A/N: This chapter took waaaay longer to finish and get out than I'd originally anticipated! Thank you guys for being so patient with me! *hugs!* This chapter is mostly a lot of brotp moments, haha… Anywhos, hope ya'll enjoy!

A huge shout out and thanks to my sunshines who reviewed last chapter! ^_^ agirlworthfighting4, Angelina1993, xKnightmareu, Darkhope, & Guest! 3! Thank you, thank you, guys! I love ya'll! :)

What He Truly Wanted To Say

Chapter 3

It had been three days. Three days since Juvia had been brought back to the guild's infirmary. Three days since he, Natsu, and Lucy had managed to rescue her from them, and only just barely. Even now, the mere thought of those people who had hurt her so badly was enough to summon a snarl to his lips and cause his blood to pound in his ears.

If it hadn't have been for Natsu and Lucy's timely intervention – bursting into that room when they'd had, things definitely would have turned ugly for Juvia and himself. He'd been completely out of magic and was in no shape to fight on, and Juvia- well…

Vaguely aware of the door to the infirmary opening, Gray kept his eyes trained forward to the girl on the bed. He knew who it was long before she spoke – knew what it was that she wanted of him... His eyes narrowed, his lips sealing further into a stubborn line.

Soft footsteps approached.

"How's she doing...?" Lucy asked quietly, stopping at his side. Together, the two of them gazed down at the unconscious girl. Juvia's features, once so rosy and full of life, were the palest that Gray had ever seen them.

He cleared his throat, attempting to dislodge the lump that had formed. "Still the same," he managed to croak out, wincing when the sound of his own voice reached his ears. He knew he sounded terrible, and if the way he currently felt was any indication, he probably looked even worse. His eyes burned with fatigue, and other than very quick bites to eat at the main guild hall, the last three days and nights had been spent sitting in the chair by Juvia's bedside.

"Gray-" Lucy hesitated. She gazed down at the stony-faced ice mage helplessly, wishing that there was a way – any way – to help her friend. Her gaze shifted slightly over from him to the silent girl on the bed, and a new wave of sadness washed over her. To help both of them…

"You need rest, Gray," Lucy started gently, reaching out with a hand to lay it on Gray's shoulder. He tensed immediately at the contact, his shoulder going rigid. "I don't thin-"

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not! Just look at you-!"

"Lucy, I said I'm fine." The words were spoken through clenched teeth. "Can you just… drop it, please?"

"Natsu and I – we're worried about you, Gray…" Lucy persisted. "Everyone in the guild's worried ab-"

"Then let them!" Gray snapped, causing the blonde to flinch back at the raw anger in his voice. For the first time since she'd arrived in the infirmary, Gray fully turned to face her. His features were twisted in an anguished expression the likes of which Lucy had never seen on him before. He glared at her. "Don't you get it?!" he demanded, his voice harsh. "I'm the reason why Juvia's…" His teeth clamped together, his dark eyes snapping back to the sleeping blue-haired girl. "Why she's… If I hadn't have left that morning in the first place…" Guilt and regret warred for dominance in his tone, as his words trailed off into a whisper.

"Nobody in Fairy Tail blame you for what happened!" Lucy exclaimed, trying desperately to get through to Gray. She swallowed hard, tears starting to well up in her eyes. "And I'm sure Juvia doesn't blame you in the least bit either!" Noting Gray's jaw twitch at the mention of the water mage, and seeing the flash of pain that twisted his features even further, Lucy frowned, but forced herself to keep going. "But with the way things are currently going at this rate… you can't go on like this! This whole situation is already hard enough as it is… I know that, Gray – I was there. But you have hardly moved for almost three days straight now!" The blonde blew out a frustrated breath of air, when Gray still refused to meet her eyes or break his stubborn silence. "I understand what you're going through right now – we all do – but you've hardly ate or slept in all this time! Do you really think Juvia would like it to learn that the person she loves most in the world was neglecting himself because of her?! It would crush her, Gray!"

Silence immediately descended upon them, following Lucy's emotional outburst. Gray stared at Juvia's form on the bed, his face an unreadable mask. Finally, he sighed, his shoulders slumping forward a little, defeated by the truth and logic behind Lucy's words.

