Here we are, at the very last chapter. This has been quite a ride, and I have enjoyed reading all your fantastic reviews more than you know. Love to every one of you. Actually, I would love it if those of you who have been reviewing as guests would sign in or create an account so I can send thank you PMs to everyone. (I'm especially looking at you, reviewer who always called themself simply "Guest" and left the longest, most amazing reviews ever in the history of fanfic!) I have appreciated every last review left on this story, signed or anonymous, but I would love to say thank you to those of you who would care to sign in. For those of you who don't, please accept my gratitude and love from afar.

Check out the author's note at the end for my usual sort of notes, but also for some info on some other Brutasha fics I have in the works!

Here we go... Warning for canon in this chapter. We're in Age of Ultron territory, so you know what's coming. *runs away crying*

Within twenty-four hours, Nick Fury had materialized (Natasha really wasn't surprised), Bruce had realized that Ultron was likely targeting Dr. Cho, and the Avengers were ready to mobilize again. Clint and Steve were leaving to take Dr. Cho into protective custody - or to fight Ultron if he had already gotten to her, which she suspected was the more likely option - and she was joining their strike team. Tony was heading off to follow a lead into the mystery of who was changing nuclear codes to keep Ultron's robotic hands off of them. Bruce was still not eager to be around civilians after what had happened in Wakanda, so he opted to go with Tony.

She pulled him aside as everyone gathered to leave. "I'll see you back at the Tower after this is over," she said quietly. "And then we can," she lowered her voice, hyper aware of how many spies were in the room, "go."

Bruce looked at her in astonishment, like he had since the first time she suggested that she could leave with him. He still didn't believe it and she wasn't sure whether to feel flattered or sad about the fact. She avoided the question entirely and passed him his iPod instead. "I got you some new music," she explained when he looked at her questioningly. He smiled minutely and scrolled through the new playlist she had worked on while he was asleep.

"Casablanca," he said with a note of surprise and approval. "The Wizard of Oz," he smiled a little. "Chaplin soundtracks… and lots of Judy Garland…" He scrolled with a look of intense concentration and she felt the now-familiar rush of affection for him. This time, she didn't pull away from it. 'The Man That Got Away,'" he murmured and finally looked at her. "This is great… How did you know I liked these movies?"

"I just asked myself 'What's old and sappy?' and I was able to find a whole playlist just for you," she said flatly. He gave a self-deprecating smile and nodded.

"I guess you've got me pegged," he said quietly, staring at the cover art for A Star is Born.

She glanced at the distracted Avengers milling around the front door, and slid her hand into Bruce's discreetly. He went still. "It's going to be okay," she whispered. "Enjoy your music and I'll see you in a few hours."

"More like a day or so," he corrected quietly, and she saw the tension creeping back into his face.

"Hey," she interrupted, weaving her fingers through his. "A day is a few hours. And then we can run as far and as fast as you like." Here they were, calmly discussing running away together, and they had never even kissed. That needed to be rectified, she thought distantly. She was tempted to pull him into a kiss then and there, but being within range of Tony's snark was not a particularly appealing prospect - and neither was being trapped in the quinjet for hours on end with a smug Clint. She settled for giving his hand one final reassuring squeeze.

"See you soon," she whispered. They went their separate ways.

The mission went about as well as she expected these days, between Ultron killing Dr. Cho and then making off with his new organic vibranium body (or whatever the hell that thing in the Cradle was). Steve took on Ultron and she worked on securing the Cradle; Clint stayed in the air. It was a long and frustrating ordeal, especially when she fought her way into the truck transporting the Cradle only to discover that the truck was capable of flight as it lifted off from the ground. Well that was just great. She decided to call Clint and try for a midair pickup instead of dying at the hands of gravity.

Clint was as unruffled as ever when he saw the flying truck and heard her plan; he moved into position beside and below the Cradle's transport and held steady as she finally cut the Cradle loose. The freefall was nauseating but effective, and they slid into the quinjet without damage. The wind whipped at her hair as she stood near the open hatch, but she was okay and the Cradle was secure. Maybe their losing streak was finally over-

A metallic arm clamped around her shoulders and pulled and she was flying through the air again. Wind roared in her ears and nearly drowned out the sound of Clint calling for her over the comms.

"Black Widow." Ultron's unnervingly human voice rang metallically in her ears and her heart froze. The feeling of freefall changed into the feeling of being propelled much too quickly through the air. The wind made it impossible to see, but she could feel the inexorable vise grip around her shoulders and midsection. "So glad we get to chat," he continued in his gravelly electronic rasp. She ignored him and tried to hear the chatter on the comms.

