AN: I'm updating this because my work load is dying down, and so is the story. I know no one really likes it, it's too violent and explicit and it's badly written; but I'd hate to leave a story untold. I've not forgotten about any of my other ones, in fact I had loads to upload and then they all got deleted. So I know no one likes this story, but I do and the concept of it is deep and meaningful to me. You might catch a glimpse of it if you read between the eyes, that's if anyone even reads this pile of bullshit.

At the moment, the story is slowing down, I'm focusing of character progression and I try hard to not make my characters Mary Sue, I don't want them to be the best or constantly hurt, I don't want super powers or anything and the different personalities might seem to some like it makes the character special. The entire concept is the character personalities, what happens when innocence is lost, you can go insane, you can be blinded by logical fear, you can know nothing other than hurt, you can go numb and so many different things. This story is about suffering, and falling and needing a hand to grasp in the dark because you don't know what to do. The characters tell a story within themselves of a dead character.

And I don't want to stop this story. It means too much to me, the concept, the characters, the franchise.

She didn't know what she was doing. Well, she hadn't known what she had been doing since she first awoke. Nothing knew nothing, but she wanted to she wanted to know why she was here, who the others were, where was she. She had lied when she said she felt nothing, she didn't feel per say, but she had the urge, the uncontrollable unyielding desire, to just get out; out of the base. Why? She wanted to watch the sun rise, alone in a place she had never met, with things she had never seen or wept over, she wanted to know what a tree was, what grass looked like, what the smell of morning dew on the grass smelt like. She wanted to know what a butterfly looked like and why they were called beautiful. Yet most of all, she wanted to see beauty, so she could feel beauty.

She felt the others pain, their remorse, regret and their melancholic mood was crushing and ugly, harsh against her young optics. She wanted them to feel beauty, not because they were vain but because she felt the memory; of glowing crystals that gathered upon some glowing cavern roof and how they shone with such radiance, how she remembered golden digits brushing away dirt on her servos that were too small, too young to be hers. She remembered voices that spoke in a language she felt safe with, yet she herself had never heard nor spoken. She felt the feelings when light blue optics looked at her, tunnel vision feathering the sides with a light so bright it made her optics fuzzy, they were soft just as the voice that sang to her like a lullaby.

These weren't her memories, but by Primus did those memories make the others feel beautiful. Especially one, they hid themselves from the others as they felt ugly with guilt and a sadness so black that when she had caught a glimpse of them, their blackened optics looked back and scrunched up in too much pain to describe, she swore she saw a light blue fluid drip down from those scarred, scared and too incredibly young and old optics. They felt the ugliest of all.

She didn't know what she was doing, but she knew exactly what she wanted to do.

She wanted to make them feel as beautiful as they used to feel. When blue motherly optics smiled back at the one who hid themselves, when the one with optics that hated their sun too much watched energon stars in a nonexistent sky, when the one that hid their wise mind in insanity remembered golden tipped digits. When a voice spoke to the one who marched with only a shield and open arms. When they all wished what the sun looked like.

These weren't Nothing's memories, but she would make something from them.

When she had awoken, gathering air had been hard. She'd never known what hard was until she felt something awful blocking something in her that wanted her to do something. Breathe, a voice had said to her as she gurgled blue stuff, and she had found herself the knowledge to breathe. Spewing the energon down she side of her mouth compartments in exchange for air, she hadn't cared. Nothing didn't know where she was for a while, cpu hazy with confusion, she had just stared up into darkness.

Once she had gathered the will to look she had quickly figured out where she was. She lay in the place that the Autobots called a cell, except it was different from before apparently. She found small tubes connecting her to silver machines and bags of stuff she didn't know of. They're important, the voice said again and she believed them because no one had advised Nothing on anything yet and she figured if the voice knew to tell her about them, then they must have known something about the odd machines.

They keep you safe, it said again as if it were reading her mind. Oh, she thought and guessed that 'alive' was important. It didn't reply but she felt a wave of confirmation or something pleasant wash over her.

Moving was harder than looking apparently. Everything ached from laying on the hard surface, her chassis especially hurt, breathing and moving hurt. The urge was stronger however. She needed to see beauty.

