Confessions of an Ice Princess

Author: Kerimack

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Cruel Intentions, I just borrow and manipulate them.

Rating: R

Summary: Kathryn is desperate to get rid of her new step sister Annette. It seems hopeless until Sebastian Valmont arrives to lend her a hand. Kathryn's POV. Please R&R!

Authors Notes: So this is pretty much an AU fic. Same characters as Cruel Intentions but completely different story line. Also Sebastian isn't in this chapter but rest assured he will arrive soon enough.

Why I Hate Weddings...

Where do I begin? The flowers, the obnoxious guests, the hideous bridesmaid dresses such as the one I was wearing. A pink satin number done by some French designer who my mother insisted was totally in this season. Yeah right she probably got that from the same idiot who brought back Pucci prints the year before. But I digress...

No if I was honest I would admit that the dresses and all the other window dressing wasn't what bothered me about weddings. It was actually the concept in general that I had a problem with. The idea that a women would sign away so much of herself to one man for the rest of her life was completely appalling to me. A women gives up her identity, freedom and more all for what? So the asshole can screw around behind her back and take her money just so she can say she's married? No thank you.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm not totally against the concept of marriage if it's done for the right reasons. Money, power, status, a house on both coasts these are things to aspire to. They were worth having to fuck the same man for ten years or however long you had to stay married until you can start collecting the alimony checks. For these and only these reasons should a women agree to marriage. However most women aren't that practical. They decided to throw there lives away for a different reason entirely. That reason was what brought about the monstrosity that would be occurring in less than an hour.

That reason of course was love. Call me a cynical bitch (enough people have) but what a fucking joke. Romance, compassion, true love I never understood it. Now passion, lust, sexual attraction that I got. Didn't people realize it could never last? Eventually people got bored, they moved on it was human nature. Marriages never lasted and mark my words this one wasn't any different. I give it a month.

Now before you go thinking me cold and heartless let me explain the situation. This afternoon in front of all her so-called friends and the better part of New York society my mother was getting married for the third time. After the first two you would think she learned her lesson but apparently not.

The first marriage was of course to my dearly departed father may he burn in hell. No wait maybe that's too harsh. I never really had anything against the man, in truth I barely knew him. He was just a bank account dressed in an Armani suit who donated the sperm that would help insure my mother a larger settlement when she left his sorry ass. I imagine at some time she cared for the asshole but that went away once he started screwing his secretaries. Ironically it was while he was fucking one of those office sluts that his heart gave out and he dropped dead on the poor girl right in mid thrust. Life worked in strange ways sometimes.

The second marriage was most definitely one of convenience for my mother when she married Frank Barrymore. Although she had more money than she knew what to do with she was getting sick of attending her parties and social events alone. So one day she sat me down and explained in a very matter of fact way that it was time she got married. Frank was older than my mother with plenty of money and no children. He was the perfect catch or so she thought. A year into the marriage mother and I walked in while dear old Frank was diddling my nanny in mothers bed. Needless to say Frank and Georgette were quickly booted out.

After that incident she sat me down and calmly explained the facts of life. "Kathryn when you are older you will meet a man and he will sweep you off your feet. He will charm you and tell you he loves you but don't believe him. All men only want one thing and once they get it you're of no use to them anymore. Love my dear is all an illusion don't ever buy into it." Even at my young age I was aware my mother was saying all of this out of hurt but I also saw the truth in it. Looking at my mothers fucked relationships and those of the people around me I realized how right she was.

My mother is the one who taught me the rules of life which was why I was completely floored when less than ten years after Frank she announced her marriage. I wasn't shocked she was marrying so much as the reason why. My mother, the original ice queen, was in love.

To top it off you should see the loser she fell for. A middle aged, bible thumping, widower who was poor! Christ it was like she went and found the biggest loser possible but she insisted it was true love. I of course tried to talk her out of it citing what she told me all those years ago. "I was hurt and upset Kathryn" she explained while admiring the dinky diamond the dumbass called a wedding ring. "Roger has helped me see that love and happiness can exist."

At that point I wanted to gag "mother it will never last."