Steve was saying something about getting out of there with or without her and she knew he was right. Her heart still sank.

"Do you have eyes on Nat?" Clint's voice insisted through her earpiece. She couldn't see anything or hear the quinjet; the wind was too strong.

And Ultron was laughing. He plucked out her earpiece and she was left blind and deaf except for the rushing in her ears. The thinning air began to take a toll and she felt unconsciousness closing in on her. "Oops," Ultron said as she succumbed to the darkness.

Alone and freezing in her cluttered makeshift cell in Sokovia, Natasha decided that if she survived this, she was going to have words with Tony Stark about his little projects. She hated Ultron fiercely after his ridiculous scare tactics and his flare for dramatic exposition. The apple really didn't fall far from the tree, she thought angrily as she tried again to make the telegraph she had cobbled together from broken odds and ends work long enough to get a message to Clint.

It finally worked and she breathed a sigh of relief. Clint would show up quickly, that much she knew. And then they could kick Ultron's robotic ass straight into the sun, have a schwarma party, and forget this mess had ever happened. She settled in for a wait, listening for any useful information, but it was a fruitless effort. Ultron had cleared out hours ago, taking his newly minted minions with him, and the factory space where she was being held had fallen deathly silent in his absence.

She hummed some of Bruce's sappy songs in the silence, but the thick walls and yawning pit just beyond her cell didn't lend themselves to favorable acoustics and her tunes were swallowed up.

Hours passed in silence.

She heard footsteps at last and pushed herself to her feet. "Clint?" she called, straining to see through the dim light. Bruce emerged from the shadows.

"Bruce!" she blurted in surprise. He was wearing a determined look and carrying a massive gun. She blinked. It was kind of… hot. He pressed close to the bars and his hand drifted over hers. She was so glad to see him.

"I don't suppose you found a key lying around?" she asked dryly.

"Actually, I did." He backed away and lifted the gun. Natasha took cover and he blasted the door. Stepping though the stupid bars of Ultron's stupid prison was such a relief that she almost hugged him, but Bruce looked tense and she held back. "What's the plan?" she asked instead. Bruce explained that he still wasn't feeling safe around civilians and he had only come to rescue her. Her heart grew warm even as she mentally argued with his ridiculous self-doubt. The Big Guy would be fine as long as no Enhanced witches with grudges showed up to play with his brain.

"The job's not done," she objected when he finished. First, save the world. Second, run away and try for some kind of happily ever after. It was as clear as day. But he was firm that he wasn't going green, and Natasha realized several things at once: He didn't believe that he could be trusted around civilians (that simply wasn't true, and she needed to show him that), he wanted her to come away with him now before the mission was complete (and she just couldn't, the world needed saving before they could find a place to hide in it) and finally, she wanted to kiss him very badly. He looked at her with something like commitment, and she decided to solve all the outstanding issues at once.

"I adore you," she said, and meant it. Somehow, this admission didn't sting at all and she wondered if she had reached a place where it no longer hurt to tell Bruce the truth. She finally pressed her lips to his and for once he didn't pull away from her; he yearned towards her touch. How long until you trust me? The question surfaced unexpectedly in her mind and suddenly she realized that she could feel his trust in the way he touched her. The kiss was hurried and even a little desperate, but she still thought that it was very nice to kiss Bruce Banner.

Even with her eyes shut, she knew where the pit's edge was; she turned them toward it and the slid her hands to his chest. Reluctance coiled in her gut, but she summoned the strength she needed (it took much more mental strength than physical in the end) and pushed.

He hung weightless over the pit's edge for a moment, just long enough for her to see his look of contentment morph into disbelief, fear, and finally something far worse than either. He disappeared over the edge. "I need the Other Guy," she whispered apologetically, and vowed to make this up to him many times over after they saved the world. She barely had time to blink before the Big Guy leapt up in Bruce's place.

She noticed that he and Bruce were more in tune than ever; he was carrying the same look in his eyes that Bruce had as he fell.

Betrayal.

Her heart sank, and she repeated her mental promises to make this right. He needed to know that he wouldn't hurt anyone. He needed to know that he was safe. And she would gladly sacrifice his trust in her if it meant that he would only trust himself. Besides, she thought, she would work hard to earn his trust back.

