A Life

Prompt from Anonymous: Saw a prompt where future caskett kids (some young some older) see the few pics taken of the Caskett wedding and ask why she's not wearing a dress.

Notes: This prompt inspired me in such an interesting and unexpected way. This was started prior to Sleeper, so it's AU for the latter few episodes of the season.

Fourth in the Pictures of Us Series (A Hobby, A Gift, A Home).

"Momma, Sammy's sick."

There are many things Kate Beckett doesn't need to hear as she tries to keep the morning under control and that's near the top of the list. They're already running late, all of them, and each attempt at managing the chaos just makes it worse. One more thing on the pile might just be too much.

She has a meeting with the DA to go over her testimony for an upcoming trial, Castle has a meeting with his publisher to finalize details for his impending book tour, and three of her four kids have to be at school early for field trips or field day (something with field in it, right now she can't even remember). So of course this is the day her libido gets the better of her and she mauls her husband instead of getting up to wake the kids on time. Of course today's the day her usually charming children decide to refuse to get up without a fuss. It's a battle to get them to brush their hair, they refuse to wear the damn required t-shirts for their outings, they even refuse to eat what she's making for breakfast. And now her oldest son is purporting his sister is sick.

She adores her children, she does. Between the four of them and her husband, her life is bright and joyful, a never-ending adventure. But if someone doesn't cut her some slack in the next five minutes, the kingdom might end up down one Castle.

"Castle!" she gives in and bellows for reinforcements, knowing he's probably mostly-ready for his meeting. She'd taken the bathroom first, leaving him boneless between their sheets, but he has to be dressed by now. "Little help in here?"

Her husband stumbles out of their bedroom half a second later, just as Elia makes a break for it, dangling the Eggo waffle she's drowned in syrup between two dainty fingers. Rick manages to catch the three year old before she hits the couch, saving them from another lengthy clean up. He makes a face, but refrains from commenting on the sticky fingers that curl around his sleeve.

"Are you driving Mommy insane again?" he asks, keeping his voice light. Elia barks her crazy laugh, pressing a syrupy kiss to her father's cheek. She doesn't deny it; she knows what she's doing.

He deposits baby girl at the bar again, murmuring a firm "stay" to her. The warning seems to work on their wiggling five year old, too, keeping him from toppling backwards. Aiden's been fascinated with pushing the limits of the bar stools since he was able to climb into the seat himself, but the last thing they need is for him to end up in the ER with a busted forehead. Again.

"Sammy's sick," Simon reminds her, looking far too serious for his own good. He seems to have shaken off his sleepy malaise as he pokes his baby sister's cheek to make her giggle.

Right, okay. Samara's sick.

"Castle, masses," she orders somewhat needlessly. He's already in the kitchen pouring himself coffee. He must not mind her bossing him around, though; she catches him giving her a thumbs up on her way to the couch to take care of her eldest.

The girl's been wrapped in a blanket since Kate dragged her downstairs; only her dark hair and her socked feet are visible. Perching beside her daughter, Beckett lets the frenzy in the kitchen fade into the background.

"Hey, sweetheart, what's going on?" She tugs at the blanket cocoon a little bit, pushing Sammy's hair out of her eyes.

"I'm sick, Mom."

"Yeah?" she murmurs, trying not to sound skeptical. Samara's been "sick" a few times in the last two weeks. Castle humored her the first time, keeping her home with him for a father-daughter day, but the other times Beckett's checked her for illness – actual illness – and sent the eleven year old to school.

Samara sighs, nodding into the blanket.

"What hurts?" She strokes her daughter's cheek gently, easing her upright.

"My stomach."

"Puke-y hurt or pain hurt?"

"Both?"

Kate nods, palming her daughter's belly gently. She probes her side, but Samara doesn't flinch. Not her appendix, then. Probably not anything else, either, but she lowers her voice to ask more personal questions anyway.

Once upon a time, she'd had boundaries. Then she had kids.

Samara flushes, shaking her head to both questions. "I just feel gross. Can I stay home?"

She should say no. Castle can't stay with the girl and she can't take her to her meeting with the DA, but the poor kid looks so miserable she knows she won't deny her. Her girl loves school; to have her repeatedly faking sick means something's wrong.

"Rick?"

Castle looks up, damp cloth against Elia's hands.

"Hmm?"

"Do you have time for two stops?" She'd been planning to take the girls to their respective schools while her husband handled making a single stop for the boys on his way to his publisher, but maybe she can convince him to take the baby for her, too. "Sam and I are going to stay home."

"Yeah, of course. Is uh, is everything okay?"

She can't say for sure that it is, but she nods anyway. "Yeah, I'm just going to call the DA and reschedule." The testimony she's preparing to give is important, but her kid's more important. Javi or Kevin can take the stand before her if she's not prepared enough.

