Summary:

Pepper and Tony had had another outrageous fight, leaving Tony very unsure of where they stood in the relationship. Pepper was confident. Things weren't working out anymore. It wasn't happy… they weren't happy. Not together. The further apart they were, the better things were at times. But it was tearing Tony apart inside. Another failed relationship… and not just a romantic one. Most relationships that involved him ended in a similar fashion. Was it him? Did he need to try harder? Everyone has their demons. Some are just harder to fight than others. Maybe this was his turn to fight... Fight for love. Maybe Pepper wasn't meant to be his soulmate after all? When a mysterious woman enters his dreams, he has to figure out who she is and why she picked him.

**Post Iron Man 3, pre-Avengers: AoU**

A/N: First of all, I do not own Tony Stark, Iron Man, or any of the characters likenesses that I am using. They belong to Marvel, Disney, Stan Lee, and Joss Wheddon for any and all movie adaptation ideas that I have gleaned information from. P.S. It may contain tiny hints of spoilers for those who have not seen all the Marvel movies... and potentially the show Agents of SHIELD. I wouldn't find them spoilers, but just a tiny warning.

Here goes my first attempt at a fanfic for Avengers/Marvel Universe. It is going to be mainly focused on the movies than the comics, so please if you are a die-hard fan of the comics-while I greatly respect that, you may or may not like the plot of my story. But it is also going to be slightly AU because eventually I am bringing in an OC. It is a PepperXTony in the beginning, but will change to TonyXOC later one. So canon and not canon couplings will be utilized. Don't worry I won't dive into that right away. Please read, review and let me know your thoughts. I appreciate the feedback.

This is the first chapter, the prologue.

~Tony's POV~

Phantasmagoria, more commonly known as nightmares. The terrifying dreams in which the dreamer experiences feelings of helplessness, extreme anxiety, sorrow…

"You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you…"

"I think I would just cut the wire…"

"Always an out."

/All my life they let me know,

How far I would not go.

But inside the beast still grows, waiting,

Chewing through the ropes/

"How do we do this?"

"As a team. Stark… we've got Banner, just like you said."

"Tell him to suit up, I'm bringing the party to you…"

I remember the fight. I remember being there. I saved you, Rogers. I helped save Manhattan, and Earth…

/Who are you to change this world?

Silly boy!

No one needs to hear your words,

Let it go/

"I've got a nuke coming in…"

"Stark, you know that's a one way trip?"

"Sir, shall I try Ms. Potts?"

"Might as well…"

"Stark!"

Silence…

/Carnivore! Carnivore!

Won't you come digest me?

Take away everything I am,

Bring it to an end/

The last thing I remember was someone… a woman, screaming my name, my full name. I don't recognize her voice, but it wasn't Pepper. Jarvis had lost connection just as I passed out. I shut down, Arc Reactor and all. Which means she had to have been there in Manhattan… who is this woman? Or was… who was she?

"Anthony!"

It's almost a shriek, like she was in pain. The same pain I was feeling. I still feel that pain.

And it echoes… on and on throughout the dream, her scream. But the dream ends as abruptly as it begins. Terror. All terror.

/Carnivore! Carnivore!

Could you come and change me?

Take away everything I am,

Everything I am/

Then there was blackness… a void. Nothing. It was cold… I can always remember the shit that was said to me before, and the shit that was said to me after, but in between… it's blank.

Darkness, barren… the wormhole disappeared once my eyes closed. That's when the nightmares began.

Is there no heaven or hell? Or did I not actually die? I don't know anymore. It could all be an illusion, like the shit S.H.I.E.L.D. pulls by Fury's orders. Or the World Council's orders, filtered by Fury. He is the ultimate puppet-master. I have tried to stop thinking about that though, since I am alive still to this day. I don't know how long I was in the dark, before I was startled back to life by Banner… the Hulk, rather. I guess it doesn't matter either way. Here I am.

/I will hide myself below

I'll be what you wanted

Kept inside I won't let go

'Till I burn beyond control/

That's essentially the reoccurring dream I have. The Battle of Manhattan… Though, there's another that has been haunting me lately. The other is more gruesome. Earth is desolate, burning, and where are we—the Avengers? Dead. "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" don't make it through this nightmare. It's too dark, too fuzzy, to recognize anything. There also isn't any sound in this awful dream. No screams, no gunfire, nothing…

I have woken up screaming from these, apparently, shaking with a cold sweat, hyperventilating… I always scare the hell out of Pepper. Needless to say, these days she and I don't share a bedroom. She can't take my incessant nightmares nor my refusal to sleep in order to try and keep the nightmares at bay. A completely lose-lose situation for us both.

