Tonight's Lullaby: The feel again by Blue October

Small Lifeforms
Chap 1; Grocery Cart Drive-By

"Hey, it's gonna be okay," Craig whispered. Both his eyes were closed as he squeezed Tweek's little form in his arms. "There's always skype…"

Tweek was heaving into his chest. His red face was buried deep into the front of his boyfriend's hoodie. The fabric could only take so many tears. He could feel Craig's clothes stick to his cheeks. The car was waiting behind him. It was fully packed with his mother sitting in the front seat. He didn't want to get in. He didn't want to go with her.

All he wanted was to be with Craig.

"It w-won't be the same! I want to be with you, and stay up late to watch infomercials and go on d-dates and- I- I-"

"Hey," Craig murmured. His finger slipped under Tweek's chin to coax him into letting Craig see his tear soaked face. "It's going to be alright… I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

"B-but I am…"

Craig frowned at that, but he knew it was true. Things would never be the same. At least not for a long time. No more sitting together under the bridge after school. No more stealing each other's kisses in the theater.

The taste of coffee would only be bitter for him after that moment. He knew all too well.

"Tweek, darling," his mother called from the driver's seat of her car. "We have to get going."

Again, Tweek pressed his face into Craig's shirt in protest.

"I can't… I can't go without you…"

Craig sighed, but rested his head in the boy's wild hair anyways. "It's going to be okay… I know it's hard."

"I love you," Tweek choked into Craig's chest.

"I know…" he muttered in reply. "I love you, too."

"Promise me," Tweek heaved.

"I promise, forever."

That didn't seem to help stop Tweek's sobbing. This was it for them. The moment Tweek slid into that car, all their whispered promises and passionate nights would be behind them.

Their love would be behind them, though Craig wouldn't believe it.

It could work, whether they lived two houses down or a four hour car ride away.

Craig didn't let Tweek see him cry. He just forced his feelings down as he watched his boyfriend climb into the back seat of that green Grand Prix. The car revved, and Tweek pressed his hands against the glass, looking at Craig with the saddest eyes he'd ever seen.

That was the last time Craig ever saw them.

...

What's so special about margarine, anyway? It's yellow and comes in a tub. Wow. So impressive. You know what else does those things?

Butter.

Butter does those things, margarine.

And it does it for fifty cents less.

What do you have to say for yourself?

Craig stares blankly at the yellow tub on the chilled shelf before him.

Mhm, that's what I thought.

He plucks the butter from its place and tosses it in his cart.

Whistling contently, he heads towards the chip aisle. An esteemed bachelor like himself deserves nothing less than the finest bag of chips the market can offer.

He doesn't quite see the other cart quickly exiting the aisle to his right, or notice the person it belongs to yelping right before their paths collide with a metallic sounding bang. Groceries jar about, and Craig's precious butter slides onto it's side.

"Oh!" the cart's owner shouts in surprise. "Sorry about that!"

Only then does Craig look up to see a pretty girl in a red button up coat. Her brown eyes get a little wide at the sight of him, which he finds odd.

"Oh. Hi, Bebe," Craig says in his usual drawl tone.

Running into her is usually a nice thing. Being that she's always a great friend to him, bumping into one another are fortunate coincidences. However, for Bebe, this time doesn't seem to be so fortunate.

"Why are you here?" she demands, which leaves Craig blinking in confusion.

He looks down into his cart of food, and then asks dejectedly, "Am I not allowed?"

She lets go of her cart only to shove him out of the way and grab a hold of his.

"Hey!" he shouts as he watches her make off down the aisle with his groceries. Perplexed and annoyed, he jogs after her. "Thief! Cart thief! Call the police!"

She doesn't let go until she reaches the decorative rugs and throw blankets in the home improvement aisle. Craig jumps when he turns in after her. She stands five inches away from his face. Damn, she sure is tall in heels.

With a goofy smile she pats the top of his blue hat.

"Be a good boy and stay on this side of the store," she coos.

"Why?" he asks with a tilt of his head.

She stands wordless for a short while while she plays with the hem of her blouse.

"Well..." She lets out a loud sigh. "Because um... I might have forgot to mention something."