Her daughter burrows into her shoulder, murmuring her thanks. Castle smiles softly, nodding his agreement.

Elia whines. Everything her sister does, she wants to do, so staying home immediately trumps the field trip her class is going on.

"Not this time, sunshine," Castle chirps, swinging her down from the breakfast bar before doing the same for Aiden. "You're going to school today, remember?"

"Right, 'Lia. It's the museum." Her brother reminds her, ever Castle's parrot.

Elia squeaks at the reminder. "The dinosaws!"

Castle grins, kissing her head. "Right, that's why you're wearing your dino shorts and your field trip shirt."

Their baby girl beams, eager to show off for him. "Ya, Daddy."

"Ya, okay. Backpacks, all three of you."

The family terror runs off without further argument, tugging her brothers behind her. Crisis averted. Kate mouths a "thank you" to her husband, tipping her chin up to accept a coffee-flavored kiss. They're the best kind, really.

"Eewww," Aiden taunts, skidding to a stop beside the couch. "Dad, you're gonna get mom cooties!"

"I'll show you mom cooties," Beckett growls playfully, grappling for her giggling son and covering his face in wet kisses. Aiden squeals, but only squirms away when she releases him. Elia's her next victim. The little girl giggles hysterically when she reminds her not to bring a dinosaur home. A moment later, Castle scoops her up to keep things moving.

"See you later, baby girl," she taps her leg, turning to her oldest son.

At eight, Simon insists he's too cool for hugs and kisses from mom, but she tugs him into an embrace anyway. He's been eyeing his sister since making his announcement and as soon as Kate pats his back, he's nudging Samara.

"See ya later, Sammy. Feel better."

Samara nods, thanking her brother. He beams when she wishes him luck for his field day events.

"We'll be there to pick you guys up," Kate promises, rubbing his side. "And I want to see all of your medals."

Simon grins. "I'm gonna crush it."

So competitive, just like his parents. He has Kate's speed, Castle's determination, and an innate passion for running. She has no doubt he'll win every track event he's in today.

Castle steals another kiss as the boys lead their sister to the door, grinning boyishly at her murmured warning against mom cooties.

"See you in a few hours," he promises, leaning over to kiss the top of Samara's head, too. "Both of you. We'll watch movies."

As soon as they're gone, Beckett grabs her phone to call the DA. The woman is annoyed, of course, but she stands her ground. Right now this is her focus.

"So, she starts once the call is over, brushing her daughter's hair off her forehead, "why don't I make some toast and see if we have ginger ale to settle your stomach?"

Sam nods, curling into herself a little more. Kate presses a kiss into her hair, standing carefully.

The toast seems to help, but she doesn't push Samara to talk just yet. Instead, Kate cradles her coffee in one hand, keeping her daughter tucked against her.

Samara might not be hers by blood, but sometimes she's too much like Kate for her own good. She'll talk when she's ready.

"Mom?" she asks finally, putting her empty plate to one side.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Why, um… why did you and Daddy adopt me? I mean, what made you want to?"

"What made us want to adopt you?" she repeats, kissing the girl's hair.

"Yeah. I mean you and Daddy can obviously have kids of your own, so I just… wondered why me?"

"Why you?" she repeats again, trying to make sure she understands the question.

Samara nods. "I was just curious."

Except her eyes lower, telling Kate there's more than just idle curiosity. It's the first time she's ever asked about her adoption, despite the fact that they'd told her years ago. She's always been laid back about it, never asking why.

"Honey, did someone…"

Sam looks away, turning into Kate's shoulder.

"What'd they say?" she cuts through it, pushing a piece of hair behind her daughter's ear.

"He called me a stray dog," Samara whispers, wiping her cheeks quickly. "And he asked if you found me at the pound."

Oh, sweetheart. Rage flares in her chest, but she fights to keep her cool.

"Who said that? And when did he say this?"

Once upon a time she'd given Castle advice about letting Alexis fight her own battles, but right now all she wants to do is grab a uni and pluck the kid who hurt her daughter out of class to scare the shit out of him. It would be a terrible abuse of power, but she'd do it, just to show the child that there are consequences for being awful to someone.

Samara tells her quietly, shaking her head. "I thought he liked me, Mom, but he was just hanging out with me to make fun of me."

Yeah, that boy's getting picked up. By Esposito. Nobody fucks with her kid like that.

Pulling her daughter closer, she kisses her hair. "You are so, so much better than that jerk, sweetheart. So much better."

The girl nods, tucking her hand under her chin. "Thanks, Mom."

"And as for your question, let me get a coffee refill and I'll tell you the story. The whole story."

Sam hasn't moved an inch when Kate returns with two steaming mugs, but she sits up eagerly to accept the coffee. It's still more milk than java, but it's a treat nonetheless.

