(A/N) Hey guys so I'm updating again! So yay Sorry this chapter is super depressing I think. In the awful part of my mind I secretly hope you all cry but I don't want you to hate me so please do not. Love you guys! You're all the best for sticking with my story and I hope you love this chapter.
P.S. We're at 104 pages! Eeeeepppppp!
Marlee went into labor on the fourth at 11 o'clock and was immediately brought to the castle. I met her and Carter at the doorway and led her over to a wheel chair. Some of the nurses scurried over to help and watched with smiles on their faces as Carter rolled her swiftly away to the infirmary. Once there, the doctors gave her some things called ice chips and said that she was at a two so they couldn't give her an epidural yet and she couldn't start pushing. Carter and I sat on either side of her. She held on to his hand and squeezed every time there was a contraction while I sat wiping her forehead and giving her ice chips.
"I want these dang babies out of me!" she screeched. It was now one A.M and she was only at a four. By seven, they could give her an epidural. "Just a bit longer baby. I need you to hold on just a little longer." Carter kept giving her little boosts like this and I was sadly reminded of when they were whipped during the selection. I looked down at the hand I was holding and saw the scars. Bile started to rise up in my throat but I swallowed it down. I needed to stay strong. For Marlee. "Let's talk about something to distract you." I said scooting closer and wiping sweat from her brow. "How did you end up decorating the baby's rooms?" I had only been there for the painting and the ordering of items.
"Well, the girls side is *deep breath* all pink and purple and we painted roses along the top and bottom of her side of the wall." Marlee did a couple of breathing exercises going hoo hoo hee, hoo hoo hee, before she continued. "Her bed is white and the sheets are a plain pink. *hoo hoo hee* my mom also made her a blanket covered in roses that we hung off the top side of the crib." I nodded enthusiastically and smiled wide. "She also has a purple canopy above her bed that hangs down and fans around it. Oh and Carter picked out the cutest, fluffiest bear for her." I laughed and looked over at Carter who was gripping his wife's hand and not showing an ounce of pain every time she death gipped him. He had a bright smile on his face and the corners of his eyes were crinkled. I could already tell that he was ready to have a precious little girl. "Let's see," Marlee said after another contraction hit. I gave her an ice chip and she continued. "There's also a white rocking chair with a pink cushion on her side, a white dresser with roses on the drawers and a white rocking horse with a purple saddle." She kind of looked off and smiled as if seeing the room right there before her eyes.
"What about the other side?" I asked.
She smiled but winced in pain again. "Well, on his side, it's painted Blue, green, yellow, and red polka dots in a section in the middle and *very deep breath* and he has painted airplanes on the bottom and tops of his walls." I smiled imagining what that would look like. "His crib is white with blue sheets and an airplane blanket hanging off the side. Instead of a canopy though, he has little toy airplanes that he can see and play with when he gets older. I picked out his bear and it's brown but has on a green t-shirt. *hoo hoo hee* His dresser is white with airplanes on the drawers and his rocking chair is white with a red cushion. Instead of a play horse, he has an airplane that can be pushed around." I liked her ideas… Cute but simple. By the time she was done talking, it was two thirty and I was exhausted. I can't even imagine how Marlee feels right now.
Another thirty minutes in and Marlee was almost at a five. "You're doing so good Marel's and once those babies come out you'll forget all the pain." I didn't know for sure if that was true but that's what my mom and Kenna said so I guess it's got to be close to the truth. She nodded her head and took a couple of deep breaths before wriggling in pain from another contraction. By three fifteen, Maxon had taken my place of wiping her forehead and giving her ice chips while I leaned on his shoulder from a chair beside him. Carter was resting his head on his hands and looked as if he were in a silent prayer so we talked quietly to each other. Marlee simply stated that she was too tired to talk and instead was breathing in an out as fast as she could.
In a mere thirty more minutes, Marlee was at a seven so we called the nurse for an epidural. She came running in and got it ready while we watched intently to what she was doing. Instead of some kind of drink type medicine like I thought it would be, she pulled out a long needle with a clear liquid inside. "Can you turn her on her side please?" she asked us smiling. We all looked at her with confusion in our eyes but did as she asked.
"Why her side?" Maxon asked finally.
The nurse looked up from rubbing an alcohol pad on Marlee's back and smiled "It's so that I can put it in her back easier." I swear I almost vomited right then and there on a heaving Marlee.
"Excuse me what are you going to do to my wife?" Carter asked with his mouth a gap and scared eyes.
"Put it in her back sir. That's how this works." Carter and Maxon too by then looked like they were going to blow chunks and looked away asking Marlee if she really wanted to do this.
"Just put the damn needle in my back." She yelled closing her eyes in pain as another contraction hit. We all turned away and didn't look back till the nurse called out "all done."
We turned and saw that she was now on her back but something was sticking out of her. "What did you do?"