The smile had vanished from her face at that moment as she looked at me slipping effortlessly back into ice queen mode. "Kathryn I am marrying him and it will last. End of discussion." Knowing there was no way to change the women's mind after she made it up I reluctantly kept my mouth shut while I quietly sulked.

You see I haven't explained the worse part yet. If it was only Roger Hardgrove I had to deal with I wouldn't care so much. Let the stubborn bitch ruin her life for all I care. However I realized this marriage could very well ruin mine as well. Roger as it so happened came with some baggage in the form of a goody-goody, pure as the driven snow daughter named Annette.

I had know Annette long before this soon to be disaster came into play. We went to the same school where surprise, surprise dear old Roger was the headmaster. Actually that was how they met. My mother was on the school committee and was just smitten by the charming and down to earth Mr. Hardgrove. Gag.

Anyway like I said he wasn't the real problem it was his daughter. It was safe to say Annette and I weren't what you call close. I despised the little bitch and I was more than positive the feeling was mutual. You see although I always took great pride in being able to fool everyone around me into thinking I was the prefect angel Annette never bought it. Thus she made it as her duty to make sure I didn't 'corrupt' or hurt any of our fellow classmates.

However her efforts never worked. When I ran for student body president she ran too...and lost. When Jennifer Doubins was elected captain of the field hockey team over me I befriended her so I could destroy her later on. Annette of course saw what I was doing and tried everything to warn the stupid girl but of course she was too driven my the need to be popular which I used to destroy the bitch. I could name a hundred different examples and they always have the same outcome. I win, Annette loses.

Still the girl and her holier than thou attitude was starting to grate on my nerves. I had been trying to get her shipped back to the hick town she came from when mother started dating her father. We were both quite horrified actually and even more so when they announced their marriage only months later. Now the little virgin and her idiot father were moving in with us which meant life as I knew it was over.

Now normally I would be dreading this day like the plague however there was some good coming out of it. My boyfriend Oliver would be coming down from Harvard to attend the wedding. Now unlike my idiot mother I knew how to pick a suitable partner. Not only was Oliver wealthy and came from an upstanding family, he was also smart, charming and gorgeous. We were perfect together and it didn't hurt that the boy was fantastic in bed as well.

All of this might cause a girl to fall head over ass in love with him but not me. I might adore Oli (as everyone referred to him) but I was hardly blind to his faults. He could be controlling and I knew he was probably screwing around with some sorority girls while he was away but I didn't really care, after all I was hardly celibate while we were apart. Just as long as he didn't stray too far I could deal. The wedding would be the first time in over a month that we saw one another and I couldn't wait.

So as I stared at my reflection in the floor length mirror I decided I would push away all thought about my new 'family' and instead concentrate on my summer with Oliver. Just then the door behind me opened and my soon to be sister walked in wearing an identical pink dress. Immediately I frowned and turned my nose up "what is it?"

"Tiffani wanted me to tell you that we're leaving in twenty minutes for the church" she sighed.

That was another thing, I hated when she referred to my mother as Tiffani. I much preferred it when she called her Ms. Merteuil. Any day now I knew she would start calling her mom. Then I might truly vomit.

I tried my best to ignore the girl hoping she would turn around and leave but instead she stood beside me looking at herself in the mirror. Frowning she remarked "god I hate this dress. I mean how could anyone think this would look flattering on someone?"

I knew she was trying to be friendly and it made me despise her all the more. Coldly I told her "my mother picked it out. Why don't you go tell her you don't like it. I'm sure she's dying to know what a fashion maven such as your self would pick out instead."

Annette turned to be abruptly "do you always have to..." I knew she was just dying to rip into me but she stopped herself. "Look I'm not any more happy about this marriage than you are."

"Yeah right" I scoffed while reapplying my lip gloss.

"What's that suppose to mean."

I finally turned to face her "oh please, you're telling me you're not just the tiniest bit thrilled to be trading up? Going from some shit hole apartment in Chelsea to a three story townhouse on the upper east side must be a nice switch."

Annette shook her head scornfully "do you honestly think I care about your money? Unlike you Kathryn my life isn't based on material things and status. It never will be."

"Good for you" I replied sarcastically. "I'm sure all those pure thoughts will serve you well during those exciting days in the convent."

