A/N: oh guess who has a new STORY definitely NOT ME LOL HAHAHAAHa just kidding you guessed right it's me! i know i still have to update like my other fics but recently i've read Fangirl and i love that book a lot! i find it very truly relatable and i've been inspired to write a phan college-centered fic even though i have no college experience whatsoever whoops but hey hey

summary: Dan Howell had just started college, and he's roommates with someone named Phil Lester, who's quiet and moody. They're similar in a lot of ways, they like the same things, listen to the same music, and they even have matching fringes. They're also basically polar opposites, but that's what makes them attracted to each other, even if they don't know it themselves yet. College AU. Phan, with some kickthestickz.

**also i was previously icekittens but i have changed my user to howlters—

**characters may be slightly ooc, trying out new writing style ehehe

disclaimer: i don't own dan or phil

setting: college AU

enjoy

I.

the beginning

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It was the first day of college and Dan was dreading it.

He was worried about a crapload of things. Like who his roommate was going to be (er, well, he actually knew already, it's just, what would they be like?). Or how his classes would go. And if he would make friends with people. Especially that. Dan was never the social type, and honestly he never thought he would be that kind of person anyway. Dan's insides kept churning, and he couldn't seem to be able to talk or do anything because he was that nervous.

Dan's parents had told him constantly that there was basically "nothing to worry about" and that Dan should be able to survive through his first semester in college. However, Dan thought otherwise. He despised anything that had to do with being social. Parties, sports, you name it. He sighed, and fixed his fringe. It was going to be a long year. Dan looked around on the college campus, and then by the dorms, where he would be staying in.

He took a deep breath, and exhaled.

He was really not looking forward to this.

Hauling his boxes packed with his things with both hands, he walked cautiously to the dorms, where the door was left ajar, making the job quite easier for him. With ease Dan walked inside, and looked around for the room that was his — room 326. His brown eyes scanned each and every door across the hall, and nearly almost tripped on several things people have left outside the rooms — but fortunately finally found himself staring at room 326.

Dan stared at the numbers on the door, and then down at the paper with his room assignment.

Yep, 326. Hesitantly, Dan nudged the door open with his knee (it was unlocked) and walked inside. It looked like a small bedroom, with two mattresses on opposite sides feet away from each other. There were two desks, a lamp, and two drawers for each side. It wasn't like Dan's bedroom back at home, but it looked like a nice place to settle in. It didn't smell weird either, which was good.

His roommate wasn't present, but it seemed like he was here — there were boxes on the mattress to the right. Only one of the boxes were open, but it didn't seem like he'd bothered putting them away in somewhere he'd remember to place them. Dan frowned as he stared at his room assignment paper — Lester, Philip. Dan stared at the name. Philip Lester, huh? Dan wondered what kind of guy he was.

Dan checked the time. 7:10. They've gotten the whole day to settle in before classes the next morning. Dan inwardly groaned as he sat on the springy mattress on the left. It was surprisingly comfortable. He pulled out his list of classes, reading them off one by one. Tomorrow, he'd have his Foreign Language class first... ugh. He was taking French, and he promptly sucked at it.

At that moment, the door opened wider, and someone walked in.

Dan looked up from his list, and raised his eyebrows in greeting.

The other teenage boy looked back at him, then at his room assignment paper in his right hand. "Daniel Howell?" He asked, a slight bit of Northern accent embedded in his tone. Dan examined his features. Black hair, fringe brushed neatly to one side (kind of like Dan's, but on the opposite side). He had a pale complexion, and bright, bright blue eyes, behind the boy's glasses. He was also wearing a plaid shirt along with black skinny jeans and converse.

"Hi," Dan said, holding out his left hand for him to shake. "You can call me Dan. Philip, right?"

"Phil," He replied, shaking Dan's hand. He was looking at Dan curiously. "You're a freshman?"

"Yeah." Dan said, not sure of what else to say. "You too?" The black haired boy nodded, and had gone back to rummaging through his boxes. He was frowning as he pulled out some of his clothes out, and had started arranging them in his drawer. Phil looked back at Dan, who was looking at Phil with a slight interest. "Did you want the right side of the bed? I can move my stuff if you want me to."