"You're right," he muttered, swiping a hand tiredly through his raven locks.

"You should go home, and get some rest," Lucy told him gently. Her tone immediately softened when she saw with relief that Gray was at least open to considering her words. "And get some food, too. She'll be alright – I promise. I'll take over watch from here."

"Thanks, Lucy…" Rising from his chair, Gray stood. Sharp pain shot through his limbs in protest at the sudden movement, and he winced. Maybe he should have at least moved around a bit more in the room the last couple of days…

His eyes lingered on Juvia's face for a moment more, before he forced himself to tear his gaze away from her.

I'll come back for you. I promise… Gray vowed silently, trying desperately to push his thoughts to the blue-haired water mage. But in the meantime, you've gotta hang in there, Juvia… You've gotta wake up soon. Please… I can't-

"Let me know if there's a change to her condition, however small," he asked of Lucy quietly, as he paused in front of her. "I won't be gone long, regardless."

"Yes. Of course," the blonde reassured him, with a smile. "I promise. You'll be the first to know."

"And…" He drew in a breath. "Thanks, Lucy. For y'know, back there… I might've gotten in a little over my head – I honestly hadn't realized how bad the situation really was inside that damn building. If you and Natsu hadn't have come in when you did…"

"Hey- don't mention it," Lucy stopped him. She shook her head, smiling warmly at him. "You would've done the same for any of us, right? Besides, you know we couldn't have let you go in there completely by yourself – and honestly, did you really expect us to? We're friends, Gray – comrades to the end, right? We stick together, no matter what." This earned her a faint smirk from the ice mage, and at the sight, Lucy's own smile brightened. It was nice to see Gray smile again. Ever since they'd arrived back at the guild three days prior, with an unconscious Juvia, Gray had all but locked himself in his own personal bubble of self-loathing, worry, and guilt. That mild smirk just now – it hadn't been much, but it was the first flicker he'd shown in days of an emotion that resembled neither misery nor anger, and for that alone, Lucy was happy for her old friend.

"Yeah," Gray agreed with a thoughtful nod. "I guess."

Giving Lucy a small, tired – but deeply grateful – smile, and throwing one last glance Juvia's way, he left the infirmary. Closing the door as quietly as he could behind him, he leaned back against the cool surface of the wood, and closed his eyes. He hadn't allowed himself to think about anything the last couple of days – had numbed his emotions and forced them in check, for the sake of staying strong for Juvia. But now, these same emotions that he had attempted to keep bottled up were out for blood – his blood. They crashed against him like angry waves, threatening to drown him within its murky depth. Drawing in a shaky breath, he held it for as long as he could, before he slowly exhaled. No. He couldn't afford to lose himself to despair. Not yet. This was far from over. Juvia was strong – one of the strongest people Gray had ever met. If there was anyone who could come back from this, she could…

Juvia would be okay… Gray's eyes tightened, as he attempted to once again reassure himself of this fact. She has to be…

Darkness.

It was all around her. Like a phantom lover determined to drag her down into its bottomless depth, it clung to her form – she was slipping away… drowning in the void…

~I'll come back for you… I promise…~

Who was that…? The voice sounded faint, and muddled, and so very, very far away… It echoed and warped through the dark space, making it difficult to determine where exactly it was coming from.

~You've gotta wake up soon… Please… I can't-…~

That voice… – a male's, she determined – sounded so sad… so broken. Why? Her subconscious yearned to understand that sadness. Did he lose someone he cared about? For only the heartbreak of a loss as deep as Death could warrant such sorrow… She instinctively reached out into the empty void, longing to connect with the person behind that voice…

~Juvia…?~

She froze. Another voice? And there was that name again… Someone else – a female this time, by the sound of it – was calling that name now with such desperation…. Why…?

… … … …

"Juvia… Please – you've gotta wake up…!" Lucy sank down into the vacant chair that Gray had left behind. Tears pooled in her brown eyes, as she reached forward to clasp Juvia's hands in her own. Giving them a small, supportive squeeze, the blonde carefully pulled the chair closer to the bed, so as to not awake the still-sleeping water mage. Staring down at Juvia's pale features, her tears finally slipped free. They trickled down her cheeks, and Lucy raised a hand to swipe at her eyes.

