Hey y'alls! I hope everyone's doing well and you're all healthy…because you know…the virus going around and everything!

*Hades would like to mention to please read, review, and all that stuff as you enjoy the chapters I come up with.

*Poseidon and Zeus will now gang up on Hades for taking the spotlight, because he doesn't deserve it! I own nothing, so here goes nothing. This one comes from ponystoriesandothers! Thanks for the great idea! As always, let me know if there are any other demigods/gods you'd like in this one.

This story was suggested by ponystoriesandothers, so I hope you guys enjoy this one!

CHAPTER 79: ALL HADES' FAULT

Hades was sitting in his study, minding his own business. He was looking through some files of the bad people he had to deal with and was trying to think up creative ways to punish them.

He decided to go to Thanatos and ask his professional opinion, when a knock scared the living piss out of him.

He sighed, got up from his chair, and opened the door to reveal Persephone. She was clutching her purse and looking at him funny. "Well, I'm leaving," said Persephone bluntly.

That took a moment for Hades to process. Finally, he said, "WHY?! WHAT DID I DO?!" Then, he started crying like a little baby. Persephone hadn't seen Hades crying this bad since they went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.

"What's the matter with you?" asked Persephone. "I just said I was leaving." She clutched her purse tighter.

"Where are you going?" Hades barked.

"I'm going to take Makaria to the OMC for her cleaning appointment," said Persephone. "We'll be back by lunchtime."

"Who's doing the appointment thingy?" asked Hades, lighting a cigarette and offering one to Persephone.

"You smoke?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because my life sucks."

"Oh." Persephone cleared her throat and waved her hand in front of her nose. "What were we just talking about?"

"About Makaria's appointment," Hades said bitterly.

"Ah, yes," said Persephone. "I'm assisting Mother."

The next thing out of Hades' mouth was a string of swear words in multiple languages. He'd been preparing that for a long time, so you know it was good, right?

"Honey," Persephone said calmly, "Mother loves Makaria."

"But she doesn't love me," Hades said angrily. "I hate Demeter."

"I think it's time for some antidepressants," Persephone suggested. "I'll speak to Hestia about you when we go up there in a bit."

"If I go up there to see someone, will it hurt?" Hades asked in a childish sort of voice.

"I don't think they're gonna do anything to you, honey," said Persephone sweetly. "Now, we really must be going. See you!" She pecked Hades on the cheek, trying to ignore the cloud of smoke that was forming around his head. Persephone thought of the disturbing scene from Alice in Wonderland, where Alice meets that caterpillar that somehow knows how to smoke and whatnot. Maybe, she thought, if I ask nicely, Hades will start smoking letters!

Makaria was playing with her dolls in her bedroom. She saw her mother and jumped up. "Mommy," she said, "after my checkup, can we get some ice cream?"

"I don't see why not," said Persephone. "But only if you're good. That means no kicking, crying, or screaming."

Makaria nodded and grabbed Persephone's hand.

When they arrived in the waiting room, Persephone and Makaria headed up to Hestia's desk.

"Good morning, girls," said Hestia sweetly. "Are you here for Makaria's appointment?"

Persephone nodded. "I'd also like to make an appointment for Hades. He's been very depressed lately."

"Hmm…" said Hestia. "Okay. Let me check the appointment book. Okay, it looks like the next available appointment is with Dr. Asclepius at two this afternoon. Shall I book him?"

"Yes," said Persephone. "That would be great."

Once Hestia and Persephone had finished talking, Persephone led Makaria to one of the chairs. "Now, sweetheart," she said, "Mommy has to go help Grandma Demeter set up for the appointment. So, how about you play with the toys here?"

Makaria shrugged. "Okay." She picked up a picture book as Persephone headed back into the exam room areas.

As Persephone was setting up for the procedure, she saw various patients go by with nurses. The first patient she noticed was Zeus (who was being led over to an exam room by Leto). Zeus was talking to Leto very seductively, which made Persephone feel bad for Leto.

"Okay," said Leto, "Dr. Apollo will be in in just a minute. He'd like you to wear this gown."

"Don't you have something a bit more attractive I can wear?" asked Zeus.

"Afraid not," said Leto. "Why, Zeus? Don't you like ponies on your gowns?"

"Hell, no!"

Persephone's next eavesdropping experience was with Artemis leading Hermes down the hall to see Dr. Asclepius. Then, she heard Hestia telling Makaria not to put the picture book in her mouth. Persephone thought she'd taught her better than that.

"There's my Sephie!" Demeter squealed, coming into the room. She had on a lab coat today, covering a green dress. If Persephone was remembering correctly, Demeter had worn the same sort of outfit when Hades was in the chair.

"Good morning, Mother," said Persephone. "I've set everything up for you."

"Zeus! Put your gown back on!" they heard Apollo yelling. "No one wants to see that huge zit on your ass!"