Gathering the energy to sit up, she was able to look around the room. Grey naked walls caged around her with a line of electrical bars splitting down the middle of the room. Her area was for a lack of better rooms bare of anything but the helping machines and the berth she lay on. The other side wasn't faring much better, a few different sized cybertronian seats and a table sat lonely at the back of the wall next to the door. An empty cube lay on the table, someone had been watching her while she recharged. That she didn't need the voice for.

Moving her peds over the edge of the berth she let them dangle while a sharp pang of throbbing pain shot down her arms, she hadn't noticed that her damaged servos had not entirely healed, nor patched up effectively. Closing her optics and scrunching her brow she fought a wave of dizziness as the room spun on its axis. Taking a deep breath and letting it loose after a while she let her peds touch the concrete ground and steadily take the weight of the rest of her frame. Taking a few wobbly steps with her servos out, desperately trying to grasp the concept of moving and balance.

She eventually reached the door which separated her from her goal, her urge. Pick it, the voice chirped up, but how she thought? Did the voice want her to insult it, scratch it wouldn't that hurt it? No, stick a digit in it and wiggle silly, the voice mocked with a light undertone. If the voice was feeling happy, then it must have been logical for her to simulate happy feelings.

Using her index digit she carefully stuck her digit into the lock, feeling the many cylinders that would rise and unlock in different ways and following the voices instructions she did as she was told. It took a while but the eventual click of the door unlocking presented itself to her in a pleasant manner. It creaked out with a high pitched squeak as if she had just awoken a small rodent. Tentatively she allowed herself to step out sheepishly prepared for someone to burst through the door and start yelling angrily at her.

Looking around once and then twice she stepped towards the other door, she jumped when the door moved open on its own with a almost silent whoosh. She peaked her helm around the corner and was met with a long corridor with similar doors all lining the hallway. Slowly she took one, two and then more ped steps out of the holding cell bay and into the hallway.

Go left the voice said again to her, she followed it, the voice was her friend she figured. Walking silently down the dark, grey hallway she contemplated the last time she was away, when she had been birthed. Then she still felt the control of Depression leaving an indent on her conscious state, she had felt numb to all emotions except a crushing sadness. Now, she felt neutral, curious even. A part of her knew that curiosity was pointless but the other part felt excited, new things that she had never seen or been to, new sounds, smells textures tastes that only she didn't know yet. Nothing may have felt numb, yet curiosity poked and prodded at her constantly like an annoying, helpful insect.

She eventually found herself in what she presumed was the main room. Just as grey as the last but thankfully more decorated. On the right hand corner was an area with many machines and appliances that were accompanied with large tables and chairs, this she presumed was the eating area for more of her kind. Opposite that was a giant tunnel that stared wide eyed at her with its gaping pitch black maw. She shuddered. On the other side there were many scientific objects and medical supplies as well as another room which she knew was the med bay. Opposite that however was a small overhang with tiny furniture and small little figures. They lay prone in recharge, their tiny little chests breathing softly with young air.

Humans the voice said again, they live on this world. They won't harm you, they are children. It reassured her with some form of understanding of her wariness, she remembered the feelings of scraplets covering her frame and shuddered.

In the middle however was a great, impressive machine with huge circular arcs and complicated wires, machines stood near by with cables connecting them together. The grand metal arcs stood parallel to each other one smaller than the one in front, wires hung from one to the other like bunting. Coils and connectors jutted forth from the machinery and slunk into a neat plait and into a box like computer. The computer interface held multiple buttons and blinking lights, with switches that looked far too stiff. One great lever double the size of her own digit stood upright and came up to her chassis. This machine was made by a larger cybertronian and the comparison was clear.

She stood taking in the groundbridge for what seemed like jours, mouth agape and her servos hung at her side. She tentatively rested her servos on the interface, absorbing all the buttons and keys. Cautiously, slowly she pressed her digits to one of the keys jumping back when it made a high pitched beep. A picture showed up on the monitor next to her, it was a satellite map. Coordinates rested on every quadrant and point.

Press the green buttons, and then the red ones, when they turn off pull the lever, the voice whispered softly in her audials, echoing inside her own mind.

She looked down to the said buttons, halting for a moment in unsureness before she pressed one of the green buttons, it responded back to her with an obnoxious beep.

