would be arriving on L-2 in one hour. Duo fought back a groan. Just sixty minutes before he was back. Not just facing his demons but back to walking among them.

Hilde leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder and clasping his hand loosely in hers.

He stared down at her dark hair and then turned his head to stare at the stars once more. He could only hope that she was right. That it really would be okay. But somehow, he wasn't so sure it would. And he was almost positive she felt the same way.

~*~

L-2 glittered. There was no other way to describe it. Duo had to admit he was amazed that it looked so nice. He was so used to the slummy, crowded version of L-2 . . . then again, it figured that the colony had finally been properly funded for the upcoming event. There was no way they'd let a passel of political figureheads with money up the ass set foot on a decrepit colony.

He looked around in awe. Christmases for him had never looked this nice. In fact on L-2 it had been just another day. It was just as dirty as ever with no Christmas lights or evergreen trees. The only signs that the holiday was approaching were the venders who had red and green merchandise hanging from their carts.

But now you could tell it was Christmas on L-2. And it was gorgeous. The buildings were clean and the giant vid-screens on the sides of them flashed cheery messages. The trees were strung up with lights and the streets were free of trash. The temperature was perfect, not too cold but cold enough to warrant a light snow, which the colony's weather center had conjured up. It was amazing how much different it looked from when Duo had been living there, and it almost made being on the colony bearable.

"It looks nice." Hilde said beside him, looking around. "I've never seen it look like this."

Duo grinned.

"It could almost pass for a prestigious colony, no?"

She laughed.

"Yeah well, almost." She told him, pointing at a figure running down the street with a man at its heels.

"Come back here you little thief! Give me back my wallet!" The man was shouting.

The figure just picked up its pace and disappeared down an alley.

"Come on, like that doesn't happen on L-1." Duo said.

She raised an eyebrow at him and he shrugged.

"Okay, so it doesn't happen on L-1."

"Speaking of L-1, there's the hotel that Heero said we're all staying at right?"

Duo followed her gaze and nodded.

"Yeah."

She grabbed his hand and pulled him with her across the street.

"Well, let's go then."

He allowed her to yank him behind her and into the hotel. They stepped inside, the warm air of the heated building hitting their faces. They both winced slightly at the contact and then made their way into the lobby. They were both looking for any sign of the others when there was a happy yell.

"Duo!" A voice cried.

Duo frowned slightly, turning before his face broke into a happy smile.

"Quatre!" He said loudly as the other young man jogged toward them. "Long time no see."

"Too long." Quatre agreed as he reached them.

They embraced each other warmly before Quatre turned to hug Hilde.

"It's good to see you Quatre." She said.

He released her and leaned back, smiling.

"Likewise. It's great to see both of you. Unfortunately I'm going to have to monopolize Duo for a while."

She nodded in understanding.

"No need to explain." She said. "But will we have to time to get rooms . . ."

"It's all taken care of." Quatre interrupted. "This entire building has pretty much been bought out for the next two weeks. Some floors are still open to public, but most of them have been made private. Including the fourteenth floor." He grinned. "That belongs to us protectors of the peace." He took out two slips of paper and handed one to Hilde and one to Duo. "Here are all the remaining rooms and their corresponding codes. If they're listed, they're not occupied. So take your pick of rooms. When you've chosen just call the front desk, give them the room number, and they'll have your bags taken upstairs." He turned to Duo. "You have about fifteen minutes before we're meeting back down here."

"Sounds good." Duo said before turning to Hilde. "Ready?"

She smiled at him.

"Of course."

They walked to the elevator and made their way up to the fourteenth floor. The doors slid open to reveal a long corridor, carpeted in a soft ivory color. Small, old fashioned lamps were mounted on dark blue walls, lending a homey feeling to the area. Duo couldn't suppress a smile as they stepped out of the elevator.

"Not bad." He said looking around. "Not bad at all."

"Stop gawking Duo. You need to find a room and then meet up with the guys."

He grinned.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

He studied the slip of paper, already making his way toward a room that was rather distanced from the ones that were already taken. He stopped in front of room number 516 and punched in the code. The door slid open and he stepped inside.

It was very nice, he decided on a glance. It was roomy, with a large bed across from an oak dresser that was adorned by a long mirror. The carpeting was the same ivory color as the hall, although the walls were a deeper blue in his room than outside. A balcony stood a few feet away from a table and desk. He looked around a bit more, noting the spacious bathroom and small kitchen.

"This is more like an apartment than a hotel room." He mused.

"Yeah well, this is the largest hotel on the colony." Hilde said from just outside his door.

He made a small sound of agreement and then nodded to himself.

"Well, I like it." He said, making his way to the phone to call in the room number.

He glanced up in time to see Hilde waving at him.

"I'm gonna find a room. I'll see you later." She said softly before exiting.

Duo watched her go and wondered if she'd choose the room next to his. A part of him hoped she wouldn't. As premature as the thought was, he didn't plan on spending this mission entirely alone. If he'd been anyone besides the god of death, he probably wouldn't be able to juggle an affair and a job. But he was capable and he hoped that he could at least find someone to fill the spare time with. And he had to admit that he didn't like the idea of Hilde being . . . well . . . *right* there if he had a fling.

Still, she was his best friend. Almost the next best thing to a lover. And he liked knowing she was near in case he wanted to talk or goof off or really piss someone off. Duo grinned. Yeah he liked to tick her off, but she always got over it in the end. She usually found inventive ways to get even too. Something that he anticipated and sometimes even dreaded. The girl could be downright evil, if she wanted to.

There never was a dull moment with her, and he loved her for it. But most importantly he loved the fact that she helped him forget. Maybe she didn't get rid of the nightmares, but he could relax when he was with her. He could laugh and have fun and pretend that anxiety didn't gnaw at him when he went to sleep and that his demons didn't attack him the second his head hit the pillow.

It was for that reason that she held a place in Duo's heart that no nameless, faceless fill-in ever could. She gave him all the freedom he needed with none of the heartache. And that was why he was no good for her. He felt like he was using her, keeping her at his side so that she could support him when his lovers failed to. So that she could bring him back up when he was feeling dangerously low.

He should have let her go years ago. Told her that she needed to find someone better to spend her time with. But he hadn't said anything and neither had she. And he wasn't going to say anything either. Until she said she wanted to leave he wouldn't let her. And even then she'd have to pry his fingers from her with the jaws of life.

Because at this point he just couldn't see a life without Hilde. Other women came and went like the seasons, but Hilde was always there. And the day that she wasn't . . . well Duo hoped he'd never see that day. Because when it did come he just wouldn't know how to go on.

~*~

A/N: OMG, I'm so sorry if it sucked. Oh my gosh I'm having so much trouble with this. I honestly didn't think anyone would read this story when I posted the first chapter, so I planned on half-assing the rest of the story. But now . . . I gotta make some kind of effort, and when I do it still turns out bad. Oh well, hopefully the story will improve with time. Until then, I bid you a fond farewell. Oh, and please R&R, I love the feedback. ^.~