"What?..."

"Tweek is back."

His jaw unhinges like he's preparing to speak, but the tightness in his chest denies him of any words.

"I didn't know if you'd want to see him-"

"Wait he's here? In South Park?" Craig pries with lax lips. "Since when?"

"Since yesterday."

"And you didn't tell me?... Clyde didn't tell me?"

"Well, how could we have?" She asks while shaking her head. Frizzy blond curls sway as she does. "I know how you feel about him... and things are different, now."

Craig frowns. "...so he doesn't want to see me?"

"What? No, no. I didn't say that."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Well... you see-"

"Bebe?" A voice calls from somewhere nearby. The squeaky wheels of another cart approach, and Bebe purses her lips together. Despite this, she turns quickly on her heels to greet the third member of their party. He's a rather small man. 5'4, perhaps, with unruly blond hair and pale skin. His fingers clutch to the handle of his own cart, and they only squeeze harder when his green eyes spot Craig.

"Ah... Tweek," Bebe mutters. Lifting her hand, she gestures towards the man beside her. "You remember Craig... obviously."

Tweek locks onto the familiar face with his eyebrows raised and pinched together. Craig's left just as shocked as his eyes trail down to a tiny person fastened into the seat of Tweek's grocery cart.

"Um... yeah. Hey," Tweek utters with a small and awkward wave.

"...hey," is all Craig can say in return. His heart feels like it's stopped and all the air left his lungs. Still, he manages to find the breath to ask one question.

"Who's kid?" he asks as he watches the little boy in Tweek's cart fiddle with a stuffed rabbit's ear.

Tweek swallows and looks around the aisle for an escape. His fingers drum an anxious beat over the handle of his shopping cart, and he signs. It's obvious even Bebe's feeling tense at the question.

She's not so sure how Craig's going to take this.

"He's mine," Tweek says. He smiles a little before laying a hand in the boy's light hair. The child gazes past his father's cart to see the tall man on the other side.

"His name is Avery," Tweek adds.

"Oh."

Now all of a sudden Bebe's urgency makes sense. He's heard rumors, though he's always chosen not to believe them. Thinking of Tweek with a family seemed a little ridiculous. Not to mention it also made Craig's heart sink… that feeling's so intense now Craig thinks he can feel it thumping in his shoes. He discreetly lets his eyes wander to search for any signs of the child's mother.

"So um… where's the wife?" Craig asks with a chuckle. It's only there to mask the sound of his heart shattering. Tweek surely would have heard the crash otherwise.

"Wife?... Oh! No, no. I'm single," Tweek sputters just as awkwardly, though that small confession seems to relax Craig almost completely.

Not that Bebe is surprised.

"Um," She interrupts the two. "How about I walk Avery to the toy aisles while you two catch up."

"Toys?!" Avery reaches up, shaking the cart as he bounces. Tweek reaches down to unbuckle the boy and lifts him into his arms.

"A-alright, that's fine," he utters before passing him off to Bebe.

She squeezes the boy and coos at him, then turns towards the toy section. Almost absentmindedly, Tweek pushes his cart towards them. The old, sticky wheels of the metal contraption squeak, jarring his small pile of groceries about. The toys are a short while away considering Bebe has to stop and retrieve her own groceries. Craig doesn't seem to mind adding to their caravan of carts. He lingers behind, watching Tweek as if he's some mythical beast.

Craig imagines Tweek as a merman.

Bebe takes Avery to an aisle lined with foam swords and fake weaponry. Tweek and Craig end up loitering just outside the aisles, alongside the ball cage. It's where Tweek has the best view of his baby. He trusts Bebe with his life; that he does. However, he finds it really hard to let his son out of his sight. Who he's with doesn't matter.

"He looks just like you," Craig says while trying a little too hard not to stand too close. "So cute."

It takes a moment for his head to process what he just said. "I mean… I'm not saying you're cute. Wait. I mean…"

Tweek gives him a half smile and waves his hand to dismiss Craig's embarrassment. "It's okay… everyone says that. Good to see you haven't changed m-much."