They hurried outside and Natasha pulled in a sharp breath when she realized that the city in the distance was flying. It was an enormous chunk of dirt and rock with buildings piled on top, rising slowly higher and higher.

"Well," she muttered. "That's not good."

The Big Guy grunted beside her. "Let's go, Big Guy."

He looked at her with pain in his eyes, but made no protest when she clambered onto his back. They leapt up into the air to chase the flying city.

The battle was a long and horrible one. Smashing hoards of robots turned out to be a lot less fun than video games had led her to believe and when she found Clint she told him in no uncertain terms that she would not be having Terminator marathons with him ever again. They worked hard to evacuate the civilians and keep them out of the line of fire, but there was only so much they could do when the earth was miles below them. Not good, she thought distractedly as she destroyed robot after robot.

The whole team came together, plus a couple of spares (When did the Enhanced kids join their team? And who was the purple guy?), and Natasha thought that the Avengers might be a functioning unit again. She smiled at the Big Guy when he looked her way; he wouldn't hold her gaze and her smile slipped a little. She would have some work to do later.

Things got a little hopeless until Nick Fury showed up with an old helicarrier and evacuation shuttles and she finally forgave him for faking his death during the Hydra fiasco. With the civilian evacuation properly underway, she hurried off to find the Big Guy with the lullaby and hopefully get the hell off this rock once and for all. She tried not to imagine how nice it would be to run off with only Bruce for company after this mess. She smiled a little when she imagined Tony's offended face when he realized they had disappeared.

The Big Guy was stomping through a ruined playground when she found him, ripping apart pieces of debris. He paused when he saw her. "Hey, Big Guy," she began, pulling off her glove. "The sun's getting real low." He hesitated a little longer than he usually did - and her heart broke a little - but he finally stepped in her direction and lifted his hand.

She heard the whoosh of the quinjet too late, and bullets rained down on them like fire from above. She heard them slap into the Big Guy's skin and he roared with rage. Fear sliced through her like an icy blade. No, this isn't how it ends! she thought with a rage all her own. Something hit her hard and everything went dark.

Air rushed over her face and she opened her eyes. She was looking up at the Big Guy's face, tense with concentration above her. His arms were curled underneath her, holding her gently against his massive chest. Maybe his trust wasn't such a lost cause, she thought in relief. It took her a moment to wonder why they were flying through the air, but she wasn't afraid. Not when he had her.

She didn't see the deck of the helicarrier looming up beneath them in time to brace for impact, but he absorbed the force of the landing and laid her gently on the tarmac. He had saved her. She reached for him to start the lullaby and bring him back down to kissable dimensions, but he had already turned and leapt back towards the island in the air. Her hand fell back to her side.

She hurried to the control center and heard the chatter between Tony and Thor about blowing the chunk of rock apart before it could plummet to earth and cause worldwide extinction. Relieved that they had found a way to defuse the problem, she scanned for any sign of the Big Guy on the ground. She had to be sure that he was safely away before they blew it up…

"He's on the jet, Romanoff," Tony's voice crackled over the comms. "We saw him kick Ultron to the curb."

"Copy that." She sighed in relief and called the jet. The video call connected almost instantly and she saw him standing at the back of jet. She had never seen him so still - it was a little unnerving.

"Hey, Big Guy," she started, and he drifted towards the console and the camera it held. She spoke calmly and filled her voice with all the positive energy she could muster as she explained that they couldn't track him when the jet was in stealth mode. He raised his hand toward the screen and she smiled as he reached for her. She was just wondering whether or not to attempt a lullaby via video call when his hand abruptly fell. The picture cut out and the call faded into static. Her smile slipped.

Oh.

So he didn't forgive her after all.

How long until you trust me? The question echoed in her mind like a distant scream.

She had her answer.

She forced her face to relax into blankness as she absorbed it. Maybe the Big Guy was just feeling hurt… and it would be fine. Even if the jet crashed or ran out of fuel, Bruce would be able to walk away from that. And he would call and they would pick him up and everything would be fine. She would apologize and he would forgive her.

Everything would be fine.

She tried to remember that as she watched the island in the air fall to earth in blasted chunks. One thought forced itself past her distraction.

Castles in the sky.

Days passed. Weeks.

And Natasha realized that Bruce wasn't coming back.

