IF ONLY
A/N: So, I was asked by to write a one shot by PLLFan865 in which Nadia is alive. This will still include a bit of Linstead but I can't not write them in when I write any story, it's just physically not possible for me! And yes, I did use Stella's last name as the victim's because I couldn't think of one :P I hope you enjoy it!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything from Chicago P.D no matter how much I wish I did.
Jay held onto Erin as she sobbed in his arms. They had found another body. Yates had confessed to having a 'sacred place' in which he kept the bodies. They had wondered through the woods for hours before they found her.
He held her tight as she cried into his chest, but not in pain, or grief, or sadness.
It was relief.
The girl they had found, wasn't Nadia.
There was still hope.
Jay looked at the girl, who they had identified as Jessica Maeve. Yates must have picked her up on his way from Chicago. The only question now was where is Nadia? They knew she was somewhere around here. Yates had all but admitted it in Rollins psychoanalysis interrogation. Jay let Erin move away from him, still holding onto her forearms.
"You ok?" He questioned, moving one hand up to her cheek feeling her relax at his touch.
"I will be when we find her" she replied, but he could already see the light in her eyes, the brightness of her face, how her entire body stood up, more aware. She had more hope now.
She looked up and gave him a small smile, which he gladly returned as he wiped the last few tears from her eyres.
Their moment was broken as Antonio ran up to them "GUYS! GET OVER HERE!" His tone of voice cause Erin and Jay to pick up their pace as they ran to follow him further into the woods.
They had walked about 20 kilometres before they reached it. A run-down little shed, holes in the roof, one of the windows broken. And that's when Erin saw her.
Nadia.
Wrapped up in a blanket, clutching onto Antonio as he held her tight. Nadia let go of Antonio when she saw Erin and ran towards her friend.
She launched into Erin's arms and cried as Erin hugged her, clutching onto her for dear life.
"I'm so sorry" Erin whispered.
"It's not your fault" Nadia replied "I knew you'd find me, I told him you'd find me"
Erin smiled as she felt tears prick her eyes. She looked up at Jay as she felt his hand touch her back, his eyes were glistening with unshed tears.
Erin cried into Nadia's shoulder, letting the stress and worry of the day melt away as she held her friend in her arms "I love you Nads, I'd never give up looking for you"
Nadia chuckled softly at the statement "I know. I love you too Er" she replied.
They let go of each other, and Nadia stepped into jay's arms
"I knew you'd miss me Detective" She chuckled into his chest
"Next time Nads, I'm getting the cake" He replied as he smiled down at the young girl
He reached out one of his arms to allow Erin to join in their hug.
The three person hug soon grew as Antonio, Voight, Olivia, Rollins and Amaro all wrapped their arms around the trio.
….
Erin sat on her couch, resisting the temptation of sleep. Nadia lay on the couch, her head resting in Erin's lap as she gently stroked her fingers through the girl's hair. She couldn't believe she was back in Chicago, in her home, with Nadia, alive.
She looked down at the girl and smiled. She had slowly become her best friends, her sister. She didn't know what she'd have done if it had been her in that shallow grave on the beach. She was just thankful they made it in time to save Nadia.
Yates was found guilty of the rapes and murder of Jessica Maeve. He had stupidly decided to represent himself, which bit him in the ass when he saw the pictures of Jessica in the morgue, and lost it when questioning the doctor who was assigned to Jessica. He was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.
Erin was broken out of her thoughts at the gentle knock on the door. She gently lifted Nadia's head off her lap and placed her back on the couch, draping the blanket from the back of the couch over her small body and making her way to the door.
She opened the door in time to see her partner, holding a bag of Take out in one hand, and his other hand was reaching up to insert a key into her door. She simply raised an eyebrow and smirked at Jay
"Um..I…You weren't answering the door, so I thought you might be asleep. I wasn't going to use the key but I didn't really feel like driving back to my house, plus..I thought…you might need me" He stammered through his explanation, to which Erin couldn't help but giggle.
She stepped to the side and opened the door further inviting him in, but he just stood there staring at her.
"Halstead" She spoke, thinking he wasn't listening
"We almost lost her today" He said looking into her eyes
Erin nodded her head solemnly "I know"
"We almost lost her, and we almost lost you" He continued "I don't think I could handle it if I lost both of you. She's like family to me an you…well, you know how much you mean to me"
Erin stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind her as Jay put down the items in his hands. Where was he going with this?
