AN: And now we jump right into the angst. Because it has to happen, right? Also, it's theorizing events of S5, and may turn into a 3-shot or so.

Oblivion Is Calling Out Your Name

The sunlight glints off the dagger when he angles it just right. He's been sitting on the docks, turning it between his fingers for hours it seems. Each time, he hopes that when he spins it again, the name will have changed. Each time, he's disappointed.

Emma Swan.

They don't know where she's gone, just that she hasn't been seen for twelve hours, not since she took on the darkness of the Dark One and left the dagger behind, the only sign that it had ever happened at all.

Well, that and the Crocodile's new, perfectly clear heart.

Hook had seen him earlier, looking pale but otherwise fine. He had been in the diner, with the royals and Henry, and in had come Rumplestiltskin.

The sight had driven Killian here, because the urge to take the dagger in his heart and shove it through the other man's heart…

It was a stark reminder that darkness could so easily creep up on you. And thinking of darkness made him think of Emma. Emma, who was filled with the power of the Dark One and the Saviour, and who…

I love you.

He hadn't gotten the chance to say it back. It had been on the tip of her tongue earlier, when they had reunited in the loft. And he had toyed with the idea of saying it first, when she had backed out and instead thanked him. But he hadn't, too afraid she wasn't ready to hear it. And then disaster struck, and he hadn't had the chance to say it back.

"Are you going to summon her?"

He stops turning the dagger when Henry comes and sits on the bench next to him. He looks more like Bae every day, and Killian remembers how brave the boy had been in the alternate world. His father would have been proud. Killian certainly was.

"I'm… afraid," he admits hesitantly after a moment, setting the dagger carefully between them. Henry looks at him for a moment, then reaches out and picks it up, resting it on his lap. He runs his fingers over the lettering of his mother's name, then sighs and places it next to Killian again.

"You should summon her."

"Perhaps you should be the one-"

"No," Henry shakes his head, cutting Killian off before he can finish. "She wouldn't want me to see it, and" – he hesitates for a second, gaze darting to the dagger, then back to Killian – "I think you'd be the one she'd want to have it. The dagger. I think you're the one she would trust the most."

Killian raises a brow at that, because certainly the lad or her parents would be just as trustworthy. And yes, he knows she loves him – it still causes him a pang, because he didn't get to say it back – but Henry will always be the most important to her. It's one of the reasons he loves her so dearly.

"You didn't see her, when you died," Henry says with another shake of his head. Killian considers arguing, because he had seen her, and he will probably never forget the stricken look in her eye and the pain of knowing he had put it there; pain even sharper than the dagger the prince had shoved through his heart. "She was… she pulled herself together, because she had hope that you would come back, once everything went back to normal. But she wanted to fall apart. I could tell. When she thought it was over, because of my mom. I think she could have killed the Author, you know. In that split second, before I realized I could be the Author, I think she would have killed him."

It probably shouldn't warm his heart, to think of Swan being able to kill for him, and God knows he would never want to put her in that position… but after so long loving her and fearing it would never be returned…

He just wishes he could have said it back.

"She loves you," Henry finishes. "She really does. So you should summon her."

"I never got to tell her," Killian admits to the boy, looking at the horizon, pain filling his heart once more. "She said it, and then she was gone. And I never got the chance to say it back."

"You still have one" – Henry nudges the dagger over, so that the sharp point is against Killian's finger – "she's not dead. We… we can still save her."

He gets to his feet, and Killian watches for a moment as he walks away.

"You're not going to stay?" he asks him, before Henry is out of hearing distance.

"Nah," he replies, "I told you. Mom wouldn't want me to see her like that."

Then he's gone, and Killian picks up the dagger, turning it in his hands once more. The thought of Swan even considering falling apart over him… he grieves at it, even as he can commiserate.

He wants to fall apart right now. But the lad is right, and there is one way… a single thing he can do.

He holds the dagger out in front of him, her name glinting at him from the dagger's surface. He hates the sight of it, hates what it means.

"Dark One, I summon thee."

He sits there, dagger in front of him, breeze ruffling at his hair. Nothing happens. No sudden smoke, or grand entrance as the Crocodile was so fond of. Just Killian, the dagger, and silence. His hand drops to his side, and a pit forms in his stomach. This is why he had put it off as long as he had. Because Emma had taken on the power and then disappeared, and left the dagger behind. And what… what if that meant…

"Killian?"