She doesn't understand. She doesn't care. Maybe it is fear, anger, or resentment… I don't know, it's terrifying, but to Pepper Potts I am being overly dramatic. I haven't bothered trying to convince her that I am alright. I took her advice, maybe too willingly at the time, and did the surgery after the hell that went down with the Mandarin. So no more shrapnel trying to get into my heart. I am not surviving on the Arc Reactor any longer, either.

I haven't felt like myself. Once I woke up. Sure I finally got to sleep, peacefully, while I was under anesthesia, after not sleeping for a good four to five days straight. That hardly seemed worth it at the time. I am still Tony Stark; I am still Iron Man… But something is very different about me and I can't put my finger on what that is yet.

/Who are you to change this world?

Silly boy!

No one needs to hear your words,

Let it go/

But I thought, well maybe this will help patch things up with Pep. She and I could take a little time to reconnect. The last attempt on our lives really took a toll on her. With Killian, who took her because of a creepy crush, and insane idea for experimentation to make her perfect, she wasn't even the same person coming back.

I had promised her that I could fix the Extremis program that they had experimented on her with, to ensure that like the others she did not blow up. I had fulfilled that promise, before I had gone in for surgery. Pepper was fine. Physically and mentally speaking, emotionally shaken, like myself, but other than that she is in better condition than I am.

I have noticed that we have been spending less and less time together. She is always at work. Ever since I signed over the company and made her the C.E.O., Pepper really stepped into the shoes. Before she had been doing some of that work behind the scenes through me, but now she was front and center. She had the power and she was utilizing it.

Not that this is a bad thing, but it is weird having her be a "workaholic", so to speak.

Happy Hogan was almost fully healed from the hit he took, almost losing his life chasing after one of Killian's goons. He was living in his apartment, waiting anxiously to get back to being her Head of Security back at Stark Industries.

/Carnivore! Carnivore!

Won't you come digest me?

Take away everything I am,

Bring it to an end/

And me? Well, I had recently remodeled the original Stark Tower and created a place for the Avengers to be together when we were needed. The Avengers Tower… Yup, we all practically lived here. Each had a section devoted to our specific needs and likes. Research and development along with several calming strategies for Bruce, a gym and track for Captain to work out, a shooting range for both Natasha and Clint, as well as a space for Thor. He had tried his hand in the details of his wing and I never really went there, but I know there's a lot of gold on that side.

A lot had happened since the Battle in Manhattan, and the Avengers have been called upon here and there to do Fury's bidding.

On that note, Fury… well, I don't know anything for sure, but I believe he was pronounced dead. For sure, we know he is "gone". My thoughts are that he made them think he was dead and is just lying low, pretending not to be the Director anymore.

S.H.I.E.L.D. was compromised, reason behind why Fury is "dead". Apparently, HYDRA didn't end with the fall of the Red Skull back in Cap's day. Unfortunately their organization came alongside S.H.I.E.L.D. and infiltrated it from within. Captain America was coined a threat to national security and they tried to destroy a shit ton of people in the world that were considered a threat to HYDRA's mission. Which, as the bad guys always imply, is world peace. Or domination. Same difference, really.

/Make me fall. Make me bleed

Go ahead and change me?

Take away everything I am,

Everything I am/

Now, at any point, "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" can be called upon in action to try and take down the last of HYDRA. That was basically our job right now. Maria Hill was working for me, and we had agreed to make Steve Rogers the… boss, when it came to mission work. He was the Captain, after all.

So, here I am… my house is still smashed to smithereens, thanks to Killian and his ridiculous henchmen blowing it with missiles. The Avengers Tower is my new home. I created it to be a safe haven. Sure is it in the same spot, essentially, but the threats we face today are less imminent than say the Chitauri invading the Earth. Hopefully it stays that way.

The light in my workroom flickered by my desk. I had stayed in here overnight since I didn't want to bother Pepper. I wasn't even sure if she was home yet or not. Her room was close to my own, but we had agreed that separate wings would give us a better understanding of one another's needs. Give us some space, all that jazz.

In lieu of being able to see her recently, I just came up here to tinker. I was working on things, nothing too important. Perfecting my suits, conducting some research along with Bruce Banner, in my free time. Other than that, I just… bullshitted my way through life.

I could do that, easily. I had done it before I had even become Iron Man. But everything just felt so different now. Things felt out of sync. Maybe it's just my brain fucking with me again.

/Never enough

(Who I am is not good enough)

Never enough

(Who I am)/

There was a creak behind me; from where I was sitting at my desk I wasn't facing the door, and I didn't really feel like turning around to find out who it was. Too lost in my thoughts. But my senses were alert. Must be the Avenger in me…

Jarvis always had my back. He had eyes on the building at all times.