Before she could retort the door opened and Stella the maid came in. "Ms. Kathryn your guest has arrived."

I knew it was Oli so with a smirk I turned to Annette "I'll see you at the chapel loser and if I were you I'd do something about your hair before birds come and nest in it."

Satisfied at getting the last word I left the room and followed Stella out into the sitting room where Oliver was waiting. Dressed in a dark suit that looked nice against his tanned skin he was as gorgeous as ever. He was staring at a photograph as I entered and quickly turned around. "Well look at you."

Unable to hold back my grin I threw my arms around him "you're finally here."

"Yes" he said kissing my neck in a familiar way "did you miss me?"

"Maybe" I told him coyly before pulling him down for a kiss. When we broke apart I couldn't help but notice this hesitant look in his eyes. "Something wrong?"

"Umm no why would you think that?"

"You seem strange"

"No it's nothing but...I do have to tell you something." Looking down at his watch her asked "when's the ceremony?"

"We're leaving soon so tell me quick" I tell him feeling suddenly anxious about what he was going to say.

"Well maybe I should wait" suddenly I notice his attention has drifted to something over my shoulder. The uneasy look left his eyes as he smiled "hey Annette."

Oh christ I think as my expression falls and I turn around. The nit wit took my suggestion and let her hair down but she still looked frumpy in my humble opinion but not Olivers by the way he was looking at her. Annette didn't seem to mind as she smiled sweetly at him "Oliver, when did you get here?"

"Just now" he gushes then they hug. They actually fucking hug and I seriously want to start screaming but I keep my cool not to mention my grip on his arm. Still the stupid smile never leaves his face as he looks her over and comments "you look amazing."

"Thanks" looking at me pointedly she says "not everyone thinks so."

Oliver ignores the tension between us "so how's school. You still planning on attending Harvard next year?"

"Yeah if I can get a scholarship"

He shakes his head "well you won't need to worry about that anymore. You're part of the Merteuil family as of today. I'm sure Tiffani would gladly give you the money right Kathryn?"

I seriously would like to strangle him at that comment. Oliver knew damn well how I felt about Annette so I couldn't figure out if he was just a complete idiot or totally clueless. "Yeah sure what's a few hundred grand. Can we go now?"

When Oliver just shrugs I roll my eyes as I grab him by the arm and lead him down the hall away from Annette. "That was rude" he says as we stop at my door.

Part of me wants to scream at him for fawning all over Annette but I'm not in the mood for an argument. Instead I slid my arms around his neck and kiss him letting my tongue slid against his. When he pull away I tell him in a husky voice "yeah well what I can I say I'm a bad girl."

"Yes you are" he tells me pulling me closer.

With a smirk I open my door and pull him in "I think you should punish me..."

* * * * * *

"Do you Tiffani take Roger to be your laufl wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer..."

As the priest drones on I said a silent prayer hoping against hope my mother would come to her senses and say no. However with beaming eyes she stared lovingly into her soon to be husbands eyes and replied "I do."

Unable to help myself I rolled my eyes in disgust and proceeded to block out the rest of it. Taking a quick glance to my left I noticed the weepy look in Annette's eyes as she smiled at her father. God was the stupid cunt actually going to cry like this whole thing was a deeply moving experience? Then again why should she not be thrilled about this marriage, she was going to get a free ride to collage out of it.

Now if this wedding wasn't bad enough it was being held in of all places a church. The Hardgroves were deeply religious but the Merteuil's were not. The only time mother and I went to church was on Easter Sunday but that was for appearances sake more than anything. I got the feeling as she told me that Roger wanted a church wedding that she wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea. I then offered to tell Mr. Hardgrove that I didn't believe in God but my mother threatened boarding school in Switzerland if I tried it.

As the ceremony was wrapping up I looked out at the crowd. My mothers side was of course filled with friends and family members. The Hardgroves side wasn't quite as full and the people who were there were hardly at the same social standing as my mothers friends. Most of them in fact were Rogers family from Kansas who were staying at a Motel 8 near the New Jersey turnpike. Ugh...I couldn't believe I was practically related to these people.

