I am not allowed to put Gordon's new private number on a helium balloons (he changed it for a reason, you should know that)

Everyone kept saying Selina should start doing something nice for others instead of pulling antics, right? Well, since it's today her fifth year anniversary of this story, she decided to do something nice for once.

Not really though…

Selina smirked to herself when she released a handful of helium balloons with Jim Gordon's new private phone number. It was about time the guy started dating again, according to her.

The next day…

Jim Gordon was tying his shoes to head to work when suddenly his private phone buzzed. Gordon snatched his phone to answer it. Immediately a woman's voice started to so dramatically into his ear.

"Jimmy, is this really you?! I can't believe it! This must be fate!"

Gordon quirked his eyebrow before asking; "Who is this?"

"What do you mean, who is this?!" the woman screamed in utter rage. "How dare you to not recognize my voice?! How dare you to recognize the voice of the woman who gave birth to your daughter—

Barbara's voice was cut off with a soft beep, indicating Gordon was being called by someone else. Without as much of giving the ranting woman a heads up, Gordon switched lines. However, after saying his name he immediately regretted it.

"Jim, I can't believe this is you! This must be fate and—

"Hold up, who are you?"

The second woman also started to scream in rage; "WTF, how can you not recognize my voice? I know we only had sex once, but it was good sex! I mean, at least good enough for you to recognize my voice!"

"Valerie Vale?"

"Yes!" the woman screamed then kept ranting on and on, on how much she had missed him and how many times she had cried herself to sleep ever since she had left Gotham. "And now, on my first day being back in Gotham, a balloon with your phone number flies right into my hotel room window. This must be fate!"

"Yo Jimbo! There are a bunch of balloons with your phone number flying around Gotham!" Bullock's voice laughed as he walked into the study, holding one of the said balloons.

Gordon hung up on both exes then barked at Bullock; "That is outrageous, who would do something like that?! We have to collect them all, NOW!"

"Chill, I still need my coffee," Bullock commented then plopped onto the couch and said; "Beside, who knew you were such a climate freak."

Gordon shot invisible lasers with his eyes at Bullock then snapped, angrily; "I am not a climate freak, you hear me?! I just want to collect them all before all my exes calls, or even totally random people for that matter!"

Suddenly Jim's phone buzzed again, for a third time. He quickly tossed it to Bullock and said; "Here, you answer it!"

The lackadaisical cop, who still needed his morning coffee, rolled his eyes majorly but answered the phone anyway. As soon as Gordon heard Lee's voice, he snatched the phone back and sobbed happily; "Lee, is this you?! I can't believe it, this must be fate and—

"What do you mean, fate?" Lee Thompkins asked

Feeling a miserable blanket being dropped on top of him, Gordon cried internally; "Wait, you didn't got this number from a random balloon suddenly showing up out of nowhere?"

"Yeah, but I didn't expect it to be yours!" Lee screamed infuriated. "My Jack was bicycling down the streets when he was suddenly hit by a balloon and fell! I called the number to find out who is responsible for the balloons and have to send the psychiatrist bill to!"

Jim was baffled. "Lee, you can't do that! I even didn't release those things. Besides, why he needs a psychiatrist after being hit by a balloon? You are a doctor yourself for crying out loud. I am pretty sure it's not that bad."

"It is bad, Gordon! I only diagnosed him with a small bump and a minor concussion but, it seems worse than that! He's in the bathroom right now practicing his most evil laugh in front of the bathroom mirror!"

Jim sighed; "Lee, he's always been like that, and you know it."

"Yeah I do, but now I can finally blame someone for it, so you better pay up, Gordon!"

And with that, Lee hung up and Gordon flopped face down onto the couch and started to sob miserably; "Why…? Why is my love-life so complicated…?"

Bullock couldn't help but grin; "I will tell you why, Jimbo, but not before I had my first morning coffee. You and everyone else knows I need it."

I am not allowed to hand out free donuts inside the GCPD

Selina dashed inside the GCPD wearing a party hat then cried gleeful to get everyone's attention; "Today is this story's fifth year anniversary. After all the antics I did to you, I decided to start doing good things, starting with handing out free donuts inside my local police station, which is the GCPD."

"Did you put mayo in them?" Bullock grumbled suspicious.

Selina looked as if she was hurt. "Whaat? Didn't you hear what I just said? I decided to quit with my antics. Five years is enough, okay?"

Bullock sighed. "I couldn't agree with you more, however, it's normal to be still suspicious, you know. It's not like people will suddenly forget about all the antics you have done over those five years."

Selina frowned confused; "They won't?" After thinking about Bullock's words for a long time, she finally smiled; "Thanks Bullock, you opened my eyes. Here, an extra donut for you. Enjoy."

Bullock took the two free donuts then watched Selina skip out the door, overwhelmed with a strong feeling of proudness. He opened her eyes. No one, not even Alfred ever succeeded over the course of five years. He was sooo going to rub it in his face after work.

Suddenly, everyone around Bullock started to gag loudly after they had taken a bite from their donut. Turned out Selina indeed hadn't used mayo, but mustard and vinegar instead.

I am not allowed to ask Hatter to hypnotize everyone and make them forget all the things I did to them for the past five years

For the first time in months, Hatter had a visitor but, why did it have to be Selina? It's not like they were friends or anything.

