Okay, I've decided that this will technically be posted as a proper fic... however I want to make this very clear.

There is no Guarantee I will put any focus on it at any point in time.

Also, just to be clear, if you see anything that doesn't quite fit in Nasuverse mechanics normally, don't bother pointing it out, because this is pure, unadulterated Crack and if something would be funnier if it was wrong, then it'll be wrong.

Anyway, that's it for the initial announcement.

As everyone should already know, since this is posted on Fanfiction dot net, I make no monetary gains from this free access fanfiction and all rights are reserved the the respective owners of any series that may be mentioned at all during this fic.

Emiya Kiritsugu did not know what to think as he once again attempted to teach his adoptive son how to use magecraft.

The boy was completely talentless when it came down to learning anything of use, the fact that all he could really do was reinforcement and projection and it was clear to the retired assassin that the boy would have his work cut out learning anything else.

At least, that was what he thought would happen… the reality was that ever since teaching the boy how to use projection, he had ended up growing at a pace far exceeding his own under his father or adoptive mother.

It really didn't make any sense to him why the boy seemed to have gained such a sudden increase in talent but it didn't seem to be anything he had to worry about and as such he decided to leave it be.

XXX XXX XXX

Emiya Shirou silently prayed that his father wouldn't figure out what he was doing.

There was no way the man would accept his childish idea as any sort of use and would probably forbid him from doing it if he ever discovered it.

After all, how many people ever thought trying to project extra magic circuits was a good idea?

Silently checking on the channels he had made for himself, he had to suppress a grin at the fact that they were still managing to reinforce their own existence due to the prana flowing through them, after all, they were refilling themselves on the mana in the air so it wasn't like he was having to put much effort into maintaining them.

And it also helped that he had figured out how to give them different flavours to his original circuit/nerve… it was thanks to this that he had managed to make himself a fake average one.

Though he still didn't understand what his original element was or how it worked but just in case, he decided it would be a good idea to make a few more of those anyway.

His first attempt had involved him using his nerves as a makeshift magic circuit and creating one extra circuit… after that he had stopped changing his nerves into circuits and had just started using his first fake circuit to create a second fake circuit… and then he used both to create a couple more… and he had just kept doubling them whenever he got the chance… right now he was pretty sure he was on something along the lines of eight to ten thousand with over a thousand of each element.

After all, the more he had, the less he had to stress them and the less likely they were to break… plus since none of them were really pushed that far, he didn't have to deal with the uncomfortable heat that used to build up since none of his circuits really generated enough heat to become uncomfortable.

Shaking his head clear, he once again focused on his father's attempts at teaching him more magecraft… this time focusing on the art of erecting bounded fields.

XXX XXX XXX

It had been years since Kiritsugu had died and Shirou had to admit, his studies in the art of magecraft were advancing steadily enough.

He still hadn't figured out what the element of his original circuits was but it wasn't like he never used them, they were the best at projection after all, honestly, they were so good at it that he couldn't even tell they were being used when he used the technique his father had called useless.

Plus the things he made with them tended to stick around… the oldest thing he could think of was his washing machine, sometimes he had forgotten that it had been little more than a projection what with how it was still around and working over three years after he had made it.

It was also pretty weird that whenever one of his projections broke they tended to just break like a normal object and force him to clean them up.

Using that skill to make food had really cut back on his living expenses, especially given how much Taiga always ate.

He idly thought about everything that had happened up till now, how he had managed to figure out that Tohsaka was the Second Owner of Fuyuki and how the Matou were a long running family of Magi… not that he really cared about that but at least he knew the notable individuals in the city, including that Kotomine guy at the church.

Outside of that, not much had really happened, he went to school, was in the top twenty of his year, worked on his magecraft, worked part time all over the place and took the odd walk here and there if he ever needed to clear his head.

His walks were never really plotted, he tended to just plod along wherever his feet took him and today, his feet were taking him through the woods near the temple.

And that was when he saw her.

Wearing a long dark cloak, laying on the floor, clearly on her last breaths was a woman he was pretty sure he had never seen before.

So he did what came naturally to him, he decided to see if she needed any help.

"Hey, are you okay there?" his question was asked clearly and the woman simply looked up, her action was slow and it was clear to the red head that she wouldn't last much longer.

So he did the only thing he could think of.

XXX XXX XXX

Shirou could do little more than let out a sigh as he sat across from the purple haired woman who he had decided to heal with some of the magecraft he had worked on, honestly he was shocked at just how quickly she had managed to recover, though she did inform him that it was mainly due to the prana he had accidentally infused her with.

And she had quickly explained the situation to him.

"So let me get this straight," the teen started with a furrowed brow, "you are a heroic spirit summoned to fight in some secret tournament and the person that summoned you is now dead?"

He received a nod in response.

"And if you don't find a new master within the next half hour or so, your body will be rejected by Gaia and you'll return to non-existence," his tone was bland as he received another nod, "so how do I become your master?"

He found her confused expression at his question rather unusual.

"What?" her question was clearly made due to a certain level of disbelief at just how quickly he had decided to help her but then again, he was the type to help anyone he could.

"How do I become your master?" he asked her once again, it wasn't like he would struggle maintaining her after all, he did have over ten thousand magic circuits and if he ever wanted, he could easily just use his original circuits to project more prana, that always seemed to work for him.

He noted the way she seemed to smirk at that and wondered if making that offer was a good idea.

XXX XXX XXX

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU PROJECTED MORE MAGIC CIRCUITS?!" Medea of Colchis was not happy... not one bit, the simple fact that her newly partnered master had so much Prana he made the Grail look inadequate wasn't a negative but when she had asked him how he had so much prana, his response had been completely nonsensical, with him claiming that he had simply projected more circuits.

You couldn't project magic circuits.

That was a fact of magic, you couldn't create more than you started with.

But this idiot of a boy was claiming that he had.

"Uh..." he was clearly unsure of how to respond to her anger and she couldn't exactly blame him, she could be outright terrifying when she got angry, "I used projection to create more magic circuits since my original ones weren't particularly good."

She seethed at that explanation.

"Show me your projections then!" she demanded, there was no way she was going to let him get off with such a dreadful excuse.

"Uh... okay," and with that he created a ball of glass.

She had to blink at that, there had been no surge of prana, no flash of light, nothing to indicate anything had happened, outside of the sudden, inexplicable appearance of a glass ball that was soon handed to her to study... she swore she would show him that his idea that he projected his magic circuits was wrong.

XXX XXX XXX

Medea was seriously beginning to wish she could dissect her master.

The idiot didn't even realise he wasn't using Projection, but the Denial of Nothingness.

Seriously, how could he not even notice he wasn't using any prana to 'project' anything?

"Master," she said as sweetly as she could manage, "you are not using Projection."

"Yes I am," he didn't even bother waiting for her to explain herself before denying her statement.

"No you aren't," she stated firmly, "what you are using is the Denial of Nothingness, a true magic."

"No I'm not," she couldn't stop herself from blinking at his quick dismissal of the truth.

"Yes you are," she tried to reassure him.

"No I'm not," her eye twitched, why wasn't he refusing to accept that he wasn't using projection but the Denial...

Her mind stalled.

By Zeus, he was in Denial of his own ability to use the Denial of Nothingness.

Never before had she felt the urge to smash her head against a solid surface as much as she did right then.