"What did a happy ending even mean in real life, anyway? In stories you simply said, 'They lived happily ever after,' and that was it. But in real life people had to keep on living, day after day, year after year."

Scott Westerfeld

He forgot about all his pains when he was with her. He forgot about his constantly bleeding nose. His clenched chest. His lapse of consciousness.

Just her. She was a burning light he longed to seek in the darkness. He was so damn lucky to have her and she didn't even know it. She was too immersed in keeping him safe and making sure his needs were taken care of. God, his heart formed into knots when he was with her. His breath quickened. His senses were sharper. She made him a better person, no matter how cheesy it sounded.

And then the sudden aches came. It hurt so much he was sure that God hated him. He would cough blood into the toilet, his chest heaving. Clary would be beside him on the bathroom floor, sniffling and crying, but dabbing a napkin on his face. He hated when she saw him like this. Weak and vulnerable. Afraid and beaten up.

She stayed up throughout the night waiting until he fell asleep. She would place his head against her chest and his eyes fluttered shut with the slow beats of her heart. Sometimes he felt her crying when she held him, unaware that he was awake. And that nearly killed him. But he didn't say anything because he didn't know how to comfort her. She missed food for him, instead busy creating meals she thought would ease his headaches. He would lie and tell her that the soups helped but they rarely did. He wanted her to feel good after all the exhaustion she had to go through for him. She deserved that much, at least.

She washed his hair for him. She said she loved running her fingers through his long wet tendrils. And he liked the feeling of her so close to him. He would sit between her spread legs even though he was much larger than she was. Her chest would close onto his back when she leaned in. She braided tiny strands of his hair and laughed uncontrollably when he swatted her hands away. Then after his hair dried, she wrapped her short arms around his waist and placed her head against his back. He loved when she did that. His eyes would hover shut and he wanted to lie there forever. "Jace?" She would ask. And he would hum in reply.

"I'm gonna miss you a whole lot." His orbs widened by a fraction. His heart felt like it had been ripped from his body. Those words meant so much. How could he respond?

"I'm going to miss you too." His voice was raw and his eyes were blinking rapidly. He was glad she was still behind him. And then there was an eerie silence so he turned, placing his hands on her bare knees. She looked up, surprised he had noticed the change in her emotions. Her forest emeralds were red rimmed, her nose a vivid crimson that oddly reminded him of Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. "Hey." He uttered gently, pinching her cheek playfully. "I'm not gonna leave you, ever." It was a promise.

She shook her head repeatedly in slight disbelief. "No. You know you are... Your stupid conditio-" He stopped her with a kiss to the nose.

"And when I'm gone, I'll still be here. You'll know it babe." He grinned, a short braid falling into his eyes. She reached up and placed it away as if she wasn't noticing her own actions.

Her auburn hair was stuck to her forehead. She was wearing one of his hoodies, insisting that a dress would not be comfortable. He didn't care. She always looked beautiful. And then he kissed her, her soft lips mounting on his. It was slow. It wasn't rushed. He took her red waves and wrapped them behind her ear, uncovering her freckled features. Lifting her onto his lap, she touched her forehead with his. Their cheeks were pink, flushed from their love for each other.

At that moment she broke down and he was shocked to even react. She was sobbing. No longer like an adult but like a child. She was trembling against him. The legs wrapped around his waist were shaking. "Clary...Clary...Clary..." He mumbled, rocking her body with his. Tears started to cover the front of his shirt. She pulled away from him, trying to rise to her feet. He stopped her by tugging on her wrist, tawny eyes urgent and desperate.

"Leave me alone." She told him, her gaze on the ground. He struggled onto his knees and tried to get ahold of her hands. She moved away instantly. Releasing a violent breath, he stood inches from her.

"Listen to me, Clar-" He put his arms on her shoulders. She swatted them aside and attempted to go up the stairs. He blocked her path. She was crying silently now, wiping her eyes like a little girl.

"Jace," she croaked. "Please let me go up. I'm tired. I want to go to sleep." His lips parted. He realized his fingers were shaking.

"Then let me sleep with you." He suggested, holding her hand.