"So let me get this straight…" Hatter started after Selina finished her long rant on why she visited him. "You want me to hypnotize everyone and make them forget all the things you did to them?"

"Yes."

"Well that doesn't make any sense. I mean, shouldn't you feel proud no one can EVER forget the things you've did? Do you realize that is every villains dream."

Selina sat back in her chair and sighed; "That's just it, I am not a villain."

Hatter scratched his head. "Wait, don't tell me you regret what you did."

"No."

Hatter was now even more confused. "Wait, then why—

"Can you just stop with the questions and just do it?" Selina grumbled then slumped her head into her hands; "It's just that I want to re-use some of the antics on Sean, but he will suspect it coming."

Hatter suddenly laughed; "Ha, you know that will backfire on you, right?"

"What? Why?"

"Think for a minute, if I hypnotize Sean and make him forget the antics you tried on him for the past five years, he will go straight back to the streets he came from. He won't even know who you are!"

"Crap, you are right," Selina scolded. "Stupid Bullock for giving me stupid ideas."

And with that, Selina stood up then kicked the chair and table in frustration before exiting the Asylum's visitor room.

I am not allowed to just collapse into the backyard for no reason

Selina climbed her way over the manor wall then strutted towards the mansion. Halfway she got bored and just collapsed where she was standing.

An hour later, Sean climbed his way over the manor wall then sauntered towards the large mansion and found Selina lying in the dirt.

The teen rolled his eyes and grumbled; "Selina, if you think I will carry you inside the manor, bridal style, you are terribly wrong!"

And with that, Sean sauntered away into the manor while Selina's cries was muffled by the dirt and grass she had buried her face in.

I am not allowed to put slippery socks on (it's dangerous for others)

Both Selina and Sean walked down the hallway, on their way to the study when suddenly Selina slipped on the floor due to wearing slippery socks. To stop herself from falling, Selina enveloped her arms around Sean's waist however, she still fell and pulled Sean's pants all the way down. Sean was infuriated.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?!"

Selina smirked; "Yes. However, the idea was that your underwear went down as well."

Seconds later, Alfred exited the kitchen and found Sean chasing Selina all the way through the large mansion.

I am not allowed to climb on the roof and shoot water balloons at people

Bruce and Sean returned home when suddenly, out of nowhere, water balloons started to fly around their ears. Bruce got even fully hit by several before he and Sean finally reached the front door and scrambled inside.

Alfred, who just exited the kitchen and saw the drenching wet clothes of his young master, he quirked an eyebrow. Before he even had the chance to ask questions, the door swung open again Bullock sprinted inside. He was dry but, the same thing couldn't be said for the newspaper in his hand.

"Why?!" Bullock grumbled. "Why she always have to start her antics before I even had my first morning coffee? All I wanted was to read the newspaper while eating my breakfast!"

Alfred couldn't help but blink confused when Bullock strutted past him into the kitchen where he proceeded reading a wet newspaper. Then the butler opened his mouth to ask questions but again, the door opened revealing a drenched Bruno Heller.

"That is it!" Bruno said as he took of his wet coat and dropped it in Alfred's arms. "I am here for only a few days and I am already done with her antics! How you all put up with her, for this long?!"

Alfred shrugged; "Patience."

Bullock laughed; "You'll get the hang of it, eventually. You learn to adapt and defend yourself with only a newspaper. Very effective, as you can see."

Sean nodded then chimed in; "Yeah, or you just learn to dodge or try to run faster. It always works for me."

Bruce smiled dreamily; "Loving her is what drives me to keep her here."

Everyone just stared at the young boy as if he was crazy then they shook their heads and sighed before start doing their own things again.

Happy anniversary to everyone who followed and read this story from the very beginning. To those who started to stumble on this story somewhere halfway, thank you as well for giving my story a chance. Thank you so much everyone for all the love and support you have given me over the past five years. And thank you so much for all the amazing ideas. Without you, this story wouldn't have reached this amount of rules.

Thank you to TEDOG for giving me his original character, also known as Sean Ornelas. This character become popular very fast, and I am still very surprised about that. TEDOG, you became my friend and I am so happy knowing you. I really enjoy talking with you and co-working on stories. You are an amazing person.

Thank you to TheRiddler-95 for giving me his original character, also known as Hien Mooney. Even though I haven't seen or talked to you for a very long time now, I quietly hope you still read this story and sees this a/n. Together we written a lot cross-over stories, which I miss very much. I hope you are doing fine.

Thank you to Swiftbolt99 for being an amazing friend and support. I really love your feedbacks and takes on every Gotham story I have written so far. Your stories are amazing as well, and I will try to read them soon. We also have written several stories together, and I want to thank you for it. I am happy knowing you and thank you for being my friend and support.

And thank you of course to all the amazing guest reviewers and all other reviewers I don't remember by name. I mean, there are so many of you but even though I don't remember your name, you still mean a lot to me. Thank you for your support and your beautiful reviews.

Thank you to those who followed and favorite this story.

Five years, can you believe it? I can't LOL
I do wanna apologize for not updating this story consistent for the last 1 and a half year. Do I wanna continue on with this story? I think so. I mean, I am not sure if the little antics I write are still funny to read. It depends on you, really. If you guys want me to, have ideas I still need to use, then I will try my best.

In the meantime, stay save. Together we can fight this covid.