"Shut up, Apollo!" yelled Zeus. "When you're a king, you don't follow any rules!"

Demeter rolled her eyes and glanced at Persephone. "Why don't you go get Makaria while I look at her file, honey."

"Okay, Mommy."

Persephone ran outside and opened the door. "Baby, it's time."

Makaria threw the picture book on the table by a chair and followed her mother into the exam room. Makaria's smile faded when she saw Demeter standing by the computer, a mask draped around her neck and wearing blue gloves.

"Hello, Makaria," said Demeter politely, gesturing to the chair. "I'm Dr. Demeter. How are you doing today?"

"Good," said Makaria.

"Great. Well, have a seat in the chair, honey."

Makaria reluctantly sat in the chair and stared up at her mother. Persephone gave her a look that meant, Just do what she says, and it'll be fine.

Makaria got a bib put on her and Persephone gave her a pair of sunglasses. Then, Demeter asked Makaria to open her mouth.

So far, so good. Demeter was telling Persephone a bunch of letters and numbers that Makaria didn't understand. Apparently, Persephone didn't either because she stopped Demeter midway through the exam to ask what she was saying.

"Actually," said Demeter, "Makaria, did you brush your teeth this morning?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Daddy said I didn't have to," said Makaria, smiling prettily at Demeter. "Daddy said if I didn't do that, I would totally piss you off, because that's what he wants from you." She scratched her head. "And Daddy wanted me to tell you that he's going to take Mommy into their room and they're gonna do things that he wouldn't tell me about."

"Okay, Makaria, that's enough," said Persephone.

"No, Mommy. Daddy also said that cereal's for old farts like Demeter."

Demeter's face had gone from red to a deep shade of purple out of anger. "I'm just going to finish this appointment and walk out of here like I had a good time," she said.

"Daddy also said that if he sees Uncle Trip again, he'll cut off his head and feed it to Cerberus for a midnight snack," Makaria giggled.

"See, Sephie? This is what happens if you marry a moron like Hades," said Demeter, a disapproving look on her face. She sighed heavily. "Okay, Makaria, please open your mouth so I can clean your teeth."

"You wanna know what Daddy said about Fructus?"

"Not really."

"I'll tell you anyway. Daddy said that Fructus is a little shit fruit god who doesn't know anything, and he'll never grow up to be a handsome man."

The tension in the room was so bad at this point that Persephone decided that the only way to make this appointment end sooner was to drug her daughter and make her high. She picked up the laughing gas mask and put it over Makaria's nose. "Baby, this gas will make you feel silly."

"What the Hades are you doing?" snapped Demeter. "That'll just make her talk more!"

"Not my problem," said Persephone. She was becoming irritated with Demeter.

"You know," said Demeter, taking out some wheat-flavored toothpaste, "this would've never happened if you hadn't married Hades!"

"Mother, he's great once you get to know him."

"I don't have to know him. He took you away from me, so obviously he's a jerk!"

Makaria was wondering if this was what being drunk was like. She'd seen Hades and Persephone drunk before. She could barely make out the images of the two woman who were supposed to be—what were they supposed to be doing? Was she in here for a checkup or surgery?

"And another thing," Demeter grumbled, "it's all Hades' fault that Makaria's teeth are like this. He's just such a bad parent. What did she have for breakfast this morning, Sephie?"

Persephone muttered something inaudible.

"What was that?"

"I said Skittles," Persephone said. "I didn't even know about that until Hades told me."

"She's on the fast track for godly liver failure," snapped Demeter. "What about lunch yesterday?"

"A whole packet of Twizzlers," said Persephone sheepishly.

"See?!" Demeter screamed. "Persephone, you married an idiot!"

Makaria giggled. The pretty light above her head was making her feel like she was looking at the sun. It was so nice to look at the sun! They didn't have the sun in the Underworld.

Demeter sighed and finished cleaning Makaria's teeth. Then, she looked at the computer. "Looks like she's due for x-rays."

Once the x-rays were taken, Demeter looked at them. "See, Sephie? Four cavities! I wonder how that could've happened."

"If I could take a wild guess," Persephone said, "I'd say it was from my husband."

"Yeah," said Demeter. "I'd like to see her back in a week to get all of them filled."

"Who'll be assisting?"

"I'll find somebody…" Demeter said with a nasty look in her eyes that told Persephone it would be Triptolemus.

Makaria was just kinda sitting in the chair with her mouth hanging open. She liked watching people fighting. It was pretty sweet!

Persephone took the mask off Makaria's nose and she instantly began to come back to reality. Persephone took her hand and led her out into the waiting room.

"Mommy," said Makaria, after Persephone had booked another appointment for her fillings, "can we get some ice cream? I was a good girl, right?"

"I suppose you were," said Persephone. "But next time, I wouldn't say that stuff to Demeter. She gets a little defensive about her kids."

And there you go, guys! I hope you all enjoyed it. Please take a minute to leave a review or something!