"You- You need to come back from this… We're all right here, waiting for you, okay? You can't-" Lucy's voice broke then, a sob escaping her form. Drawing in a shuddering breath, she sniffed, her mouth twisting into a sad smile as she gazed down at Juvia through tear-blurred vision. "Gray's waiting for you to come back to us… He- He may not say it much, but he really does care a lot about you – for you. Please-!"

… … … …

Gray…? She did not recognize that name, and yet- something about the name struck her as oddly familiar… Just like before, she couldn't place a face to this voice either… But it, too, held a warm familiarity that she found to be oddly comforting…

The void swirled around her, shifting more turbulently now in response to her increased inner desire to connect with these strange voices...

… … … …

The door to the main guildhall burst open with a bang, revealing a breathless Lucy. She paused a moment to catch her breath at the doorframe, before frantic brown eyes rose to meet those of startled and concerned guild mates'.

"Lucy!" Natsu and Erza were immediately by the blonde's side. At her friends' expressions of concern, her brows knotted.

"What is it? What's the matter?" Natsu asked quietly, his own dark eyes carefully studying Lucy's face. "Luce?"

"Lucy?" Erza's voice, too, held concern, as she set one supportive hand on Lucy's shoulder. "What is it? How's Juvia doing?"

"I-" Lucy hesitated. She glanced between her friends for a moment, before her eyes ticked down to the ground, and she sighed. "I think Gray needs to be here for this. Guys-" she raised her eyes to meet Natsu's and Erza's once more. "We have a big, big problem…"

His friends' words echoed in his mind, as he raced for the guildhall from his apartment in the city. He had barely made it back home, and closed his eyes for a quick nap, when the communication lacrima on his desk had activated. His exhaustion was immediately driven from his thoughts, as Lucy's, Natsu's, and Erza's faces materialized inside the magical sphere globe.

"Gray!" Erza had barked, her tone as no-nonsense as ever. "Get back to the guild immediately!"

"Juvia's up, man!" Natsu shoved his face into the limited space within the globe.

"She's-" His eyes widened for the briefest of moments, before he leapt up from the bed and was throwing on a shirt and tugging on pants. "I'll be right there!" he had yelled at the lacrima, before cutting off communication and bolting from his apartment.

Now, as he raced through the streets of Magnolia, ignoring the curious looks of the passersby that flashed before his eyes, only one singular thought occupied his entire being. His eyes narrowed, as he ran.

~Juvia. Wait for me.~

"J-Juvia…?" The name slipped from his lips in a whisper, as he stared across the room, to where she sat – surrounded by what seemed like the entire guild – on the bed. Gray could hardly see her, hidden as she was behind a veil of people. But that hardly mattered to him. She was up. She was okay.

Before he even became conscious of his actions, his feet were carrying him forward, towards the girl in the bed. Erza was the first to glance up and see him approach. Her eyes widened for the briefest of moments, as she caught his gaze in her own. Something in the depth of those eyes gave Gray pause, and he stopped in his tracks, a deep feeling of dread washing over him. Something wasn't right. Something was deeply wrong…

Breaking away from the others, Erza approached him. Gray observed her demeanor carefully,

"Gray…" The redhead greeted him upon reaching his side. Her voice was soft and soothing, but there was just something incredibly wrong about the way she wouldn't meet his eyes…

"Erza-" Gray stared at his close and long-time friend. Erza was always so straightforward – she rarely was one to beat around the bush like this… "Juvia- how is she?"

Silence.

"Erza…?" His breath hitched, as his frown deepened. What wasn't she telling him…?

"Gray- Before you go over there, there's something you should know. There's… a complication with her recovery. We don't really know what happened to Juvia while those sick bastards had her… but-"

"I don't understand- what are you saying?" Gray interrupted impatiently. He really didn't understand. What was with that somber expression that Erza wore? She should be happy- He was ecstatic that Juvia was finally awake- His gaze shifted to over Erza's shoulders, where it landed on the mass of mages crowding around Juvia's bedside. Now that the thought occurred to him, Gray suddenly was aware of the fact that despite there being ample reason to celebrate, his guild mates were being far too quiet…

Brow furrowing into the beginnings of his signature scowl, he pushed his way past Erza, his brisk strides carrying him swiftly towards the bed at the end of the room.