The nurse just chuckled and took my hands saying "It's all right your highness. It stays in her back to pump the medicine in, she's honestly fine." I sighed in relief but turned back to Marlee still worried.
Those feelings didn't last however because almost right away, Marlee visibly relaxed. Maybe I actually would get an epidural when I had my own.
Thirty minutes later and Maxon and I were being pushed out of the door because she was at a nine and ready to push. "Good luck!" Maxon yelled over his shoulder. "It'll be fine and you'll do great I called almost all the way out the door. Once they shut. I sat down in front of Maxon who had plopped himself on the floor and leaned back on him. Now all we do is wait I thought to myself. Maxon started drawing circles on my tummy and I fell asleep with his warmth encasing me and the heat of where his hands drew circles on me.
General POV
The doctor walked in and said "Okay Marlee these babies are coming fast and we need you to start pushing in just a minute okay?" She had pain etched all over her face but nodded in understanding. He put gloves onto his clean hands and tied his hair back with a bandana. He got down at the foot of the bed and put his hands out. "Okay Marlee now give me a big strong push." After about 20 minutes of screams, pain, sweat, and crying, the first baby came out. It was a little boy weighing 6 pounds 2 ounces. His dad got to wipe off his head and cut the umbilical chord. He brought the baby over to his wife and leant him down.
"He's precious." She whispered "But I'm so tired from pushing, I don't want to push a second baby out." She chuckled slightly and looked at her little boy one more time before looking back to the doctor. "I'm ready." Carter gave the little crying baby to a nurse who scurried off to get him clean.
Marlee once again started pushing, this time it only took 15 minutes but she was still exhausted. As soon as the baby came out though, the doctor knew something was wrong. The babies' cries were quite strangled and she was significantly smaller than her brother. "Samantha we have an issue." One of the nurses hurried over and the Woodworks looked up worried not understanding what was happening. The doctor quickly cut the babies umbilical chord and weighed her. She was only 4 pounds and 3 ounces. Her head was extremely small and she was deathly pale.
"Whats going on? I don't understand what's wrong?" Asked Carter looking over at the doctor and nurse. The doctor looked down sadly and then over at the scared couple.
"I'm sorry to say that your daughter has a condition that is not easily helped."
"Well what is it then?" Asked Marlee on the verge of tears.
"It's called Acute Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome. What happens is that blood can be transfused disproportionally from one twin to the other. This makes the twin that has less blood volume grow much slower than the other twin. Sadly most cases don't make it because they are too weak to live and we can't do anything."
Carter had tears streaming down his face and was holding the hand of his wife while the other covered his mouth. "Are you, are you saying that she's going to, to; to die?" he made a strangled noise and muffled it with his hand more.
The doctor looked him straight in the eye and said "I'm sorry but I don't believe there's any chance, she's just to small and there's no amount of medical gear that could help her."
They both burst in to tears at that and the nurses brought over both babies. After that, everyone left to give them some time. Carter got into the small bed next to Marlee and took hold of the little girl. "Can we name them?" Marlee asked, tears streaming down her face. He nodded looking at his dying little girl
"She's so beautiful and-" he couldn't finish his sentence, his little girls whole body fit in the palm of his hand and here she was, dying as he watched helpless.
"You can name her." Marlee chocked out stroking her daughter's cheek. The babies breathing was hitched and sounded weak. It was breaking Marlee's heart just to hear it.
"Katya Elizabeth." He chocked out kissing her head as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. "You can name him."
"Kile Aaron." She managed a slight smile and looked down at the little baby clutching her finger.
"Hi Katya." Carter's mouth trembled and he stroked her tiny blonde baby hairs. He could barely speak "Hi Kile." He stocked his son's small head. "I'm your daddy and this amazing lady is your mama." He took a few moments and sniffed back his tears. "Isn't she beautiful?"
"Hi Katya, Hi Kile. I'm your mama" she broke down then as Katya started to make strangled noises. Her pedal pink lips opened slightly gasping for a breath and she opened her eyes for the first time. They were green just like Carters while Kile had blue ones. Carter felt for her heart beat on her weak body and noticed that it was extremely slow.
"No." he cried carefully holding her close to his chest. "Please, no, don't go yet." He broke down tears streaming down his face. He was so desperate for his daughter to stay with him. "Please I'm not ready, please I love you so much." He was holding her close to his face and tight against him. Marlee was beside him, balling, she couldn't even speak. "Please sweetie hang on. Daddies got you please." She took hold of his finger and held it tightly as she let out gasping breaths. Her heart began to slow even more and panic swept across his face as she closed her eyes. "No I can't lose you. Don't let go, daddies here please don't let go not yet." He didn't even wipe his eyes afraid he would make something change. "Please baby, don't go. We just met you! I have something for you. Here." He pulled out the bear he had picked out and dangled it for her. She slightly opened her eyes her breath fast and withered. "See he'll protect you at night and make sure you're always happy. But you have to hang on. You can't give up. Please. Please. Please." He was slightly rocking her and was praying with all his might. When he couldn't speak any more, Marlee could again.