Samara cuddles closer, letting her take a drag from her mug before she begins.

"Your dad could probably tell this better, but I'll try," she promises, brushing her daughter's hair. Samara nods, lifting her eyes, silently urging her to go on.

"About three days before your Dad and I were supposed to get married, everything started going wrong. My dress was a casualty. Our venue was ruined in a fire and we had to move the ceremony to the Hamptons, amongst other complications. We thought it was finally going to work out, but as your dad was driving to the house to meet us, someone ran him the road and took him."

"Mom," Samara breathes, "that's so scary. Was he okay? Did you find him? How long was he gone?"

Pushing back the memory of months of pushing herself to the brink to bring Castle back, she nods. "Yeah, baby, we found him. After a little bit, we found him. He'd…been through some pretty big things, and he'd asked the people who took him to help him forget what he'd seen so he could come home."

Her daughter nods, eyebrows knotted together in consternation. "What things? Did you ever find out?"

She nods, licking her lips. "Yeah. He um, years before I met him, he had a friend who wasn't on the up and up."

"From his research?"

"Yeah, from his research. So this guy had… apparently Dad owed him a favor and when he got into some trouble, he cashed in on that, using his resources to kidnap him."

Samara snorts. "Nice. He couldn't just say please, huh?"

"Not with the business he was in." Her fingers trail through her daughter's hair.

"What business was he in? I don't get it."

Explaining this to her isn't going to be easy. "Well… he'd gotten into the business of moving things… stolen things, drugs, people, and he forced your dad to help him get out of one country and to another one to continue the job. Of course, Dad didn't know the extent of the man's business when they took him, he thought it was… well he knew it was bad, but not that."

She pauses to sip her coffee and take a deep breath. "When your dad's memory started to come back, we decided we needed to look into things. And that's when we met you. You were only two years old, and a tiny two year old at that. You were terrified when we first saw you. You hid from us both at first, but as soon as we were able to get you to look at us, we knew you were ours. We'd talked about starting a family, having a baby, and as soon as Daddy picked you up, we knew we just had."

Pulling her closer, Kate rubs her back. "We tried to find your family, we searched for months, but we came up empty."

Sam nods, sipping her coffee carefully. It's Kate's own method for stalling, for gathering her thoughts. "Was that when you decided to adopt me? After you tried to find someone else to take me?"

"Oh baby, we started the adoption as soon as we carried you into the precinct for the first time. Social services put you in a group home while the paperwork was being processed and we visited you every day until we were allowed to bring you home. We were working to find relatives, yes, but we started the paperwork before we knew what the result would be."

Her daughter relaxes against her. "You really just saw me and wanted me?"

Kate's fingers slide through her hair. "Uh huh. I was so nervous about having kids, which is funny now since there are four of you, but I took one look at you and I knew we could do it. I knew we'd give you a good life."

"That's… I didn't expect that."

"Yeah?" Beckett rubs the base of her neck. "What were you expecting?"

"That you felt bad or like you should because Daddy had been involved."

"Nope," she hums. "I saw your little cheeks and your big eyes and I couldn't let you go and neither could Daddy."

Her lips curl against Samara's forehead. "The day we brought you home, it felt poetic. Like getting the ultimate justice for the both of you."

The girl exhales shakily. "Thanks, Momma."

"For what?"

"Making me feel better."

Pulling her closer, Kate hums. "I just wish you'd told me sooner. I could've picked you up the next day in full gear; vest, gun, the works. Show that jerk who's boss."

Sam giggles into her shoulder.

"I know it's hard sometimes, honey, but as long as you know what you mean to us, people like that can't hurt you."

Samara curls closer, nodding thoughtfully.

"You shaped this family, you know. Your name led to Simon's name, same thing with 'Lia and Aiden. All places, all special, but unique like the four of you."

"Really?" Blue-grey eyes lift to hers.

"Uh huh. I spent hours googling when I was pregnant, especially with Simon. Half the time you were asleep on my belly when I looked."

The girl grins, dipping her head against her mother's shoulder again. "Thanks."

"What else do you have for me? Other questions?"

"Is that why you're not wearing a dress in the pictures?"

"The pictures Grampa took?"

"Uh huh. That was your wedding, right? A second wedding?"

"Yeah it was. A first wedding, really. The other one didn't happen. I actually had two dresses, though. One was a gift from an old boss of mine, the other one was your grandma's – my mom's."

"Can I see them? You said one got messed up, what about the other one?"

Patting the girl's hip, she jerks her chin toward the bookshelf walls to the office. "Go get the photo album, I'll show you and I'll tell you what happened."

Samara slides off the couch, leaving her blanket behind for the first time since Kate ushered her downstairs earlier that morning.