Dan blinked. "Oh, no, it's alright. I prefer the left." He raised his left hand. "I'm left-handed."

"Ah." Phil said, his eyebrows raised. "Well, I guess that makes sense."

The brown haired boy shrugged, as he too got up and started unpacking. He took photographs out of the boxes and placed them on top of his drawer. It became aware to Dan that the two of them were supposed to become good friends, if they were to be roommates for the rest of the semester. Phil seemed plenty nice already, he was pretty friendly to Dan when he had finally came into the room. He was a bit quiet too, and Dan didn't mind that. But it was probably because they had just barely met ten minutes ago.

About a few hours later, Dan had finished packing in silence. His clothes were folded in his drawers, photographs placed on top of it, and posters that advertised his favorite bands were up on the walls. He'd gotten to setting up his mattress so it would be more comfortable; Dan had pillows scattered all over his bed, and threw a blanket over it. It was basically how he slept every night, after spending some time on the Internet. Phil was finished unpacking too, the two of them had their fair share of awkward silences, not knowing what to say.

Even though the two of them were guys they weren't quite comfortable changing in front of each other yet — Phil had let Dan go first so he could wait outside until it was his turn to change into his pajamas, or something. After the two of them had completely changed, Dan stared at the time. 10:15. That late already? He sighed and crashed on his springy mattress, pulling out his iphone and scrolling through old pictures on his photo library.

On the other bed, Phil was lying down, facing the ceiling. He looked quite tired, actually. Dan wondered what he was doing before he'd came into the room earlier. Maybe that was what had tired him out? Dan couldn't explain it, but he was feeling exhausted too — it had added up to his nerves he was feeling before tomorrow came. Dan placed his phone on the desk and left it charging, as he thought about what was there to come.

Phil wasn't saying anything, next to him.

It was awkward.

Dan hoped he would get used to this — even though Phil didn't seem to want to make any conversation. He thought about what he knew about his roommate so far. Quiet. Reserved. Tidy, kind of. There were socks under his mattress, even though they just unpacked. Also, he was a freshman, too. But it was strange, Dan thought that Phil looked older and more sophisticated to be a freshman. And he seemed to know a lot about the dormitories already...

From his laying position, Dan shifted to lie on his left side, facing Phil's side of the room. He'd taken off his glasses already, and he looked like he was already fast asleep. Dan couldn't help but blink in surprise. Had he fallen asleep that quickly already? Amazing. Dan never fell asleep that fast. It took him a while to get comfortable, and to actually sleep. But Phil looked like he was knocked out already, his chest rising and falling as he breathed.

Dan sighed, and turned so now he was facing the wall; lying on his right side. He hoped that he wouldn't wake Phil up, as the mattress sprung with every move. Finally, he settled into a comfortable position, and closed his brown eyes. He snuggled against his pillow, exhaling as he waited for sleep to overtake him.

When Dan woke up the next morning, Phil was already gone.

Slightly irritable and drowsy, the brown haired teen checked the time. 7:32. About thirty minutes until his first class started. Well, shit. Dan lazily dragged himself out of bed, and changed as he blinked the sleep from his eyes — grabbing black jeans and a black t-shirt with a white circle on it. He fixed his fringe in the mirror and frowned, staring at himself in the glass. Then he shrugged and rubbed his eyes, grabbing a black jacket and matching black backpack as he left the room, class schedule in hand.

He assumed that Phil had already left for class, and didn't even bother waiting for Dan. Dan sighed. Maybe Phil wasn't as nice as Dan thought, after all. He pulled out his phone and checked the time. 7:45. Ugh, there was almost no time for breakfast, and Dan didn't really eat breakfast in the first place — so he just made his way to his Foreign Language class, fifteen minutes early.