"I'm so sorry, I couldn't protect you. I'm so sorry. That was my one job and I-I failed." She burst into sobs and buried closer to Carter.
"I swear I'll protect you. You'll never get hurt and you'll run and play and be my little girl." Carter tightly closed his eyes and bit his lip to keep from crying out. "You have to stay with us though okay. Just please stay, please." Her eyes opened one last time and he and Marlee smiled down at her slightly thinking she was getting better. She smiled slightly at the sight of her parents and then took her last breath. It came harsh and trembled but then she was still. Her hand went limp and slipped from Carters finger. He stared at her unblinking as tears clouded his vision. As soon as her breath stopped, Kile started crying and reaching out towards where his sister was. Even though he was a newborn, they still had a connection and it had just snapped like a rubber band. Somehow he noticed that break.
Carter started pushing his fingers against her chest trying to do a little CPR but it wasn't working. She was gone. "No please, no. No. No. No. No. Please come back. Come back to me." Marlee burst into strangled sobs and looked at her beautiful little girl with the petal pink lips and unblinking green eyes. Carter held her close saying soothing words but nothing worked. His little girl had just been brought into the world and taken out of it within an hour. Even though she was gone, Marlee traded children with him and looked at her still child with shaking breaths. Her rocking chair had been brought down and Marlee went over to rock her child for the first and last time. She touched the soft flowered fabric and sat down putting the handmade blanket around both her and Katya.
"I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, "I'll never let you go" she gently rocked her voice trembling at the words of her lullaby.
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight
Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound
The song was bittersweet but Marlee even though it hurt, believed that it was the only one she could sing as her goodbye to her little girl. She was in a better place now, her suffering was over, but Marlee wanted her back so bad. She was too young and had no reason to be dead right now. It wasn't fair. Tears streamed down her face as she kissed her daughters forehead and continued rocking.
Don't you dare look out your window darling
Everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby
Even when the music's gone
Gone
She closed her eyes sinking into the melody and wishing she was gone too. Then maybe her daughter wouldn't be so lonely. She couldn't stand the thought that her baby was alone and scared and by herself. She just had to believe that someone was taking care of her. They had to be. Marlee needed to be here, to take care of Kile and love Carter. If she were to go, it would be bad, he just lost his daughter. He couldn't lose his wife to. She leant close to her daughters head and gave her a shaky kiss. "I love you more than life itself, but I have to stay here for daddy and for your brother okay." She could barely talk and wiped her eyes and nose taking deep breaths. "So don't give up on me okay. I know we'll be together someday and God knows I'm already looking forward to that day but until then, you be a good girl and look out for us." She leant closer and whispered softly trembling, "You are my angel and as long as you are with me in my heart-" she broke, biting her lip, "I will never stay strong and have hope. I love you." She began rocking again. This was the hardest thing she ever had to do.
Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound
"Goodbye my Angel. I love you with all my heart."
A week later, the funeral was held and it was lovely. White lilies decorated in beautiful pots flowered the ground and the service was beautiful. Many came to pay their respects and throughout the whole thing, America never once let go of Marlee. Everyone cried, even the men. It was a loss to harsh for an innocent, young, and beautiful person like Katya. She was just a baby. Just a little baby. When everyone left, Marlee and Carter stayed behind with little Kile. When they reached her grave, Kile put a hand on the stone and smiled slightly, his sister would always be with him. Even though he was still a newborn, he somehow felt her presence at that grave-stone.
"Well baby," Carter started, trying not to cry. "I'm not going to say goodbye because that would be too hard, but I want you to know I'll visit you all the time." He broke down falling to his knees, "And I will never, ever, forget you." Marlee got to her knees too, holding Kile tightly and carefully to her chest,
"We love you baby girl, don't forget us." She smiled with tears rolling down her cheeks and got up taking Carters hand. "Can you give me a minute?" She asked with a sad smile. Carter nodded wiping his tears and sniffing. He took his son carefully and walked back to the castle with him. "Remember, I will always be with you. Always." She touched the gravestone gently and wiped away the tears leaking down her face.
With that, she turned away and started walking back towards the castle. On her way she found a small piece of paper and picked it up, reading what it said. She gasped in surprise not knowing what to think. Quickly she ripped it up and let it fly away in the breeze, clearly only she was supposed to see it, no one else and that was okay. She now knew that even though she couldn't be with Katya, she was in good hands. The paper permanently etched into her mind said…
Looking after your beautiful daughter Katya. Don't worry, be happy, and live life to its fullest.
- Love you loser - Celeste
She smiled it was going to be okay. Not just yet but hopefully soon.
(A/N) So what do you think? I hope you all liked it and tell me what you think or how you felt during this chapter. I'll update ASAP when I get the chance but till then I hope you are all living life to the fullest and loving what you have! Bye bye
-Thehumanlibrary