It was midnight and Erin couldn't sleep. It had been a week since Nadia's unfortunate death and the whole team was starting to accept the fact, except her. Every night she looked at the untouched bottle of vodka sitting on the kitchen counter, debating whether or not she should drink it. She just wanted to escape the world and never come back. She wanted to deal with reality when she actually cared about it. After 10 minutes of grieving, she fell asleep, but not peacefully. She drifted into a dream which suddenly turned into a nightmare; a memory of Nadia.

"I hope you're not planning anything for my birthday." Erin teased. There was too much going on for a celebration. "What? Now why would I ever do that? I mean, you only saved my life." Nadia chuckled. She felt the need to repay Erin. Without her help, she wouldn't be the woman she was today; a future cop. On that note, she drove to the closest bakery and that was the last time Erin saw her.

Erin woke up. Breathing heavily, she looked at the clock and realized that she was already late for work. "Damnit!" She hissed. She hurried and took her shower. When she was dressed, she made her way into the kitchen. There it was again: that bottle of vodka. She knew she shouldn't drink it, considering that Voight already warned her. Unsurprisingly, she didn't care. She poured the vodka into a glass and drank it. Another round. She then figured she better get to work. On the way out she poured the vodka into a blue tin water bottle and officially started her day.

When she got to the precinct, Voight was already explaining a new case. "There has been a murder at Chicago Med. Alfonso Ramone." He put a picture of him up on the whiteboard. "Last night at 9:50 he died from an injection" He explained. "Woah, woah, wait. An injection…. of medicine?" Ruzek asked, confused. "Well, we don't know. He was placed in the hospital from a gunshot wound in his neck 3 weeks ago. He was going to be discharged at 12 today." Voight added. "I don't get it. What kind of nurse or doctor purposely kills their patient a day prior to his discharge?" Dawson asked. "A fake one.." Olinsky slowly answered. "Okay, so we have a fake nurse who injects some sort of poison into a patient making them die...interesting." Ruzek commented with a smile. He seemed pretty happy that Burgess is now in place of Atwater, but he also knew that their relationship would have to dial down at work. "Lets go to the hospital and try to get some more info. Halstead, you're with Dawson. Olinsky, with Ruzek. Burgess, you stay here to answer calls for a few. Lindsay, you're with me. They all left and headed to Chicago Med.

Voight and Lindsay got into the car. Lindsay put her vodka bottle in the cup holder. "What's in the bottle?" Voight asked. "Water." Lindsay simply answered. Voight looked at her concerned . "Erin..." He warned. "It's water can we go now?!" She snapped. Voight took the bottle, took the top off, and smelled the vodka. Erin opened the car door and walked quickly back to precinct. "Erin! Come back here. Now!" Voight yelled as he also walked quickly after her. Erin locked herself into the bathroom and sobbed. Voight asked Sergeant Platt for the key without explanation and went to the bathroom. "Erin…Open up kid." He said softly. No answer. He then texted Olinsky telling him that he would be a little late. After he sent the text, he inserted the key and opened the door. Erin was sitting on the floor with her knees to her chest. Her eyes were red and she was rocking back and forth staring at the floor. Voight ran over to her and wrapped his arms around her. "C'mere." He said calmly. "It-it was all my f-f-fault…." She started to stutter on her words. "I should've-" She tried to explain but Voight cut her off. "Erin, don't do this to yourself." He wiped off a tear streaming down her face. He hadn't seen her like this ever since she was a teen. "Maybe you should go home and get some rest.." He continued. "No!" She snapped, "I-I'm fine." She sniffed and straightened herself up. "Lets go."

When they arrived at Chicago Med, everyone was sitting down. "What took you two so long" Ruzek joked. Voight and Olinsky gave him a stern look implying to shut up.

Ruzek looked at his feet. "Any info?" Voight asked. "Alittle." said Dawson. "Security cameras?" Voight wondered. " We couldn't get the face, but it's definitely a white male, blonde hair, and about 6 ft 7" answered Olinsky. Voight sighed. "Where the hell is Halstead?" He asked. He hadn't seen him since they were in the bullpen. "He's talking to Will and the staff to see if they seen anything." Ruzek explained. "Alright. Well we won't get anywhere by just standing here. Olinsky and Ruzek, go check up on Mouse. See if you can figure something out. Tell Halstead to stay here. Lindsay and I will go talk to Alfonso's family. Move." Voight demanded.

The drive to Alfonso's house was pretty silent. Erin looked out the window while Voight occasionally looked at her. "I was like this when Camille died.." Voight suddenly said. Erin looked at him. "I did everything I could to make the pain go away. Got drunk, slept more, everything. I even purposely got hurt on the job so I could go to the hospital and get high from morphine…" He sighed. " I... I don't know what made me do it. I just couldn't accept the fact that she was gone." Erin looked down at her thumbs and twiddled them. "Erin, I don't want you to do stupid things like that. You've come way too far to throw it all in the trash. We've come way too far.."

Author's note:

Hi! This is my first fanfiction and I'm extremely excited to see what you guys think of it! Sorry if it's a little short. If you have any suggestions, concerns, etc.. Please do not hesitate to ask or tell me! I'm looking forward to writing more! Thanks! :)

-ml2d