Craig clears his throat while playing with one of the rubber strings holding the bouncy balls in their cage.

Hah. Bouncy ball prison.

What did you do to deserve this, blue basketball with white swirls? And you, orange beach ball?

Didn't pay ball child support? Pop a yoga ball? That's murder.

Well, orange beach ball, I am quite frankly shocked and ashamed.

"It's been a while since I last s-saw you. At least in person, anyway," Tweek mutters as he watches Craig pick at the black string. At first, the voice startles him out of his thinking. It's still just as shaky as it was when Craig last spoke to him. His hair is just as wild and his fashion sense is just as adorably skewed. He's still Tweek. Aside from the little surprise of a child, he seems to be the same person Craig fell in love with when he was thirteen. That thought makes his throat dry. Suddenly, he's forgotten all about the orange ball's dastardly crime.

"Yeah… its been like… six years ago," Craig nods. His chest pounds kind of funny when Tweek adjusts the collar of his too-big green sweater. "What have you been up to over all these years?"

Tweek shrugs. "I graduated and tried going to college for a little while."

"Oh?" Craig questions. He keeps his eyes locked onto the side of Tweek's face, though all Tweek is interested in was watching Avery pick through toys. "Why didn't you finish?"

"Well… my, um…GAH! My girlfriend got pregnant," Tweek says while fidgeting with the collar of his sweater. It's obvious he's uncomfortable. "She decided she didn't want to stay with us, and I guess taking care of him alone and working and going to school was too much, so I had to drop out."

Craig frowns. "I'm sorry to hear that…"

Tweek purses his lips together in thought, but allows his big green eyes to gaze over at Craig. "It's okay… it's not all bad… how about you?"

Craig shrugs. "I dropped out of high school."

Tweek gives him a stern look of disapproval, which Craig can't help but grin at.

"So… are you visiting your dad, or-" Craig begins.

"Oh, no… me and Avery just moved back here. We're staying with Bebe."

"Oh! That's awesome!" Craig said a little too excitedly.

"Um, I mean uh," he stands a little ridged, then clears his throat. "That's cool."

Tweek tries his damnedest not to laugh, but fails miserably.

"So why'd you move back?," Craig asks. He's back to picking at the black elastic string and mentally interrogating bouncy balls. "Virginia not good enough for you?

Tweek shrugs a little. "Well… hm. Yeah, I guess."

Conversation dies when Craig realizes all he's doing is drilling Tweek with questions. The poor thing never did do so well when he felt like he was being interrogated. Craig leans back against the bouncy ball prison to join Tweek in watching his toddler have an epic sword battle with Bebe, who's down on her knees so he can reach her.

Craig tries so hard to think of a suitable conversation topic, but what can he say to an ex boyfriend? Especially one that hasn't been around for years. Tweek seemed to light up when Craig mentioned his son before. That seems like a good step in the right direction.

"How old is he?"

Just as Craig suspected, a small smile tugs at the corners of Tweek's mouth.

"Four, now. He just had his birthday last month. It was kind of also a going away party so all his little friends from the neighborhood were there and-" he realizes he's rambling. "It was nice."

Tweek's smile's contagious. Craig can't battle it off his face.

"Aw, definitely sounds nice."

Tweek nods kind of hard before clasping his hands together. He still moves the same way. Craig tries not to notice those things.

"Daddy!" A small voice shouts from the end of the aisle.

Tweek tilts his head as the little blond runs up to him, foam sword in hand. The little boy's excited, stumbling gate slows cautiously at the sight of his daddy's tall friend. Tweek squats down with his arms outstretched, and little Avery quickly scurries into the safety of them. Tweek stands with the boy tucked against his side.

"Avery, this is daddy's friend, Craig," he introduces.

Craig smiles, though the boy offers only a glance in his direction before hiding himself in Tweek's jacket. Craig's smile melts into a small frown.

"Am I scary?" he asks in a voice that sounds far more hurt than he intended it to.

"No, no, he can just be a little bit shy with new people," Tweek says in assurance.

He pats the child on the back as Bebe watches from a little ways away. She can't decide whether to be worried or elated by this surprise reunion.