"Juvia!" He called. Upon his approach, the mages surrounding the bed shrunk back, some casting glances behind their shoulders at the ice mage. Was it just him, or were they giving him wary, apprehensive looks? Nevertheless, they parted, finally giving him access to reach the girl who was currently sitting up in the bed. Gray felt the corners of his lips tugging up into a grin, when he caught sight of the familiar wavy blue locks that tumbled down her back past her shoulders. His eyes instinctively focused in on her face, searching her features carefully for any lingering signs of her ordeal, but he couldn't seem to find any. He breathed out a small sigh of relief – a breath that he hadn't realized that he'd even been holding. Other than the fact that she was still a little pale, she was okay, against all odds. Juvia was still Juvia…

"Juvia…" Gray breathed. Finally reaching her side, his arms dropped to his sides, his hands reaching out to hers. "Hey. You really had me – us – worried there for a sec…" he told her, with a hollow chuckle – the humor not at all reaching his eyes. A moment of silence passed between them, during which his head tipped forward, his bangs casting a dark shadow across his eyes. "…Baka…" he finally muttered, his grip subconsciously tightening on her hands. "Don't ever do that again…"

He expected to see her bright eyes and lit-up expression – hear her loving squeal of "Gray-sama~!" at his words… swoon at the fact that his hands were gripping hers in a tight hold, their fingers intertwined… Or at the very least see her gaze drop in timid remorse at his light reprimand.

What he most certainly hadn't expected was her eyes rising to meet his, her dark blue eyes fixing themselves to his face with an air of shy curiosity, as she studied him.

"Oh- erm… h-hello…" she squeaked, color immediately flooding her cheeks. Her gaze dropped to blink down at their joined hands, and she froze, her eyes growing to impossibly large proportions.

Wild panic immediately flashed in her huge, awestruck eyes, as she promptly screeched out a shrill "Eeeeep!" and yanked her hand away from his. Her entire face erupting into crimson fire, she dove under the safety of the covers, the only thing exposed of hers being her eyes, as they peeked out at him shyly from underneath the tangled blanket.

"What the-?!" Gray's eyebrows shot up in surprise at Juvia's reaction to him. He stared at her, perplexed. "Uh… Juvia…?"

An embarrassed peep came from the girl under the covers. "You- You held my hand…" The voice sounded faint, and slightly muffled, and so, so flustered. "Even though I don't know who you are… C-Could it be…? Stranger love…?!"

"O-Oi! What?!" Gray blinked, his brows knotting into a perplexed frown as he stared at Juvia. He couldn't believe what he was hearing – stranger… love…? Impossible – She couldn't possibly mean…

"What are you- What is she talking about?" He hissed to Erza, who had rejoined him at his side. Her eyes narrowed, and she sighed.

"I was afraid of this…" she murmured, her tone grim.

"Afraid of what?!" Gray demanded. "What the hell's going on here? Why's Juv-?"

"She doesn't remember," Erza's voice was low, as she cut across his questions. "Anything, at all…"

"What do you mean she doesn't remem-?" Gray gaped at her incredulously, his dark eyes ticking over to the girl still peeking out at him from under the blankets.

"Somehow, Juvia's memories of… us – of Fairy Tail – are gone, completely…" Erza's brows furrowed. "She has no recollection at all of who she is – her past – anything. When she woke up, she'd had no idea of who Lucy was… nor any of us when we arrived. But, I'd hoped that upon seeing you, she would-"

The sound of rustling sheets caused both Gray and Erza to abruptly cut off their somewhat-hushed conversation, both mages snapping their attention to Juvia. They found that she had re-emerged from hiding; her previous embarrassed and flustered state was now replaced by an expression of mingled shock, confusion, surprise, and concern, as she listened to their words.

"Juvia…?" Gray cautiously approached her once more. Lowering himself down to one knee, so that he was on eye-level with her, he reached forward slowly to once again take her hand in his. She didn't pull away this time, but merely stared at their hands in silence. "Do- Do you remember me? Do you remember any of us? Of- of this?" With his free hand, he gestured to around them.