She ignored the sensation of something ripping in her chest that had begun when the call turned to static the only way she knew how; she found a mission and disappeared into it. She focused on helping Nick, Tony, and Steve set up a new base of operations for the Avengers. The latest roster of Avengers, anyway. There was Wanda Maximoff, the Enhanced girl that had done so much damage to Bruce but had decided to join up in the end, Steve's friend Sam "Falcon" Wilson, and Colonel Rhodes AKA War Machine. Oh, and the weird purple guy that sounded like Jarvis and gave her the creeps. She still wasn't quite sure if he was robotic or not. Tony tried to explain it, but she didn't care enough to listen. "Ugh, Bruce could explain it better," he complained as he turned away. He didn't notice how she stiffened.

When the new base was set up and filled with the new recruits, Thor returned to Asgard for who knew how long and Tony climbed into one of his exotic cars and left too. She knew Steve would be along shortly to have a meeting about training the new roster, but she had no heart for it. She stood in the wide open space of one of the training rooms and stared at the blank, newly painted wall.

And she finally stopped running and felt it.

Bruce was gone, and so was the future they had just started to build, ripped from her hands like mist that had just started to turn solid. She had thought running away together would be fun, would be an adventure, would mean true freedom for both of them. And they would have been together.

She thought back to the man hiding in India and secretly acting as a doctor, the man who had calmly told her that she shouldn't try and kill him because she was the one who would end up hurt. She remembered his suspicious questions and his distantly sad eyes as he had stood beside an empty cradle. I don't every time get what I want.

Neither did she. Maybe neither one of them was meant to.

She had fought so hard not to be afraid of him in the early days, trying to beat her nightmares at first and trying to help him trust himself later. She had fought not to be afraid of him and it had worked. And in the end, they had saved the world.

So long ago in New York, the first time they had been heroes together, victory had tasted like schwarma and unexpected apologies. But this time... this time she thought that victory carried a strangely bitter flavor.

She stood in the slanting light of the training room and felt keenly the immensity of the open space around her. But it was devoid of possibilities - a cold, crushing vacuum. Bruce's absence was a wound in this place. (Or maybe just in her heart; she couldn't tell, really.)

And in the silent vacuum, she realized abruptly that she had been right to be afraid in the beginning, only she had feared the wrong side of the coin. It may have been the Hulk that had haunted her nightmares… but it was Bruce's silence that ultimately hurt her. Heads I win, tails you lose, Bruce's voice echoed in her head, the remnants of that most terrifying dream. She winced a little at the pain that blossomed in her chest.

She had always known in the reasonable part of her mind that her disturbing dream with Bruce and the house and the children was impossible. More than impossible - it was ridiculous. She knew that now, and she had known it then. But maybe… maybe the dream wasn't the only thing that had been impossible all along. Maybe the the entire thing was impossible. A couple of monsters trying to find happiness with each other and expecting that no one would get hurt. Maybe it was doomed to be impossible…

Of course, she would never really know.

She shut her eyes and allowed herself to look at the images of that alarming dream one last time - one last glance at the snapshots before burning them. Bruce smiling at her and unafraid, laughing children with red and brown hair, a home far away from fights and threats and pain, the empty ache in her chest finally filled with something warm and real… For one long moment, she felt the comforting wholeness of the dream settle around her like a warm blanket masking coils of barbed wire.

She opened her eyes and ripped herself free. The flickering images of the dream vanished like a desert mirage and the blank, barren wall swam back into view. It was as real and as solid as ever.

But it was still blank.

Notes: *incoherent sobbing*

Actual Notes: I knew early on that I would have to end things here. I hate it, but there was a horrible symmetry to the idea of picking up the story from the first time when Bruce and Natasha connected after the first movie and ending with the fallout of that connection. I also wanted to stick to canon for now, as painful as that may be. Try not to hate me, guys.

Actually, and partially as an apology for the painful canonicity of this fic, I will be posting one fluffy and ridiculous oneshot set during the stay at Clint's farm. It's called "The Grapevine" so check that out (and hopefully hate me less). I'm also currently working on a post-AoU AU with Bruce and Natasha that involves them actually going through with their running away together plan, so keep an eye out for that, too! The working title of that piece is "A Place on Earth." In addition to that, I'm also formulating a Brutasha-on-a-mission fic… apparently I am all aboard the Brutasha train now and forever. This pairing and this fic… I like it. *smashes mug* ANOTHER!

Quick shoutout to blueincandescence, the inestimable Tumblr blogger whose Brutasha metas have been giving me life recently. It was one of blueincandescence's metas on Bruce and Natasha's favorite movies that inspired me to throw in Casablanca as a soundtrack that Bruce might like. That's such a perfect movie for him to love. And since Casablanca is all about impossible love, it fits this ending perfectly...

