Angie:
Spike's Story
She's dancing again, always dancing, ever since her father died and her family left, she dances. I watch her silently, her silent watcher. Seems to be one of my things these days. She's wants to dance... she has a death wish. Problem is... I don't want to do that dance with her. Not her, she has too much to live for. Too much going on for her. I can't lose her like I lost her mother... and her father. I can't. She can feel me watching her now. She turns towards me and just looks at me silently, hopelessly.
He's watching me again, he's always watching me. Even after he told Dad that it couldn't happen, he watches me. He really loved him... and my Mom... and he really loves me. But... I dunno if I can love him back... or anyone back. I... I dunno... Dad died for me... and Mom died for me... and everyone. Everyone I love dies. I can't love anymore if it just ends in their death. Rather just close myself off to them all. I just want to dance. Why won't he dance with me? He danced with Mom!
She's challenging me to dance. I glare at her because she knows I don't want to dance. She knows I won't do it but she won't stop challenging me! Damn it. Bloody women. Why can't they take no as an answer! Why do they have to challenge!? She's just like her mother! It's infuriating! Fine... she wants to dance, I'll dance.
He's gonna dance with me. Finally, we're gonna dance. I have to dance with him. He's the closest thing to my father I have... he's killed to protect me. And he was one of the best fighters I ever knew. My husband didn't understand, my kids didn't, they left me, said they needed a normal life, away from me and my weirdness. Well, my husband did, not my kids. Let them go... Let them live. I'm dead and I can't come back.
God, she needs me so bad. I can tell by the way she's moving. She's desperate for something. To die? Or to live? It's hard for me to tell, but I still dance with her. She's like ice-fire in my arms. If the niblet saw us she'd freak, more because the last time she saw someone like that, it was when Buffy went to fight Angelus after her Mom kicked her out. Dawn was so sure that Buffy'd die. If she saw Angie like this she'd have a bleeding heart attack. I have to help her... she needs to wake up.
Oh God, he's living flame! No wonder Aunt Dawn fell for him. He's so right. The dance is getting more heated, his hands guide me in the steps as he leads the dance, our dance... no... Mom and his dance. It's their dance, but it feels so good. So good to just let go and to feel the heat in his being. He's making my blood run, pumping hard in my veins after being frozen for so long. God he feels just like Dad. Daddy... why'd he have to leave?!
She's starting to thaw, the ice is melting. I keep the dance up, and I suddenly realize that it's not a dance of death, but of life. She wanted to die, but needed to live. I don't know what else to do for her except keep dancing, she's coming back to life. Maybe she'll cry and open up and live again. Maybe... I hope so. It hurts to see someone who was so full of life, so dead.
He's looking at me with those eyes. Those crystal blue eyes so full of love and worry... for me! I know it's for me, god, he's a demon, he doesn't have a soul he isn't supposed to love like he does! He's not supposed to care! He's supposed to kill, he's supposed to kill me! Why won't he kill me?! I pull away, shoving him hard and retreat into a corner as I start to cry. I just can't take it. If he loves me like this he'll die! Like Mom, like Dad! He's supposed to kill me... why won't he kill me.
She's scared and sobbing. I slowly move to her and collect the sobbing girl into my arms. She struggles a bit and then just collapses in my arms. Telling me how I'm supposed to kill her, and that I can't love her cause it'll end up with me dead. That she kills everyone she loves or loves her. That it was good that her family left, they could live without her. I just held her tighter, shushing her and then just starting to sing a lullaby. There wasn't much that I could tell her to make her feel better.
He's holding me, so gently, so lovingly, it's wrong for his kind to feel like this... it is! But I just hold him tighter and pour my heart out. He starts to sing to me. I can't help but calm as he sings. Soon I'm not crying anymore. But I still feel that I'm empty of everything. I don't know what to do.
She stopped crying and kept holding me. I looked down at her and kissed the top of her head gently. She lost so much so quickly, it isn't much of a surprise that she felt this hopeless. "Come home with me and Dawn Angie." I whisper to her, my eyes begging, something I learned from her poofter father. She look up at me and blinked, then her eyes started shine again and she was crying again.
Why'd he have to use Dad's puppy-dog look? I want him back so bad. He wanted me to be something, but I've become a nothing. I shook my head at Spike. "I'm nothing... you don't want me." I buried my face into his chest as I sobbed. "I'm nothing..."
"That's not true!" I yelled at her, pulling her back to look her squarely in the eyes. "You're Angela Summers, daughter of Angel and Buffy Summers. You're not nothing... and you're coming home with me. Okay?" She nodded and I helped her to her feet. Leading her back to our place. She was Angie and I would take care of her, just like her father, even if it meant dancing with her. And maybe, one day... we would dance that dance... maybe.