There was a long silence following his words, during which time everyone waited with baited breaths. Juvia's lip began to quiver, and tears pooled in her eyes. Her hands trembled, and Gray tightened his grip on them.

"No…" she whispered at last, frustration and helplessness tinting her words. The bitter tears spilt over, trickling down her cheeks, and splashing onto the blanket. "I can't- I don't remember anything… and yet, I feel like I should… like you guys are the one and only memory that truly matters, and I can't even-" The wracking sobs overtook her then, and she drew both knees up to her chest and buried her face in them. Her body shook between sharp gasps of breaths, choking sobs, and erratic hiccups.

Feeling a sharp nudge at his side, Gray glanced up to find Erza giving him a pointed stare, as she inclined her head slightly over towards the sobbing girl, and mouthed the words "Comfort her!"

He scowled up at her, feeling his cheeks grow warm. Returning his gaze back to the blue-haired girl in front of him, he reached up with a hand to lay it gently on her trembling shoulder. His fingers ran soothingly up and down her back, as his face and neck grew increasingly warmer, and the blush creeping steadily up his face staining his cheeks and ear tip a vivid shade of scarlet.

"H-Hey…" Gray began uncomfortably – he really was no good at this. Before he could continue on, Juvia suddenly threw her arms around his neck with a loud wail, nearly toppling them both to the floor. His eyes widened, his breath hitched, and he felt his heart hammering erratically in his ribcage, by the sudden embrace.

"I'm s-sorry…" she murmured, burying her face into his chest. He awkwardly patted her on the back. It wasn't until he felt her tear-stained cheeks resting against his bare chest, and felt skin-to-skin contact, that Gray visibly paled – when had he even taken off his shirt?! – and immediately panicked by pure instinct. Hastily grabbing Juvia by the shoulders, he pushed her back away from him to a fairly safe distance. The girl blinked at him; he turned his gaze away from her with a slight frown. Standing above the two, the moment was not lost on Erza, who cracked a smile.

"We'll leave you two alone to talk," she announced, and Gray could have sworn he heard a pleased smirk in her tone. She herded the rest of their guild mates out of the infirmary, despite scattered protests. When the door shut with a soft click behind her, the room suddenly fell into immediate silence.

"Juvia…" Gray began, uncertain of how to continue. Where could he even begin…? Before he had a chance to say anything further, however, Juvia spoke up.

"Are- Are you someone important to me…?" The question came out as a whispered murmur. She lowered her gaze, faintly frowning down at her interlocked hands on her lap, before lifting her eyes to him once more, searching his expression carefully. Finally, she sighed, and raised her hands to lock them on either side of her elbows, pulling her legs up to her chest as she did so and rested her chin on her knees. "I can't explain it… But I- I can't shake the feeling that I know you…" A soft, shy smile appeared on Juvia's lips. "I- I'm sorry if I startled you earlier," she apologized, a distinct blush rising in her cheeks. "It's just… when you took my hands… your presence felt so warm… so familiar…"

"Er… it's okay," Gray muttered, an embarrassed blush of his own rising. He raised one hand to scratch absently at the back of his neck, waiting for the heat to die down. Jeez… he had probably blushed more in the last hour than he'd ever had in his entire life… He paused to consider Juvia's question. "…Yeah," he replied quietly, expelling a soft sigh. He offered her a crooked grin. "You could definitely say that."

Juvia's smile grew bigger at his words. "Good," she replied. "I'm glad…" She grew quiet for a moment, before her gaze rose once more to shyly meet his.

"So… My name is… Juvia?" she asked, with an air of curiosity. She repeated the name to herself silently again a few more times, testing the strange, unfamiliar sound of it against her tongue.

Gray nodded. "Yeah," he told her quietly. "Your name is Juvia Lockser. You-" He swallowed hard, as flashes of her former self came unbidden to him.

You were strong, and kind, and my biggest fan…

"You were – are – a water mage of Fairy Tail. You loved this guild – loved everyone in it – more than anything in the world. And… everybody loved you back."