However I did notice one familiar face sitting near by. My eyes locked with Olivers and he gave me a small smile. Seeing him I remembered he wanted to tell me something. After we screwed around for a little bit in my room he once again said there was something important he wanted to tell me but we were interrupted when the maid announced my mother was ready to leave. As I left he told me he would tell me after the ceremony. For the life of me I couldn't figure out what was so damn important. I just figured if had something to do with our summer plans.

"You may kiss the bride"

With those five words it was done. I was now officially related to the blond drone beside me and her loser father. God you should see them they all look so...giddy. It was truly nauseating.

After my mother and Roger walked down the aisle the guests began to leave as well to head to the park where the elaborate reception was to be held. As we followed Annette turned to me like she was going to say something but I ignored her and kept walked up to Oliver who was waiting by the door. "Thank god that's over" I exclaimed wrapping my arm around him. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah" he said that hesitant look reappearing. "But first we need to talk." Taking my hand he led me outside and started walking down the sidewalk in the opposite direction of the guests.

"Where are you going? The parks that way"

"We need to talk in private"

I was seriously starting to get annoyed by all of this. With a sigh I said "well whatever it is make it quick Oliver. I told my mother I would go right to the park."

"Ok then...I think we should end this."

For a second I didn't think I heard he right "excuse me? End what?"

He sighed as if this was hard for him. "This Kathryn, you and me. Look you know I care a lot about you and everything but this just isn't working for me-"

"You're breaking up with me now? Here?" The initial shock began to give way to anger. The stupid prick was actual dumping me on the god damn street like I was a hooker he didn't want a date with.

"I tried to tell you earlier but we kept getting interrupted"

Shaking my head I hissed "I can't believe you're doing this to me now. At my mothers wedding to the fucking loser...why? Don't give me some bullshit answer I want the truth."

"I just don't think we're right for each other. I'm at school, you're here-"

"Oh cut the shit" I yelled "who is she?"

Oliver looked surprised but I could tell by the look on his face I was right on with my accusation. "Ok fine there is someone-"

"I knew it! How fucking predictable. Who is she some dim wit sorority girl?"

His face twisted in anger "no she's brilliant and sweet and compassionate. All the things you lack actually" he replied coldly. Normally I would have let the insult roll right off my back but surprisingly it stung. "You want the truth Kathryn well here it is. You may be a great fuck but you're a shitty human being. The confident bitch act was impressive for a little while but it got old quickly."

Holding back the pain his words were causing I scoffed "well you didn't seem to have a problem with it a few hours ago as I was sucking you off."

"Momentary laps of judgment but it won't be happening again. We are over with"

"Fine I was getting bored anyway with faking orgasms"

Shaking his head he sneered "nice, very classy. I'm going to the reception to say good-bye to your mother than I'm leaving."

"Good" I told him as I leaned against the wrought iron gate behind me. "Bye-bye."

Oliver looked back at me once before quickly crossing the street and heading down the block towards the park. I waited for a moment so we wouldn't be walking together but also because I didn't have the will to move. In truth I was completely floored by this recent turn of events. I thought everything was fine between us, I thought he adored me. I guess I thought wrong. The idea that Oliver could think so little of me bothered me more than I though it could. Perhaps I was falling for him after all.

With a heavy sigh I walked down to the park. Now not only did I have this miserable party to look forward to but now I had no date and would have to make up some excuse as to why Oliver wasn't with me. As I walked I wondered who this mystery girl was that I was getting dumped for. A college girl perhaps but if that was true why didn't he just tell me.

My thoughts remained on the identity of this girl until I arrived at the reception. Before joining the festivities however I surveyed the crowd to see if he had arrived yet. It didn't take me long to spot him and when I did I could feel my anger begin to build. He was talking with Annette, whispering something in her ear that made her laugh.

It was then I realized who Oliver had found to replace me. He was dumping me to be with Annette! Thinking back it all made sense. How happy he was to see her, always asking about her, then he breaks up with me for someone he considered 'decent'.

I stood watching them in a silent rage as he once again leaned into her and whispered something before taking her hand. Oh how fucking precious he was asking her to dance. As they made there was to the dance floor Annette looked around the party nervously most likely looking for me. Good she should be nervous taking what was rightfully mine. This meant war sis.

- to be continued (Please Review)