I heard the clicking of heels getting closer. It was possibly Maria or Natasha. They sometimes came around to inform me of this or that, information they found out about S.H.I.E.L.D or coming to show me plans for a new mission.

Either way, if it was them, I really didn't care. Drop it off and let me be, please. And I would be utterly surprised if it was who I was hoping for… At this point it just seemed like wishful thinking.

The clicking didn't stop until the person was right behind me, looking over my shoulder. I could suddenly smell their perfume, wafting around me, and the shadow looming over my form was instantly recognizable.

The woman clapped her hands to turn on my lights. Which, killer when you have been sitting in the dark for hours. Hurts like a bitch. Instant headache from exposure.

I turned around in my chair to stare her in the eye. She didn't exactly seem happy that I was in my workshop at such a late hour, but she also didn't really look surprised.

/Carnivore! Carnivore!

Won't you come digest me?

Take away everything I am

Bring it to an end/

I heard her sigh heavily. Always a sure sign of her frustration with me, there was always that particular sigh.

"Pep, I thought you were working late," I muttered, acknowledging my girlfriend. Funny thing to call her "girlfriend". We didn't act like much of a couple anymore. It could be that we are simply out of the "honeymoon" phase or whatever people refer to things as, but honestly I think that we have had a sort of falling out, if you will.

Pepper Potts, everyone. I waited for her to respond. She was very good at the term 'silent as the grave'; I could feel her gaze piercing into my skull. Like she was looking through me, trying to peer into my soul or something. Pepper still didn't enjoy the fact that I was tinkering… or as she called it, wasting my time.

"I did work late, Tony," Pepper finally replied, by my side now as I looked up at her annoyed expression. "It's almost three in the morning, and of course where do I find you? Here. Not in your bed, nor even waiting up for me to get home."

She sounded exasperated.

I turned my head, trying desperately not to roll my eyes. I don't understand why everyone gets so heated about me designing and perfecting my suits. Or anything else in general. It's my thing. I am basically a mechanic, an inventor, or even an engineer. I use my skills for good, now, people. I am trying to better myself and this is how I know how to do that.

Pepper called them a distraction. And I don't totally disagree, but she doesn't understand the beast that they've become. Like the beast inside me. The suit and I are one; I am Iron Man. It is part of my identity. But whatever… she can bitch about it again. I just don't know how much longer I can withstand the bitching before a vessel blows.

/Carnivore! Carnivore!

Could you come and change me?

Take away everything I am

Everything I am/

I finally glanced at the clock beside me, and Jarvis confirmed the time. He always knew what I needed before I even had to ask. "It is indeed 2:47 A.M., sir. You have been up the majority of the night. Might I suggest you put down what it is you have been working on?"

I rubbed my temple, setting the glove down that I had been redesigning from the latest suit and turned to face Pepper.

Her heel had been tapping, impatiently awaiting an answer from me.

"Hey, I lost track of time. And you know I have sleeping issues, Pep, lying in bed doesn't do much for me. Just makes my head run wild with thoughts that I don't want to think about." I pushed up off the chair I had been sitting in, and she stepped closer to me.

Almost in my face. Her body language wasn't hostile, more confrontational, but it was demanding information from me.

"You never want to think about anything unless it is a distraction; never reality, Tony, and you need to come back down to Earth. Your fantasies are getting really old really fast."

I glared.

"What a great figure of speech, there, babe," I moved past her, severely annoyed now at how cold things felt. It was desolate. Just anger and resentment. Just like my dreams. "Come back down to Earth. Do you know what it was like to almost die in a wormhole portal to outer space?! No, you don't. I have tried to get over it, I tried seeing a therapist, I tried medication, I tried meditation, and I have tried distractions. Nothing works! It doesn't go away. Not that easily. Do you realize that I died that day? A part of me died."

I may have snapped, but the argument was a long time coming.

Pepper grit her teeth, her mouth pursed with her anger spewing right back at me, "Do I realize that you died that day? Yes! I know, I know that you are not the same man. You haven't been the same person ever since you were held hostage and the shrapnel got into your heart; ever since this whole damn Iron Man fiasco started, it is a mess! You are a hot mess. I can't do this anymore…. I can't pick up the pieces. It's too much."

Suddenly I felt like I had been punched in the gut and had the wind knocked out of me. Everyone knows what a hot mess I could be at times, but hearing it from Pepper just struck a sensitive nerve.

Since she and I had gotten together, I thought maybe this was my chance to have a normal relationship with someone. Not just a one night stand, not just sex. It wasn't supposed to be going so horribly; it was a gradual slope... Things were slippery, that's for sure.

I didn't want us to be over, though. How could she be giving up so easily? No way… We can't give up. Not now.