Before she knew it, she was pressing the keys randomly, completely lacking in knowledge in what she was doing yet the sounds of the buttons intrigued her curiosity, her little curiosity which always sat on her shoulder, pointing out things she did not know of yet and would know if she approached it.

The last red button sat before her, she glanced at it for a while just now noticing the language that she had never seen before. Numbers the voice whispered, and although numbers made no sense to her, she simulated gratitude to the voice with a small grunt. She pressed it.

The handle of the lever, which before had been incapable of movement- she had checked despite the voice reprimanding her- fell down to with a clunk in an angle, unlocked with all of the buttons pressed. The red handle flickered a bright red underneath the material it was made out of. She hesitated, staring wide eyed at the lever before she wth great might yanked it down, a huge chunk of machinery emanated from the interface.

A whirring sound vibrated from the circular arches and bright sparks flickered from nothing into existence in the origin of the arches. Lights danced along Nothing's optics as a swirling vortex of colour erupted in front of her with a grandiose, reversing hum of life.

The urge, it increased in ten fold, pulling her being along despite her frame staying still.

Go through, the voice tickled into her audio, like a child's voice now rather than a indescribable being. And she did, the urge so strong she never realised that one of the sleeping beings had opened its young eyes and watched her leave.

Raf had been awoken by a loud clambering noise from the floor below. Foot steps that were too loud and hard to be human so he presumed it was one of the Autobots wandering around base, they did that a lot when sleep wouldn't come to them; or nightmares from the war had awoken them and the thought of a berth scared them away. None of them would ever admit it but they all did it, the nightmares scared all of them. It was the clumsy shuffling that caught his sleep caught mind however. Arcee and bumblebee hardly made any sound when they walked around the base, they wouldn't have been able to wake him up. Ratchet was a possibility however one of his peds seemed to creak with age as he tried to creep around to his work station. This cybertronian seemed to have never walked before and sounded like a mini Bulkhead, he was pretty sure that it was neither of the two new bots either, silver seemed to make solid and sure footsteps which contrasted to her friends tapping peds.

He did seem to take into account that one of the bots had hurt their peds or balancer- the event from when Bumblebee had 'unfortunately' disabled the thing and had ended up in a tree somehow while just trying to turn his helm caught up in his mind- he let out a slightly amused chuckle.

Yet if they were hurt it would be important to get help, so the young boy glanced up. The figure before him startled him, the femme seemed to have the same design of frame as Hypno however she seemed to slump, her movements were too clumsy and were like that of a child's. Her body however seemed undamaged compared to the descriptions everyone had given about the other 'personalities' and seemed so untouched that it's was if a particle of dust had never seemed to touch her once; apart from the elbows downwards, the metal seemed to prick up unnaturally and was too unsymmetrical compared to the rest of her to be a normality. Another thing he noted despite still having sleep tug at his foggy head was the jagged polygonal winglets attached to the back of the femme, according to everyone no such thing had popped up on either if the other ones. They weren't proud or aesthetically pleasing, purely for the use of moving in her vehicle form, whatever form that may be.

She seemed to pause before every action for a while, a stare at a button, hesitation of the digits and the hovering ped steps. It was as if someone were giving her instructions that she herself had no knowledge of the outcome. The femme messed with the groundbridge interest with a surprising amount of gusto for minutes on end before she managed to set coordinates the presumed not even she knew they were and the lever fell down unlocked.

When the groundbridge was finally set alight her body seemed to straighten with a sense of want, she went through.

Raf thought it best that he should follow the femme, if she had been allowed into the base then she must have been at least somewhat trustworthy, right? Scrambling to move his feet into his trainers and tie them up, ignoring the socks, he raced down the metal steps as quietly as he could even though he doubted the femme was even aware of her own environment. Not even questioning himself he raced through the vortex of the groundbridge and into the unknown.

As Nothing approached the end of the portal, she was greeted by a symphony of senses. Songbirds slowly sang their sweet songs in a way so heavenly, she swore she had never felt something so beautiful. Insects and flurries of wildlife rustled around her as they awoke in the early morn, their movements swaying the plethora of green hues of foliage. Great tall trees stood proudly with their deep, rich bark protruding from the ground like a flagpole representing patriotically the wildlife that existed in each of them. The vibrant greens scattered around the many branches high up, delicate and yet magnificently so strong to her. Flowers of an infinite amount of colours lay around her their faces towards the golden sun as it arose upon the horizon, a deep orange that set alight every nook and cranny of the forest like golden fire formed from the ichor of the gods of this world. Sticky sap oozed from the trees and down the sides of them, the sunlight setting them alight with white crystal like essences of illumination.