"Jay, what's-"
"I love you" He interrupted "And I tried. I tried not to be, but I can't, and it sucks, because I know that there's Voight, and I know we weren't even at that stage but, I love you. And I needed you to know" he took a deep breath as he stepped closer to her "I almost lost you today. Had we lost Nadia, you would've gone down the rabbit hole and we both know it. I would've lost both of you, and I don't think I could live with that. I already lost you once and I can't lose you again" He spoke as he took her hand.
She placed her free hand against his cheek as she whispered "You didn't lose me. I was always here, I just…I was scared. I didn't want Voight to think anything was still going on , but it doesn't matter anymore. I refuse to keep missing out on the things that are right in front of me"
She leaned in and kissed him, running her hands through his hair as his hands went to her waist and back, running up and down her shirt. They broke apart, foreheads resting against each-others, taking in large gulps of air.
"I love you too" she smiled as she kissed him quickly once more. He smiled against her lips as he held her flush against him. He pulled back and bent down to grab the bag of food
"I got your favourite, come on" He led them back inside the apartment and Erin sat down with her at the kitchen bench, while Jay moved around the kitchen, collecting plates, utensils and glasses.
Erin smirked "You certainly know your way around my kitchen Mr. Halstead"
Jay smiled back at her "Would you rather I knew my way around some other girl's kitchen?" He retorted.
Erin glared at him "No, thank you"
Jay chuckled and walked around the bench and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her forehead "You're the only one whose kitchen I want to know my way around, you're my girl Erin Lindsay. Even if no one else knows it"
Erin looked up at him as she wrapped her arms around his neck "Well" she draw out "what if, everyone did know?"
"everyone?" Jay asked, addressing the underlying question of including Voight?
She smiled back at him "Everyone. I'm your girl Jay Halstead, and I don't care who knows it" he leaned in to kiss her but were stopped short
"Aww how cute" Nadia joked as she stepped into the kitchen. Jay groaned into Erin's shoulder as she chuckled "Sorry nads, did we wake you?" She asked
"nah, I didn't really feel like sleeping" she replied
"Well in that case, I have something for you" Erin said as she reached in their fruit bowl – which was really a mail holder – and plucked out a letter for her "This was sent yesterday, from the Police Commission"
Nadia looked at them both nervously as she took the letter from Erin "I don't know If I want to open it. What if they reject me?" She asked
"They'd be making the biggest mistake of their lives" Jay answered. Nadia smiled and, taking a deep breath, opened the letter and read through it. She loked up with a broad smile on her face
"I got in!" she jumped up and down as Erin and Jay both engulfed her in a hug.
"Congrats Nadia" Jay spoke
"What he said" Erin laughed as they broke from their embrace "Oh, we have to celebrate!"
"Well, I didn't cancel you birthday party so we can just do it then" Nadia smiled sweetly as Erin groaned
"Nadia…I really don't feel like celebrating my birthday after everything that's happened"
"And why not?" nadia argued "after everything that's happened, why not celebrate? Your birthday, me not dying, getting to be cop. Erin, if there's one thing this all taught me it's that we should appreciate every moment, big or small. Please?" nadia said, putting slightly. Jay chuckled
"Come on Er, how can you say no?" he argued
Erin sighed "Fine, but nothing too big!"
Nadia smiled "Of course! Now, can we please eat? I'm starving!" she exclaimed as she grabbed a container of food. Erin chuckled as she sat down in between Jay and Nadia.
"I swear, she's more our kid then our colleague" she joked looking at Nadia, who was currently stuffing her face with food. Jay chuckled as he put an arm around Erin.
He smiled as he watched Nadia and Erin converse, discussing her being a Chicago police officer of the 21st district. He knew that wherever Erin went, so did Nadia and vice versa. They were a packaged deal, and he had no problem with that. Nadia and Erin were his girls, his family.
And he wouldn't have it any other way.
A/N: OK! So, that is the end of this one shot! Just over 1890 words! I hope you liked it, I really wish Nadia was still alive :( PLEASE LEAVE YOUR REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!
I'm so excited for the finale of CPD though! Please leave your thoughts on this in a review, I might consider doing a second or even third chapter of this about Linstead and Nadia, with Nadia's first day, and maybe her graduating the academy? I'm not entirely sure yet, but it's an idea :)
Maddie :)