"Pep… don't say that, I-I know that I am hard to deal with… Everybody knows that, but… please, we can work things out. Can… give me another chance? I can do it, let's… let's try date night again, and see where things lead," I was trying to plead with her. I did love Pepper, in the best way I knew how to love. She was a part of my family. I needed her. I hope that I can show her that I really do care about her.

The look she gave me in return was utterly ambiguous. When she wanted to be, Pepper was very unreadable. It was her professional, no-strings-attached façade. She was trying not to let me see how she was feeling in response to my plea.

That meant something. I can do this. Come on, Stark! Great, now I am channeling Captain America.

I cautiously placed my hand on her shoulder, hoping to get some kind of reaction.

Pepper's eyes glanced down at my hand and I saw a flash of curiosity—ha! An emotion. They were lying under the surface, dormant, but they were there. And they were ready. Her eyes followed up the line of my arm and finally met with mine, searching.

She paused for a brief moment before answering me.

"Date night… when? We haven't had time for us in months."

I gazed into her eyes; I knew how long it had been… but it wasn't that we haven't had time, we hadn't made time. It was an effort thing.

"Later today, six o'clock sharp," I offered a time, hoping that she was going to agree to it. Meanwhile thinking of a million and a half things that we could do for a date and a million and a half places that we could go. I added, "And we have had time, we just haven't utilized it to salvage this."

Pepper's frown deepened slowly, with no argument on the matter.

"You're right… where did we go wrong?" She replied, leaning against my desk. She looked exhausted.

I walked over and carefully pulled her into my embrace. I wasn't good at many things when it came to relationships, but holding her was something I like to think that I accomplished. Her head instantly found the crevice in the juncture of my shoulder and neck; I cradled it there gently.

It felt good having her close, within reach… touching me, touching her. Physical touch is nice. Been a long time since either of us have been touched apparently by the way our bodies were reacting.

"Not sure, probably from the moment we stopped being an "us" and started trying to be a "you and me" while still calling this a relationship… something along those lines. It's all I've got," I replied delicately, hoping my answer made sense. It was truthful enough.

The lines on Pepper's face, worry lines, softened at my comment. Her body seemed to relax in my arms finally. When she had entered the workshop, she had carried her body rigidly and full of tension.

"Well I guess we need to work on us and get back to where we started, huh?" she looked up at me with a gentleness I haven't seen in a very long time.

I just smiled; we were getting somewhere and it wasn't all curse words and anger.

Tonight would be the reconciliation that had been long overdue, very long overdue, for our relationship and hopefully it would lead to the patching of our bond as a couple. Maybe if we are lucky, we can try staying in bed together again. That seemed more normal than having separate rooms.

But I am probably getting ahead of myself, ahead of tonight. Things could very well fall down this slippery slope just as quickly as this… recompense happened.

One step at a time. First thing's first, I need to plan a date night for this evening and I need to do it sooner than later.

"How about we start by heading to bed and then see what the day brings?" I pushed off from leaning on my desk, Pepper still securely in my arms.

She let out a huge yawn, confirming my statement silently.

"That's what I thought," I murmured, scooping her up and made our way to her wing before she could protest.

"Make sure you lock the door, Jarvis," came her response, sleepily, which also sounded a lot like she wasn't kicking me out.

I walked over and set her gently in bed, sliding off her heels and tossing them in the direction of her closet. Simultaneously crawling in bed beside her. I don't think I have really realized how exhausted I have been lately, not until this very moment. Being next to the woman I care dearly for, watching her peaceful form lull herself to sleep. It was… it was nice.

I missed this. I missed this a lot.

I kicked off my shoes, and hunkered down under the covers with her. Molding my body to hers, I pressed a chaste kiss to her bare shoulder. Eliciting a barely audible hum from her. She was in a dreamlike state.

Wrapping my arms around her, I felt safe. Hopefully tonight the nightmares wouldn't find me. Who was I kidding? They were always there… but a man can hope right? This would be the first test to see if we could rebuild the relationship.

"Goodnight, Pep, sweet dreams…" I mumbled, finally letting the drowsiness overcome me. I generally fought the urge to sleep, but right now I wanted to be greeted by sweet darkness. Praying that the good feelings would drown out the bad memories.

There had to be a first time for everything.

Before I faded into dreamland, I heard Pepper speak.

"Goodnight, Anthony…"

A/N: Also, this first chapter came to me by inspiration of music. The song "Carnivore" by Starset and lyrics (song and lyrics copyright and owned by them) are being used here. I got them from this source: music/preview/Tome7rl35ydr2exyiszljwmt7w4?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics

A little insight into the mind of Tony Stark. This is going to be a longer story, and it is just getting started. I got several ideas from Avengers: Age of Ultron, also. Let me know your thoughts! Thank you!

~Ebony