"Come on, Ave. Craig is nice. Don't hurt his feelings."

Again, the child peeks out at the giant towering over him and his father. He doesn't think he ever saw anyone that big before. This new person's as big as the skyscrapers they saw on their trip to Aunt Bebe's house.

"Hello," Craig greets. He shifts from side to side as he speaks. Kids generally aren't his forte. The only ones he's ever around are Bebe's daughters, and they're wild compared to Tweek's timid little creature.

Avery looks away a moment as he decides whether or not he should respond.

"…Hi," he says in a small voice.

Suddenly Craig's smile returns to him. It's much bigger this time.

"What are those things?" Avery asks while pointing at Craig.

"What things?" he blurts before looking himself over.

"On your arm…"

"…oh! Those are my, um, tattoos."

"Aunt Bebe has a butterfly on her back," Avery says while nodding his head. "What animals do you have?"

"Well, I don't have any animal tattoos. I have this, though."

He takes the hem of his short sleeve and pulls it up over his shoulder, revealing a car. Just a car, nothing fancy. It's simple, just how he's always liked it.

The little boy's eyes light up and grow wide.

"D-Daddy! Look, it's RedRacer!" he shouts in his excitement, making his skittish father jump. "It's RedRacer!"

"You know RedRacer?" Craig asks. By now he's growing just as excited as the four year old in Tweek's arms.

"Yeah! He's my favorite!" Avery declares. "His cars are- they're so cool! The one with the rockets! It's like- SHHHHHWWOOMMM!"

"Aw, yeah! Did you see the episode where it flew off motor canyon!? I nearly had a heart attack the first time I saw that."

"Y-yeah! Yeah! Oh gosh, goodness, I s-screamed!" Avery shouts while jolting his arms upwards. The child's speech is so slurred and ran together Tweek's amazed Craig even understands him.

"God, it's like the best show ever. RedRacer's little sister is one of my favorites. She reminds me of my sister! She's always on the road- Except she likes motorcycles instead of cars," Craig gushes. The wide eyed little boy keeps his enthused gaze on Craig and all of his words, but the giant stops mid ramble when he sees the look Tweek is giving him. An oddly cute grin is tugged at his lips, and his eyebrows are raised high. Craig knows immediately what Tweek is thinking. YOU'RE STILL A FUCKING DORK, AREN'T YOU?

A little embarrassed with himself, Craig looks down at his feet and shuffles them. A squeaking sound resonates through the aisle as Bebe pushes her cart back towards her friends. She was having fun watching Craig make an adorable fool of himself, but they're strapped for time "We should hurry and finish up here. I wanna get home before Kenny drops Charlotte off. Her and Claudia will have a fit if they don't get their damned mac and cheese."

"I'd be more worried about Clyde, honestly," Tweek replies as he buckles his mini me back into his cart. "Oh, um... It was nice seeing you again."

It was nice seeing you again.

Craig can't stop a smile from spreading across his face.

Tweek turns and takes off down the aisle, which gives Bebe ample opportunity to tease the fuck out of Craig. She pops open her mouth for the invisible dick she's jerking. Her wiggling eyebrows only make Craig's cheeks tint red.

He points a finger at her and narrows his eyes as he backs away to his cart. She flips her hair in his direction with a mischievous giggle, then jogs to catch up with Tweek.

When they're out of his sight he lets out a loud exhale. His fingers grip the handle of his cart, and it's only now he realizes they're shaking. Whether its from fear, excitement, or both, Craig isn't sure. It's kind of hard to sort through his emotions when Tweek's face is still lingering in his vision. At least he's got work in an hour. Maybe it'll be easier to sort all this out with a little help from the good 'ol bartender. He gathers up the remainder of his groceries, though he makes sure to take his sweet time in doing so. He doesn't even feel like his feet are connecting to the ground when he loads plastic bags into his trunk. He doesn't feel like he's breathing when he gets home to put them away, and he doesn't feel like going in yet when he's finally standing in the parking lot of the shop.