You were… beautiful, Juvia. I'm sorry I never told you before…

"You were always there to help if anyone needed it – always there with a smile. You loved to bake and- and hug, and-"

Damn it…! It's no good-

Gray gritted his teeth, and quickly turned away from Juvia, as he desperately tried to control the emotions that bubbled dangerously close to the surface. He couldn't- He won't burden her further with his weakness… He prayed to the heavens that she hadn't seen the tears… He felt a small, soft hand tentatively touching his, and instinctively, he flinched away, only for her to slightly tighten her grip.

"I'm fine," Gray told her quickly, his bangs casting a shadow over his eyes. He could feel her concerned gaze on him, but he made no move to meet her eyes. "Sorry, Juvia- I'm fine. It's ju-"

"I'm sorry…"

"Wh… What?" The unexpected apology caught him completely by surprise, and in spite of himself, his eyes raised to stare at her.

"I am… sorry," Juvia repeated, her eyes downcast. "For being the cause of your pain… For being the cause of everyone's pain… The same look that's in your eyes now- I saw in the eyes of the girl with the blonde hair when I awoke… It's the same look that I saw in the eyes of the girl with the red hair, who you were talking to earlier…"

"You're not the cause of this-" Gray growled fiercely, laying a hand firmly on her shoulder. "Okay? Listen to me-"

"But-!"

"Listen to me, Juvia! The people who did this to you, they're the ones responsible. And we will get to the bottom of what's going on – okay? Juvia- look at me!" Reluctantly, Juvia raised her eyes to meet his, and Gray searched them carefully. "Okay? I swear we will…"

Still not looking quite convinced, Juvia nevertheless nodded silently. Gray expelled a soft sigh.

"I don't want you worrying about this," he told her. "We'll take care of it. You just- just rest, and concentrate on getting better. You've been through a lot."

He made to move away, but was surprised when he felt her fingers close lightly around his wrist.

"Stay with me…" Juvia whispered. "Just- just for a little while longer…"

Something in the depth of Gray's eyes tightened painfully at her words, and his brows knotted, but he obliged her request with a ghost of a smile. Spending just a little bit more time with her couldn't hurt, he supposed…

Before he knew it, the next couple of hours flew by, the time spent between the two talking about the little things. Gray tried to keep the conversation between them as light as he could; he told her about their friends, about Fairy Tail, and all the adventures of the rambunctious guild – and she listened in awe-like wonder, laughing in all the right places, and asking the occasional question. It wasn't until the room darkened, and the shadows grew longer and longer, that Gray's eyes flickered to the window in surprise. The sun was starting to set.

"I'd, uh… I'd better go, and let you get some rest," he told her, rising to his feet. Juvia's expression fell slightly, but she nodded, giving him a smile.

"I understand," she told him. "I will…" she fidgeted slightly, "see you again, soon?"

The hopeful note in her voice tore at Gray, and he nodded silently.

"Yeah, you will," he promised. "I'll be back tomorrow. I don't have anything planned, and I'll spend as much time with you as you want me to. Well… get some rest…" He turned to leave, but paused, glancing back at her. "Good night, Juvia," he murmured.

A faint smile tipped at the corners of her lips, her expression turning dreamy at the tender way that he said that name. She glanced up at him, only to find that he was already halfway to the door.

"W-Wait!" She called out to him, raising an arm towards him, desperate to stop him from leaving before she had her answer. "You- You know who I am… Juvia… But I still don't know your name…"

He paused in his steps, his back turned to her for a long moment. When he finally turned to face her, he smiled, although – Juvia noted with a jolt – it was the saddest smile she had ever seen.

"Gray," he answered her quietly. "My name is Gray Fullbuster."

"Gray Fullbuster…" Juvia repeated firmly, as if determined to committing that name to memory. A soft smile graced her smooth features, as she raised her eyes to shyly meet his. "Tomorrow, then," she agreed, her cheeks pink. "Good night… Gray."

A/N: End of Part III! Feel free to review if you'd like – or follow, or favorite, or whatever – I love any kind of feedback! Constructive Criticism is very much welcome and appreciated, if you feel the need to give it, as it's helpful in helping me grow to be a better writer! Part IV's coming up next, and it's gonna be one hell of a ride, haha, so stay tuned! :)