Almost half of the class were new to the school too, Dan thought as he stepped in the classroom, feeling his nerves return. He searched for a desk and plopped himself into one almost at the back of the room, where many other new students were sitting in nervously. Dan observed his surroundings, as he looked to the right of him, a boy with green eyes and brown hair swept to one side was sitting in the desk. He looked bored, but he couldn't stop tapping his pencil on the table.

The nerves seemed to go away as the fifteen minutes dragged by, and finally — the French teacher walked in. Dan straightened up in his desk as his teacher started his lecture. Besides him, the boy was still tapping his pencil on the desk. Dan massaged his temples as he tried to focus on what his teacher was saying.

During class, Dan got the strangest feeling the boy besides him was watching him.

The rest of the subjects in the morning had dragged by — and it was finally time for lunch.

Lots of college students often left to get food outside of school. Dan had knew that, because lots of the students already had their driver's license. Dan had his, but he didn't really like going out to buy lunch. Instead he much preferred getting it inside of the school's dining hall, since mostly all of the seniors were gone, doing whatever. He fell into line and chose to have just a sandwich and a bag of chips for lunch, and looked around for a table.

Then he saw someone waving at him. Dan squinted.

It was the boy from earlier — the tapping-pencils-on-his-desk boy. The one that Dan suspiciously thought that he was looking at him. This time, he was accompanied by two people: one, a curly haired boy, and two... wait, was that Phil? Dan blinked. The boy was waving his hand more furiously than ever, and Dan slowly walked to their table, feeling awkward and shy. Once he had finally arrived, he boy grinned at him brightly. "About time you've got here!"

"Er." Dan said. He was pretty sure he'd never talked to him in his life.

"I'm Chris. Chris Kendall." The smiling boy then said, shaking Dan's hand way too excitedly. "You're in my French class, right? I hope I don't annoy you when I tap my pencils on the desk. It helps me focus. And from the looks of it, you're a freshman too, huh?" He said, still grinning. Dan was slightly taken aback. This guy probably enjoyed smiling a lot. After all, it looked like that it was all he did.

Besides Chris, Dan could make out the other two's features much more better now. The curly brown haired boy on the left of Chris was looking at Dan curiously, as he sat down next to him. His green eyes were widened with slight curiosity. Chris noticed Dan feeling slightly out of place, and he nudged the curly haired boy, who started. "Oh, hi — I'm PJ Liguori." He shook Dan's hand as well, and Dan blinked, even more bewildered.

"Um, hi." He mumbled, realizing he hadn't said an introduction yet. "I'm, uh, Dan Howell."

"Nice to meet you, Dan!" Chris smiled. He gestured to the other boy on his side — and Dan realized that it was Phil. He wasn't wearing his glasses this time, but he still looked a bit drowsy, surprisingly. Phil was poking moodily at his pasta. "And I'm assuming you know who Phil is?" Chris asked, as Dan nodded slowly.

He took a bite out of his sandwich. "Yeah. We're roommates."

"Ah, that's right." PJ said, speaking up besides him. "Phil mentioned something like that."

"Although you guys seem more like strangers." Chris said, pointing his spoon at Phil first, and then Dan. Dan felt suddenly on the spot, and he quietly munched his chips as an awkward silence then passed, as none of them said anything for a while.

"I didn't even tell you." Phil then grumbled. "You two idiots looked through my room assignment." With that, Phil ate a bit of his pasta, as Dan raised an eyebrow. Was Phil really this moody? He looked like he was a really nice person, but then again — you shouldn't judge people based on their appearances. Dan shrugged, and continued eating, as Chris and PJ started talking about something. However, Dan still felt kind of awkward.

It was like they were treating him as if Dan knew them their entire life. Chris really was nice, and friendly — and so was PJ. Phil, too, even if he didn't show it that often. But the three of them seemed like they've been friends for years, from the aura Dan had been getting around them. He smiled as he finished the last few parts of his sandwich, but then jumped when Chris exclaimed loudly.

"Aha!" He said, pointing a finger at Dan. The brown haired teen's eyes widened.

"What?" Dan asked, frowning.