"I said to leave me alone!" She screamed, pushing him aside but he was too fast. He held her close to him, both arms secured. She started to punch and smack his back. He winced but continued his grasp on her, waiting for her to stop.

She would stop after exactly twenty minutes. She would sag and fall to her knees, expression too tired. Then she slept against him, eyelids fluttering. "I'm gonna miss you." She mumbled as he carried her up to their bedroom. He gently lied her on the mattress, the blanket placed beneath her chin. He stopped to stare at her. He sat on her side and moved his face so that it touched the crook of her neck. He could smell her familiar scent of strawberry and mint. He could never get too close to her. Sometimes he would just imagine holding her. Forever and ever.

He made a decision that night. He wouldn't want her to suffer anymore. He didn't want her to feel lost without him in the future. The weeks that came were tough. The pains were getting harder to contain. While she was laughing with him, he would collapse onto the ground, clutching his head. He would awake hours later, Clary hovering over him, her face tearstained and bleary, telling him that she thought he was gone and he would reassure her that he was fine and under no circumstances would he be taken to the hospital. She listened though he heard the protest forming in her voice.

His moods began to change. Sometimes grumpy. Sometimes tired. Sometimes so defeated Clary seemed afraid to speak to him. Everything hurt and he knew his time was nearing an end. He could hardly control his body movements. So he stayed in bed most of the time, Clary being his only pasttime. She told him stories. She told him jokes and experiences she had when she was a child. He laughed when he could. His breathing became ragged. His vision was blotched, covered with black dots. He could barely see her. She appeared so far away.

So many writers had said that a man who lived fully would be able to die any moment without fear. He didn't quite believe it. He was terrified to leave the world. He was terrified to leave Clary alone and defenseless. He hadn't lived fully because he did not have time. Time to spend with her. Time to waste with her. Time to grow older with her. Just time. It was the only thing he could never get. The only thing.

Jocelyn found them with the help of rat boy but he didn't care. Today was the day. He watched Clary as she tried to barricade the door, a certain tint of sadness in his blazing orbs. When she looked as if she was too exhausted to do anything more, he called her to him surprised at the weakness in his voice. She lied down with him and when her mother threatened to break down the door, she scrambled to the cabinet to give him his meds. When he opened the cap, he stared at her.

He stared at the long lashes that shrouded her eyes. He stared at her red nose. He stared at the orange constellations on her pale skin. He stared at her crimson lips. They were parted open. She had realized the situation, he noticed. Without a pause for thought, she nodded. There wasn't much time. He grabbed the pills and shoved them into his throat, swallowing quickly. And when he was satisfied, he grasped her body close to him. His body was buzzing. Was that supposed to happen?

He kissed her. Again and again telling her not to forget him. She wouldn't. The door slammed open with a deafening screech and paramedics arrived. He saw Clary struggling to get to him. He smiled to himself as he drifted off with the thought that she would always be stubborn. She would always be his.

.

.

.

.

They took her to a mental ward. He watched her as she mumbled his name. He called out to her but she couldn't hear him. He screamed and screamed until his throat felt like it was bleeding but she was too far in her head to notice. She was gone. Everyday he watched her. He made her like this. He turned her into this. It was all his fault. Of all the things he had experienced in his life, he could not help but feel that nothing mattered anymore. He was gone and so was she.

Fin.

Last Author's Note: So guys... The emotional rollercoaster is over. I want to thank all readers for reviewing, following, and favoriting this story. It really means a lot. I've learned so much from writing this story and hearing your opinions. I hate endings. I hate them so much. I hate how you have to find a way to move on and find a new beginning. It's sort of frustrating. So don't think you're alone when you're sad that this fanfic has ended. It's been a long journey, one I wouldn't ever regret. So thank you. Thank you so much. You guys really made it happen. My writing skills have greatly improved because of you.

I will be continuing to write on fanfiction. I have more than 5 Clace stories, if you would like to check them out. I'll be updating sooner now. Each story will be continued. Check them out and review. Thanks so much. Have a great day and I hope you loved the story like I did.

The world needs happiness-

ThatOneGoodWriter