About a year after they were married, Castle convinced her to add the other photos to the album her dad and Alexis had made for them. A much as it hurt to remember the first wedding, the one that wasn't, her husband had insisted it was integral to their story. He swore it showed the obstacles they'd overcome in order to make it to their truly perfect day. She rarely looked at the few pictures they had, preferring to stay focused on the peace and happiness her father had captured on her actual wedding day. But for her sweet child, she would relive that day in May.

Sam returns holding the wedding album against her chest like it's something precious. When she thinks about it, Kate's not sure any of the kids have seen the full album. The pictures they've displayed around the loft usually get the most attention.

"Alright," she hums once they're settled. "So this was the first dress. It's a little different than what I usually wear, but I had worked as a model for a bit and –"

"Whoa, really? You modeled?" Awe colors her daughter's voice and she has to smother a smile. She sounds just like Castle.

"For a summer. I was saving up for my motorcycle. Anyway, while your dad and I were engaged, we had a case with my former boss, and she gave me this dress. I took the picture to show Lanie, but otherwise I kept it hidden from your dad because I wanted it to be a surprise."

"It's gorgeous. Was this the one that got ruined?"

"Mhmm."

"What happened to it?"

"Do you remember the time Aiden tossed a roll of toilet paper and three of his cars down the toilet?"

Samara's face crinkles. "Oh, ew."

"Uh huh, a pipe exploded in my old apartment and it was the casualty. I was so upset and frustrated with everything at that point that it took one of your dad's famous pep talks to make me feel even a little bit better."

"He's good at those," the girl murmurs, turning her face into Kate's shoulder as if to say she is, too.

"Yeah he is. He and my mom are probably the only people I've ever known who could be that comforting."

She clears her throat quickly. "So after that dress was ruined, Lanie and your dad talked to Grampa and he brought me your grandma's dress." She points to it for emphasis.

"That's… oh wow. That's pretty. That's so pretty."

"Yeah it is."

Sam looks up from tracing a finger over her features. "Why didn't you wear this one?"

Brushing her hair gently, Beckett takes a moment to gather her thoughts. "I was called to the scene of the accident when your dad was taken. All I could think about was getting to him and I went running down a hill. My dress ended up dirty and ripped, but I didn't even notice until later on. I was just so focused on finding him. Gram and Daddy had it cleaned and fixed for me a few months later. It's in the closet upstairs, good as new, waiting for you or Elia if you want it."

Samara presses closer. "That must've been so scary."

"It was. It was hard, too. And after Dad was found, things were rough at first –"

"Did you break up?" She lifts worried eyes to hers.

"Never, baby. He was stuck with me." Kate taps her daughter's nose. "But it was hard to get back to normal. We didn't want to rush or push it, so we waited to get married. And then one day, Dad hit his head and swore he went to some alternate universe where he and I had never met. He said we were reasonably successful but miserable without each other, and an hour after he woke up from that, he asked me to marry him right then."

"Oh, Daddy."

"Yeah," she chuffs, kissing her kid's forehead. "But it was romantic. And the impulsiveness told me we'd made it back to where we needed to be and that it was the right time. So we called Alexis, Gram, and Grampa, told them what was going on, and had them meet us in the Hamptons. I went shopping with the girls while Dad handled all of the paperwork and stuff, and when I saw this," Kate pauses, pointing to the pants suit, "it just felt perfect. It was fresh, it was new, it was the perfect do-over we deserved. So I bought it and a new pair of shoes, and I married Daddy in it."

Samara wows.

"So that's why I'm not wearing a dress."

"Does Simon know? Or 'Lia and Aiden?"

Beckett shakes her head gently. "Nope. Just you. You're the only one who knows the story."

She beams. "And the story's always important."

Brushing her daughter's hair back, she smiles. "Just like your father. When the others are old enough, if they ask, you can be the one to tell them about the dresses."

"Really?"

"Uh huh. You and your father are the storytellers in the family."

She might not be the parent who always knows the right thing to say, but this time her words were the right ones. The last of the tension and worry drains from her child's face and the same playful sweetness she's always had takes over.

"Thanks, Mom. Can I ask one more question?"

"Just one? I've been bracing myself for another ten," she teases softly.

"No, that's Aiden. And Dad."

"Definitely Dad. Okay, shoot."

"Can I see more pictures of you and Dad? Maybe Grandma, too?"

She doesn't look at pictures of Johanna much either, but it Samara wants to see her mom? They'll see her mom.

"Sure, we can do that. I'll refill the coffee, you get the rest of the photo albums. They're on the –"

"Bottom shelf in Dad's office, I know." She grins. "Back in a sec."

That's where Castle finds them two hours later. They're curled up under the blanket, heads pressed together, fingers slipping over the photo album pages. He doesn't say a word, he simply slides beside Samara, bear hugging her, joining them as they explore memories of a damn good life.