"You've smiled." Chris grinned. "I was waiting for that smile. You know, when someone realizes they've met the people they'll be friends with throughout their whole life — that was your smile right now, Dan." He continued smiling at Dan — even his green eyes were smiling at him. Dan smiled nervously, and ducked his head down, feeling slightly embarrassed. But it was true. They all seemed like nice people.

PJ snorted. "That sounds creepy when you put it that way."

"Oh, shut up, you know it's true, Peej."

When Dan looked up again, Phil was looking at him this time.

And Dan was glancing back at him.

Phil had an excellent poker face — Dan wasn't sure what he was thinking. Throughout the stare, Dan couldn't help but look into Phil's blue, blue eyes, as he looked into Dan's brown ones. They weren't even blue — they were a mixture of green, yellow, and blue. Phil's eyes were really pretty, and when Phil finally tore away from the gaze, Dan found himself still staring at him. Dan frowned.

He hoped that somehow, he'd actually get to know Phil.

Pretty soon, a few weeks passed by and Dan was already getting used to college.

Ever since that day, Dan had easily started hanging out with his newfound friends, all of them were really interesting people. He enjoyed their company, they were fun to have around, even Phil, who grudgingly went with them as they explored the campus. Chris and Dan had developed a good friendship, and the two talked daily in French. PJ was in Dan's biology class, and the two were partners.

Except that sometimes — Phil wasn't present during lunch. When Dan asked Chris and PJ of where he'd always go, they'd always respond that he wanted to go out to get lunch himself at those times. During the other times Phil was actually there, he'd kind of not acknowledge that Dan was there at the table. But then again, he didn't really talk to Chris or PJ either. It was kind of driving Dan mad — during the past few weeks, the only main conversation he had was Phil was "hey" and "hello".

Hell, if they were roommates, might as well spend time actually befriending one another.

Chris and PJ had told Dan that they were roomed together too, and they told him (while Phil was gone) that Phil should be able to open up to Dan soon enough. Chris told him sadly that Phil didn't really use to be like this, acting all moody and shit, in the past he'd been actually friendlier and nicer. It was bugging him that Phil wasn't trying to befriend Dan, and now Dan was pretty determined in actually talking to Phil.

So you could imagine how surprised Dan was once he left his final class and found Phil standing there, a few feet away from the door. He was wearing his glasses and looked like he was in a trance. Dan didn't know what to do — Phil wasn't making any sign of recognition towards him, until Dan had awkwardly cleared his throat. Then, Phil snapped out of his daze and stepped towards him.

"Dan." Phil said, nodding.

"Phil." Dan replied, he was about a few inches shorter than the black haired teen. "Do you need something?"

Phil cocked his head to the side slightly; he appeared to be in deep thought. "No, I don't. Not really."

Dan didn't know what else to say, Phil wasn't saying anything else, he was just looking at Dan with a newfound curiosity. Dan had begun to fix his fringe subconsciously as he waited for the other teen to just say something, anything. Then Phil spoke, in a quiet voice. "D'you wanna grab dinner with me?" It took a while for Dan to actually take that last part in.

"What?" Dan asked, not sure if he heard correctly.

"Do you want to grab dinner with me?" Phil asked, more slowly. He looked slightly embarrassed, his blue eyes were glancing everywhere except at Dan. Then he looked down at the brown haired teen, who's eyes were widened slightly on how direct Phil was. And then he smiled, and nodded slowly. "Er, yeah, sure." Phil then nodded, and turned away, but not before looking back, seeing that Dan was actually following him.

Once Phil had turned away again, Dan was smiling.

They ate together in the dining hall.

It was silent at first, the only sound was their utensils clinging against each other as the two of them both ate their meals — Dan, macaroni and cheese with chicken wings, and Phil, a small bowl of fruit and a baked potato. Dan watched as Phil stabbed a grape with his fork, and ate it slowly. He smiled to himself, maybe he could get used to these kinds of things.