He kicks pebbles around the pavement as he leans against the garage's grey exterior. A cigarette is hanging from his lips and he's trying to make a game out of breathing. Three breaths between each puff. One, two, three, puff. The thick cloud of smog seeps into his lungs. It does over and over until his cigarette burns down to the filter.

"You gonna just fuckin' stand there all day?" A gruff voice barks. He jerks his head to find his father, Thomas, standing in the open front door beside him. With his eyes still a little wide, he drops the filter and crushes it under his shoe.

"I was planning on it," Craig admits shamelessly.

"Oh, get yer ass in here," comes the immediate reply. The bell rings as the glass door shuts behind his father, then again when he steps into the lobby. 'Lobby' is kind of a bad word for the tiny room. There wasn't ever much in it besides a few chairs lining the walls and a small counter. Unless one would count the gaudy attempt at decorating. The little model cars on the counter top fit in just fine, but Craig thinks it was probably a bad idea for his dad to decorate their front office with beer posters and neon signs like they were running some sort of professional man-cave.

Craig contemplates what kind of things they would sell if they ran one of those.

"We got a lady comin' in about fifteen minutes for an oil change, you think you can handle that much while I get some work done in here?" Thomas asks… no, orders, as he walks to the other side of the counter.

"Guess so." Craig steps forward and leans against the scratched polish of the tabletop. "If you get me a drink, bartender."

Thomas quirks a brow at his son, but reaches for the mini-fridge under the counter anyway. "Just one, but wash your damn mouth out. Don't want you wreaking of this shit when you're working."

"Aye, Aye."

Craig takes the cold can in his hand and cracks the top open.

"Okay, I'll bite. Smokin' in the parking lot, me playin' bartender. What's goin' on?"

Craig looks up from his can, then wipes his mouth with his arm. "Hm? Nothing, really. Just ran into somebody. It's got my head kinda screwy."

"Just somebody, eh? That Stan douchebag again?" Thomas asks before cracking his knuckles. "Me and Ruby'll gladly wring that scrawny fuck's neck."

"What? Holy shit, no," Craig says before putting his hands up, despite the can cupped in his right. "It wasn't Stan. You don't gotta kill nobody."

"Oh." Thomas crosses his arms. "Then who?"

"Um…" Craig utters through an awkward laugh. "It was a… Tweek. Guess he just moved back to town."

Thomas perks up at the name, then leans forward a bit over the counter. "Tweek? Like… Tweek Tweak? The little 'en you used to go with?"

He stands in silence as Craig fiddles with the tab of his beer until it pops of. "Yeah."

"Then what the hell 're you so screwy about? Go… talk to him, or some gay shit. You don't get exes back by slackin' at work."

"Holy shit dad," Craig snickers through a budding grin. "Are you trying to get me to get back with him?"

"Well, fuck, you whined about him leaving till my ears bled. Can't tell me you don't want to. He was the only one I ever liked, anyway. Didn't hurt he was so damn cute."

"Holy fucking Jesus," Craig blurts. He has to set his beer down on the counter to hide his embarrassment in his hands.

"What? Too much?"

"No. I just... ugh."

Thomas stands up straight and waits for his son to spit it all out. It's a little too obvious he's keeping things to himself. Thomas only gets more and more frustrated when Craig picks up a model car and rolls it back and forth. He's wondering if a monkey could be taught to drive a stick shift like the one in RedRacer when his father impatiently clears his throat in annoyance.

"I didn't just meet Tweek."

"Okay."

"I met Tweek and his son."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Thomas's downcast gaze lingers on the car Craig is playing with. Craig doesn't notice his father's sympathetic stare. Maybe because he's feeling a random rush of excitement thinking about the kid. Which, he supposes, is kind of odd. Half of him is still reeling in confusion over this new, life altering discovery. The other half of him wants to keep talking about RedRacer.

"So is there like… a lady friend?"

"No. He says he's single… His son's name is Avery. He seemed to really like me. 'Cause of my RedRacer tattoo."

"He's single and the kid likes you- go for it."

"Wow. You're usually picking apart all the things you hate about everybody- especially my boyfriends," Craig replies with a weird half-grin. "It's not normal, you being so nice."

"Yeah, well don't get used to it."