Big thanks to shadewatcher for following/favouriting.

Firefoxxe – Indeed it has!

KHB123 – Don't worry. Kili will be fine from now on I promise.

Celebrisilweth – I know! But at least things are looking up now.

Shadewatcher – I imagine it will make his day.

EdhelwenOnieta – It's at times like this I can't help but like Thorin.

I'll Be Okay

Kili drew his knees against his chest as he stared at the fire. His mother, Thorin and Fili had gone to bed long ago. Kili had tried to get to sleep but somehow he just couldn't do it. He just couldn't settle down. He wasn't having nightmares – sleep just didn't seem to want to come to him. Kili wrapped a thick blanket around him as he chucked a few more logs onto the fire. He remembered the first time he'd tried to walk and had almost fallen into the fire in the kitchen. His brother had grabbed him seconds before he'd burnt himself.

Kili wiped his eyes. Fili had always been there for him no matter what. He couldn't remember a time when Fili wasn't at his side.

"Kili?"

Kili looked over his shoulder to see Fili standing beside him. His brothers' hair was a mess and he blinked his eyes before sitting down beside him.

"Kili you should get some sleep."

Kili nodded, "I know…I just can't."

He rubbed his arms as he spoke. Most of his scars had faded but there were some that would always be there. Fili put an arm around his shoulders.

"How are you feeling?"

Kili nodded, "I'm good. A lot better than a few weeks ago certainly."

He wasn't lying. After trying to forget about his encounter with Herrack and Cerrack, Kili had been ready to go hunting again the next day and had found himself enjoying a day out with Fili. Or course they had forgotten about their mothers curfew. When they stumbled through the door she had been all ready to punish them. But one look at Kili's smiling face meant any punishment was forgotten about. She just wanted to see him happy. Kili smiled at his brother.

"I'm surprised you did join the others in watching Herrack and Cerrack…leave."

Fili shook his head, "I couldn't. I knew if I saw them I'd want to kill them for what they almost did to you. Why didn't you go? I'd have thought you would have loved it?"

Kili shook his head, "I couldn't. I just want to forget it all happened."

Fili nodded and slowly withdrew his hand. As he did so Kili caught sight of something in his brothers other palm.

"Fili? What's that in your hand?"

Fili bit his lip before hiding his hand behind his back. Kili frowned as Fili began to blush.

"C'mon Fili what is it?"

"It's nothing," Fili shook his head as he drew his hand back out. Kili's eyes widened as he saw an envelope with his name on it. Fili handed it over wordlessly.

"I was going to leave it by your bed. But you might as well have it now."

"What does it say?" Kili's fingers struggled to break the seal. Fili chuckled.

"If you'd wait five minutes you can read it for yourself."

Tossing the envelope on the floor Kili's eyes hurriedly scanned the letter. Even in the low light he could clearly make out each word in Fili's large writing. Tears began pooling in his eyes.

Dear Kili,

My brother. My wonderful little brother.

I know the past few years have been hard for you. It wasn't until recently that I realised just how much you had been suffering. And every time I think about it, it breaks my heart.

But what's worse is the fact that you suffered alone. That I wasn't there to help you. If I had been maybe things would have turned out differently. And I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you Kee. I love you so much and the very idea of failing you kills me.

I've no idea how best to tell you any of this. I know you probably won't even believe me. But I figured that, if you have this, then you have something to hold onto if things get bad again.

You aren't weak. You aren't stupid and you aren't useless. You're stronger than so many people. To be able to fight back everything you have is amazing Kili. I don't blame you for your own birth. I know you never asked to be born that way. You think that I wanted a certain type of brother? You're wrong. I just want my own brother. The one who can make me smile no matter what's happened. The one who doesn't care if he uses a bow because he knows how amazing he is with it. The one who loves me as much as I love him.

When our father died, you were all I had Kili. Without you I would have been so lonely and miserable. You didn't even know it at the time but your birth saved me. It made me smile again. It made me have hope. So thank you for that. I know he'd be proud of you Kili. You're just like him according to mother. Cheeky, impatient and reckless.

I wanted to apologise for how I made you feel. I never intended for you to feel like you couldn't be as good as me. I always assumed you were happy because you never made me think otherwise. Maybe I should have tried harder. When I fought of those bullies I should have done more to make sure you were okay. I'm sorry I didn't do any of that. If you were able to forgive me it would mean the world. All I want is for you to be happy Kili. I want you to be happy and to know just how special you are. You're kind, funny, intelligent, stubborn, and reckless and the best shot I've ever seen! You're amazing Kili. Don't let anybody make you think you're anything less.

Forever, your loving brother,

Fili.

Kili gently folded up the letter as though it was the most precious thing in the world. Looking up he saw Fili gazing at him, tears in his own eyes. Kili wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in his chest while Fili soothed him gently.

"I love you Fee."

Fili hugged him tightly, "I love you to Kee."

"Thank you. Not just for the letter but for everything. For always being there for me, for helping defend me…for saving my life. For everything."

Fili beamed at him, "I'm your brother Kili. It's the least I can do for you."

Kili nodded as tiredness began to creep up on him. Fili nudged him.

"Sleepy?"

Kili shook his head but already he could feel his eyes closing. Stretching out on the carpet he pulled the blanket over his body.

"Think I'll sleep down here tonight."

Fili said nothing. Instead he lay down beside Kili and pulled his own blanket over him.

"Do you remember when we were younger, how we'd build our own fort right here?"

Kili nodded eagerly and Fili smiled, "We'd spend hours playing. Just you and me and our stuffed animals."

Kili sighed, "Sometimes I wish I could go back to that time. When I was younger. Everything was simpler."

Fili nodded, "I know what you mean Kili."

"We wouldn't fit in that fort now would we?"

Fili shook his head, "No Kili. We wouldn't fit in that fort."

By lunchtime the next day both Dis and Thorin couldn't help but be worried. Both Fili and Kili still hadn't come from their room. Dis knew what her sons were like, the second they smelt food nothing would stop them. But even frying bacon hadn't roused them. Giving Thorin a worried glance she got to her feet and hurried towards the bedroom door.

"Fili? Kili darling?"

No answer. Dis gently turned the handle and pushed the door open. Both she and Thorin stood in the doorway in amazement. A huge fort had been built in the room. The furniture had been moved around; blankets and cushions had been heaped together. Shaking her head Dis silently lifted the blanket celling of the fortress with a smile.

Kili and Fili lay there. Each was clutching their stuffed toy against their chest with a huge blanket covering them. Fili was snoring gently whilst Kili mumbled something. Thorin took Dis' hand and she smiled.

"Just like their father. Always a dwarfling at heart."

Thorin nodded, "They look so peaceful. So happy."

"I pray it stays that way for a long time." Dis mumbled. Thorin gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I believe it will sister. I believe it will."

"Mother?" Fili's eyes opened and he looked up. Dis' smile widened as Kili did the same. He gave her a mock frown.

"What are you doing in our fort?"

Dis backed away, "Apologies. I merely wondered if you two were actually going to grace us with your presence this morning."

Fili rubbed his eyes while Kili licked his lips.

"What's for lunch?"

Yes Dis thought, everything's going to be fine.

Aww so that's it everyone! Kili's fine and things can only go up from here. Really blown away by the response to this story. Was worried that the whole self-harm and suicide thing would be off putting but thanks for showing me how wrong I was xx