He already knew some more stuff about Phil — sometimes he pulled all-nighters in the dorm. He liked wearing plaid and colorful shirts, although his personality was almost the opposite from that. Phil wore glasses so he could see better, heck, anyone who wore glasses needed them to see better, but Phil wore them occasionally. He had contacts, Dan saw him putting them on one morning. Phil also had really pretty eyes. Dan liked looking at them, some days it seemed like they changed color.

He never saw Phil smile, either, which was strange because Chris and PJ both told Dan that Phil used to smile, like a lot, even more than Chris. He was a smiler, Chris had said. Was, as in past tense. We rarely see those kinds of grins anymore, it usually pops up when we're out partying. It made Dan's curiosity about Phil increase. He wondered what happened that made Phil so moody.

"What are you taking for Foreign Language?" Dan then asked quietly.

Phil looked slightly taken aback to be asked that question; he probably assumed that Dan was 99% quiet. He took a bite of potato before answering, and looked up from his meal. He was wearing his glasses this time, but his blue eyes were still bright as ever. They reflected the color of Phil's blue t-shirt he was wearing under his black zip-up hoodie. "German. You?"

"French." He replied, as he ate his macaroni.

"Oh, right." Phil said. "Isn't Chris in the same class as you?"

"Yeah." Dan said, relieved that this conversation was finally going somewhere. Phil was looking at him with interest, Dan felt slightly uncomfortable at the intenseness of Phil's gaze. It was a few minutes before Phil said anything else. "You have any family? Siblings?" Phil asked, as he poked his strawberry, making it roll around in his bowl.

Dan nodded. "I have a brother."

"Same here," Phil said. There was a hint of a smile on his face. "Annoying, aren't they?"

"I think mine's fine, actually."

He snorted. "Mine can be fucking aggravating, especially when I'm trying to listen to music."

"What bands do you listen to?" asked Dan, tilting his head to one side. He took another spoonful of macaroni, and gulped it down, looking back at Phil, who seemed hesitant to answer. Then he sighed, and fixed his fringe, almost similar to the way Dan fixed his.

Phil shrugged. "My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Muse, stuff like that." Dan's eyes widened.

"Hey, that's cool. So do I. What a coincidence, huh?" Dan said slowly.

The black haired boy shrugged again in response, and finished off the rest of his meal. He stood up to empty his tray and came back to the table, his head in between his hands. "Yeah, maybe..." Dan continued on eating his chicken wings as a comfortable silence passed by. He couldn't help but smile to himself as he finished the rest of his dinner. After he emptied the tray and put it on top of a trash can, he sat back where Phil was sitting.

He was looking at him softly, his eyes narrowed slightly. Dan decided to say something.

"You know... I'm glad we talked."

Phil snapped out of his daydream. "What?"

"It's nice that I'm finally getting to know you." Dan said, refusing to lose his streak of confidence he had just gotten. "After all these weeks. I thought you hated me. You never talked to me or anything. It was like we didn't know the other existed." Dan looked up at Phil, who looked surprised.

Silence.

"But I don't hate you." Phil said, confused. "I never hated you."

At that moment, Dan felt a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders. "That... that's good, I guess. I don't hate you either." He looked back up at Phil, and gave him a small smile. "It's just... yeah." Feeling slightly embarrassed again, Dan fixed his fringe. A few minutes later, Phil stood up. Bewildered, Dan looked up at him, into those blue eyes of his.

"Come on." Phil said. He turned around, his back facing Dan so he couldn't see his expression. "Let's go back to the room."

Dan blinked.

Phil looked back at him — Dan almost fell out of his seat. He was smiling.

"Come on, you lazy ass." Phil said, with more urgency. Yep, he was grinning. It was a full-fledged, genuine smile, and it was making Dan's heart pound loudly against his chest — for what reason (or any reason), he had no fucking idea. "You're my roommate, remember?"

It wasn't until a minute later that he stood up too.

"Okay," Dan said, returning the grin.

He couldn't seem to stop smiling, not even after they entered their room.

A/N: aeurggghgh i'm DONE! and oooof, it didn't really come out the way i wanted it to, but oh well. it should get better, hopefully

and i hope i'll be able to update this more often too oops

hope you enjoyed!

-choco xx