He blinks at the figure that appears in front of him. She looks much as she had in the alternate world, except her garb is black. But more than that, it's the skin that gets to him.

It's sparkling gold, the same as the skin he'd once mockingly likened to a crocodile.

And her eyes… her eyes, usually so green and bright aren't green anymore. They appear more yellow, less human. Emma takes a step towards him, and then recoils, keeping her back to him.

"I didn't want anyone to see me like this," she says. "I…"

But she can't finish her thought, because Killian's already gone to her and spun her around, framing her face with his hand, while his other arm wraps around her waist. And the eyes might not be right, and the skin is wrong, but it is Emma, and Killian feels such relief, that he doesn't think twice about pressing a kiss to her lips.

And for a moment, it's magic. It's like breathing for the first time, and power prickles against his skin and dances along his nerves.

And then he's flung back, skidding against the ground until he comes to a stop in front of the bench.

"Swan?" he asks in confusion, because he had felt that. Had felt the power.

It had been true love.

"We can't," she tells him, clinging to one of the wooden poles that line the edge of the dock. It almost looks like she's physically restraining herself from going to him, and her eyes look worried, dancing up and down him, as though making sure she hadn't hurt him. Then her eyes dart to the bench, where the dagger sits, and for a second she steps towards it, and it's not Emma anymore, but the Dark One.

It's just a moment, where her eye flash dark and she looks almost malevolent, and then she recoils again, hugging her stomach and looking ill.

"The Dark One… true love's kiss will just release it, and then we'll be back to square one. We need to find the Sorcerer, Killian. We need to find Merlin."

"Then we will, Swan. Just take my hand. Come with me and we'll find him. Us and your family."

"Don't you get it?" Emma asks, shaking her head. "I can't… I can't be near that."

That is the dagger, glinting in the sun, and Emma's gaze on it is hungry again. Killian goes to it and lifts it, and when he turns back to her, her fingers are clenching and unclenching, and she's looking anywhere but at him and what he holds.

"You can't be near the dagger."

"Everything in me wants to take it and hide it away where it will never be found. To kill anyone that would even try to use it to harm me."

"I would never-"

"I know," she tells him, her voice desperate. "God, Killian, I know. I just… I know, but the Dark One? I told you once that the only person who saves me, is me."

"I remember," Killian replies, because he remembers everything his Swan has ever told him.

Including I love you.

"I was wrong. This once… I need you to save me, Killian. I need you to take that dagger, and not look back. Not until we know how to stop this."

Her voice is pleading, but the pleas are unnecessary. He will do anything for her. Anything to bring her back to him.

"I promise," he swears.

"Good. And you have to keep anyone else from that dagger… even… even me."

He can see the hunger again, and realizes that what Emma is asking won't be easy. Because the Dark One lurks there, and it wants the dagger and the power, and Emma is the most powerful of light magic, and now of dark as well.

Right now she pleads for him to keep the dagger away from her. But given time under the Dark One's spell?

She may very well become the biggest barrier to her own salvation.

"Swan, I l-"

"Don't," she says, with a sharp shake of her head, making Killian stop his speaking. "Don't. I… when you say it, I want you to say it to me. Just me."

"Okay," Killian replies with a nod. "Okay. But Emma… know that I mean it."

Emma closes her eyes, a pained smile crossing her lips.

"I know. And know that right now, in this exact moment, I mean it to" – then her eyes snap open again, and Killian can see the darkness dancing in them once more – "and also know, that the next time we meet… I might not."

Killian clutches the dagger to his chest and gives a sharp nod, and Emma disappears in a cloud of smoke, dark and tainted and completely unlike the magic that had made her the savior.

Killian vowed that he would get it back.

AN: Because there has to be a reason that Killian can't just TL kiss the Dark One right out of her, right? So I figured that no Dark One!Emma means they're right back at the start, so they need to find the Sorcerer and find out what the hell to do first.

And also, I bet the Dark One influences people… and Emma really won't be used to that, since she had the darkness that people naturally have sucked out of her. So what if that makes her a little more susceptible? Will her love for Killian be enough? Stick around for answers.