The other soundtracks I picked for Bruce to like were The Wizard of Oz (in which Dorothy awakens from a dream world), Chaplin soundtracks (Charlie Chaplin often composed the music for his films, including the gorgeous tune that would eventually become the heartbreaking song "Smile." Listen to his melodies... and feel your heart break. Ugh, Bruce would have loved the sweet melancholy of his music.), and A Star is Born (in which a beautiful love story smashes into reality and doesn't survive the encounter. Also, Judy Garland sings the classic song "The Man that Got Away" in that movie...). I was being a little on the nose with the references lol.

I want to take a moment to address a couple of things that Natasha thought in this chapter, namely her thoughts that Bruce didn't forgive her and that she finally had an answer to the question of whether she would receive his trust. I think she was ultimately wrong in her conclusions, but I believe that she would have thought something along these lines. After the movie I kept asking myself (and anyone unfortunate enough to be within range) "Why didn't Bruce come back? WHY?!" He came to Sokovia for the sole purpose of leaving with Natasha (as he tells her, he felt too dangerous to be around civilians and so he had no intention of joining the fight) and he expresses his desire to run off with her. They were all set to disappear together, declarations were made ("I have a compelling reason not to lose my cool" and "I adore you"), but then… he changes his mind. WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD, BRUCE BANNER?! Needless to say, I thought long and hard about what exactly caused his change of heart and what I concluded in the end is that Bruce and Natasha constructed a magical fantasy future for themselves and even Bruce, given to hopelessness as he is, eventually gave in to their intoxicating dream. I think when she chose the mission over leaving immediately with him that the dream shattered for him and he thought "What am I doing? This won't work. Natasha wants to be an Avenger and I can't take her away from that… She's not committed to a life of running and hiding forever which is all I can offer her. She's an Avenger first and that's the way it should be." Bruce drowned in an ocean of doubt and self-pity and he fell back on his tried and true default: running away. I want to slap him… but I can understand it. He pulls hope up by the roots every time it grows in his heart because in his experience it always withers in the end anyway. As Natasha thought earlier in the story, Bruce has a very low threshold for hope.

There was a kernel of truth in Natasha's thoughts on the subject of Bruce's trust, although it's much more complicated than that. I think that Bruce just has a difficult time believing that anything good can ultimately happen to him. Bruce had a choice when he was on that jet at the end. He had the option of choosing to believe that something good would come of his relationship with Natasha and trusting that they could make things work, or of choosing to believe that it wasn't going to work and that whatever love they had for each other wasn't going to be enough. He took a step toward the first option when he asked Natasha to leave with him, and then he doubted and made the tragic choice. In the end he couldn't quite believe in their love, to break it down to the most basic (and sappy) of levels. Bruce... why. Why couldn't you just believe? If there is one person on this earth who could handle you IT'S BLACK WIDOW. *cries forever*

Anyway.

I also feel compelled to defend Natasha's grief at Bruce's departure both in the movie and in my version of events. I've seen people complain that she shouldn't be pouting because her love interest left, and my response is very simple. In what universe does someone fall in love and then respond to having their heart broken by feeling nothing? That's not strength - that's a symptom of a mental disorder. True strength isn't lack of emotion, it's perseverance and control in spite of emotion. Like I noted in the last chapter, Natasha feels things deeply. But it's not like she was a basket case, crying and giving up on life. All we see is her standing alone, staring at a wall. And she's entitled to feeling sad. But even heartbreak doesn't stop her from teaming up with Steve to train the new Avengers. The woman is unstoppable. But I think that she, like every other emotionally functional human being, is entitled to have feelings about failed dreams. After all, how would you feel if, for the first time in your life, you decided to pursue a healthy romantic relationship and you built up an ideal in your mind of the future you could have together… and then it crashed and burned? I thought about that from her perspective, and this last chapter is what I came up with.

Anyway, if this made you sad, just know that the ending made me cry repeatedly. When I was conceptualizing it... when I was writing it... when I was editing it…

So much crying.

I hope, hope, hope that the Infinity War movies will address the hanging story thread of the Brutasha relationship properly. Let's hope together, guys. (And drown our collective sorrows in more fanfic in the meantime.)

So… dare I ask… what did you think?

Me: Hey, guys, I can't track how much you like the story when you're in stealth mode and don't review…

You: *cuts the call and flies away*

Me: *angsts forever*

Don't make me the Natasha to your Bruce, guys.

Please review!