Birds of many a kind, called to her audials, whether singing sweet songs or making chirps and squawks at her in their own language. The rustle of a small nest of rodents as they moved out of their home and squeaked to each other. The calls of hundreds of creatures surrounded her like an orchestra designed to be so incredibly awe inspiring that the world seemed to stop and stare in awe at the creations it had made, impressed by the pure magnificence of them.

She stood, stock still in complete admiration an overwhelming sensation overtook her spark it felt light and free as if anything could happen and she knew she would be fine, because she was here. Happiness the voice whispered, you are happy, I am happy, we are all happy. Ever soft in its approach to her, ever so innocent and yet knowledgeable all the same.

Slowly, carefully she took peds towards a huge roaring sound she had gathered in the east, intrigue peaked her interest and she made an effort not to crush or damage any of the flora around her.

Pushing away a thick layer of leaves which blocked her way she was left utterly amazed as in front of her a great river burst forth the blue translucent liquid from its confines and had burst forth over the edge of a bottomless pit which white angelic fog danced away the bottom from sight. The liquid seemed to glimmer as a great light arose from the earth in the distance.

Sunrise, the voice whispered ever so softly that she almost missed it enraptured by her own astonishment. It too seemed just as overwhelmed as her, even more so.

The great light rose from the ground in a haze of orange and yellow, shining it's holy light on all that could be found and erupting forth a symphony of rays of light that seemed to harmonise with each other in a way that danced upon white fully clouds that held marble and gold plated dragons inside of them.

Sunrise.

That's what a sun is.

And all chaos stopped, only the wind, the birds them all. They all seemed to stop in their misery, alerted by the great feeling of overpowering inspiration that Nothing- yes Nothing- had felt. The chaotic screaming stopped from Insanity, Logical seemed too enraptured to even be logical, Depression stood to the side with her entire focus on that great ball of light that she had wished to have dug up as a miner, as a cave dweller.

Guardian too seemed to stop for jours on end, her shoulders seemed to give away from the pressure she had been holding and throw it away.

The one at the back, said nothing, they refused to look. They made themselves not look and she knew it, they refused to allow themselves anything but suffering. Eventually their optics turned and the lights of their scarred optics seemed to flash a brilliant blue as if the entire being of the sunrise cast a healing wave over them.

"Sunrise" they said. They whispered so child like and soft she almost missed it, enraptured in the amount of sadness and happiness that overcame their faceplate.

…

"Do you like…the sunrise…?" A small voice caught her, young and nervous. She turned and was met with the fiery young human.

Speak, the voice said to her yet she did not know how. Open your mouth and think about what you want to think, then say what you think it replied to her.

"I, I want. To see sunrise. I want to know what, sunrise and sun is." She stumbled over words that she knew and yet could not make them flow like he had done.

"You don't know what the sun is? Then how did you know what it was?" He enquirer softly. And he was right, it was odd the memories that had awoken her.

"No, I thought wrong. I, I want first memory to be happy." She replied again, unsure of how to put it.

"So you wanted to see it? Yet you don't know what it is?" He perked up nervously.

"No, I don't want to have memory happy because of sunrise. I want my first memory to be the others see sunrise. They remember glowing crystals, voices and gold servos. But they remember wanting to see sunlight, they still want it. I want my first memory to be of them seeing sunrise, it makes me feel…happy." The word felt wrong on her glossa, she was nothing, she felt nothing.

"You're one of…what's your, uh name then?" Raf said softly to her. Tentatively.

"My name? It Nothing, name is Nothing" she turned back to the sunrise again.

"But who do you want to be?"

…

She thought about it for a while, the question being harder than the others.

"I..I want to be-" she stopped for a klick.

"I want to be something."

She could hear him smile "then that's who you are, you are Something."

And the human was right, the name felt right as if it belonged to her, she was Something, from Nothing.